


The Return

by LibertyLady17



Series: Beautiful and Broken [1]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Internal Conflict, Tragic Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 93,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14493588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibertyLady17/pseuds/LibertyLady17
Summary: In the aftermath of the Great War, Tommy Shelby returns home to lead the notorious Peaky Blinders gang. A callused man, Tommy embodies Birmingham’s depravity along with the shadows of France. His plan is to create an empire, that is, until the arrival of a mysterious Irish woman. Rebecca must choose between concealing her past troubles, and embracing her future. Can the goodness of one woman heal the scars of depravity that run to the core of Tommy Shelby? Or will Tommy return to his old ways?





	1. Prologue - 1914

Author Note: Any recognizable characters or themes are the property of Steve Knight and BBC. No profit is made from this work. 

 

Prologue - 1914 

A young man in a peaked cap ran through the streets of Small Heath. The razor blades imbedded in the brim of the cap glistened in the moonlight as he sprinted towards home. His pace remained steady until he reached his home on Watery Lane. All the while church bells could be heard in every county throughout Britain.

“Family meeting!” Arthur yelled as he burst through the front door. His voice not yielding any response as he entered the open doors leading from the kitchen into the betting shop. 

“What is it Arthur?” Polly asked, her tone revealing just how unconcerned she was with her nephews late night request. She was sat at a table in the center of the betting shop counting stacks of coins and scribbling in a large leather ledger. 

“Aunt Pol, we’re at war.” Arthur breathed. Polly slowly raised her head and stared pointedly at her nephew. 

“Fuck.” Was all Polly could utter. It was known that Britain might enter the war, but hearing of it in certain terms was enough to nearly knock the wind from her lungs. She pulled a cigarette from her small brass tin and brought it between her lips to light. After a long drag and exhale she looked at Arthur once again. “Go get John.” She uttered as she rose to her feet. Arthur turned and left to retrieve his brother from his own home across the road. Polly climbed the stairs quickly and headed for the bedroom at the end of the short hall. She knocked quickly before turning the knob. 

“Thomas.” Polly called as she pushed open the door. Thomas was laying in his bed. His piercing blue eyes transfixed on the ceiling above him, not looking anywhere in particular. “Family meeting.” She said as she turned on her heel. It was no surprise to Polly that he was in such a pensive mood. Thomas huffed as he pulled his suspenders up over his shoulders once again before slinging his gun holster over his shoulders. He took his revolver from the bedside table, flicked it open to observe that each chamber was loaded before flicking it closed, and placing it in the holster. When he arrived downstairs, Polly was already seated at the table.

“What is this about Polly?” Thomas asked as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“We’re at war Thomas.” Polly said gravely as she lit another cigarette. Thomas was silent for a moment before following suit and lighting his own cigarette. Within minutes John and Arthur burst through the door and took their places at the table.

“Get on with it Arthur.” Thomas said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“We’re at war.” Arthur stated. 

“And?” Thomas asked as he exhaled smoke, causing it to swirl around his head. 

“And what? We’re at fucking war. Do you know what that means?” Arthur yelled. Thomas was quiet, his piercing blue eyes locking with his brother’s pale green eyes. Thomas motioned for him to proceed. “Are we enlisting or what?” Arthur asked. 

“What’s goin’ on?” A lanky teenage girl with medium length brown hair asked as she stood at the bottom of the stairs in nothing but her night dress. 

“Go back upstairs Ada.” Polly said firmly. 

“But Aunt Pol, I’m 16! Why can’t I be here for family meetings.” Ada begged, which only made her immaturity more obvious.

“No.” Polly said harshly, flashing her a glare. Ada huffed before marching up the stairs loudly. “Don’t wake Finn! For fuck sakes.” Polly called out in exasperation. 

“We will enlist. Together, tomorrow morning.” Thomas said. His face blank and eyes devoid of emotion, leaving everyone at a loss as to what he was truly feeling.

“Look, Tommy.” John said leaning forward. “I know you don’t have much to live for, but I do.” John said. His tone was sensitive to his brother’s recent hardships, but his first thought was of his wife and children.

“Oh fuck.” Polly muttered under her breath. Tommy leaned across the table, staring pointedly at his younger brother. The tense silence nearly suffocating everyone in the room. Without further warning, Tommy stood straight, drawing his revolver on his brother. 

“Tommy!” Arthur yelled as he stood to defend John. 

“Stop it Tommy!” Polly yelled. 

“Fucking hell Tommy!” John yelled as he put his hands up in the air. The four stood frozen, knowing that Thomas would blow John’s head off at the kitchen table if he deemed it fit.

“This has nothing to do with Greta!” Tommy yelled before restoring his gun to the holster.


	2. Easter Rising

Easter Rising  
Easter 1916

Laying in the crumpled bed I closed my eyes, desperate for silence after a day full of deafening noise. The men who stood by the barricade continued to fire off shots despite the fact that no one was provoking them. The day started like any other, but ended in chaos. The Irish Volunteers, a component of The Irish Republic Army, took Dublin in a bloody fashion. They barricaded the roads and shot those who dared to resist them. As the night slowly crept on towards morning, the men in the street began to sing and chant. I opened my eyes, turning to find my mother knelt beside the bed with her rosary beads pressed between her fingers as she mouthed her prayers. 

 

“No, Aedan. I’m sorry. My answer is no.” I replied. I kept my eyes on my feet, unable to look him in the eye. What a fucking bastard. Aedan and his fucking cause had brought down hell and furry on Dublin, and for that I would never forgive him. The King ended the Easter Rising with thousands of British troops. It cost the lives of numerous innocent Irish men, women, and children. It had split friends and neighbors. Many were angry at the resistance for the turmoil they brought down on their own people, while others applauded them for their bravery. In the end, only a few hundred Irish Volunteers were imprisonment or executed. The rest, like Aedan, were seen as small fish and released.

“And why not? You have other offers while I was gone fighting for Ireland?” Aedan snapped. I lifted my eyes to the young blonde man in the mismatched green resistance uniform. He had been released only hours ago and a bottle of whisky had replaced his pistol. 

“No. I don’t want any offers Aedan. I don’t want to get married. Not now at least.” I replied honestly. He scoffed at my response.

“Come on Rebecca. With your dad passed on, I’d hate to see you turn to a less than respectable line of work.” Aedan said as he placed his hands on my waist. 

“Bastard!” I shouted as my palm connected with his face with an impressive crack. Aedan stumbled back as he rubbed his face; no doubt feeling the same stinging pain I did in my right hand.

“You bitch! This isn’t the end of this!” He yelled, his face flushing red with rage. I turned and took off down the street toward home. I kept up a steady pace and didn’t stop until the front door was locked behind me. My abrupt entrance brought my mother to her feet. I could tell by the look in her sea green eyes, she was terrified. My wavy brown hair hung in pieces around my face, the hair pins having fallen out somewhere on my way home. 

“Rebecca,” She called as she rushed to my side. I couldn’t make the words come, even though I desperately wanted to tell her. I doubled over, struggling to breath in and out. “What happened?” She begged as she pulled me upright. My chest heaved as I tried to curb the tears.

“Oh mama. I don’t want it. I don’t want to marry him.” I cried out. I let the tears flow freely as my mother’s arms instinctually wrapping around me, her fingers slowly stroking my hair. 

“I won’t force it on you. God knows your father would never forgive me if I did.” She promised. 

“I miss him.” I whispered into her shoulder. My mother nodded, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a small glimpse into Rebecca’s life; much like the previous chapter was a glimpse into Tommy’s. These first two chapters are somewhat slow, but I felt like it was important to set the characters up properly. Things will pick up! Promise!


	3. The Return of 1918

The Return of 1918

The train chugged along the English countryside. Tommy peered out the window of the train, a cigarette between his full lips, as he took in the green hills and small towns as they passed. It went without saying that any man that returned from France would be a changed one, including the Shelby brothers. Sergeant Major Thomas Shelby returned from the trenches of France having earned medals for honor and valor during his service to his country. Unfortunately, that’s all Tommy would be returning home with; leaving pieces of his mind and friends behind in the trenches. He spent hours each day suffocating as he and his men dug tunnels towards enemy lines. On the other hand, Arthur spent day and night in the trenches. His mind terribly warped as a result. John spent two years fighting in the trenches but was reassigned to serve in England when his wife, Martha, took ill in late 1916. She died in early 1917 from complications of influenza. She left John to raise their four children, including a newborn too young to be weaned. It was unknown whether John was tortured more by the atrocity he witnessed in France, or watching helplessly as his young wife suffocated to death as fluid filled her lungs. 

 

“Tommy! Arthur!” Polly called out in excitement as she ran towards her nephews. Polly circled her arms around them tightly, unable to hold back her excitement and relief. “Thank God.” She said, her words muffled by Tommy’s jacket. 

“Yeah, all in one piece.” Tommy muttered. 

“Where is everyone?” Arthur asked. His thick Birmingham accent unchanged by time away. 

“Ada’s out, and John’s at home with the kids.” Polly replied with a sigh. Her duties having expanded yet again when John’s wife died. 

“We should celebrate. Where’s the whiskey?” Arthur asked as he strode into the kitchen. 

“I see somethings never change.” Polly muttered flashing a small grin to Tommy. Tommy stood stoically in the front room, his face like a mask, devoid of any emotion or expression. Arthur returning only moments later with a bottle of whiskey pressed firmly to his lips. 

“Ah! Never tasted this good in France.” Arthur said as he examined the bottle. 

“That’s because they watered it down to make it last Arthur.” Thomas said as he passed his brother to ascended the stairs. Tommy pushed his bedroom door open to find it exactly as he’d left. He closed the door behind him before quickly unbuttoning his uniform, allowing it to collect in a pile on the floor. He felt the mud and smoke fade away with every stitch of clothing he discarded. As he stood naked, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. After a moment of freedom he moved to the dresser and pulled out fresh clothes. He donned a pair of trousers and white collared shirt before slinging his leather gun holster over his shoulders. Feeling incomplete, he went in search of his revolver. As he came down the stairs he saw Polly sitting at the table conversing with Arthur, who had already consumed half the bottle of whiskey.

“Where are you going?” Arthur asked. His words slurred slightly now that the undiluted whiskey surged through his system. 

“Where’s my gun Pol?” Tommy asked. Polly stood, and pulled the door to the betting shop open revealing many men bustling about. She walked toward the safe, quickly entering the combination before pulling on the door. Tommy flicked his wrist to examine the chambers. “What about the bullets Pol? What good does a gun with no bullets do me, eh?” Thomas asked. Polly shot him a look in response to his foul attitude before reluctantly retrieving bullets for him. She dropped them into her nephews hand while searching his face for some sort of explanation. 

“And just what exactly do you intend to do with those bullets Thomas?” Polly asked as her expression hardened. 

“It’s time to show them that the Peaky Blinders lived.” Tommy stated as he placed his revolver in the holster. 

“God help us.” Polly muttered as Tommy turned to leave. Polly returned to sit with Arthur who continued drinking whiskey from the bottle; while Tommy set out for John’s house. 

 

In the months since the war ended, Tommy had ensured that the whole of Birmingham knew the Peaky Blinders had not only survived, but grown stronger in the trenches of France. Arthur, rightful leader turned mental case, spent most of his time at the bottom of the bottle. His inattention to business left Tommy to take charge of the family business. Tommy dove head first into the dark underpinnings of running the family business; working to bring in more money and recruiting tougher men to join him in the less than legal family business. John was still reeling after his wife’s death, barely keeping his children fed and off the streets.


	4. Blue Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Violence, cursing, and triggers ahead!

Blue Eyes  
December 1919

I pushed against the door with all my might; hoping that they would be easily deterred in their drunken state. It was one woman against two grown men and I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t be able to last long. With one more shove from the other side I was pushed back as the door opened, revealing Aedan and his uncle. 

“Aedan.” I choked. Aedan’s hand squeezing my neck tightly as he forced me backwards. Aedan slammed my back into the kitchen table, his body weight crushing my neck. My mother shouted at Aedan, begging him to stop; but he was drunk. I could tell from the glassy look in his eyes. Aedan’s uncle pried my mother off Aedan’s back before pulling Aedan off my neck. 

“You’ll do it too quick like that. Enjoy it.” Aedan’s uncle coached as he looked down at me with a menacing glare. Before I had the chance to beg, his fist connected with my face with a sickening crack. After the third punch my vision blurred into a hazy darkness. He reared back to take another punch, but stopped when mother bashed a plate across his head. 

“You’re the devil!” She shouted. I slumped off the table and landed on the floor with a thud. My head throbbed as my vision faded to black. 

“You bitch!” He yelled as both Aedan and his uncle lunged toward my mother. 

“Rebecca run!” My mother yelled as they forced her to her knees. Aedan’s uncle pulled her hair back and forced her to look at me as he brought blade to her neck. “Go now!” My mother urged. I sat up slowly, my face throbbing from the numerous blows that sent me to the ground. I blinked again, my vision continuing to fade in and out. When my vision finally cleared I saw my mother and our captors. 

“No! Aedan please.” I begged as I crawled on my knees toward them. 

“It’s far too late for deal making lass.” The other man said. His dark eyes burning into mine as he pressed the blade into her creamy skin. I turned my head as soon as the blood appeared. Scrambling to my feet I stumbled toward the open door, desperate for an escape. 

 

The next day I found myself in the dingy streets of Birmingham. The couple of bills in my pocket had been enough for me to get away, but it wouldn’t last me long. I had never heard of Birmingham before, and that was part of the reason I picked it out at the train station in Liverpool. Pushing my fear and anxiety aside; I continued walking until I found a place to lodge for the night. The man behind the desk was kind enough, and he didn’t recoil at the sight of my face. I wasted no time hurrying to my room, locking the door behind me. Only in the stillness could I finally think clearly. But the silence brought the flood of tears I knew were destined to come. A loud sob escaped my lips, no longer able to contain my grief. I slumped to the floor in a heap. My hand concealing the shrieks of grief that escaped my lips. It took hours for the tears to slow; but only in my sleep did the pain momentarily subside. 

I woke to the sun piercing through the threadbare curtains that hung in the windows. As I stood to my feet I felt every joint in my body ache. I moved to examine myself in the small looking glass that hung on the wall. Numerous, deep purple marks now dotted my face. My bottom lip slightly swollen and cracked. I washed myself as best I could with the small wash basin on the table, and fixed my dark brown hair in a simple bun. As I touched the strands my mind briefly strayed back to my mother. Our hair was the same shade of chocolate brown; our skin was fair and freckles appeared every summer without fail. I closed my eyes and willed the tears not to rise again. With a deep sigh I forced the lump forming in my throat back down. I turned my mind to my present predicament – I needed employment if I was to survive on my own. Looking myself over once more I unlocked the door and descended the stairs. I obtained a newspaper from the man behind the desk and he kindly pointed out a couple of advertisements before giving me a firm warning. 

“Stay out of Watery Lane.” He warned. I nodded before turning and setting out on my mission. 

I spent most of the day lost, and the other being denied for every position I inquired about. No doubt the large purple marks on my face deterred many from agreeing to hire me. The looks of disdain were obvious, and nearly identical each time. The sun was setting fast by the time I had exhausted every lead in the paper. My belly had been empty since the day before, and the pains were nearing the point of unbearable. So rather than returning to my lodgings I continued onward in search of food. After filling my belly, I realized that I had done so much walking that I was unsure of which way to turn in order to return to the lodging house. All of my thoughts stopped as a pair of strong, grubby hands encircled my waist. I tried to scream, but one of his grimy hands covered my mouth to prevent my screams from reaching anyone’s ears. I struggled against his grip, trying with all my might to elbow the man anywhere it would hurt. He picked me up, harshly squeezing my middle, as I kicked and thrashed against him. 

“Ah!” I called out once he removed his hand from my mouth. But the man had already succeeded in pulling me far back into the alley, away from the street. “Help!” I called again as the man turned me around and smashed my face into the brick wall with his forearm. He used his other hand to tug on my skirt, bringing them up as he did. “Stop! Please!” I begged as I tried to catch my breath. The man’s forearm pressed harder against the back of my neck, compressing my trachea making it impossible to breath or call for help. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as the stench of alcohol overwhelmed my nose. When he reached my thighs I could feel him preparing himself. Tears began to pool in my eyes as I waited in helpless anticipation for what was about to happen. Suddenly, the pressure was gone, and I fell to my knees. My body felt weak from the struggle and my lungs were desperate for oxygen. 

“What the fuck!” The man yelled out in anger. “Oh, fuck. Mr. Shelby, I’m sorry.” The man groveled. I heard my attacker howl out in pain before he fell to the ground beside me. I closed my eyes and turned away silently praying I hadn’t traded one assailant for another. “Can you stand?” The man asked. I opened my eyes as I turned my head to the man. It was difficult to make out any of his facial features except for his blue eyes that somehow pierced through the darkness. I nodded and stood slowly, leaning heavily on the wall for support.

“Thank you.” I choked out. 

“You better get out of here.” He replied. The glowing tip of his cigarette illuminating his emotionless face. At his behest I began to make my way out of the alley, still holding the wall for support. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know where I am.” I said as I neared the entrance to the street. 

“Ask any of the whores you see around here. They know every lodging in this city.” The man in the black coat replied as he passed me without another look. I turned the opposite direction, eventually finding my way back with the help of a whore but it cost me what little money I had left. 

 

The next morning I rose from my bed, my muscles sore from my struggle the night before. Moving to the mirror I noticed a new cut amongst the healing bruises that scattered my face. I let out a sigh knowing that it would likely scar – a permanent reminder of a hellish night. I washed and dressed before descending the stairs. As I came into view the man behind the desk waved his hand to gain my attention. He looked nervous, panicked even. 

“Miss, I’ve a message for you.” He said. My body tensed. Fuck.

“Yes?” I replied hesitantly. 

“The Peaky Blinders sent a runner around this morning and said they’ve an opening at the Garrison. They said you can start tonight.” The man said. 

“Who?” I asked, the tension dissipating slightly.

“The Peaky Blinders.” The man repeated. I remained silent, waiting for him to elaborate. “I forget you’re not from these parts. The Peaky Blinders they own this city. I’m not sure what you did to attract their attention… but you’ve got it.” The man trailed off as he looked me up and down. 

“I’ve never heard of them.” I replied honestly. My confusion must have been evident on my face because the man appeared convinced that I had not committed any improper acts. 

“Well they certainly know you.” The man replied. 

“Could you point me in the direction?” I asked as I nervously smoothed the front of my dress. The man nodded toward a young boy who stood in the corner wearing a peaked cap with razor blades in the brim. With a nervous smile I thanked him before turning to follow the young boy. He led me through the streets of Small Heath, all the while I prayed that I hadn’t done anything stupid. As we made our way down Watery Lane I took in the soot blackened row of brick houses, noting the factories looming ahead. Turning down Garrison Lane, I saw smoke and flames billow from the factory doors. To the right was the spot where the man had grabbed me the night before. I froze refusing to walk any further. 

“Come on. It’s just up ahead.” The little boy replied as he waved me toward the building in front of him. I swallowed hard as I took a step forward; my mind continuing to race through the details of last night. The boy pushed open the double doors and held one open for me to pass through. I examined the tall lanky man behind the bar as his eyes looked me up and down once in an objective manner. 

“You must be the new barmaid.” He said as he went back to polishing glasses. I took another step inside, allowing the door to fully close behind me. 

“I suppose so.” I replied. 

“I’m Harry,” He said as he looked up at me again. Setting the glasses aside, he slung a towel over his shoulder.

“My name’s Rebecca.” I said as I examined my new surroundings. The floors were still dirty from the mud tracked in by the men’s boots, the paint faded, and the furniture showing the wear it had endured over the years. This was not what I had in mind, but I was out of money and needed something to earn a wage on. 

“Mmm, so are you a whore Rebecca?” Harry asked rather directly. 

“No!” I shot back, more shocked than angry at his question.

“Well, you’re a pretty girl Miss. Rebecca. I can guarantee you that many men will want to know you.” Harry said. His words carried no malice, he was merely stating facts that he knew to be true. I simply nodded, accepting Harry’s words of warning. “Judging on the way you look right now, I’m guessing you’ve never worked in a pub.” Harry said. I simply shook my head no. Harry cracked a smile. “Come on love. I’ve got a lot to teach you before they get here.” Harry said as he ushered me behind the bar. Harry spent the afternoon explaining the beer taps and the liquors kept behind the bar. He showed me the storeroom where he kept extra barrels and crates of liquor. I kept quiet as I absorbed the information.

As the final whistle blew, the first customers stepped through the doors. Most of the men were dressed in dirty trousers, shirts, and coats. Atop their heads were peaked caps. At first, Harry did most of the serving because he knew their usual orders. However, most of the men lingered at the bar to steal an extra-long glance at me. Their gazes made me uncomfortable, but I knew I had to push those feelings away. I needed this job, and I couldn’t do it if I was afraid. Stepping up to the bar, I forcing a smile to my face and began filling orders. 

The evening passed with relatives speed once I gained my confidence. It wasn’t until later, when three men pushed open the doors, that everything came to a screeching halt. Their entrance caused every man in the room to stop and turn their attention towards them. I quickly examined the three of them, each wore a clean three piece suits and peaked caps with razor blades in the brim. My eyes lingered on the handsome man in the middle. His piercing blue eyes taking me back to the man in the alley, the one who’d stopped the other man from raping me. I felt the glass slip from my hand but was too late to catch it. Everyone turned their heads as the glass shattered on the floor. I dropped to my knees to pick up the shards of glass, but also as a way of avoiding the uncomfortable gaze of the blue eyed man. I quickly collected the shards of glass in my towel, hoping that at any moment the pub would return to its previous bustling pace. But the pub remained silent, and as I rose to my feet I stood face to face with the blue eyed man. The throngs of men who stood at the bar only moments ago had fled, making way for the three men. 

“What’ll it be Mr. Shelby?” Harry asked as he stepped forward. I remained frozen under the icy blue gaze. 

“Whiskey.” He said cooly, not taking his eyes off me. In an effort to regain my composure, I scurried to the backroom to discard of the shards of glass. I waited for the noise level to return to its usual deafening roar before returning to the bar. Harry caught hold of my arm as I attempted to pass.

“The fuck was that?” Harry asked under his breath. His grip remained loose, allowing me the freedom to leave the conversation if I wished. 

“I’m sorry Harry. I don’t know what came over me. It won’t happen again.” I replied apologetically. 

“It better not. That’s Thomas fucking Shelby! But based on the fact he told me to hire you, I think you already know Mr. Shelby.” Harry said, his tone still hushed and pointed. Harry nodded towards the window at the end of the bar that led into the small room. “If they ask for anything else, it’s on the house. And don’t make small talk with them, alright? You’re a nice girl, and if they wanted to turn you into a whore there is nothing anyone could do to stop it.” Harry said. I nodded, as Harry released my arm. In that moment all the pieces began to fall into place in my mind. Thomas Shelby had saved me the night before, and he was the reason I now worked in the worn down pub. 

It wasn’t until closing that the door to the snug opened again. The three Shelby brothers strode out, commanding the respect and fear of all those around them once more. I kept my focus on the glass I was polishing until I felt someone’s gaze. Lifting my head slowly, my eyes meet the blue eyed man. Fuck.

“What’s your name?” Thomas asked. I looked to Harry who made no move to help me. 

“Rebecca,” I said as I looked back at Thomas. 

“Mmm, Rebecca…” He said quietly as he mulled over my name. The sound of my name leaving his lips in his thick accent sent a shiver down my spine. “Be careful with those glasses. Harry will have to dock your pay.” Thomas warned as he set his empty whiskey glass on the shiny surface. He positioned his cap on his head and turned, the three walking off with their coat tails breezing behind them. 

“Jesus.” Harry breathed as he took in the exchange he just witness. “The fuck did I get myself into.” Harry whispered to himself before returning to his work. The same question swirled in my head as I returned to work. Who was this Thomas Shelby? Why had he defended me? A woman he just learned the name of. It made no sense, but that was becoming a common theme in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! :)


	5. The Beginning

The Beginning  
Early 1920

“Irish whiskey,” A woman with a thick Dublin accent said when she reached the bar. I stopped and examined the woman in front of me. The thirty something was dressed in a black dress that revealed far more cleavage than any decent woman ought to. Her copper hair was cut short, further accentuating her flawless upper half. 

“Um, yes, of course.” I stuttered as I shook my head in an attempt to refocus my mind. 

“You’re from Dublin, aren’t you?” She asked. 

“Here you are.” I replied as I set the glass in front of her. For the first time since arriving in Small Heath, I felt self-conscious of my Dublin accent. It was so obvious against the native drawls of Birmingham. As the feeling of foolishness rose, so did the red hue to my cheeks. How could I have failed to consider the danger of my voice? 

“How’d you end up here? There are places that would better suit you. A place amongst true Irishman.” The woman said as she smiled despite my discomfort. I forced a smile, unsure of how to proceed with the present conversation. Sensing my continued discomfort, the woman placed her coins on the bar and left without another word. 

“Rebecca,” Harry called. “Rebecca! You alright?” He asked as he set a reassuring hand on my shoulder. With a rush of adrenaline I pulled away from him, throwing his hand off with disgust. I took a few steps back before looking up at Harry’s confused face. 

“I’m sorry.” I stuttered as I turned and quickly fled out the back entrance. I pressed my back against the cool bricks of the Garrison, allowing the winter air to cool my hot skin. I failed to suppress the trembling in my hands as thoughts of the drunk man in the alley threatened to overtake my mind. With all my might I pushed him from my mind. Eventually my heart slowed to a normal rhythm and I no longer felt the weight of his arm on my neck. With a deep breath I pulled the back door open; the noise flooding my ears again. Harry eyed me cautiously as I took up my place at the bar. 

“Rebecca-” Harry started.

“I’m fine Harry.” I insisted. I could sense his hesitation, but eventually he turned his focus back to the customers lined up before us. 

 

At the end of the night Harry left me to clean up the abandoned glasses, sweep the floors, and lock the doors. On this occasion, I was extremely grateful for the time alone. I allowed my mind to mull over the mysterious woman from earlier in the evening, because she kept my mind from reliving my first night in Birmingham. However, the woman’s confident and questioning attitude left my soul somewhat unsettled. 

A loud pounding on the door brought a premature end to my musings. “Who is it?” I asked cautiously as I moved toward the door. 

“Thomas Shelby.” He called. I strained on my toes to reach the latch at the top of the door. As soon as the latch moved, he pushed in from the rain. His hat was pulled down over his eyes and his coat pulled up around his neck in an effort to keep the rain out. 

“Mr. Shelby,” I greeted. “I’m sorry. We’ve closed already.” I said, suddenly unsure if I could refuse him service. 

“Just get me a drink.” Tommy said as he proceeded to sit at a table near the bar. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“Anything.” Tommy said as he removed his cap, leaving some of the longer strands of hair plastered to his forehead. I set a bottle of whiskey on the table along with a single glass before turning to leave him. “I didn’t come here to be alone.” Tommy snapped as he snatched my wrist. The sensation of his skin on mine stilled my heart momentarily, before it picked up into a flutter. I took the seat opposite of him, as he slid a glass of whiskey across the table to me. 

“What’s troubling you?” I asked. Tommy smirked, his teeth barely visible. 

“I want to know who you are.” Tommy said as he leaned back in his chair. 

“What about me?” I replied, trying desperately to hide my nerves. Tommy’s fascinating blue eyes pierced my soul. I could tell, based on his determined expression, that he would demand an answer. 

“What’s your last name?” Tommy asked. 

“What does that matter?” I shot back.

“If it doesn’t matter, then just tell me your name.” He persisted. I swirled the amber liquid in my glass, refusing to look up at him. “Alright then, let’s start with how a little girl from Dublin ended up in Birmingham?” Tommy asked. I scoffed and cracked a smile.

“I’m twenty-two years old, I’m hardly a little girl anymore.” Tommy mulled over my response, all the while his blue eyes remaining fixed on me. He was not amused with my cute response, which only made the situation more tense.

“No.” He said shaking his head. 

“Well I don’t know what you want me to say.” I replied defensively. 

“The truth.” Tommy said. All the while his blue eyes dared me to waver. 

“I ran away from home.” I blurted before my mind had a chance to fully process the consequences of sharing this information. He tipped the bottle up once again and took a long drink from it. 

“Let me guess, you got yourself pregnant?” Tommy asked harshly. 

“No! I’ve never been with a man.” I shot back. 

“So you’re a good Catholic girl, eh?” He asked. 

“Yes.” I spat through my gritted teeth. 

“We should have had this conversation in a church, maybe then I would believe you.” Tommy replied curtly. The room fell into silence as Tommy lit a cigarette. “So you ran from your father is it?” Tommy asked. My eyes narrowed on Tommy’s. “Whoever it was, they did a fucking number on your face.” Tommy commented. 

“No. My father was a good man. He died before the war.” I said as I took a gulp of the amber liquid.

“Then who did you run from? You’ve gone to impressive lengths to hide your name. Only someone with something to hide would do a thing like that.” Tommy pressed before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. 

“What does it matter to you?” I shot back defensively. 

“Because you’re using my pub as your fucking hiding place! And if you plan to continue treating it as such, you need to tell me the fucking truth. Do you know what happens when people cross Tommy Shelby? They end up in the cut!” Tommy threatened. His ability to maintain a level expression and tone while issuing out threats was unsettling. I stood and moved to the window, unable to stay within such close range of his harsh gaze. “I want your name! It’s fucking simple.” Tommy demanded again. 

“Rebecca O’Neill.” I cried out in frustration. 

“O’Neill…” Tommy repeated over and over. “Rebecca O’Neill,” Tommy said quietly. My breath caught in my throat as I sensed his close proximity. I turned and found myself toe to toe with the most deadly man in all of Birmingham. His blue eyes searched mine for additional information, while I took the opportunity to examine his face up close. His eyes were devoid of any emotion, but the creases around his mouth and eyes indicated that he once smiled and laughed quiet a lot. What made you this way? 

“Yes?” I choked out.

“Come out with me on Saturday.” He said rather than asked. How could a man breeze from threatening me in one sentence to asking me out in the next? Rather than argue, I simply nodded my head in response. “Dig out a nice dress, we’re going to the races.” Thomas said as he turned and pulled his hat from his pocket. In an instant, the doors of the Garrison swung shut, his coat tails waving in the night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments below! Thank you to all who have left kudos and comments!


	6. Complications

Complications

During the short time since my arrival in Birmingham I had grown comfortable amongst the people. The Garrison was in its usual late night swing; and I was filling an order for one of the regulars when the Shelby brothers walked in. I caught Tommy looking at me out of the corner of my eye, which only made my hand shake and heart race. 

“Rebecca, some beer.” Tommy requested as he leaned on the window at the end of the bar. I nodded my head before turning to the beer taps. As I moved to set them in the window, I noticed Tommy had already closed it. 

“Damn you Thomas Shelby.” I muttered under my breath as I juggled the three large mugs into the next room. When I entered, I was amazed. There he was, a smile spread across his face as his brothers cracked another joke. I had never seen him genuinely smile. Something told me it was a rare occurrence. 

“Will that be all?” I asked after I set the mugs on the table. Tommy’s smile faded to a smirk as he exhaled. 

“That’ll be all.” He said as he picked up his cards and examined them. I turned and left, but the image of Tommy smiling remained. I tried, but failed, to suppress the dumb grin that spread across my face as I closed the door to the snug. 

“You know Tommy, it’s about time you took a good woman.” John teased once the door had shut. 

“Just play the fucking game.” Tommy insisted. 

“Someone is in a good mood.” Harry commented when I returned to fill orders at the bar. 

“If you must know. Mr. Shelby has asked me to the races this Saturday.” I replied. Harry stopped and turned to face me. 

“Rebecca,” Harry warned. 

“I know, I know what you said. I know what everyone says about him.” I replied. 

“It’s been a long time since Tommy has wanted anybody.” Harry commented as he returned to pouring drinks. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. Harry looked sideways, a hint of regret in his eyes. After clearing the queue of customers Harry stepped over to the corner and nodded for me to follow. 

“Tommy, he hasn’t been the same in a long time, even before the war. He lost someone who meant quiet a lot to him.” Harry said as he wiped his hands on the towel. 

“Who?” I asked. Harry took a deep breath and looked around. 

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this.” Harry replied quietly. 

“Too late for all that Harry.” I joked. 

“There was a woman that Tommy loved. There was no denying it the way he went around with that grin on his face, but then she died. It was maybe a month before the war. Tommy enlisted and when he came back he was never the same. No one was the same.” Harry said. Harry looked back at me, the sadness still hanging in his eyes. 

“We need more whiskey.” I lied, desperate for an easy way out of the unpleasant conversation. I couldn’t deny the pang sadness in my chest. To lose someone you love is a terrible thing. Perhaps that woman was the one who gave Tommy all those smile lines. With a deep breath I pushed my mishmash of emotions aside, and focused on the task at hand. I searched the crates for whiskey, but stopped short as the shrieks echoed from the other side of the door. I scurried to the door and pressed my ear to the wood in an attempt to listen. Even with total silence I could only make out bits and pieces of the conversation through the thick door. 

Once the main room fell into silence, I crept out the back door and made my way to the lodging house. Unable to retrieve my coat, the beads of water easily pierced through the fibers of my dress and seeped in through the worn soles of my shoes. As I closed the door behind me, I brought a hand to my chest in an attempt to slow my breathing. I slipped the soaked dress off of my shoulders and placed it over the chair to dry. Moving to the mirror, I began to work my fingers through my tangled wavy hair and wipe away the smudged make up. A knock at the door sent my heart racing all over again. Reluctantly, I made my way toward the door after the second knock. 

“Who is it?” I asked as I tip toed toward the door. 

“Let me in.” Tommy demanded gruffly from the other side of the door. I turned the lock and cautiously cracked the door open. Tommy proceeded to push the door wide open and invite himself in. The rain water pooling in the place he now stood. He closed the door with one hand as his eyes traveled up and down my frame. My cheeks flushed a bright red color when I realized my wet slip made my undergarments easily visible. Tommy cleared his throat as his eyes traveled up my body, eventually focusing on my face. “You stayed. Even after I told everyone to go.” Tommy said rather than asked. 

“I didn’t know… The door was thick.” I stammered. 

“Rebecca, we all have secrets.” Tommy said, pausing momentarily to light his cigarette. “I trust that you will keep what you heard tonight a secret.” Tommy said. His blue eyes now fixed with mine.

“Yes,” I replied with a nod. 

“Good. Have you found a dress for the races?” Tommy asked as he breezed from one point of conversation to the next. 

“I can wear that one.” I replied as I nodded towards the pale blue dress that hung over the chair. 

“You can’t wear that.” Tommy said. I shifted my weight as Tommy pulled a roll of bills from his pocket and began counting them. “Here,” Tommy said as he handed me three bills.

“I can’t take your money Mr. Shelby.” I insisted as I pushed the money back into his hands. 

“It’s just business.” Tommy insisted. His blue eyes looking me up and down again. 

“Please don’t look at me Mr. Shelby.” I begged, growing increasingly uncomfortable under his gaze. 

“Consider it payment for your time.” Tommy said as he handed the crumpled bills back to me. “Goodnight, Rebecca.” Tommy said as he placed his hand on the knob and turned to leave.

“Goodnight, Mr. Shelby.” I replied politely. The room felt empty once Tommy had gone. Moving to the window, I looked down onto the street below, watching as the dark figure begin his trek back towards Watery Lane. Letting the curtains fall back into place, I brought my hand to my chest. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how fast my heart had been racing. As I slipped into bed I began mulling over the day’s events, my mind returning over and over to Tommy’s smile and how handsome he looked as he stood in my bedroom dripping with rain water. 

 

Arthur sat silently in the pew, every few seconds bringing the bottle of amber liquid back to his lips. His mind was jumbled by the alcohol and the turmoil of business. He often sought comfort in this peaceful place, not that he would admit it openly to anyone. Tommy let out a sigh as he sat beside his brother. 

“I keep hearing things Tom. Things I don’t know about.” Arthur muttered before pressing the bottle to his lips and tipping it back. Tommy kept his eyes forward. “What guns Tommy?” Arthur persisted.

“It was never supposed to happen.” Tommy said as he finally turned to look at Arthur. Arthur nodded his head and offered the bottle to Tommy. 

“Is this where your thinking has got us? Arthur asked. Tommy took a swig from the bottle.

“It was taken care of.” Tommy replied. 

“Until it wasn’t. Now we’re getting fucked by the coppers and their special inspector.” Arthur bellowed. 

“The inspector has been taken care of.” Tommy insisted.

“Where are they now Tom?” Arthur asked. 

“Come on.” Tommy said as he stood and made his way toward the back of the church. Tommy and Arthur made their way to Charlie’s yard, making a detour to collect John. Tucked away in Charlie’s yard were the coveted machine guns, ammunition, and rifles stolen from the BSA factory.

“Fucking hell.” John said as he stepped closer to examine the lot. 

“I’ve been to see the Inspector. He agreed to leave our operation alone, and I agreed to return the guns when our business with Kimber is done.” Tommy informed them. 

“Do you trust him?” Arthur asked. Tommy shook his head.

“No.” He said as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “That’s why we have to put them somewhere no one would think to look.” Tommy said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited to release the next chapter! It is about to get good or bad... depending on how you want to look at it... 
> 
> Keep the comments coming. Let me know if you are liking the story so far!


	7. Cheltenham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the beginning of the major departure from Season 1 plot. Oh, and throw the SK timeline out the window. 
> 
> Triggers ahead!

Cheltenham 

On Saturday, I rose with the morning light and quickly took my position in front of the mirror. I combed my fingers through my wavy hair, carefully twisting the strands back before securing them with pins. I turned my head from side to side; ensuring every strand was perfectly in place before applying my makeup. The scar on my cheek had faded to a pale pink, but I still felt self-conscious venturing out without covering it. And today, more than ever, I wanted to blend in amongst the fancy ladies and gentleman. I polished off my look by applying a light rouge to my lips. Then I turned toward the beautiful teal dress sprawled out on the bed. The seamstress had insisted it was perfect for Cheltenham, but I still felt too fancy in it. I blamed my discomfort on my humble upbringing; even though, deep down I knew it stemmed from much more. Setting my apprehension aside, I pulled the dress over my head. Turning back to the small mirror I examined myself. Finally satisfied with my appearance, I gathered my purse and hat before making my way downstairs. 

Tommy was waiting outside with his back pressed up against the black automobile. He removed the cigarette from his mouth as his eyes discreetly traveled up and down my body. 

“Hello,” I greeted as I stepped onto the cobblestone. 

“Hello,” He replied as his blue eyes connected with mine. 

“I hope this is alright.” I said after a brief silence. Tommy looked me over as he brought the cigarette back to his lips, which only made my cheeks flush a deeper shade of red. 

“It will do.” He said. Tommy’s words sent a wave of relief crashing over me. My initial discomfort with the dress vanishing almost instantly. “It’s a long way to Cheltenham. Let’s get on with it.” Tommy said as he opened the passenger door for me. I accepted his outstretched hand as I climbed up into the car. 

 

When we arrived at Cheltenham, Tommy came around to my side of the car and offered his arm. I gladly accepted, and we began making our way toward the track. A small smile appeared on my face as my mind wandered once again to the handsome man next to me. His grey suit was perfectly tailored to accentuate his lean muscles. Focus – this is business not pleasure. 

“So, Mr. Shelby-”

“Call me Thomas or Tommy. I think we’re past the formalities.” Tommy said. I fought another blush that threatened to spread across my cheeks.

“Alright then. Will you lay a bet, Tommy?” I asked, being sure to emphasize his name. 

“No. All race are fixed.” He replied with a smirk.

“Welcome. May I have your name sir?” A man in a black tuxedo asked. 

“Mr. Thomas Shelby.” Tommy replied proudly. It was mind-blowing that one man could embody so much confidence. 

“Not too far beyond the formalities are we?” I joked quietly. Tommy kept his focus on the man in front of us, but I saw the edges of his mouth curl up as he fought a smile. 

“Oh, Mr. Shelby. Mr. Kimber has been expecting you.” The man said. Instantly my grip tightened on Tommy’s arm and my feet refused to move any further. 

“Tommy-” I started. My voice thick with panic. I heard enough through the storeroom door the night Billy Kimber visited the Garrison for the mention of his name to strike fear in my heart.

“Just smile.” Tommy whispered as he leaned in close to my ear. The heat of his breath on my neck sent a wave of excitement through my body. I nodded my head and willed myself forward despite my reservations about Kimber. We followed the man in the black tuxedo through the lavishly adorned room. It was absolutely bursting with wonderfully dressed ladies and gentleman. Thankfully my fancy teal dress allowing me to blend in to the crowd. The area surrounding the bar was so crowded that hardly one person could pass through the massive crowd of people at a time. At least fresh air was drifting in from the balconies overlooking the racetrack. 

“I have some business to attend to with Kimber.” Tommy told me as we made our way through the crowd.

“Then why am I here?” 

“Don’t ask questions. You will find that asking questions will get you into a lot of trouble Rebecca.” Tommy warned. 

“You brought me here to play a part, didn’t you?” I pushed. 

“Rebecca, I need you to stop asking questions. Now, I’m going to introduce you to Kimber and then I want you to go stand by the bar and wait for me. Do you understand?” Tommy said. I nodded my head just as we emerged from the mass of people. I examined Kimber, the man I had grown to fear without ever meeting him face to face. His most prominent features included his slicked jet black hair and mustache. The suit he wore was expensive and well-tailored, but it failed to distract from his beady eyes.

“Tommy Shelby.” Kimber said as he looked us up and down. 

“Mr. Kimber.” Tommy greeted properly. 

“Who is this divine creature you’ve brought? A present for me I hope.” Kimber chuckled as he eyed me lustfully. My grip tightened on Tommy’s arm as I struggled to maintain my polite smile under his gaze. “You remember my man, Roberts.” Kimber motioned to the skinny man with wire framed glasses who was sat to his left. He failed to introduce the brunette woman who sat to his right quietly smoking. From the way he ignored her I could only assume it was his wife or girlfriend. 

“Let’s not bore the women.” Tommy suggested before turning his head toward me. “Rebecca, why don’t you go get yourself a drink while I deal with Kimber and his man.” Tommy said giving me a nod. I quickly excused myself, breathing a sigh of relief once I disappeared into the crowd. I made my way towards an open space at the bar, and began discretely observing Tommy negotiate with Kimber and his accountant. How could I find the back of his head attractive? Or the way he confidently smoked a cigarette during a business negotiation? As much as I hated to admit it Tommy Shelby was deep under my skin. Harry told to stay far away from him, and perhaps it was for this exact reason. 

“Fucking bore.” The brunette muttered as she appeared at my side. Her sudden appearance startled me, but I did my best to disguise my shock. “So, what are you? Whore? Wife? The mistress?” The woman asked as she sipped on a glass of champagne.

“I work for him, but not like you might think. ” I replied. The woman gave me a surprised look. 

“Let me give you some advice. Don’t get married, independence is far better. Far better than fancy clothes or whatever else he might promise you. I was independent once, you know, before him.” She said before taking another impressive gulp of champagne. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I said. 

“A handsome devil though, isn’t he?” She giggled. I cracked a smile and turned back to look at them. How could someone be so handsome yet so dangerous? It was a sin. 

“Too handsome for his own good I reckon.” I replied as Tommy stood and made his way toward us. 

“Rebecca, a word. In private.” Tommy said once he stood at my side. Kimber’s wife excused herself, allowing Tommy and I to speak in private. “Why don’t you go on and watch the race?” Tommy suggested. 

“Why? Aren’t you coming?” I asked. 

“No, I didn’t come to watch the races.” Tommy said as he exhaled, leaving us in a cloud of smoke. I could tell from the tension in his tone of voice and movements that something had changed. 

“Tommy, what’s going on?” I pressed. 

“Rebecca, either you go watch the race or I will have to let Kimber have his way with you. He’s taken a shine to you. Not that I can blame him. You have that virgin bride look to you.” Tommy said as he discarded his cigarette in an ashtray on the bar. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I felt the walls close in around me as I broke into a sweat. How could he be so detached? Especially given the circumstances under which we first met.

“How dare you!” I shouted as I turned to leave. Tommy took hold of my arm, preventing me from leaving. 

“Rebecca-” 

“I’m not a whore!” I spat. Tommy’s grip tightened as he pulled me flush against his body. 

“I never said that. Now I am telling you to go watch the race. I’ll come find you when I’m done.” Tommy said. I pulled away from Tommy and made my way out of the immaculate room. I walked through a maze of hallways and staircases. My only goal was to be as far away from Billy Kimber and Tommy Shelby as possible. In haste I walked in a circle and I found myself back in front of the Owners Club. 

“Lost sweetheart?” I stopped in my tracks, and turned toward the nasally voice. 

“Mr. Kimber.” I replied as I forced a polite smile to my face. 

“Mr. Shelby said that you had gone to watch the race.” Kimber said as he stepped closer. His inflated ego threatened to suffocate me now that we were in such close proximity. 

“Yes. I just was on my way to my seat now.” I said as I took a step back from him. 

“I insist you join me in my box. I have the best view of the track.” Kimber said as he offered his arm. 

“Oh no. I couldn’t impose. You must be very busy.” I replied nervously, which only made Kimber’s smirk expand. 

“All that talk bores me. I insist you join me.” He repeated. I looked from the disturbing smirk on his face to his extended arm. I wanted nothing more than to run away; but he certainly wouldn’t allow that to be the end of it. Reluctantly, I allowed Kimber lead me up another staircase to his private box. A butler, dressed in a black tuxedo, pulled back a red velvet curtain revealing the most splendid view of the entire racetrack. 

“Wow! What a sight.” I said as I rushed to the railing to take in the full view of the track. The horses were already in the gate, and the stands were amass of excitement as everyone waited for the race to begin. 

“A sight indeed.” Kimber said as he grabbed my ass. I spun on my heel and pushed his hands away. 

“I’m not a whore Mr. Kimber.” I said with as much courage as I could muster. I inched toward the curtain and hoped that Kimber would let me leave. A brief chuckle escaping his lips as he processed my statement. 

“You’re a whore if I say you’re a whore!” He yelled as he pushed me against the wall. Shit. He used one hand to keep my body pressed against his own, while the other lifted the skirt of my dress. The tears spilled over onto my cheeks as the all too familiar feeling of helplessness rose within me. 

“No! Please stop!” I begged over and over again as he parted my legs. 

“You like the struggle, do ya?” His lips crashed on mine, preventing me from making any more noise. My body tensed as his fingers slipped inside me. I frantically struggled against him as he began adjusting his trousers. Kimber persisted until a series of thuds echoed from the other side of the curtain. He turned toward the open curtain where Tommy stood examining the sight of us. “The fuck you think you’re doing?” Kimber yelled. Without another word Tommy pulled his revolver from its holster and fired a single shot. I cried out in horror as Kimber fell to the ground in a bloody heap. Tommy stepped forward with his hand outstretched toward me; his chest heaving and eyes wild with adrenaline. 

“Come on.” Tommy called as he motioned for me to follow. I looked down once more at Kimber’s crumpled, bloody body. My mind told my body to run as fast as my feet would carry me but my body remained frozen. It was as if my feet were glued to the carpet. Finally Tommy pulled me away from Kimber and forced me onward in a tense silence. At the bottom of the staircase lay the butler. His neck contorted in the most horrid way. What had Tommy done? 

 

“Why?” I asked once the car was in view. Tommy ignored my question and continued pulling me toward the car. I tore my arm from Tommy’s grip, stopping us just in front of the car. 

“Rebecca, get in the car.” Tommy ordered as he pointed toward the car.

“Why did you ask me to the races?” I asked. Tommy’s blue eyes flashed with anger as his chest continued rising and falling at a rapid rate. “Why did you have to send him after me? I’m not a whore! You of all people ought to know that Tommy!” I shouted. 

“Enough! Enough of your fucking questions! Get in the fucking car Rebecca.” Tommy shouted. 

“Fuck you Tommy Shelby!” I shouted at the top of my lungs as I turned on my heel to leave. Tommy caught my hand and swiftly turned me back to face him.

“I know you’re not a whore!” Tommy fired back. He paused for a moment and exhaled sharply. “Now, would you get in the fucking car.” He said as his tone began to level. I pulled away from him and reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat. Billy Kimber had been shot; and sooner rather than later, the police would be swarming the track looking for whoever was responsible.


	8. Aftermath

Aftermath

Arthur and John were surprised to find Tommy sat in the snug with a half empty bottle of whiskey. And based on the numerous cigarette butts in the ashtray, it seemed that Tommy returned from the races much earlier than he had anticipated. Tommy’s grave expression was all Arthur and John needed to know that the business deal had not gone according to plan. 

“So, are we in business with Kimber?” Arthur asked as John closed the door. Tommy shook his head.

“I shot him.” Tommy admitted. 

“Tommy, you fucking idiot! Why would you do something so bloody stupid?” Arthur shouted. 

“The fuck Tommy?” John yelled simultaneously with Arthur. 

“Kimber took a liking to her so I told her to go watch the race. When I was done with Kimber’s accountant I went to find her. Kimber was about to fucking have his way with her. You should have seen her face.” Tommy shook his head, as if the motion would erase the horrible image from his mind. He tipped the bottle back and took a long drink. 

“Did you kill him?” John asked. 

“I don’t know.” Tommy replied. 

“Of all the times for you to be a fucking gentleman.” John muttered. 

“Fuck it. Tommy listen to me. First, you fixed a race without his permission. Then you try to work for him. But instead you fucking shoot him over who? A fucking barmaid? Have you lost your mind Tommy?” Arthur shouted. Tommy shook his head. 

“Makes no sense at all.” Tommy admitted as he took another drink from the bottle.

“Come on Arthur. Let’s go.” John said as he clapped Arthur on the back. John and Arthur left Tommy to his thoughts. 

“Harry!” Tommy called. Harry appeared in the doorway moments later, a towel between his hands. “Send someone around to collect Lizzie.” Tommy muttered without making eye contact with Harry. Harry simply nodded and closed the door. A half hour later Lizzie Stark strode into the snug. The tall woman with jet black hair was accustomed to Tommy’s late night calls, although usually he visited her not the other way around. 

“You sent for me.” Lizzie said as she removed her jacket and dropped into the chair next to Tommy. Tommy counted out the bills and slid them across to Lizzie. 

“Yes.” Tommy said as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. 

“Here?” Lizzie shot back. Tommy’s icy blue eyes met Lizzie’s pale green one’s. 

“Location never matter to you before Lizzie.” Tommy said as he stood to his feet. Lizzie followed Tommy with her eyes as he moved to lock the door. 

“It’s different now Tommy. You know that.” Lizzie challenged. Lizzie and Tommy’s history was a long one; it stretched back to childhood. Lizzie’s challenging attitude usually turned Tommy on, but tonight he was in no mood to fight. Tommy sighed as he looked down at the floor. 

“Please Lizzie. I’m not in the fucking mood to fight you.” Tommy begged as his eyes lifted to Lizzie’s once again. Lizzie silently contemplated Tommy’s proposition. Her mind drifting back and forth between John and Tommy. 

“Fuck. Alright. One last time Tommy, but it’s the last time. I mean it this time.” Lizzie said as she stood to her feet. Before she could take another breath, Tommy’s lips were pressed firmly against her thin red lips. The two easily falling into their familiar routine. 

 

I frantically pulled the teal dress over my head and cast it into the corner of my room. It had taken all of my remaining strength to ride back to Small Heath in the same car as Tommy. The events of the day left me feeling completely drained. Once again, alone in the silence, every terrible memory flooded my mind. A frustrated cry escaped my lips as I collapsed on the bed in my undergarments. The tears poured from my eyes as the sobs shook my entire body. I frantically stood to my feet when the sensation of Kimber’s hands on my body returned. I tore the remainder of the clothes of my body, but the sensation and smell of Kimber remained. Moving to the chest of drawers I quickly applied fresh knickers, a brazier, and a dress before turning to leave. I stepped out into the dark street. My only goal was a warm bath. Anything to forget the horrible day. 

I dipped my head under the water, savoring a brief moment away from the horrid world above. When I resurfaced I wiped the colorful streaks of makeup from my face. I remained in the bath until the water turned cold and my fingertips wrinkled. The smell of Kimber faded, but the memory refused to. I came to the sickening realized that this day would not be easily forgotten. Why did God bring me here? Why did my heart long for a man I could never have? What had I done to deserve his betrayal? Why? I sat on the edge of the porcelain tub and buttoned my dress. My mind returning to Tommy, Kimber, Aedan, the stranger. 

“Bad day?” A young woman asked. The question paralyzing my entire body. 

“Mhm.” I mumbled feeling incapable of stringing a sentence together. 

“Here, you ought to dry your hair before you go out. You’ll catch your death.” She said. I looked up to find a young woman with short brown hair, a fresh towel in her outstretched hand. 

“Thank you.” I said as I took the towel from her hand. 

“Are you alright?” She asked again. I wish she would stop asking me that. 

“Are you religious?” I asked her. She chuckled. 

“No, not really.” She admitted. I stopped squeezing the water from my wavy locks and stood straight up.

“Well after today, I doubt even holy water will wash away my sins.” I said as I handed the towel back to her. “Thank you.” I said as I turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your thoughts in the comments below.


	9. Confession

Confession

The Garrison was bursting, the queue to the bar was at least ten deep since we opened. I was thankful for the constant distraction. I found that if I kept myself busy I could temporarily forget about Kimber, but no matter what I couldn’t shake my hatred of Tommy. He had completely ignored me. He had yet to speak to me or apologize for what happened. Maybe it was all a part of his plan from the beginning? To add insult to injury, the Shelby brothers were conducting business in the snug. Thankfully Harry took care of their orders and Finn was standing guard outside the door, which cut out all possible interactions with Tommy. 

“An Irish whiskey.” The woman with the thick Dublin accent said. Her presence no longer phased me. She had become somewhat of a regular. I quickly poured her drink, for which she thanked me by handing over two coins. 

“Next.” Finn called out into the busy room. I watched as the woman turned and walked confidently past Finn. The teenage boy looked stunned; either by her scantily clad figure, her boldness, or both.

“Rebecca I need to change the barrel. Keep it moving until I get back.” Harry said as he made his way to the storeroom. I kept filling orders as quickly as possible, hoping to pass the time. The woman emerged minutes later with her head held high and a confident smirk plastered across her face. 

“Rebecca,” John called from the now open window at the end of the bar. 

“Yes?” I asked as I reluctantly approached the window. 

“Tommy’s asking for ya.” He said. I could tell by the way he diverted his eyes that he was uncomfortable relaying the message. 

“Why?” I asked setting my hands on my hips. 

“Didn’t say. Just asked for ya.” John said as he continued chewing his toothpick aggressively. 

“Sorry John. Harry’s in the back and we’re flat out.” I said pointing toward the massive crowd waiting to place their orders. 

“Eh, Harry! We need Rebecca in here.” John shouted. I turned to find Harry struggling to fit the new barrel through the storeroom door. Harry set the barrel down in front of the taps and nodded helplessly. He knew full well that he would never catch up on all the orders without my help. I let out a sigh of frustration as I reluctantly untied my apron and discarded it behind the bar. Finn opened the door revealing the three eldest Shelby brothers in a cloud of smoke. 

“Yes?” I asked once Finn had closed the door. I stood defiantly in front of John, Arthur, and Tommy. All three of them eyeing me as they sipped whiskey and continued chain smoking.

“Rebecca O’Neill from Dublin. What do you know about the IRA being in Birmingham?” Tommy asked confidently. The air rushed from my lungs as the blood drained from my face. How had they found out?

“What?” 

“Are you for or against them?” Tommy asked. 

“Since when do you care?” I shot back defensively. John and Arthur looked both shocked and amused by my sharp response. Tommy shot me an unamused look. Tommy despised defiance. 

“I have a job for you. But first I need to know where you stand.” Tommy repeated, his tone remaining leveled despite his annoyance. 

“I’m not interested.” I said before turning to leave. 

“Fucking answer me.” Tommy demanded as he stood to his feet. I turned back to face Tommy’s icy blue eyes. They were wild with adrenaline or anger. I’m not sure which, it was always difficult to read him. 

“Rebecca,” John said as stood and approached me. “I know what happened. I wouldn’t want to help-” John said. If looks could kill, Tommy Shelby would have been deep under the ground with the look I shot him. 

“Did you tell them the whole story Thomas?” I shouted cutting off John as I pushed past him and approached the table. “Huh? How you asked me to the races? You were a gentleman. You gave me a fucking choice Thomas. Why did you send him after me?” I shouted as I pushed him with all my might. 

“I never fucking sent him after you!” Tommy yelled as he slammed his fists on the table. Arthur stood and placed a hand on Tommy’s chest, preventing him from making any further moves. I slowly stepped away from him, turning away in embarrassment as the tears filled my eyes. I pushed past John, throwing the door to the snug open before quickly exiting the Garrison. “Let her go.” Tommy said as he sat back down and began pouring himself another whiskey. 

 

The anger that I previously held for Tommy had all but vanished after my night of crying. The anger had given way to a deep sorrow. I had foolishly allowed myself to develop feelings for Tommy, and in my own naivety believed he felt something for me too. After the races, I held only feelings of resentment and hatred for him. At the time I had no way of knowing that Tommy was innocent, and had acted swiftly in my defense. I wrongfully assumed that it was all a part of an elaborate scheme. Tommy’s confession left me in a state of confusion. I took a deep breath, and tried with all my might to push any thoughts of Tommy from my mind. Making the sign of the cross I knelt on my knees and closed my eyes. 

“I thought I would find you here.” Tommy whispered as he sat in the pew. I briefly turned to glare at him through my white lace prayer veil. 

“This is a sight I never thought I would see.” I muttered as I looked forward. “What do you want Tommy?” I asked angerly. 

“I need to know if you have any loyalties with the IRA.” Tommy said as he knelt next to me. 

“Tommy, please. We’re in a church for goodness sake.” I scolded as I looked around. There were only a few other parishioners praying; most of which were too far away to overhear our conversation. However, the proximity of others did little to alleviate my growing discomfort with Tommy’s line of questioning. 

“Yes, and a good Catholic girl such as yourself would never lie in church. Not while God is listening.” Tommy said as he looked to the effigy of Jesus on the cross hanging in the front of the church. I scoffed. 

“It’s hard to believe you can speak of God without bursting into flames.” I replied bitterly. Tommy shook his head, chuckling quietly.

“I need to confess something.” Tommy said as he turned his attention forward. 

“I’d say you have much to confess Tommy Shelby.” I said, looking up at the cross. 

“I need you.” He said. I slowly turned to look at him. Of all the things for Tommy Shelby to confess, I never could have expected that. 

“I highly doubt that.” I replied nervously. Tommy turned his head, his eyes locking with mine. I hated his ability to capture my attention and look so deeply into my soul. 

“I need you Rebecca. I’m not accustomed to needing people, and I can’t say that I enjoy the feeling. But I need you.” Tommy confessed. I turned forward, unable to stand the intensity of his gaze. I quickly made the sign of the cross before sitting back in the pew. 

“Tommy-”

“Please, Rebecca.” Tommy said as he moved to sit beside me in the pew. I felt his hand slip into mine, bringing our eyes back together. “I need to know.” He said quietly. I searched his eyes while my heart threatened to explode from my chest. The look in his eyes and the softness of his words nearly brought the confession to lips – Aedan, my mother, everything.

“I have no loyalties with them.” I replied quietly. 

“Good.” He said as he moved to stand. 

“Not before you answer some questions.” I said as I tugged on his hand. 

“Fuck. Alright, let’s hear them.” Tommy replied reluctantly as he sat beside me. 

“Why do you need me? What business do you have with the IRA Tommy?” I asked, careful to keep my volume to a whisper.

“There is a plan.” Tommy muttered as he pulled out a cigarette. I scoffed, taking the cigarette from his mouth. 

“This isn’t some street gang your dealing with. This is the fucking IRA Tommy.” I shot back. Tommy smirked as the curse left my mouth. “Why me?” I finally asked. 

“You’re from Dublin.” Tommy replied. His brief explanation only irritated me further. 

“I know for a fact, that I’m not the only woman from Dublin in Small Heath.” I replied. Tommy nodded his head. 

“Yes. But you’re the only woman from Dublin that I trust.” Tommy said. Once again, Tommy’s words threatened to steal the breath from my lungs. 

“Why would you trust me?” I asked in disbelief. 

“I know you can keep a secret.” He said as he looked from my lips back to my eyes. “Now I’m going to trust you with another secret Rebecca.” He whispered. I nodded my head, unable to make the words come. “I have the guns that are missing from the BSA factory. The guns the inspector is looking for.” Tommy confessed. 

“Are you fucking insane?” I blurted out as I stood to my feet. Tommy pulled me back down, covering my mouth with his hands. Thankfully, my curse only causing a few heads to turn toward us. Tommy’s piercing blue eyes warned me not to raise my voice again. 

“It was never meant to happen. But I’ve made a deal with Churchill’s man, and he has agreed to leave my operations alone if I will turn over the guns.” Tommy said releasing his hand from my mouth. 

“I thought the inspector was looking for communists.” I replied. 

“No. He was sent here to recover the stolen guns. The communists simply occupy his time.” Tommy said shaking his head. 

“What does any of this have to do with IRA?” I asked cautiously. 

“The IRA know about the guns. Now they want to parley.” Tommy said. 

“No! Tommy, under no circumstances can you give the IRA guns.” I pressed quietly. I wanted to shout and scream at him. Whatever it would take to knock some sense into him, but I doubted that would get me anywhere. 

“I’m just doing business Rebecca. They will pay me in exchange for the location of the guns. Once the deal is done, the police will lift them.” Tommy said. I shook my head at him. 

“So why do you need me?” I asked. 

“If it was up to the police I would hang.” Tommy said. I stared at him, a feeling of hopelessness rising deep within me. How was I supposed to save a man like Tommy Shelby? 

“What can I do?” I asked. 

“There is a woman from Dublin who has frequented the Garrison on occasion-” Tommy said. My face dropped. “What?” Tommy asked. I shook my head. 

“I just felt something the first time I met her.” I replied. 

“Well she’s been hanging around looking for information about the guns. I need you to follow her. See if you can find some leverage on her.” Tommy said. 

“Alright.” I agreed. I must have lost all my common sense agreeing to such a thing, but in that moment my hatred for the IRA trumped all. 

“Then let’s get on with it.” Tommy said as he stood and stepped into the isle. I followed suit, pausing momentarily to give the sign of the cross before making my way toward the exit. Looking up at the cross one last time, Tommy tipped his cap before following me.


	10. Dangerously

Dangerously

“Tommy, where are we going?” I asked as he continued down the smoke filled path. The sound of machinery from the factory was deafening, and the air was black with thick smoke. 

“You’ll see.” He promised without looking back. The metal gate creaked loudly as he pushed it open, allowing me to pass. I looked around, noting the piles of scrap metal spread about, and the canal in front of us. 

“Alright Tommy, why did you bring me all the way out here?” I asked, my hands firmly planted on my hips. Tommy smirked.

“This way.” He said as he continued further into the yard. He stopped in front of a line of glass bottles propped up on a table. “I want you to shoot.” Tommy said as he turned back to me, his revolver in his outstretched hand.

“What?” I asked in shock. I kept my eyes fixed on the gun in Tommy’s hand, but made no move to accept it. Noting my hesitation; Tommy placed the revolver in my hand before motioning to the line of glass bottles. I looked down at the gun in my hand. It was heavy and cold. For a moment I allowed myself to consider the many people who met their maker at the end of this barrel. The thought made my blood run cold. “Why?” I asked looking back up at Tommy. 

“If you’re going to work for me, I need to know you can protect yourself.” Tommy said as he worked to light the cigarette between his lips. 

“Tommy, I never agreed to kill anyone.” I protested. 

“And hopefully you won’t have to.” He said. He took a long drag from his cigarette before exhaling. He placed the cigarette between his lips before turning me around to face the line of bottles. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders as he guided the gun in my hands up. “Don’t put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to shoot.” Tommy instructed as his fingers positioned mine. “Move it this way just a bit. Then you pull this back. Now shoot.” He said quietly in my ear. I pulled the hammer back and squeezed the trigger. The gun recoiled, jolting both my hand up. Despite the significant jolt of my hand the bullet still hit the bottle, shattering it instantly. “Good, now do it again.” Tommy coaxed as he stepped away. 

“Don’t you have something smaller? One that would be easier for me to manage.” I asked as I turned back to face him. Tommy shook his head and stepped behind me again. His hands turning me back toward the row of glass bottles. 

“Keep your feet apart. Just like that.” Tommy said kicking at my feet slightly. I positioned my feet shoulder width apart as he instructed, looking back at him for further instruction. “Now look at your target and aim the gun like you did before.” Tommy said pushing my arms up. I wrapped both hands around the gun, leaving my index finger off the trigger. “Go on.” Tommy said as he stepped away. I turned my focus to the next bottle. With a deep breath I pulled back the hammer and squeezed the trigger. The bullet shattering the second bottle into a thousand pieces. I hit the three remaining bottles before Tommy stepped in. “Alright, alright, that’s enough.” He said as he took the gun from my hands and holstered it.

“Do I get my own gun now?” I teased as a smile flashed across my face. 

“Yes.” He said as he began walking.

“Really?” I asked as I hurried to catch up to him. 

“Yes. But if you ask me one more fucking question I will change my mind.” Tommy replied. I smirked to myself as we made our way back toward Watery Lane.

 

I sat quietly in the pew with my rosary beads pressed firmly between my fingers as I waited. I looked over at the large wooden confessional, willing the woman to emerge. 

“Hello Rebecca,” A woman with dark hair and dark brown eyes said as she sat in the pew in front of where I was knelt. She turned back, her black lace prayer veil shielding a portion of her face. But I didn’t need to see her face to know exactly who she was. “My name is Polly.” She said as she turned forward. 

“I know who you are.” I replied quietly as I pretended to pray. 

“Thomas told me about your little plan.” She told me. Her voice was confident, strong, and pointed much like Tommy’s. However, there was something more terrifying about Polly. The way she walked, talked, and carried herself told the entire world that she would do anything. And in a lawless place like Birmingham, I had no doubt Polly had done it all to maintain her center place in the Shelby family. 

“What plan?” I asked. She scoffed, turning back to me briefly. 

“Be careful. God is listening.” She said with a smirk. The blood in my veins went cold. “For the record, I think this plan is fucking ridiculous.” Polly said as she turned forward again. 

“That makes two of us.” I muttered. 

“So, tell me. How does a good Catholic girl end up carrying a gun for the Peaky Blinders?” Polly asked. 

“A good Catholic girl?” I replied bitterly. 

“You own a prayer veil and rosary. You attend mass every Sunday morning and go to confession every Thursday afternoon. I believe that describes a good Catholic girl, don’t you? Your parents must be proud.” Polly said. My breath hitched in my throat. “Unless your fucking Tommy.” Polly said as she turned with a smirk on her lips and fire in her eyes. 

“No.” I shot back, bringing a smirk to her lips. 

“Fuck. It’s worse than I thought. You love him. Please tell me you have not filled your head with deluded thoughts of a reformed Tommy, doing it proper.” Polly said. I looked into Polly’s dark eyes; finding it impossible to formulate the right words. “Let me tell you a little story Rebecca. When Tommy was your age he fell in love with a girl names Greta Jurossi. She was Italian, so you can imagine how her parents took to Thomas, right?” Polly chuckled. “But he managed to convince them that a Gypsy boy was worthy of their daughter. Then she got sick, and Tommy held her hand every day until she died. Don’t fool yourself love. What you see is what you get with Tommy. He had the notion to do it proper once, and well... he won’t make that mistake again.” 

“I’ve heard the story.” I said through my teeth. I tried desperately to hide the bitterness and pain I felt after listening to Tommy and Greta’s tragic story for a second time. I looked over at the confessional, mentally willing the woman to appear. As if by some miracle my target emerged from the confessional moments later. “Sorry to cut it short Polly, but I have to go.” I said as I stood and made the sign of the cross before exiting the church. My unexpected encounter with Polly left me in a state of emotional confusion. I struggled to keep track of the woman amidst my thoughts of Tommy and Greta. My anxiety grew tenfold when Birmingham accents faded to thick Irish ones. I opened my purse as I continued walking, hoping that the sight of the revolver would curb my fear. I pushed all thoughts of Tommy and Greta to the side and refocused on the mission at hand. 

The woman ducked in a doorway with a sign overhead that read ‘The Black Swan’. Now this was a predicament I had not prepared myself for. No pub would serve an unaccompanied women. And if I chose to follow her inside my identity would undoubtedly become known. But if I didn’t follow her, I would have no information to report and Tommy’s life would still be at risk. With a deep breath I pushed the door open, leaving my better judgment and inhibitions behind. I strode up to the bar and waited. As the barman turned, his expression transitioned to one of confusion.

“I’m sorry lass. I can’t serve you.” He said with a thick Irish accent. I smiled politely, unsure of how to proceed. 

“Look at this.” A familiar female voice called. I turned my head to find my target approaching me. “I see you’ve finally found us.” She said with a confident smile as she leaned on the bar. The barman instinctually poured her an Irish whiskey. She didn’t ask for it, nor did she pay. 

“This is the place where you said I could be amongst friends.” I replied, trying desperately to shove my fears down. 

“Are you so sure you are among friends?” She challenged with a sly smile. 

“Hopefully more so than at the Garrison.” I replied. Her brown eyes looked me over as she considered my remark. 

“The name’s Mae Finney.” She said extending her hand. 

“Rebecca,” I replied as I shook her hand. 

“Daniel, why don’t you get our new friend a drink. First one’s on the house.” She said with a smile before turning and walking into the back room. At first, I was content to eavesdrop on the conversations taking place around me. However, that provided very little information. I took to talking with the men who offered to buy my drinks. After my fourth whiskey I knew it was time to leave. My senses were dulling and I couldn’t afford to let my guard down. Tommy was relying on me to be able to relay the information I gathered. I nodded my head to the barman before waving to the table of men I had left behind. I slowly made my way back to the Garrison, struggling to remember my way now that the whiskey was playing my mind. I pushed the large double doors of the Garrison open, causing Harry’s eyes to snap up at the sound of the doors knocking against the wall. I gave him a small, drunken smile as I made my way to the snug. 

“Well aren’t you a sight.” John said as he chuckled to himself. No doubt my drunken state was a sight to see. 

“A sight indeed.” Arthur agreed. I shifted my eyes to Tommy who was also taking in the sight of me. The thoughts of Tommy and Greta resurfaced, forcing their way to the forefront of my mind. Suddenly I felt the need for another drink.

“Alright. Why don’t you give us a minute, eh?” Tommy said extinguishing his cigarette in the ashtray and standing to his feet. John and Arthur shared a look before standing to their feet and exiting the snug. “It appears you had a good time.” Tommy commented once we were alone.

“Now Tommy, before you get angry. I followed her just as you asked. But it took more than I expected to get any information out of them.” I replied as I shifted my weight, feeling increasingly uncomfortable under Tommy’s scrutinizing gaze. 

“Mhm, what exactly did it take Rebecca?” Tommy asked as he stepped closer. His piercing blue eyes demanding an answer.

“Four whiskeys. The more I drank, the more they drank. The more they drank, the more they talked.” I replied. Tommy nodded his head. 

“Did you offer them anything else?” Tommy asked as he turned his back to me. 

“No!” I shot back defensively. “What are you implying Tommy?” I shouted as I reached out and grabbed his arm without thinking. He spun around with an unmistakable fire in his eyes. Fuck.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Going on a piss up with the fucking IRA! I told you to follow her. That was it Rebecca! Why is it so difficult for you to do what your told?” Tommy shouted. 

“They’re going to kill you Tommy!” I shouted as the hot angry tears welled up in my eyes. “You can stop worrying about the police. They won’t even get the chance to hang you!” Tommy stood silently as he absorbed my words. 

“Fuck.” Tommy muttered as he sat at the table. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand before taking the seat opposite of Tommy. 

“The woman, Mae Finney, she’s married to a man named Daniel. He owns the Black Swan-”

“You came back from Sparkbrook like this?” Tommy interrupted. His eyes revealed a hint of amusement, which conflicted with the irritation in his voice. 

“Yes. Now, as I was saying, they have connections. High up connections. I believe they intend to send the guns to the IRA in Belfast.” I said. Tommy just stared at me as the room fell into silence. “So what are we going to do?” I asked, unable to stand the silence any longer. 

“We will wait for them to make contact.” Tommy said as he pulled out a cigarette from the silver tin on the table.

“But they’ll kill you Tommy.” I said. Tommy took a long drag of his cigarette. 

“I’m not afraid to die.” He admitted. I stared at him blankly, my mind unable to process the lunacy of his words. “There was a time, in France, when me and a couple of others were cut off from the unit. We had no ammunition, no reinforcements, we were fucked. After we made it out we agreed that everything after that was extra. So you see Rebecca, I’m just a man caught between life and death.” Tommy said as his eyes drifted off. It was as if he was suddenly somewhere else. He brought the cigarette back to his lips before taking a deep inhale. 

“Tommy, why did you do it?” I asked quietly, keeping my eyes down.

“What? France?” Tommy asked. I shook my head. 

“No, Tommy.” I took a breath and looked into his piercing blue eyes. “When we first met, why did you help me?” I asked. Tommy stared at me, the smoke from his cigarette the only movement in the room. 

“Call it my better judgement.” He muttered as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. 

“Please, Tommy, just tell me the truth.” I begged as I reached across the table and took his hand. He didn’t object, he simply let my fingers intertwine with his.

“I don’t know. I just did it.” Tommy replied. I nodded my head. Quickly debating whether or not to ask the question that laid heavy on my heart. 

“Tommy, Polly came to see me in the church today. She told me about Greta.” I said as the room fell into silence once again. Tommy’s eyes didn’t waver from mine. 

“And what did she say?” Tommy asked as he removed his hand from mine.

“She said that you loved her.” I replied carefully. Tommy nodded his head. 

“That was a very long time ago.” He replied as he poured more whiskey into his glass and proceeded to down it quickly. “Everything is different now.” He said. 

“It’s terrible to lose someone you love so much.” I said. Tommy quietly nodded his head. 

“Yes it is.” Tommy said as he set his empty glass on the table. 

“You could find that again.” I said as Tommy rose from his seat.

“Perhaps, if I was a simple man. But I’m not a simple man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you all are enjoying the story so far. I can’t wait to release the next chapter! 
> 
> Leave your thoughts in the comments below!


	11. Judgement Day

Judgement Day

The door slammed shut as Tommy waltzed into the betting shop. Business for the day was complete, and only Polly remained. She was seated at the center table with a large leather bound ledger spread out in front of her. “Polly.” Tommy called as he hastily removed the cap from his head. Polly kept her head down, purposefully ignoring her nephew. “Polly!” Tommy shouted, his temper finally flaring. Polly slowly lifted her head. Her dark eyes connecting with Tommy’s blue eyes. 

“Yes, Thomas?” Polly asked as she sat back in her chair. There was a mischievous glint in her brown eyes that further aggravated Tommy. 

“I heard you went to church.” Tommy challenged as he leaned on the table. 

“Yes. Some of us still believe in a higher power.” She replied, her words dripping with defiance.

“You had no right! No right to fuck with her head!” Tommy shouted, unable to restrain himself further. Polly stood to her feet and matched Tommy’s stance. 

“You sent a child to do a grown man’s work. And since when do you care about other people getting hurt?” Polly shot back pointedly. 

“She could have said no.” Tommy deflected as he pushed off the table. 

“Is that so? And who would dare to say no to Tommy Shelby?” Polly shot back in a mocking voice. “Face it Thomas, the girl loves you. You can either bed her or use her for this plan of yours.” Polly said as she worked to light a cigarette. “If you fuck her and use her in company business you are just inviting trouble. We’ve come too far to let your cock ruin it.” Polly warned. 

“Polly, stay the fuck out of it!” Tommy warned as he pointed a finger in his aunt’s face. Polly rolled her eyes; knowing full well that it would further irritate her nephew. 

“It’s company business. I’m company treasurer, therefore it is my fucking business Thomas! I told you to get rid of those guns, but no, you had a brilliant idea. I swear to god, if you fuck this up you will have more to fear than the rope.” Polly shot back as Tommy stormed out the door. Polly sat back in her chair and continued smoking her cigarette. “Men and their fucking cocks.” She muttered as she went back to work. 

 

Tommy stormed through the doors of the Garrison and strode right up to the bar. His eyes were burning with anger when they connected with mine. 

“Tommy.” I greeted as my smile faded. His anger was palpable, and it was setting the entire room on edge. By the time Harry placed a whisky in front of him, he was barely maintaining a cool exterior. 

“Get your things. Come on. You’re coming with me.” He ordered gruffly as he set the empty glass on the counter. I briefly looked to Harry who nodded me toward the door. Tommy continued aggressively puffing on his cigarette as he waited for me gather my things. His left hand pressed firmly against my back as we stepped into the night. 

“Tommy, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” I asked as he pushed us on.

“It’s business Rebecca.” He said as we turned toward Charlie’s yard. By the time we arrived, I was beginning to feel edgy. 

“Tommy, tell me what’s going on.” I demanded as I attempted to examin his tired face. 

“Fuck, Rebecca. You and your questions.” Tommy hissed as he rubbed his hands across his face. “There are certain things that must be understood between us.” He started. 

“Yes?” I baited.

“I am not a simple man. There is no part of me that wants a simple life.” Tommy said. I crossed my arms and shot him a look of annoyance. 

“Alright… what’s your point Tommy?” I asked as my irritation began to grow.

“We would never work. All this talk of love and -” Laughter erupted from my lips. 

“You can’t be serious.” I managed between chuckles. Tommy’s eyes flashed with rage. 

“Rebecca, I swear to god.” Tommy threatened. 

“What? You’ll cut me? For challenging Tommy fucking almighty?” I shot back as my face hardened. Tommy took hold of both my arms and pushed me until my back connected into the brick wall. “Do it Tommy! I fucking dare you!” 

“Don’t you fucking fight me!” Tommy yelled as he waved a finger in my face. 

“I’m not! You’re fighting yourself Tommy!” I shouted back. Tommy’s eyes were full of rage but he made no further moves of aggression. “I can see it Tommy. The man you were and the devil you are now. You’re the boss. You give the orders and everyone obeys. You don’t know how to be anyone else. You wouldn’t dare try because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that if you stop for one fucking second you would have to feel the pain. So you know what Tommy, I think you do want a simple life.” There was something new hidden in his fierce blue eyes; something I couldn’t exactly pin down. Tommy stepped back and released my arms from his vice grip. 

“Who the fuck are you?” He asked as he turned his back on me and faced the canal. I pushed off the wall and stood at his side. The small flame illuminating his sharp facial features as he brought the match to the end of his cigarette.

“I don’t know yet. But I’m not who I used to be.” I said, which brought a chuckle to Tommy’s lips. 

“God fucking help us all.” He muttered as he continued smoking his cigarette. 

“Goodnight Tommy.” I said as I turned to leave. 

“Goodnight Rebecca.” Tommy called. 

 

It was nearly closing time when I left the yard, so instead of returning to help Harry close up I turned toward home. I was two streets from the lodging house when I heard the click of shoes behind. I continued on, hoping I would make it home before whoever was following me was able to make their first move. But the clicking of the shoes grew closer and closer with every passing moment. I slipped my hand into my purse and cocked the revolver. When the stranger put their hand on my shoulder I turned on my heel and pointed the gun in their face. 

“Aedan?” My chest continuing to rise and fall at a rapid rate. 

“It’s good to see you Rebecca.” Aedan said as he pushed the barrel of my gun aside. I let the gun drop to my side, but my finger remained on the trigger. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked. His sudden arrival and current proximity elevated my anxiety to a new level. Even with a loaded gun I felt no more confident facing Aedan than I did before. 

“When they said a woman named Rebecca had made contact in Birmingham, I couldn’t believe it. I had to come see it myself.” Aedan said as he flashed a smile. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied. Aedan chuckled as he took another step forward and reached out to touch my face. “If you touch me I will fucking shoot you Aedan.” I threatened as I flashed the gun at him again. Aedan retracted his hand, but his confident grin remained plastered to his face. 

“Rebecca, you’ve always been too spirited for your own good.” Aedan observed. 

“Fuck off Aedan.” I spat. 

“Fuck off Aedan.” He mocked.

“I swear Aedan! I will bring holy hell down on your head if you don’t fuck off.” I threatened. 

“Alright, alright. Fine. But I’ll be in touch.” Aedan said as he backed away with his hands raised in a mocking surrender. A confident smirk spread across his face as he turned. I briefly thought about shooting him in the back, but the risk of being caught was far too high. It was a price I wasn’t willing to pay. I had tasted true freedom, and it was not something I was willing to give up over a bastard like Aedan. When he finally disappeared from sight I turned and continued home. 

I barely slept the entire night. Every time I closed my eyes images of Aedan flashed across my mind. By the time morning light finally kissed the sky, I was already prepared for the day. First, I set out toward Watery Lane to find Tommy. I still had no idea what I was going to tell him, but I knew that I couldn’t take out Aedan on my own. I knocked on the door of number 6 Watery Lane with all my might. Tommy usually drank into the early morning hours, and if I was to wake him I would need to be loud about it. 

“Tommy!” I called out after a couple dozen knocks yielded no response. “Tommy Shelby!” I yelled again. Suddenly the door swung open revealing a tired and exasperated Polly. A silk robe hung from her thin frame, and her hair was disheveled from a night of sleep. 

“What the fuck do you want at this hour?” Polly snapped. 

“I need to talk to Tommy. It’s urgent.” I said with as much courage as I could muster. 

“Tommy’s not here.” Polly replied. 

“Do you know where I could find him?” I asked.

“Do I look like his keeper?” Polly asked sarcastically. 

“Fuck.” I muttered under my breath. “If you see him would you tell him I need to speak with him? It’s urgent.” I said. Polly smirked. 

“You already said that.” She said before shutting the door in my face. I let out a sharp exhale. Tommy’s absence left me with only two options: formulate my own plan to take down Aedan or hide out until Tommy came to me. I decided on the later of the two. 

 

The day turned to night, and still there was no sign of Tommy. Harry could tell that something was amiss, but I refused to tell him why. I insisted it was for his own safety, which wasn’t entirely a lie. But my excuses did little to lessen his concern. It was half past eight by the time Tommy, Arthur, and John finally strode through the door. I shot Tommy an urgent look; hoping he’d look my way, but he was too engrossed in conversation with Arthur.

“Harry, I’ll just be a minute.” I said as I moved toward the snug. I opened the door without knocking. Every nerve in my body was frayed and I couldn’t wait any longer. “Tommy.” I called as I strode over to the table. His blue eyes connecting with mine instantly. Sensing the tension in my body and urgency of my voice, all three brothers sat up straight. “Tommy we have a problem. The IRA made contact last night. They know who I am and they know where I live.” I blurted out as the tears began to collect in my eyes. Tommy quickly stood to his feet and rounded the table. He held my face with both hands as he tried to examine my eyes further. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He asked. 

“What’s this about the fucking IRA Tommy?” Arthur asked. I could hear the angry rumble deep in Arthur’s voice but I couldn’t focus on it at the time. 

“I couldn’t find you. I went to the shop this morning and Polly told me you weren’t there.” I replied, my voice thick with panic. “Tommy, I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I confessed. 

“Tommy! What about the IRA?” Arthur demanded again. 

“Rebecca O’Neill!” A voice bellowed from beyond the door. I looked to Tommy with eyes full of fear.

“Shit. How did he find me?” I whispered. 

“Who?” Arthur demanded as he stood to his feet and pulled out his gun. 

“Arthur, I will explain later.” Tommy said as he looked to his brother momentarily. “You stay here. Lock the door and do not come out no matter how bad it gets out there. You open the door for one of us only. You understand?” Tommy warned sternly. I nodded my head as I blinked back tears. Tommy, Arthur, and John strode out of the snug to a silent crowd of confused patrons and one very angry Irishman. Aedan turned toward the Shelby brothers who were already sizing him up. 

“Everyone go home. Now!” Tommy ordered. Aedan’s eyes locked on Tommy. “What can we do for you?” Tommy asked once the room cleared.

“Aedan Byrne. I’m looking for Rebecca O’Neill. I heard that she works here.” Aedan responded confidently. Arthur and John stepped away from Tommy to further surround Aedan. 

“I’m afraid you just missed her, so why don’t you tell us what business you have with our Rebecca?” Tommy said as he lit a cigarette between his lips. Aedan scoffed at Tommy’s confidence. 

“We have unfinished business.” Aedan said. Tommy smirked and flashed Arthur a confident look. 

“Like I said, just missed her.” Tommy said. Aedan stepped closer to Tommy, which caused both John and Arthur to step closer. But Tommy held up his hand to alert his brothers to the fact that he intended to deal with Aedan himself. 

“She’s in that room, isn’t she?” Aedan asked as he motioned to the snug door Tommy was guarding. I knew that Aedan’s smart mouth was going to get him killed. Tommy needed little more than that as an excuse to kill him. I couldn’t let him die having the upper hand on me. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath. I slowly opened the door, only to find Tommy’s back. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy warned. He put his left hand out and caught my waist in an attempt to shield me. 

“Hello Rebecca.” Aedan taunted as he smiled down at me. Swiftly, John and Arthur aimed their guns at Aedan. 

“No!” I yelled. Arthur shot me a confused look, and then looked to Tommy who nodded in agreement with me. 

“Oh, I see.” Aedan chuckled as I stepped forward. “Saint Rebecca going to spare my life?” He mocked. 

“No.” I said through my gritted teeth. “This is your judgement day Aedan. May God spit you out and deliver you straight into the hands of the devil himself.” Aedan smiled. 

“That’s cute Rebecca. How long did it take you to come up with that one?” Aedan scoffed. I didn’t hear the gun fire until the bullet whizzed over my right shoulder. The ringing in my ear brought me to my knees. My hand flying up to my right ear as the painful ringing continued. Aedan fell to the ground beside me with a single bullet wound to the head. I felt the bile begin to rise in my throat but I fought it. I turned back to look at Tommy who was already holstering his gun. I struggled, but eventually made it to my feet despite the persistent ringing in my ear that threatened to pull me back to the ground. When I found my balance I looked down at Aedan’s lifeless body. 

“Go to hell Aedan.” I spat as I cradled my throbbing ear.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Tommy said as he came up behind me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my favorite chapter to write thus far. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!


	12. The Good Old IRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in my update. I was suffering from writers block and then was away on vacation. Anyways, here is a BIG chapter for you to enjoy.

The Good Old IRA

One week. One week since Aedan’s cursed soul left the earth. At first, I couldn’t feel anything, I was in utter shock. My childhood friend turned tormentor was dead. Relief washed over me like a flood as soon as the bullet pierced his skin. It was afterwards, once I was alone, that the fear returned. Killing Aedan wasn’t an end. It meant war. There would be revenge. 

Tommy didn’t ask any questions about Aedan, but I could tell that something had changed between us. He had returned to his aloof and hardened self; effectively shutting me out. I could tell that he had questions. Questions that he would eventually demand be answered. I felt trapped by the questions that had not yet been asked. Maybe tonight would be the night. The night Tommy would demand answers. I sighed quietly to myself and continued on toward the Garrison. I smiled at a woman and her young daughter as we passed each other on the street. I was thankful for her smile. My week had been filled with dark eyes, tears, and solemn smiles. 

“Get off me!” I shouted as soon as I felt the small pair of hands wrap around me. I blindly swatted at the perpetrator as I was pulled into the alley.

“Eh! Stop it! Rebecca, it’s only me. It’s Mae!” The red head cried out. I took in a deep breath and relaxed my arms at my side. 

“Fucking hell, Mae. You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.” I scolded. 

“How else was I supposed to find you?” Mae said as she caught her breath. 

“Why not just come to the Garrison?” I asked with a slight annoyance in my voice. 

“No. It would be too risky.” Mae said as she shook her head. 

“Risky? Mae what are you on about?” I asked. 

“Didn’t someone make contact?” Mae pressed. Fuck.

“No.” I stuttered. “Mae, what’s all of this about?” I asked. 

“Shit. It’s worse than I thought.” Mae said as she pulled out a cigarette and fumbled to light it. 

“Damn it Mae. Tell me!” I insisted. Finally, Mae succeeded in lighting her cigarette and took a desperate puff before responding. 

“Fuck. I knew the Shelby’s killed him. Gypsy bastards.” Mae muttered quietly to herself. She turned her eyes back to me. It was as if she had forgotten that I was standing right in front of her. “Rebecca, we need you.” Mae said.

“Need me? But why? For what?” I asked. 

“We need you to bring Thomas Shelby to us. This Friday evening at the dance hall just down the way from The Black Swan.” Mae explained. I shot her a confused look.

“And what makes you think I can convince Tommy Shelby to do anything? The man’s head is as hard as a rock.” I replied. Mae smirked as she inhaled the smoke. 

“I don’t care how you do it. Fuck him if you have to. Whatever it takes. You just need to get him there. Alone. No brothers.” Mae pushed. 

“I’ll try.” I replied reluctantly.

“Good! Bring your dancing shoes. You still remember how to dance, don’t you?” Mae asked as she flashed me a quick smile before disappearing. I stood alone in the alley for a moment attempting to process all that had just occurred. Is this the meeting we had been waiting for? Would the IRA take revenge on Tommy for killing Aedan? Did they know Tommy had killed Aedan? Fuck. I took off down the street in a jog. If I was lucky, I would make it to the betting shop before Tommy left.

Tommy was seated at his desk looking over paperwork when he heard the front door open. He silently curse John for his carelessness. He must have forgotten to lock the door as he hurried home to his pretty new wife. As the footsteps neared, Tommy quickly stood to his feet and pulled out his revolver. He stepped out of his office with his gun pointed at the approaching footsteps. 

“Jesus Christ Tommy! It’s just me!” I cried out as I raised my hands. Tommy took a deep breath and lowered the revolver. 

“Why didn’t you fucking say anything? I could have killed you.” Tommy scolded as he holstered his gun. 

“And let Polly know I’m here? I would rather you shot me dead.” I replied sarcastically. 

“Come on.” Tommy said as he motioned me toward his office. “Sit.” He said as he dropped into his seat. I looked around at the heaps of unorganized paperwork atop the desk, while Tommy picked up his glass of whiskey and the smoldering cigarette that was left in the ashtray. “So to what do I owe the late night intrusion?” Tommy asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“I ran into Mae Finney just now. She wants to meet you this Friday.” I said. Tommy took a sip from his glass before returning the cigarette to his lips. His blue eyes had connected with mine as soon as I sat down, but now they were piercing into my soul in the most uncomfortable way. 

“Mhm… And why would Mae Finney want to meet with me?” Tommy replied as he confidently relaxed back into his chair. I rolled my eyes; Tommy’s arrogant, confidence was amazing. Amazingly agrivating. 

“Tommy, please.” I groaned in annoyance. “She asked about Aedan.” I said as my voice trailed off. Tommy shot me a knowing look. Fuck. Here it comes. 

“Aedan.” Tommy muttered under his breath. 

“Please Tommy.” I begged. Tommy stood and moved to pour himself another glass of whiskey. “This isn’t just about guns anymore. We need to come up with a plan. They intend to kill you or have you forgotten?” I pressed. Tommy turned, his blue eyes locking with mine as he slowly approached me. 

“No.” 

“No what Tommy?” I shot back. Tommy loomed over me, trapping me in the chair. I pressed myself against the back of the chair, as I suddenly felt the need to create some space between us. 

“You are keeping secrets Rebecca O’Neill. I will not trust my life to someone who keeps secrets.” Tommy threatened. My knuckles turned white as my grip tightened on the chair. 

“Then ask the question Tommy.” I replied through my teeth. 

“Who is Aedan Byrne?” Tommy asked, his voice more pointed than I had ever heard it before. 

“I knew him from back home in Dublin.” I replied. Tommy’s eyes continued to search mine for more information. 

“And?” He asked, sensing there was more to the story.

“And that’s all that you need to know.” I shot back. The room fell into silence as Tommy contemplated my sharp response. 

“Where exactly did they propose we have this little meeting?” Tommy asked as he stood up right and returned to his seat behind the desk. I was taken aback by Tommy’s retreat. He never backed down, but this time he took my word. He trusted me, which only made me feel more guilty for lying to him. It wasn’t really a lie. It was just my business. Tommy didn’t need to know. 

“At a dance hall in Sparkbrook.” I replied as I shifted in my chair. 

“Well, I hope you can dance.” Tommy said as he flashed me an annoyingly confident smirk. I shook my head in disbelief. 

“It is you who ought to be nervous Thomas Shelby. We Irish are very good dancers.” I replied. Tommy smirked as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. 

“I’ll have you know, Rebecca O’Neill, we Gypsies are very good dancer. ” Tommy said as he leaned on his desk. His eyes lightening to match the playfulness of his tone. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it Tommy.” I teased which made Tommy’s eyes flicker with amusement. He discarded his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk before rising to his feet. As he rounded his desk he extended his hand to me. I looked from his face to his hand and then back again. “What?” I asked. 

“Dance with me.” Tommy said as his piercing blue eyes softened. I hesitated for a moment. My mind flashing back to the disaster that ensued the first time I had let Tommy get close. But what harm was there in a stupid dance? I placed my hand in his and stood to my feet. 

“We don’t have any music.” I said as Tommy placed his hand on my waist. 

“Good dancers don’t need music.” Tommy said as he began to sway us back and forth. It felt awkward to be dancing without any music, but Tommy’s smooth movements lulled those thoughts from my head. He used his right hand to bring me in closer as we continued our silent dance. I looked up, and was instantly captivated by the handsome man staring back at me. His usual cocky, callused mask had faded to a much softer version of the Tommy Shelby I had come to know. I could have stayed in that moment forever, and in my heart it was what I wanted; but the terrible ending to Cheltenham made me think better of it. 

“I have to go. Harry will be expecting me.” I stuttered as I broke away from Tommy. We stood there for a moment; each of us examining one another in a whole new light. “Goodnight Tommy.” I said as I gathered my purse and hurried out of Tommy’s office. As soon as it had come on, the feeling was gone. Tommy said so himself, it could never work. 

 

By the time Friday arrived I was a bundle of nerves. Although I would never admit it to Tommy, I was afraid. We had limited information about the event, which made formulating a plan nearly impossible. I couldn’t go asking for information because it would be too suspicious, and the IRA was far too guarded for anyone to infiltrate their ranks with less than a week’s notice. 

“Tommy, this is a bad idea.” I whispered. As the upbeat Irish music flooded my ears a smile tugged at my lips. But any shred of happiness faded the moment I saw the armed men standing outside the dance hall. Sensing my hesitation, Tommy put his hand on my back and pushed me on. 

“Relax.” Tommy instructed. 

“It’s hard to relax with a-” 

“Rebecca, shut up.” Tommy scolded me as we approached the men guarding the door. 

“We don’t allow non-Irish. Get out of here you Gypsy scum!” The red haired man in front of us said as the cigar hung from his mouth. Tommy shot the man a dangerous glare, which further fueled the brutish man’s rage. 

“Easy Darragh.” Mae Finney said as she emerged from the party with a beer in her hand. Her vibrant green dress clung to her curvy figure, which distracted Darragh’s attention from Tommy for long enough for the tension to dissipate. “Rebecca, how good of you to join us. We’ve been expecting you.” She said with a smile. I returned a small smile, but did not feel the least bit at ease. 

“Hello Mae.” I greeted politely. 

“Darragh, let Rebecca and her guest come through.” Mae ordered as she eyed Tommy harshly. I could sense the tension brewing between them. Tommy craved control and hated defiant women. Mae knew that and I could tell she was determined to use it to get under his skin.

“Thank you Mae. Come on Tommy.” I said as I took Tommy’s hand and drug him up the stairs. 

“Wait!” Darragh yelled just as I crossed the threshold. I groaned and reluctantly turned back to the red haired man. He took another step toward Tommy; their eyes once again locked in a heated battle of will. “No weapons allowed. We have to check. Don’t mind do ya, Mr. Shelby?” Darragh mocked as he gave Tommy a nasty glare. Tommy’s eye twitched with rage as he held both his arms out for a full pat down. For a man who was used to absolute control it must have been exasperating to take such humiliation. Fortunately, we both knew they would strip Tommy of any weapons. “Alright.” Darragh said as he nodded his head toward the party. Mae gave me a silent nod as we passed her on our way inside. The main room was packed with dancers and even more who watched from the sides. 

“Shall we?” Tommy asked as he extended his hand to me. I gave him a small smile and nodded. 

“Yes.” I agreed as I placed my hand in his. Tommy navigated through the crowd of people to get us on the dance floor. Tommy didn’t blend in, not even a little bit, which attracted attention from many people early on. I took a deep breath as Tommy quickly fell into step with the other couples dancing. Now the Gypsy bookmaker from Birmingham and a woman from Dublin were the center of attention. It didn’t seem to bother Tommy in the slightest. Why would it? The man loved attention, even if it was for the wrong reasons. His cool confident mask was perfectly in place when he looked down and caught a glimpse of the concern written all over my face. 

“Smile.” Tommy coaxed as he leaned in to my ear. I smiled as the heat of his breath grazed my neck. Despite the prying eyes and looming danger of the IRA; I relaxed into Tommy and tried to enjoy myself. The people standing on the perimeter faded from my mind as I focused on the handsome man looking back at me.

“Mr. Shelby. There is someone who would like you to meet.” Mae said as she appeared at my side; her invitation having brought our dance to a premature end. Tommy stepped away and nodded his head cuing Mae to proceed. He looked back me for a minute as he followed Mae off the dancefloor and disappeared into the crowd. Mae and Tommy quickly left the party through a door on the far end of the room. Once the door closed behind them, I left the dancefloor and followed behind. The further I traveled down the hallway, the more the upbeat music faded from my ears. The floor was damp from the moisture that was seeping down the walls. The smell of wet foul water overwhelmed my noise as I crept closer to the door at the end of the hall. The warm light from underneath the door provided enough light for me to know where I was headed. I pressed my ear to the door as my hand instinctually landed on the doorknob. All that I could make out was muffled voices through the closed door. I held my breath as I slowly turned the knob, praying the door wouldn’t creak. Thankfully, it opened without so much as a whisper. As I kneeled down and peered discretely through the cracked door I saw Tommy and two others seated at a table. My eyes came to rest on Mae and the other man – Byrne. Aedan was bad, but his uncle Malacki was far worse. My stomach churned as bile rose up into the back of my throat. My heart pounded at a rapid rate as thoughts of my mother surfaced in my mind. 

“Fuck.” I muttered quietly. My hands began to shake as the panic set in. 

“Where are the guns?” Byrne asked. His thick Irish accent further confirming his identity. 

“That depends. Where’s the money?” Tommy replied with his usual degree of cool confidence. Mae pulled out a pile of bills and set them on the table. Tommy reached out toward the stack of money, but Byrne placed his hand protectively over the top of the stack.

“Where are the guns Mr. Shelby?” Byrne pressed. Tommy cocked his head confidently before proceeding.

“The guns are buried under the cross of a Mr. Daniel Owen.” Tommy replied. Byrne released the pile of money and settled back in his chair. 

“Did you think we would let you live?” Mae mocked as a devilish grin spread across her face. She pulled a revolver from under the table and pointed it at Tommy. Fuck. Why wasn’t Tommy doing anything?

“Well Mr. Shelby. It seems our business here is done.” Byrne said. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had no idea if Mae would hesitate in killing Tommy, but I knew that Byrne certainly wouldn’t. I pulled the gun out of the holster under my skirt and stepped into the room with my gun raised. Without hesitation I pulled the trigger, striking Mae once in the chest. The blood stain spread across her green dress as she slumped to the floor. I turned my gun on Byrne, but the trigger jammed. Byrne smirked as he quickly stood and pulled his own revolver. Tommy turned the table over, stalling Byrne, and buying me time to fire again. I fumbled with the hammer, eventually hearing it click again but my opportunity was gone. Tommy and Byrne were now fully engaged in a bloody fist fight. If I pulled the trigger now I would undoubtedly hit Tommy too. Byrne shoved Tommy into the wall, knocking the air from his lungs and causing him to grunt in pain. Byrne turned his attention to me, a sickening grin appearing on his face as he pulled the trigger without any hesitation. The bullet pierced my skin, the force of it sending me to the floor with a thud. Tommy charged at Byrne and knocked the gun from his hand. Tommy locked Byrne’s head in his elbow and squeezing hard, in an attempt to subdue him. In a matter of seconds, Byrne’s body fell limp from the lack of oxygen. Leaving nothing to chance, Tommy took my gun and fired a single shot point blank into Byrne’s head. 

“Tommy,” I muttered weakly. Tommy knelt beside me and quickly examining the bullet wound. His eyes fixed on the red stain on the shoulder of my white shirt. “It hurts.” I said as I attempted to sit up so that I could look at it.

“No, don’t touch it.” Tommy said as he moved my hand away from my shoulder. “Let me see.” Tommy said. He picked up my arm, causing a searing pain to travel up and down my arm. 

“Ah!” I cried out in pain. I bit down on my lower lip hard in an attempting not to cry. 

“It went straight through. You’ll be alright.” Tommy reassured me as he tucked the gun into his waistband. He pulled out his handkerchief and pressed it into the wound causing me to cry out in pain again. He slowly brought me to a seated position in an effort to get me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to my feet. “Come on. We can’t stay here.” Tommy said as he helped me to the door. 

“How are we going to get out of here? I’m a bloody mess.” I asked as my head spun causing me to lean even more heavily on Tommy. My shoulder was throbbing and it required all of my strength just to keep from crying out in pain. 

“Trust me.” Tommy said as he stopped to shed his coat. He draped it over my shoulders, effectively covering the blood stain on my shirt. But the weight of the fabric sent another sharp pain down my arm. I couldn’t help but hissed as Tommy scooped me up and held me against his chest. “Close your eyes. If anyone asks I’ll tell them you’ve had too much to drink.” He instructed. The lively music faded in as we reemerged at the party. As we moved through the crowd, I prayed no one would notice us. Based on the noise, I could only assume that the majority of the crowd was now drunk. Even the guards had joined the party, which made our exit easier than anticipated. As we made our way back to Small Heath, the throbbing in my arm intensified. Finally, the pain overcame the adrenaline as I slipped into unconsciousness. 

 

“Come on, we need to clean that.” Tommy’s words pulled me from my sleep. I opened my eyes to find a dark and deserted Garrison. Tommy lowered me to a chair before moving behind the bar. “This will hurt.” Tommy warned as he grabbed a bottle from behind the bar and brought it back. I looked up at him in disbelief. The notion was fucking barbaric, but something told me that Tommy knew what he was doing when it came to bullet wounds. “You’ll need to take the shirt off.” Tommy said. I fumbled with the buttons using my only good hand. Tommy took a drink from the bottle as I continued my struggle with the buttons. As my shirt slipped from my shoulders Tommy’s eyes drifted downward, but this time I didn’t care that he looked. I was in too much pain to care. Tommy cleared his throat and offered me the bottle. I took a quick drink before passing it back to him. He leaned in and took hold of my uninjured shoulder. “Ready?” Tommy asked. I nodded my head and closed my eyes tight. Tommy pressed the bottle firmly against my wound causing a cry of pain to escape my gritted teeth. When Tommy turned in search of a suitable bandage a single tear rolled down my face. I looked down at my shaking hand. The adrenaline once again flowing through my veins. I desperately wanted to give into the flurry of emotion I was feeling, but told myself it would have to wait. I opened my eyes again when I heard Tommy’s footsteps returning. He wrapped the bandage around my arm and shoulder. His gentle care was surprising given everything that had transpired. “Here, drink this. It’ll take the edge off.” Tommy muttered as he passed me a glass full of clear liquid. I tipped the glass back without hesitation. The liquid burned terribly, but it settled my nerves almost instantly. 

“What do you think will happened to them?” I asked referring to Mae and Byrne. 

“I’ll have the police sort them out.” Tommy said as he helped me to my feet and offered his coat. I held it closed with my uninjured hand as Tommy directed me toward the door. The mixture of alcohol and adrenaline left me in a daze of emotional confusion. It made for a silent walk back to the lodging house. From the way Tommy was aggressively smoking, I could only assume he was just as unsettled as I was. As much as I hoped it was all over, the expanding pit in my stomach told me that this night was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading and leaving comments. Much appreciated!


	13. The Devil Inside Her

The Devil Inside Her

When we arrived at the lodging house there was no one behind the desk, which I was extremely grateful for. I took to the stairs, the sound of Tommy’s boots echoing behind me as I made my way to my room. I dug the key from my coat pocket before turning the lock and opening the door. Tommy slipped in behind me before quietly closing the door. He removed his cap and discarded it on the chair near the door. I stared at him, unsure as to why he had followed me all the way into my bedroom. 

“Why’d you shoot?” Tommy asked as he stood in the middle of the floor with his hands shoved deep in his waistcoat pockets. I shook my head as the tears came my eyes and overflowed onto my face. 

“She was going to kill you.” I replied before a sob escaped my mouth. Tommy shook his head. 

“Don’t lie to me. Why did you shoot?” Tommy asked again as he approached me. I shook my head, silently begging him not to make me answer. His hand grasped the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair as he brought me closer. I could tell from his eyes that he wasn’t angry, there was no fire behind them, but they begged an answer. “Tell me.” He repeated. 

“The IRA killed my mother.” I confessed. Tommy looked at me in utter disbelief. “Byrne slit her throat.” I managed before my voice broke. For the first time I saw true sadness in Tommy’s eyes. 

“Byrne killed your mother.” Tommy repeated over and over again. His jaw squared in anger as he turned away. 

“My mother died because I refused a marriage proposal from Byrne’s nephew, Aedan.” I confessed. Tommy spun on his heel. “I was afraid so I ran. God, I should have just married him.” I shouted as the tears continued to cascade down my face. Tommy shook his head as he closed the gap between us. He lifted my chin with his hand, bringing our eyes together. 

“There it is Rebecca. The truth.” Tommy said quietly as he brought me in to a kiss. The sadness and heartache faded away until all that was left was blissful expectation. My head began to swim as my heart continued to pound in my chest. I used my uninjured arm to softly separate us. 

“Tommy,” I breathed. 

“What?” He asked as he tried to catch his breath. “Do you want to stop?”

“No,” I shook my head. Tommy’s lips crashed against mine before I had the chance to speak another word. This kiss was more passionate than the one before. He swiftly slipped his coat from my shoulders, allowing it to fall to the ground around our feet. His fingers brushed against my skin as he removed my bloody shirt, being careful not to touch my injured shoulder. I let out a groan as I lifted my arms in an attempt to unbutton Tommy’s shirt. My left arm dropping to my side as another pain shot through it. 

“Don’t. You’ll open it again.” He said as he stepped back and began to remove his shirt. It fluttered towards the floor as he quickly shrugged his undershirt over his head. I examined his bare chest, noting the tattoos and old scars before Tommy closed the gap between us once again. He leaned in and continued our kiss. His hands traveled to my waist, before reaching for the button in the back of my skirt. I turned, allowing him to free me from the heavy material. My skirt fell to the floor, leaving me in my slightly bloody cream slip. He took to unbuttoning his trousers before swiftly kicking his shoes towards the corner. Then he turned back, taking the time to look me up and down. This time he lingered on the areas he admired most. His body revealing his genuine appreciation for what he saw. He leaned in to kiss me again, his arms encircling my waist, as I reached up with my uninjured hand to hold his face. He slowly leaned me back onto the bed, and without breaking our kiss he laid me back with the weight of his body. I could scarcely think as his lips traveled to the sensitive skin on my neck. He held me up with one hand while the other pulled the strings of my brassiere. His eyes locking with mine as he untied the strings, waiting for a sign of hesitation. I pulled him back into a crushing kiss as his hands moved to my underwear. My heart was pounding so hard it felt as if it would burst from my chest. 

“You’re sure you want this?” Tommy asked as some of the longer strands of his hair fell into his eyes. I nodded my head. “I need to hear you say it Rebecca.” Tommy insisted. I gazed into his fierce blue eyes. This would be my last chance to change my mind. I thought briefly of the consequences, but one realization came to the forefront of my mind – I loved him. 

“Yes.” I replied without another thought. Tommy nodded his head, before reaching down and positioned himself. 

“It’ll hurt, but not for long.” Tommy reassured me. As he entered me, I gasped feeling the pain he described. I bit down on my lip, suppressing the groan that threatened to leave my lips. Just as Tommy promised, it only took a moment for the pain to subside. Looking up into his beautiful eyes, I nodded cuing him to continue. The sensations grew more intense as he continued to move and kiss me in unison. I let a soft moan escape as Tommy’s pace increased, which brought a satisfied smirk to his lips. I felt my body clamp down hard around him as the ecstasy overtook me. A moment later, Tommy groaned softly against my lips as I felt him twitch inside of me. After his breathing recovered, he rolled off of me and laid beside me. I curled in towards him, laying my head on his chest. I smiled when I felt his fingers lightly brushing through my hair. 

“You were right.” I said quietly. 

“About what?” Tommy asked. 

“The pain was only temporary.” I replied as I shifted myself so I could look him in the eye. 

“If only that were true of life.” Tommy muttered softly. I touched his face lightly with my fingertips, feeling the need to ease his pain somehow. “Would you help me?” He asked. 

“What?” I asked.

“You’ve had a rough go at life and somehow you found your way to me. I think we can help each other.” Tommy replied quietly. I answered him with a gentle kiss, not knowing what he truly meant by his statement. I laid back in his arms and closed my eyes. Sleep was not difficult to find that night, the sound of Tommy’s heartbeat lulling me to sleep.

The next morning the bright sun slowly pulled me from my dreams. When my eyes opened I found a sleeping Tommy beside me, his arm still lightly wrapped around my middle. I shifted slowly, trying not to wake Tommy, but the shooting pain in my arm stopped me. 

“Fuck.” I hissed as my right hand flew towards the pain in my left shoulder. Tommy shot up in bed, his blue eyes quickly scanning the room frantically. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked as his eyes settled on mine.

“Shit. I’m bleeding.” I muttered as I looked down at the bloody bandage around my shoulder. Tommy smirked as his eyes traveled my bare chest. 

“You were shot. Remember?” He muttered as he pulled me closer to him. The warmth of his lips returned to the sensitive skin on my neck. The sensation brought a soft smile to my lips. 

“Yes, I remember everything.” I breathed as I looked at the handsome man beside me.


	14. Questions

Questions  
Summer 1920

Tommy stood in the garage, his eyes aimlessly fixated on his shiny black car. The flames billowed from the furnace in the factory across the street and illuminated Tommy’s reflection in the shiny black paint job. He brought his cigarette back to his lips and took a long drag in an attempt to quell his growing annoyance with waiting. The sound of approaching boots brought Tommy’s mind back to the task at hand. As the uniformed police officer approached the entrance of the garage Tommy turned to greet his invited guest. “Moss,” Tommy muttered before taking another inhale on his cigarette. Moss ducked into the garage. His eyes drifting back behind him once more to ensure none of his colleagues were nearby. 

“Mr. Shelby,” Moss replied cautiously. Moss’s nerves brought a fleeting glimmer of amusement to Tommy’s face. Being summoned by the Peaky Blinders was never a good thing, and as a police officer, Moss was even more fearful. The Peaky Blinders historically only needed the police for two things – covering up heinous crimes and cash bribes in exchange for information.

“I have a proposition for you Sergeant Moss.” Tommy said. 

“I don’t know what I can do for you Mr. Shelby.” Moss replied nervously. Tommy cracked a smirk as he relished Moss’s extreme discomfort. He was in total control, and he loved it. 

“You have become very close with Inspector Campbell since his arrival in Birmingham. Now, I believe that you could be very useful to my operation Sergeant Moss.” Tommy said as he approached Moss. “I propose you help me deal with Inspector Campbell. And of course, you will be compensated.” Tommy said as he slipped Moss a creased bill. Moss carefully opened the bill in his hands; his eyes widening at the sum of money he now possessed.

“That’s very kind of you Mr. Shelby.” Moss replied casually as he pocketed the bill. 

“First, I want you to tell me why Inspector Campbell is overseeing an investigation that belongs to Gloucestershire Police.” Tommy demanded. His icy glare was unwavering as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. Tommy was still irritated that Campbell managed to blindside him earlier in the day when he was summoned for questioning regarding the attempted murder of Billy Kimber. 

“I can’t say anything that is for certain Mr. Shelby. The Inspector is a very guarded man. I can only assume it was because your name came up in the investigation conducted by Gloucestershire Police.” Moss replied. Tommy nodded his head as he pursed his lips together. 

“I am well aware.” Tommy replied as he discarded his spent cigarette. “What I need to know is what does Inspector Campbell stand to gain in all of this.” Tommy demanded as he glared at Moss. Moss diverted his eyes from Tommy’s intense gaze while he considered his next words carefully. 

“You can image Mr. Churchill’s displeasure with Inspector Campbell’s lack of results. It’s been months and still has yet to recover as much as a shell casing.” Moss replied. Tommy’s eyes narrowed as the clues began to fall into place. Campbell intended to blackmail Tommy into turning over the guns. Campbell would be a hero and be rewarded with a one way ticket out of Birmingham. 

“I’ll be in touch.” Tommy said as he turned to leave. 

“Mr. Shelby!” Moss called out, which stopped Tommy in his tracks. Tommy let out a sharp exhale before returning to where Sergeant Moss stood. “That lovely barmaid, what’s her name?” Moss asked. 

“Rebecca.” Tommy replied quickly. His blue eyes flashing as he searched Moss’s face for more information. 

“Yes, Rebecca. Campbell wants to hear her side of the story. I recommend you bring her in rather than us have to arrest her.” Moss said. Tommy looked from side to side, taking care not to drop his guard. 

“Thank you Sergeant Moss.” Tommy said as he turned and made his way toward the Garrison.

 

Inside the Garrison it was a usual night. We were full up to the rafters with boisterous men drinking their hard earned money away. My arm had tired within the first hour of serving customers, which placed the brunt of the work on Harry’s back. I did my best to keep up, but there was only so much I could do with one functional arm. When Tommy pushed through the door I couldn’t contain the stupid smile that took over my face. Tommy’s blue eyes connected with mine briefly as he motioned me to follow him into the snug. I quickly handed a patron his drink before following Tommy into in the snug. He closed the door before taking out his cigarette case and working to light the cigarette between his lips. His eyes and face were devoid of emotion, but his squared shoulders revealed the tension he was obviously feeling. His silence only fueling my own anxiety.

“We have a problem.” He said as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. Instantly, my heart dropped into my stomach. 

“Yes?” I asked hesitantly. 

“The police want to talk to you about Kimber.” Tommy said before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. 

“I can’t go to the police.” I stammered. My mind raced through the memories of my mother’s death, to my abrupt departure from Ireland, to Kimber, and then the shooting a week prior. 

“You can, and you will.” Tommy replied in his usual matter of fact tone. His calculated facial expression remained undisturbed by my growing anxiety.

“No! I can’t! I won’t!” I insisted as I tried to open the door. Tommy's movements were like lightening. With one hand he slammed the door shut, while the other caught my wrist in a firm grasp. 

“This isn’t a casual invitation Rebecca. You don’t get to say no. They will put your name on an arrest warrant!” Tommy shot back. His growing frustration seeping into his voice now. 

“Did you tell them my name?” I fired back as I yanked my wrist from his grip.

“No.” Tommy replied tightly. 

“You won’t tell them my secret?” I asked hesitantly. 

“No. Tommy Shelby doesn’t tell anyone’s secrets.” He smirked as he took another drag of his cigarette. “Trust me.” Tommy said as he looked into my frightened eyes. His expression softening as he leaned down and captured my lips in a gentle kiss.

 

The next morning I woke early. I dressed quickly before tucking my wavy hair behind my ears. I applied powder to my face to cover the fading pink mark on my cheek. When I opened the door I found Tommy leaned against the wall cigarette in hand. His cool, calm exterior firmly in place.

“Ready?” Tommy asked as he stood straight up and looked me over. 

“Yes,” I replied as I exhaled loudly.

As we walked toward the police station Tommy and I reviewed the plan one last time. I had never faced Inspector Campbell and had no idea of how to handle him. But Tommy and his family had dealt with him on multiple occasions since his arrival in Small Heath. When we were a block from the station Tommy stopped us. For the sake of our plan, we could not be seen out together without potentially raising further suspicion. 

“It’s all you from here. Think you can remember it all?” Tommy ask. I nodded my head before exhaling sharply. Tommy nodded me off before lighting a cigarette to occupy his time.

 

The police station was dark and drab. As if it was even possible, the dark red bricks made the interrogation room appear even smaller. I felt claustrophobic and anxious as I sat awaiting Campbell for over half an hour. The door opened revealing an older man with grey hair wearing a respectable suit.

“Miss. Murphy.” Inspector Campbell greeted me by my alias. His gaze was harsh and filled with judgement. He did nothing to hide the disdain he already felt towards me. 

“Sir,” I greeted politely. 

“Thank you for coming.” He said as a matter of formality rather than in genuine gratitude. “I have asked you here today to discuss an incident which occurred on the fourth day of April 1920.” He began. I nodded. “Please state your name for the record.” He prompted.

“Rebecca Elizabeth Murphy.” I said, being careful not to show him anything I felt. He nodded, satisfied with my answer.

“Miss. Murphy,” He said as he began to pace back and forth in the small room. “Have you ever met a man by the name of William Kimber before?” He asked. 

“Yes, I met him at the Cheltenham races.” I replied. 

“Mr. Thomas Shelby introduced you, is that correct?” He asked as he fixed his gaze on me. 

“Yes,” I replied. 

“What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Shelby?” The inspector asked. 

“He is my employer.” I said as I refocused on Inspector Campbell. He nodded as he continued judging me openly. 

“You have been seen with Mr. Shelby on many occasions. More than one would expect of a barmaid.” Inspector Campbell bated. 

“Yes,” I replied through my teeth. 

“Sometimes late at night.” Campbell said as he glared at me. 

“Yes. Mr. Shelby is a busy man.” I fired back. The rise in my emotions brought a satisfied smirk to Inspector Campbell’s face. Fuck. Tommy had warned me not to lose my temper. I hadn’t been in the room more than five minutes and had already given into Campbell’s bait. 

“So, Miss. Murphy, can you tell me about the day’s events?” Campbell asked. I took a deep breath while I thought of my response. 

“I accompanied Mr. Shelby to the races. When we arrived we entered the owners club, Mr. Shelby had business to attend to with Mr. Kimber-” 

“What sort of business is that?” The inspector interrupted. 

“Mr. Shelby does not discuss his business with me, sir.” I replied. 

“I find that hard to believe. You’re a beautiful young woman. I’m sure Mr. Shelby would find you an excellent confidant. Perhaps that explains your late night meetings.” He prompted. I scoffed at his attempt to bait me again. 

“I accompanied Mr. Shelby to the races once, at his request. Beyond that I’m just a barmaid.” I replied. Inspector Campbell shot me a rather disapproving look. 

“Tell me, what happened after you arrived at the races?” He asked. 

“Mr. Shelby and Mr. Kimber’s accountant needed to discuss business, so I went to watch the race.” I said. 

“Mr. Kimber said that he invited you to join him for the race. Is that true?” Campbell asked. 

“Yes, he offered, but I declined.” I replied as my anxiety grew. 

“Then why do we have two witnesses who saw a man and woman leaving Mr. Kimber’s private box just after the start of the race?” Campbell pressed. 

“Because.” I replied through my gritted teeth. My nerves were quickly unraveling under the pressure.

“Why Miss. Murphy? It’s a simple question!” Campbell bellowed. 

“Mr. Kimber tried to rape me.” I cried out in frustration without a second thought. Fuck. 

“What!” The inspector shouted. His anger caused me to jump from my seat in terror. “Sit down Miss. Murphy!” He yelled. I could tell that this was not the answer he expected to receive. Tommy must not have included this detail when Campbell questioned him. “Why would a respectable man like William Kimber want the likes of you?” The inspector spat. Fuck it.

“You said so yourself Inspector, I’m a beautiful woman. I can’t help that men are pigs. When they find something they want, they can’t help but try to take it.” I spat back as my defiance bubbled to the surface. 

“So you are Mr. Shelby’s whore. You propositioned Mr. Kimber and when he didn’t return your advance you shot him. Or did Mr. Shelby shoot him out of jealousy?” Inspector Campbell challenged. 

“No! I told you, Mr. Kimber was drunk and he tried to rape me! If anyone deserves to be arrested it’s Mr. Kimber! Not me and certainly not Thomas Shelby!” I fired back as I stood to my feet in a rage. Inspector Campbell stopped pacing, his sharp eyes connecting with mine as he approached me. 

“So Mr. Shelby was in Mr. Kimber’s box with you?” He asked, his voice low and pointed now. I took a step back in an attempt to create space between us. With every step I took Campbell took two toward me. When my back connected with the cold bricks I knew I would have to come up with an answer quickly. Fuck. 

“Mr. Shelby acted in my defense. That is all.” I replied frantically. I had done everything wrong. Tommy had fed me a respond to every possible question Campbell would ask. He warned me not to lose my cool. I had done the exact opposite of what I was supposed to and fed Campbell more leverage on Tommy. Fuck. 

“So it was Mr. Shelby who shot Mr. Kimber?” Campbell pressed as he took another step toward me. 

“Inspector Campbell, sir.” A uniformed officer called as he opened the door. He stopped short at the sight of us. “Pardon me, sir. I don’t mean to interrupt but there is a telephone call from London for you. Shall I take a message?” He asked. Inspector Campbell’s irritation at being found in such a compromising position was undeniable. 

“Thank you Sergeant Moss. We were just finishing here. You can show Miss. Murphy to the door.” Inspector Campbell said as he turned on his heel and left the room. I brought my hand to my chest and tried to catch my breath. 

“Come along.” Sergeant Moss said as he motioned me to the door. I followed the Sergeant to the door. My mind continued to race as I followed Sergeant Moss down the dark corridor. As I stepped into the street I was consumed with one question. What would I tell Tommy? 

“So?” Tommy asked after we had been walking for a while. 

“What?” I asked quietly. I kept my eyes forward, but I could sense Tommy’s blue eyes on me. 

“You’ve been fucking mute since you talked to Campbell.” Tommy muttered as he lit a cigarette between his lips. 

“I’m tired is all.” I shot back. Tommy caught my arm and stopped us in the middle of the walkway. The intensity in his blue eyes told me that he was not amused by my attitude. 

“What happened in there? Hm?” Tommy asked. I looked to the side, wishing there was any way out of Tommy’s questions. “Usually I can’t get you to shut that mouth of yours.” Tommy commented. 

“It was going alright. I was saying everything just as you told me to. But then Campbell started saying these things. He called me a whore and I lost my cool.” I confessed. Tommy took hold of my arms and forced me to look him in the eye. 

“Rebecca, you need to tell me exactly what you said to him.” Tommy demanded as his blue eyes began to search my own. 

“I told him that you acted in my defense when Kimber tried to rape me. I told him that Kimber tried to rape me and he still called me a whore! He got inside my head!” I shot back out of pure frustration. 

“You told Campbell that I shot Kimber!” Tommy pressed, his voice now barely above a whisper. 

“No! All I said was that you defended me. Campbell had me up against a wall. What did you expect me to say? If Sergeant Moss hadn’t walked in I don’t know what Campbell would have done to me.” I replied. 

“Sergeant Moss?” Tommy asked quickly. 

“Yeah, I think that’s what Campbell called him.” I replied. 

“Come on.” Tommy said as he turned and continued walking. 

“Tommy! You don’t get to fucking walk away from me because you finished talking!” I yelled after him. Tommy spun on his heel, the anger returning to his eyes as he marched back toward me. He caught my elbow in his grasp and drug me into the nearest alley. His jerky movements sending a shooting pain down my injured arm.

“Do you have any idea what this means? It means Campbell could arrest me. Have me hung for attempted murder! It puts the business-” 

“Did you even think about me? Huh?” I shot back, effectively cutting him off. “Campbell had my back against the wall! The same fucking way they all did!” I cried as the tears slipped from my eyes. Tommy exhaled and glanced down before looking me in the eye again. 

“You’re alright. It’ll be alright.” Tommy reassured me as he pulled me to his chest. The embrace lasted only a matter of seconds before he released me. “Come on. We need to get back.” He said as he nodded me to follow him. 

 

“Where’s Arthur?” Tommy asked John as soon as he arrived back at the betting shop. John stopped scribbling figures on the massive black board and turned toward his elder brother.

“Office,” John said as he nodded toward Arthur’s office. 

“Come on.” Tommy said gruffly as he made his way toward Arthur’s office. When Tommy opened the door to Arthur’s office, he was not surprised to find him seated at his desk with a whiskey in hand. The unexpected arrival and abrupt departure of their father had sent Arthur into a downward spiral. “Shut the door John.” Tommy said as he began pouring himself a whiskey. 

“How’d Rebecca do?” Arthur asked with remarkable clarity given the stench of booze. Tommy downed his whiskey before responding. 

“She fucked up. She practically told Campbell that I shot Kimber.” Tommy replied. 

“Fuck.” Arthur muttered as he took another sip of the amber liquid.

“You’re taking this well Tom.” John commented which earned him a sharp glare from Tommy.

“Thankfully Moss should be able to help us out of this fucking mess.” Tommy said as he poured himself another whiskey. 

“Whatcha mean Tommy?” Arthur inquired. 

“Moss walked in on Campbell and Rebecca in a compromising position.” Tommy said before downing his drink. Arthur and John both eyed Tommy; each of them recalling the tense exchange that occurred in the Garrison weeks prior. “She’ll be alright.” Tommy assured his brothers. 

“You sure she can handle this Tommy? It’s a lot for one girl to take on.” John asked. 

“Leave Rebecca to me, alright?” Tommy scolded John. “I say we help Moss make the right choices. Maybe we can get rid of Campbell once and for all.” Tommy suggested. 

“You mean bribe him?” Arthur asked. 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Tommy shot back. 

“You really want the coppers in on this Tommy?” John asked. 

“No, John boy, but I need Chester Campbell out of my fucking city.” Tommy replied firmly. 

“What about the guns?” John asked. Tommy turned and gave John a sharp glare. 

“Yeah, Tommy. Why not just turn the guns over? Campbell would fuck off and leave us alone.” Arthur suggested. Tommy looked from John to Arthur. 

“No.” Tommy replied.

“Why the bloody hell not? Don’t you have enough on Tom?” Arthur shouted at his younger brother. 

“That’s exactly what he wants! He wants to force us to turn the guns over. And since when do we just fucking give things to coppers?” Tommy fired back. 

“I’m the oldest, and I say we get rid of the fucking guns!” Arthur bellowed as he neared Tommy. “You can’t sell them, not without it coming back on us. You tried that with the IRA Tommy. Look what good that did, eh? Two bodies to clean up and Rebecca got shot!” Arthur protested. 

“Arthur.” Tommy warned, his voice low and pointed. “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.”

“Things I don’t understand? There seems to be a lot I don’t understand lately.” Arthur shouted as he closed in on his younger brother. John stepped in and prepared to break them apart. 

“Things happened. Things I cannot begin to explain.” Tommy said as his own head began to spin. “All you need to know is Rebecca shot one, and I shot the other. Now would you leave it the fuck alone? I will handle it.” Tommy said before turning away. Arthur and John exchanged a quiet look between them. 

“Yeah, alright Tommy. You handle her.” Arthur said before returning to his chair. “Get the fuck out of my office, both of you.” Arthur said as he ran his hands through his hair. John returned to his previous position, while Tommy hastily collected his cap before leaving the shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	15. Blackmail

Blackmail

“Sergeant Moss.” Arthur said as he and John came up behind the uniformed officer. Moss turned, panic written all over his face. He let out a strained sigh once he realized that Arthur and John meant him no immediate harm. 

“What can I do for you?” He asked as he stepped to the side. It was already after dusk, and with the heavy smog hanging in the air, there was little risk of them being spotted. 

“Your services are required.” Arthur said while John discreetly passed Moss a few folded bills. Moss looked between the two Shelby brothers. “We heard you found that bastard Campbell ready to rape a young woman in the precinct yesterday.” Arthur spat as he neared Moss. Arthur’s face twitched with rage as he envisioned Campbell and Rebecca.

“It would be a shame for this to come to light. Churchill sent Campbell to clean up the streets, not dirty them up.” John commented as he stepped closer to Moss. 

“Miss. Murphy? Yes, uh, I did. I did find them in a compromising position.” Moss stuttered as he looked between John and Arthur. “But I can’t say he was prepared to rape her. It looked damning, but-”

“Moss, let me fucking explain something to you.” Arthur interrupted. With every step Moss took, Arthur took two more. When Moss was backed against the wall Arthur patted his cheek aggressively. “All we need you to do is confront Inspector Campbell.” Arthur mocked Campbell. “Get Campbell to drop the investigation, and maybe Tommy won’t let Churchill know what he’s really been up to in Birmingham.” Arthur said. Moss nodded his head, eager for the uncomfortable situation to be over. Arthur forced a smile as he backed away from Moss.

“How do you suggest I get him to drop the investigation?” Moss asked.

“Do we have to tell you how to do fucking everything Moss?” John bellowed. Moss shook his head.

“No. No.” Moss assured them. 

“Good.” Arthur said as he turned. 

“You have until tomorrow at midnight.” John shouted as he turned back momentarily. Moss nodded his head. Having successfully completed their mission they turned in the direction of the Garrison. As soon as Arthur and John entered the Garrison, they went straight to the snug where Tommy was waiting. 

“So?” Tommy asked as soon as he caught sight of his brothers.

“He admitted that he saw them together.” Arthur grumbled as he swung the door shut.

“We gave him until tomorrow at midnight.” John said as he took a seat in the booth.

“Good.” Tommy said as he took a drink from his glass. 

“Rebecca! A bottle of the finest whiskey.” Arthur called happily from the window. I turned to find Arthur with a smile on his face, leaned on the window that connected the bar to the snug. I winced but managed to carry the heavy bottle of whiskey over to Arthur. “You shouldn’t be working with that arm the way it is. It’s only been a few weeks, Rebecca.” Arthur commented. 

“I’ll be alright Arthur, really.” I insisted. 

“You women… so bloody stubborn.” Arthur mumbled loud enough for me to hear. With the bottle of whiskey tucked under his arm Arthur turned, leaving the window open. Arthur’s concern mixed with his usual tough demeanor brought a small smile to my lips. I made my way back to the bar and took up a glass to fill the next order. 

“Rebecca!” Tommy called from the window. 

“Yes?” I asked as I returned to the window. 

“A beer.” Tommy requested. I turned and picked up a mug with my right hand. I stared at the taps, suddenly unsure of how I would pull the lever down without inflicting pain on myself. “If you can’t do your job you might as well go home.” Tommy commented from the window. 

“You did that on purpose.” I replied sharply as I marched back to the window. Tommy’s lips curled in a mischievous smirk as he shrugged off my sharp response. 

“Go home. I’ll come by after I sort some things out here.” He offered quietly.

“Alright. Fine.” I reluctantly agreed. 

“Harry, Rebecca’s fucking useless. Send her home before she hurts herself or breaks something.” Tommy called to Harry before sliding the window closed. Harry gave me a confused look. 

“What happened? You said you could manage.” Harry inquired as I collected my purse from under the bar.

“Well, obviously Mr. Shelby disagrees.” I replied sharply before making my way into the night. 

 

The next morning an anxious and exhausted Sergeant Moss reported for duty. He spent the entire night thinking up a way to convince Inspector Campbell to drop the investigation without revealing his alliance with the Shelby families. 

“Inspector Campbell, sir.” Moss called as he knocked on the glass door. Campbell looked up from his paperwork long enough to motion Moss to enter before returning his attention to his paperwork. 

“What can I do for you Sergeant Moss?” Inspector Campbell asked, his tone devoid of any genuine interest. Moss cleared his throat nervously before stepping closer to Campbell’s desk. 

“I was just wondering how the Billy Kimber case is coming?” He inquired. 

“Fine.” Campbell replied. The room fell into an awkward void of silence. After a few moments, Campbell looked up at Moss with a glint of annoyance in his eyes. “Is that all Sergeant Moss?” He asked. 

“No, sir. I’m actually here because the woman from yesterday, Miss. Murphy, she is claiming you tried to rape her.” Moss said. Campbell’s lips curled up into an amused smirk before a chuckle escaped his lips. 

“That is absurd!” Campbell bellowed. 

“She’s entangled with the Peaky Blinders sir. They have a way of making people believe their side, even if it isn’t true. Anyway, her story is you would have raped her if I hadn’t walked in when I did.” Moss said. He had worked with Campbell long enough to know how perceptive and ruthless he could be. One slip up and Campbell would know of his ulterior motives. In a strange way he admired Campbell for his perceptiveness, but his constant condescending attitude and ruthlessness made Moss detested him even more. 

“Is that how you see it, Sergeant Moss?” Campbell asked as he stood to his feet. 

“Frankly sir, if a formal inquiry was made, it wouldn’t matter what I did or didn’t see. Your name would be ruined. The Peaky Blinders would make sure of it.” Moss replied. Campbell’s eyes were now wild with rage as he walked back and forth in his office. He continued on for a few minutes, while Moss waited in a tense anticipation. Suddenly, Inspector Campbell stopped and turned to Moss.

“No. No. This is exactly what they want.” Campbell said.

“Sir?” Moss asked nervously.

“Thomas Shelby, he used that snake of a woman to trap Billy Kimber and when his plan failed he shot him. Now he thinks the claims of some little girl will be enough to threaten me.” Campbell scoffed. “He has no idea what’s coming for him.” Campbell bellowed at Moss before he returned to pacing the room. Moss looked on in horror as Campbell began spewing off a plan to ruin the Shelby family. As relieved as Moss was that Campbell had not discovered his illicit connection to the Shelby family; it paled in comparison to the fear that was quickly consuming him. Tommy would not take this news well. 

 

“Have you heard from Moss?” Tommy asked as he ducked his head into Arthur's office. It was near closing time, and still there was no word from Moss. 

“No. Ask John.” Arthur replied gruffly. Tommy returned to the busy main room in search of John. As usual John was at the board scribbling figures on the chalkboard. Business was booming, and had been since their union with the Lee Family. They were sweeping the races, except for those run by Billy Kimber. As proud as Tommy was when he looked around at his booming business he couldn’t deny the hunger for more. 

“John!” Tommy called as he motioned his brother over. John turned and met Tommy in the center of the shop floor. 

“Yeah Tommy?” John asked.

“Have you heard anything from Moss?” He asked. 

“No.” John replied. Tommy patted John on the shoulder before retreating to his office. Tommy sunk into his desk chair with a sigh. 

“Fuck.” He muttered as he rubbed his hands over his face. He lit a cigarette between his lips and took a long drag. The smoke slowly calmed his nerves enough for him to begin an urgent correspondence.

 

“Sergeant Moss.” Tommy called as he emerged from the darkness and approached Moss. The water crashed against the sides of the canal while the moonless night provided cover for their conversation. Moss turned towards Tommy’s voice, failing to maintain any composure. 

“Mr. Shelby,” He replied as he broke out into a cold sweat. 

“Did you succeed in your task?” Tommy asked as he looked out over the canal. He struck a match and quickly lit the cigarette that hung between his lips. 

“I’m afraid not Mr. Shelby.” Moss replied. Tommy exhaled before turning toward Moss. His piercing blue eyes landing harshly on the frightened man stood before him. 

“So you’ve come here to tell me you failed?” Tommy replied sharply. Moss struggled to find any words worth saying. In his intense fear, Moss settled on a silent nod yes. Tommy shook his head. “Fuck.” He muttered. 

“Please, Mr. Shelby. I have children and a wife.” Moss begged. Tommy turned and stared at Moss. 

“I’m not going to kill you Sergeant Moss. Despite fucking this up.” Tommy shouted as he took Moss by the collar. “You can still prove yourself useful.” He said in a quiet more calculating tone. 

 

The next day, I convinced Harry that I could manage my work. Harry didn’t take as much convincing as Arthur did. When Arthur and John arrived he made it clear he did not approve of my working. Arthur even made me carry two large mugs into the snug just to ensure I wouldn’t tire out. On the contrary, Tommy was distracted and distant just like he was last night. When he came to my room after sending me home early, I could tell that something was deeply troubling him. When I begged him to tell me what was bothering him, he shrugged me off and made an excuse to leave. All night I had tried to get a reading from him, but with his eyes down and lips silent I couldn’t so much as gather an idea of what was troubling him. When closing time rolled around, Tommy made no attempt to move from the snug. Harry reluctantly left me to close up, if and when I could convince Tommy to leave.

“Rebecca,” Tommy called from the snug. When I opened the door I found Tommy seated in the booth with a bottle of whiskey and single glass on the table in front of him.

“Yes?” I asked. 

“Close the door.” He ordered. 

“No one else is here.” I commented as I closed the door behind me. 

“I want you to take your clothes off.” He said as he brought the glass to his lips. 

“No. Tommy, not here.” I laughed off his request. 

“Rebecca, take your clothes off.” He repeated, his tone was firm but not entirely unkind. Despite his repeated request I refused to move, shooting him a challenging look instead. He stood to his feet and closed the space between us. “Rebecca.” Tommy said, his voice a steady whisper. I felt the familiar warmth forming at the base of my stomach as his fingertips danced across my neck and pushed the stray hairs out of the way. His lips followed the trail his fingertips had created. 

“Tommy, why here?” I breathed as I fought my own desires. 

“Why not?” Tommy asked as he stepped back. 

“What if someone comes back?” I asked. Tommy marched out of the snug turning toward the front door. I heard a loud slamming noise at the front door followed by another slamming noise at the side door. He had likely broken both latches clean off with the sound it made.

“Satisfied?” Tommy asked as he reappeared in the doorway. The frustration was evident in his voice and face now. “Now take your clothes off Rebecca.” He ordered as he flung the door closed. His frustration fueled my excitement in the most unexpected way. “I need you.” He said, his voice revealing his great need. Despite my good judgement and common sense, I couldn’t deny the man when he was in such a state. I slowly worked the buttons on the front of my shirt and slipped it off. Bringing both hands behind my back I unbuttoned my skirt, all the while keeping my eyes locked with Tommy’s. Once I was left in my slip and stockings I placed both hands on my hips. His lips landed firmly on mine as his arms snaking around my waist, pulling me even closer. I could feel his excitement as I returned the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. He broke our kiss momentarily to remove his waistcoat and shrug his suspenders off his shoulders. His lips returned to mine but quickly moved to my neck. 

“This is the most reckless thing I’ve ever done.” I breathed as I felt the familiar sensations rising once again. I closed my eyes and allowed the sensation to overtake me. “What have you done to me Tommy Shelby?” I breathed. I relaxed into him and gave in. He lifted me onto the table, the cold wood on the back of my thighs sending a shiver through my body. Our kiss continued as Tommy lowered his trousers and positioned himself. He entered me without warning, causing a moan to escape my lips. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he continued to move. His movements were quick, bring us to our climax quickly. When we finished he pulled out, and buttoned his trousers. I remained on the table while I attempted to catch my breath. Once his trousers were back in place he turned back to help me from the table. 

“How’s your shoulder?” Tommy asked as he stepped closer. I looked down at the pink scar on my shoulder. 

“It hurts.” I confessed. 

“You shouldn’t be working.” He commented. I rolled my eyes.

“You know just as well as I do Tommy, if I don’t work – I don’t eat.” I shot back.

“Arrangements could be made so that you wouldn’t have to work.” Tommy replied as he placed his warm hands on my bare thighs. “Hmm,” He hummed as he leaned in and kissed the sensitive skin on my shoulder. 

“Tommy, let me be clear. I don’t want your money. All I want is an honest wage for the work I do out there.” I said as I pointed toward the bar. “This. Whatever it is. I don’t do it because I need money. Understood?” I shot back. 

“Alright.” Tommy replied. The distant look returned to his eyes, and in that moment I knew that what had just happened between us was merely a physical distraction from what he was truly feeling. 

“Is it us Tommy?” I questioned. Tommy’s eyes connected with mine as the room fell into deafening silence.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He replied as he pulled away from me. 

“You. This foul mood you’ve been in. What’s bothering you?” I pressed as I slipped myself off the table.

“It doesn’t concern you.” Tommy shot back. 

“It doesn’t concern me because it’s business, or are you just saying that in hopes I’ll let it go?” I asked. Tommy turned away from me and continued dressing himself. “Tommy, if you have regrets about me, then say it.” I begged as I tugged on his arm. 

“Come on. I’ll walk you home.” Tommy said before leaving me in the snug to dress alone.


	16. Heat Wave

Heat Wave

“John! Arthur!” Tommy called as he slammed the door to the betting shop closed. John and Arthur ran into the room with Polly following quickly behind. “I’ve just heard from Moss. Campbell and his men are coming. He’s not going to leave Birmingham without seeing me hang.” Tommy said between ragged breaths. His brow dripped with sweat from his run through the sweltering heat wave.

“Fucking hell.” Arthur cursed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“What about your letter to Churchill?” Polly asked. 

“Nothing. Fucking nothing.” Tommy replied quickly as he continued to pace the floor. 

“So what now Thomas?” Polly asked, although she already knew the answer. Tommy met Polly’s brown eyes with his piercing blue ones.

“Shelby’s don’t give into coppers. At least not without a fight.” Tommy said as he looked between his brothers and his aunt. 

“Oh fuck.” Polly muttered. 

“That’s right Tom.” Arthur agreed.

“John go round to Charlie’s and get the guns and all the spare ammunition you can find. Go!” Tommy ordered. John took off in a sprint towards Charlie’s yard. “Arthur, I want you to go get Rebecca. If Campbell’s looking for me-”

“No, Tommy. Let me.” Polly offered. Tommy gave Polly’s offer pause. “It’s Thursday. She’ll be at confession. I’m sure of it.” Polly said. 

“Alright, go.” Tommy said, motioning her off. 

 

I made the sign of the cross before slipping into the pew and kneeling. The cool cobblestones under my knees provided a momentary reprieve from the intense summer heat wave. I rolled the rosary beads between my fingers hoping to pull some comfort from them. 

“Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.” I mumbled quietly as I bowed my head. 

“Blessed are thou among women,” Polly interrupted. I turned my head to find the Shelby matriarch seated beside me. Her black lace prayer veil obscuring a portion of her face, giving her an even more ominous presence. “And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.” She finished. I sat back in the pew next to Polly; knowing full well she did not come to join me in prayer. 

“Amen,” I said. I looked around at the empty church. It was at least an hour before the scheduled confession time, which told me that Polly was not here by happenstance.

“You know, it’s funny. You and Tommy.” She commented. Fuck. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” I diverted nervously. 

“A bookmaker trusting his life to an sullied church girl.” Polly said as she shot me a sideways glance. I shifted in my seat and turned my eyes forward. Polly’s line of conversation was fueling the anxiety I was desperately seeking relief from.

“Have I really fallen that far?” I shot back. 

“I see the way Tommy favors you. You two clearly have a connection. Tell me, how long did it take my nephew to seduce you? He’s had a lot of women, but you are by far the most pious.”

“I helped him with some business, that’s all.” I replied firmly. 

“He saved your life.” Polly replied quickly.

“I saved his life too, or did he leave that part out?” I shot back as I turned and gave Polly a sharp look. Polly smirked as she looked down at her hands that were folded neatly in her lap.

“Only to end it.” Polly said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling more apprehensive with Polly’s sudden sober tone. “Polly, what’s going on?” I asked frantically. 

“Tommy’s clever. He always has been. Ever since he was a little boy; he was always into things he wasn’t supposed to. That clever boy turned into a good gambling man. There’s only one thing that could blind a man as smart as Tommy. Love.” My head turned, my eyes meeting Polly’s intense gaze. “I reckon he loved you from the moment he laid eyes on you.” Polly shook her head in an attempt to refocus her thoughts. “He punched above his weight and now he’s going to hang for it.” 

“The fuck are you on about Polly!” I shouted hysterically. Polly turned to me, this time with tears in her eyes. 

“You told Campbell that Tommy defended you against Billy Kimber. Tommy thought that he could get Campbell to back down by threatening to ruin his reputation.” Polly scoffed as she shook her head furiously. “Now Campbell’s on a manhunt and he won’t stop until there is a rope around Tommy neck.” Polly said in a low voice. I brought a trembling hand to my mouth as Polly’s words set in. “So Rebecca, how do you intend to save Tommy now?” Polly spat as she stood to her feet and left me in the pew. I buried my face in my hands. The sobs quickly overtaking my body as I replayed Polly’s words over and over in my mind. 

 

“You will each be assigned a location that Thomas Shelby is known to frequent.” Campbell said as he pointed to the various red marks on the map of Small Heath. The officers leaned in and examined the map closer. 

“Inspector Campbell.” Moss called as he rushed through the door. 

“He is to be considered armed and dangerous. He is the worst mankind has to offer. I want him taken alive. But if he were to retaliate, you may serve justice yourself.” Campbell instructed.

“Inspector Campbell, sir!” Moss called as he stepped further into the room. 

“Any questions?” Campbell asked. He scanned the crowd where he found an out of breath Moss who looked eager for his attention. “Yes, Sergeant Moss?” 

“Inspector Campbell, there is a telephone call from London. It’s Mr. Churchill.” Moss replied with urgency. Campbell grumbled as he made a hasty retreat to his office. He returned moments later; his face a deep red color and hands trembling with anger. 

“There has been a change of plans.” Campbell announced. 

 

I remained unmoved until the first parishioners arrived for confession. I had spent the past hour running over Polly’s words. Having finally made up my mind, I stood to my feet, and made a straight line for the door. I pushed the large wooden doors open, only to find a raging thunderstorm. 

“Bloody marvelous.” I muttered to myself. I removed my prayer veil and shoved it deep into my pocket beside the rosary. Without a coat or umbrella, I took off in the rain toward the betting shop. My clothes and shoes quickly saturated from the steady downpour. I wiped the strands of hair that stuck to my face behind my ears as I continued on at a steady pace. Without slowing my pace or a moment of hesitation, I threw open the doors to the betting shop. Tommy and Arthur stood from their seats and drew their weapons. I froze in the doorway, my chest heaving as I tried to wrap my mind around the situation. If Inspector Campbell was coming for Tommy, then why was he sitting around? With the door unlocked none the less. 

“Holy shit! Rebecca, we’ve been looking for you.” Arthur said as he approached me. I must have looked a fright soaking wet, my hair disheveled, and make up smeared. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Tommy asked before I could answer Arthur. He marched right up to me with his bright blue eyes burning into mine.

“Church.” I replied as I wiped the strands of wet hair away my face.

“What fucking church?” Tommy pressed. 

“Tommy!” Arthur warned. 

“What fucking church Rebecca?” Tommy shouted.

“Tommy!” Arthur growled.

“What Arthur?” Tommy snapped at Arthur. 

“She’s going to die of pneumonia if she doesn’t dry off. You can fucking interrogate her later.” Arthur replied sternly. Tommy let out an annoyed sigh. 

“Fine.” Tommy grumbled.

“I’ll see what Polly has to dry her off with.” Arthur muttered as he excused himself. As soon as the door closed Tommy’s lips were on mine. He backed me into the door as his hands traveled to my waist. I wrapped both my arms around his neck as I relaxed into his warm body. Tommy broke our kiss and touched his forehead on mine. 

“Where the fuck were you?” Tommy whispered as the tension dissipated from his voice. 

“Saint Mary’s. Same place I always am.” I replied quietly. 

“So Polly told you.” Tommy said as he straightened. I nodded my head. 

“All Polly had was…” Arthur stopped short as he entered the room. Tommy cleared his throat and backed away from me before turning his head and eyeing Arthur harshly. 

“Alright, go on. Dry off. Meet me back here. We need to talk.” Tommy said as he motioned me off. I walked over to Arthur who offered me the remnants of what must have once been a towel. 

“Just through there.” Arthur said as he pointed to the doors he had just entered from. I nodded my head before turning and leaving the two eldest Shelby brothers alone. “Seems you have this in hand brother.” Arthur said as he moved to collect his cap from the table. His eyes connecting with Tommy’s briefly as he moved past his younger brother. In the other room, I dried my hair and clothes to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, without dry clothes to change into the cold remained. When I returned I found Tommy sat at a table in the center of the room, a burning cigarette in hand. 

“Sit.” Tommy said as he motioned to the seat across from his. “Rebecca-”

“The fuck happened tonight Tommy?” I asked quickly before my better judgement had the opportunity to stop me. Tommy brought his cigarette back to his lips before sitting back in his chair. “Was Campbell really going to hang you because of what I said?” I asked.

“Yes.” He replied before taking another drag from his cigarette. I shook my head in disbelief. Polly was right. My inability to control myself under pressure had nearly cost Tommy his life. “Campbell caught onto my plan, but I handled it.” Tommy said.

“What plan?” I asked, my irritation growing by the minute. At the moment, the only thing distracting me from the cold was my growing frustration for Tommy’s secrets.

“Look, Rebecca, it’s finished. You don’t need to worry-” Tommy replied. 

“I almost got you killed and you have the fucking nerve to tell me not to worry!” I shouted as I stood to my feet. Tommy’s eyes traveled to mine. He cocked his head to the side before standing to his feet and leaning over the table. 

“Somethings are better you don’t know.” Tommy replied sternly. 

“Tell me!” I demanded. Our blue eyes were now locked in a battle of silent will. Finally Tommy turned and moved to the window. 

“I found out through a copper on our payroll that Campbell was determined to hang me for Billy Kimber. I tried to use Campbell’s indiscretions during your interrogation against him; somehow shame him into leaving the city. When that didn’t work I made a deal with a man who was far more powerful than Inspector Campbell.” Tommy said as he turned to face me again. 

“You used me as blackmail?” I asked.

“Yes.” Tommy said with a sigh. I nodded my head as I tried to absorb his words. “You don’t have to worry. Campbell left for London on the noon train.” Tommy informed me. 

“So, who did you sell your soul to Tommy?” I asked carefully. 

“A very powerful man.” Tommy said as he approached me. He rubbed my arms which sent a shiver through my entire body. My wet clothing was rapidly dropping my body temperature, which caused me to tremble all over. “You’re going to fucking catch your death. Come with me.” Tommy said as he took my hand and led me up the stairs. 

“I shouldn’t be here.” I whispered nervously. Tommy smirked as he opened the bedroom door and ushered me inside. There was a small bed in one corner and a chest of drawers opposite of it. The room contained scarcely anything, and it lacked any adornment. For a successful bookmaker who only wore perfectly tailored suits I found Tommy’s room puzzling. Tommy pulled out an old shirt and offered it to me. I stuck my trembling hand out to accept it. Then he turned and knelt in front of the fire place. With military precision and efficiency, he had a roaring fire going within a matter of minutes. He stood to his feet and pulled me closer to the fire. 

“Here,” Tommy said as he put his cigarette between his lips and went to work undressing me. He unbuttoned my shirt before motioning for me to turn so he could remove my skirt. He pulled my slip over my head with one sweeping motion, leaving me shivering in my undergarments. He removed every last stitch of clothing before allowing me to slip into the oversized shirt. “Go on.” Tommy said as he motioned to his bed. I continued to tremble as I slipped under the blanket and laid on my back. As I laid there, I watched Tommy strip down to his underwear before he slipping into bed next to me. 

“Tommy, I’m fucking freezing. It makes no sense.” I muttered. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he pulled me into his chest. 

“I suppose the heatwave is over.” He teased. He vigorously rubbed his hands over my arms and back in an attempt to warm me up. He continued until my shivering ceased. Finally, I was able to relax into the warmth of Tommy's body and close my eyes. 


	17. Life and Everything

Life and Everything  
Fall 1920

It had been over a month since Tommy made the deal that put an end to Inspector Campbell’s investigation into who shot Billy Kimber. In accordance to the deal, Tommy had to surrender the guns stolen from the BSA factory. An ‘anonymous tip’ led Inspector Campbell to the grave of Daniel Owen where the guns were buried. With all but one of the stolen guns safely recovered, Chester Campbell had been recalled to London. The peace allowed life to settle into a normal rhythm. I was Tommy’s employee by day and his lover by night. It was far from normal by my usual standards, but I could tell it was a comfortable for Tommy. When we were together Tommy allowed his dangerous and confident façade to fall away. I could tell that he still held onto certain secrets, but yet again so did I. We agreed that it would be wise to keep our relationship private. There was still business to be accomplished is what Tommy said. But we both knew deep down that it could not remain a secret forever. 

“Hello,” Tommy’s words brought me back from my day dream. My first thought was that he looked handsome standing before me in his perfectly tailored navy suit. He leaned over the bar; his blue eyes fixed on me as he patiently waited for my response. 

“Hello,” I replied with a small smile. “Are you ready for today?” I asked him as I set a beer in front of him. 

“Yes,” He replied with a confident smile. We exchanged glances as I continued serving drinks to the rest of the boys. “Thank you.” Tommy whispered as he leaned over the bar. 

“For what?” I inquired.

“For being a good partner in all of this.” He replied. Without warning his kind words brought a flood of hot tears to my eyes.

“Excuse me,” I said as I retreated out the back door before anyone had the chance to see my tears. I heard the sound of Tommy’s boots behind me, but I didn’t dare face him in the state I was in. This was my fault. I was in over my head and I felt so foolish for it. 

“Rebecca,” He called softly as he took my shoulders and turned me to face him. His blue eyes were soft and kind, the same way they always were when it was just the two of us. I turned my head unable to look into Tommy’s blue eyes. I knew that if I did I would crumble under the weight of it all. “What is it? Is it about today?” Tommy inquired. 

“No.” I replied quietly. Tommy sighed as he hung his head. 

“Next family meeting, I’ll tell everyone about us. Alright? We can do it properly if that’s what you want.” Tommy said as he tried to make eye contact with me.

“If only we could do it properly.” I replied bitterly. 

“We can talk more about it afterwards, when this is all over. After today Billy Kimber will be nothing more than a bad memory.” Tommy promised as he softly cupped my face. His kindness broke my heart even more than it already had. Tommy had opened himself up, and now he was offering to do it properly, but there was no chance of it now.

“Yeah, alright.” I sniffed. “We’ll talk about it later.” I said as I forced a smile. I wiped the tears from my cheek before rejoining Tommy and the others. The boys continued drinking and chatting while I stayed behind the bar; desperately trying to hold it together. 

“Tommy!” Jeremiah yelled as he burst through the doors. Tommy turned and looked expectantly at his old friend. 

“What is it Jeremiah?” Tommy asked, carefully guarding his growing concern. 

“Kimber and his men are coming into town now.” Jeremiah said. Tommy turned to his men. 

“Fucking hell!” Arthur cursed loudly. 

“The Lee’s have already gone to the races. We’re fucked now!” John interjected. 

“Alright boys, you all served in France so you know plans generally get fucked up. Jeremiah, how many men?” Tommy asked. 

“At least twenty men.” Jeremiah responded. 

“Fuck.” Arthur muttered. 

“John, we’re going to need more guns. Go to Charlie’s and bring them here.” Tommy said as he turned to John. “Alright men. We face them here with or without the Lee’s.” Tommy said as he gathered his jacket and began to leave.

“Tommy!” I called after him. Tommy stopped and allowed the rest of his men to filter out before speaking. 

“You still have your gun?” Tommy asked. I nodded my head as I once again fought my tears. “Good. Go home.” He ordered. 

“Alright,” I breathed as I tried not to cry. Tommy quickly looked over at Harry who was desperately looking for anything else of interest besides us. Tommy leaned over the bar and captured my lips in a brief kiss. He shrugged his coat on as he turned and left out the front door. As soon as the door closed I let the tears fall. I collapsed onto the floor behind the bar as loud sobs escaped my lips. Harry came to my side and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. 

“It’s hard to love a man who has no fear of death. But Tommy, he’s a sharp man. He’ll come out on top of it all.” He muttered as he bent down beside me. “You should get out of here. This is no place for you to be now.” Harry said as he helped me to my feet. I took a deep breath as I forced the tears to cease. With a simple nod, I turned and made my way out the back door. 

It was as if all of Birmingham knew trouble was coming. Mothers were protectively pulling their children in from playing in the streets, while men scrambled from one place to the other with intense purpose. I kept my head down and continued on toward home. When I turned the corner I saw about thirty men approaching with Billy Kimber leading the way. The bastard had lived, and didn’t look much worse for wear given the fact Tommy shot him at close range. The blood in my veins ran cold as I ducked back around the corner and pressed my back to the wall. My heart was racing a million times a minute by the time they passed me. Not a single one of them turned their head in my direction. My heart was torn and my mind tormented. I wanted to kill Kimber for what he had done to me. At Cheltenham I was the victim, but not anymore. I was done being anyone’s victim. But the impulse to kill Kimber clashed with the logic and survival tactics Tommy had been drilling into me over the past month. There could never be another mistake like the one I made with Inspector Campbell. If I was to continue working for the Shelby Company, I could never again endanger Tommy’s life. Once Kimber and his men were gone I ran the remainder of the way home. When I reached my room I locked the door and waited. I tried pacing, sitting on the bed, lying in bed, sitting in the chair; but nothing made the time pass any quicker. With a defeated sigh I collapsed onto my bed. 

“What have you done Rebecca?” I mumbled to myself. 

“Rebecca! Rebecca! Open the door!” Finn shouted from the other side of the door. I would have recognized the sweet boys voice anywhere. I quickly sat up and ran to open the door; desperate for any news. 

“Finn, what happened?” I asked as I bent down to his eye level. 

“It’s all over. It’s safe.” Finn said. I sighed, releasing the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“Is anyone hurt?” I asked. Finn nodded his head and dropped his eyes to his shoes. “Finn! Finn, tell me, who got hurt? Tell me.” I begged. His sweet eyes met mine once more. 

“Tommy’s hurt-” Finn started.

“Show me where he is.” I demanded as I clamored to my feet. I followed the youngest Shelby brother back toward the Garrison. When we arrived in Garrison Lane, the air had changed. It was heavier; more somber than I had ever felt it before. I noted the large pools of blood that dotted the lane. The sight of it made me increase my pace as we neared the Garrison. Before I could reach the door I could hear the cries of agony. I burst through the door, my eyes landing on Tommy who was surrounded by Arthur, Jeremiah, and John. 

“Oh my god!” I screamed as I turned away in horror.

“John, get her out of here! She shouldn’t see this.” Arthur bellowed as he kept a firm hold of Tommy’s shoulders. My head was beginning to spin and my vision went black as John appeared beside me. 

“Rebecca. Rebecca! Look at me! You shouldn’t be here.” He told me. Tommy’s continued screams filled my ears; wrenching my heart and stomach. I tried to look again, but instantly regretted the decision as bile rose in my throat. I pulled away from John and ran outside. Despite the cooler temperature outside, I broke into a sweat as I bent over and vomited. I heard the door open followed by boots approaching. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand before standing straight and turning. 

“I’m sorry John.” 

“He’ll be alright. Jeremiah will fix him up. He’s pulled more bullets out of Tommy than you’d care to know about.” John replied with a reassuring smile. 

“That’d be right John.” I replied. John chuckled to himself. “What happened?” I asked once the nausea subsided. 

“Eh, better let Tommy explain.” John said with a lopsided smile.

“No John. Tell me the truth. What happened?” I pressed. I could tell John felt uncomfortable telling me the truth. 

“Well it was fucked up before it started. You know that. I don’t fucking know how, but Campbell was the one who tipped off Kimber about out plan for the race. His parting gift to Tommy was what Kimber called it.” John said as he shook his head and looked out at the pools of blood. “Kimber shot Tommy. Then when Kimber started spewing off shit about you, Tommy shot him in the head. He brought a quick end to it all, but I’ve never seen Tommy so angry.” John turned and eyed me carefully. 

“Hmm.” I hummed quietly. John said something before he left me in the silence, but I had stopped listening. In the silence, my mind wondered far beyond my comfort. Mama, Tommy, the man in the alley, Kimber, Campbell, Aedan, Mae, Byrne. Part of me was angry and the other relieved. I had failed to protect my mother against Byrne and Aedan. At the time I lacked both the skills and the knowhow to protect myself. If I had the skills then, would I have done it any different? Tommy had fought off my biggest demons – Aedan, Byrne, Kimber, and the man in the alley. He had saved me, and each time I was grateful. But one question began to haunt me as it came to the forefront of my mind. Why had I not been strong enough to do it on my own? I would never know, and as it stood I was almost glad I couldn’t go back and change who pulled the trigger on who. I had the burden of Mae Finney’s eternal soul on my shoulders. Without Tommy, I doubt I would have been able to navigate the emotional turmoil of guilt and the sheer will to survive. Dealing with that was enough for me. Tommy had saved me from more than just physical harm. He had saved me from the emotional pain of walking through the rest of my life with so many eternal souls on my conscience. And for that I loved him all the more. 

 

Once Danny had been seen to, the Garrison erupted in celebration. It was the rowdiest crowd I had seen. The drinks flowing freely which allowed people to celebrate well into the night. Harry and I worked tirelessly all night serving customer after customer. Tommy stayed in the snug with John and Arthur most of the night. His wound had done nothing to stop his drinking, if anything it had encouraged it. It wasn’t until the early morning hours before all the men had drunk themselves into near unconsciousness or gone off to enjoy the company of a whore. Except for Tommy; he managed to remember his promise to talk to me after dealing with Kimber. 

“Go home Rebecca. I’ll stay.” Harry said when Tommy emerged from the snug with an expectant look on his face. I was grateful for the reprieve. My feet were aching from standing all day and night, and my stomach was churning with hunger. I collected my purse from behind the counter before I made my way over to where Tommy stood in front of the snug. 

“Your place?” Tommy asked as we stepped into the cool early morning air. 

“Yes,” I replied as we continued. We walked and ascended the stairs in relative silence. As soon as the door shut Tommy’s lips crashed on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. I needed to feel him. After the hellish day and all the mental torment, all I wanted was for Tommy to make me feel like everything was okay again. I leaned into him which brought a groan to Tommy’s lips. 

“Oh! Your arm. I’m sorry.” I said as I pulled back. “How is it?” I asked as I brushed my finger over the bullet hole in his coat. 

“Mhm,” He mumbled as he grimaced. “Not the first time I’ve taken a bullet. Won’t be the last.” Tommy replied as he took his cigarette case from his pocket. I watched as he pulled one from the tin and carefully placed it between his lips before lighting it with a match. I wanted to savor every last detail of him. 

“Tommy…” I began quietly. I turned my back, needing a moment to collect myself. “Tommy, I need to tell you something.” I muttered as I turned back to face him. He stood silently puffing his cigarette, waiting for me to speak. “Tommy, I’m pregnant.” I said. The silence that followed was deafening. I wanted to run and hide, like a child who had sinned against their parents. But Tommy’s blue eyes kept my feet nailed to the floor. 

“You sure?” Tommy asked in an almost calm manner. 

“Well I haven’t been to see anyone about it, but all the signs are there.” I replied. He nodded his head as he dropped his cigarette into the ashtray on my bedside table. 

“Do you want to have a baby?” Tommy asked. A loud sigh escaping his lips as he sat on the edge of the bed. I sat next to him and allowed the silence to engulf the room once again. 

“I didn’t wish it to happen if that’s what you mean. Fuck. I hardly know how it happened. All I knew when I went to bed with you the first time was to lay down.” I said, which brought a small smirk to Tommy’s lips. 

“You’ve come a long way.” Tommy teased. I shook my head. 

“Seriously Tommy. Look, I know you aren’t the marrying type and I don’t blame you for that. I just need to know what you want me to do about it. The thought of one of those women… no! Tommy I can’t do that. It’s wrong!” I said as I shook my head again. The thought of killing my baby, Tommy’s baby, our baby made me sick. But the fear of being an unwed mother struck an even greater fear in me. “If you want me to leave then I will, but I can’t go home. Not like this.” I said quietly. He turned his head and stared at me. 

“Rebecca O’Neill, you are a weakness I have allowed myself to have. I don’t regret any of it, not for a minute.” Tommy said as a single tear slipped from the corner of my eye. 

“I feel so stupid. This is all my fucking fault.” I spat angerly as another tear rolled down my cheek. His right hand turned my head so that our eyes met again.

“No. None of this religion and sin shit.” Tommy told me firmly. “Rebecca, I love you. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t, and then I didn’t want to stop it.” He said softly. I felt the air rush from the room as his words registered in my brain. 

“Really?” I asked. 

“Yes,” Tommy promised. 

“I have always loved you.” I replied as the tears rushed in like a flood. Tommy pulled me into his chest and allowed me to cry until I had no tears left. “What are we going to do?” I asked after I had wiped the tears from my face. 

“The only thing left to do. Call a family meeting and tell everyone.” Tommy said as he stood and began undressing. 

“No! Tommy they can’t know.” I said. 

“They will know whether we tell them or not Rebecca. They all have eyes and can count.” Tommy replied with a matter of fact tone. I groaned as I imagined the humiliation of facing the entire Shelby family.

“Can we keep it within the family?” I asked. 

“People talk Rebecca.” Tommy replied as he sat down beside me in his underwear. “But my family won’t.” Tommy said as he planted a kiss on my temple. 

“So we tell your family, then what?” I asked cautiously. 

“Then we get married.” Tommy said as he laid back in bed. 

“Are you asking or telling?” I teased which brought a smirk to Tommy’s face. 

“I’m prepared to ask, but Tommy Shelby doesn’t beg.” Tommy replied. 

“Then my answer is yes.” I said quietly as I leaned in and kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so appreciate all of you who continue to follow this story! I truly enjoyed writing this chapter, and hope you all enjoyed reading it. Let me know what you think! Do you like where this is going?


	18. Family Meeting

Family Meeting

“Family meeting!” Tommy called as he walked through the door to the family home. Polly was already seated at the table drinking tea when we arrived. A young woman with short brown hair sat beside Polly with a sleeping baby in her arms. “Where’s John and Arthur?” Tommy inquired. Polly pointed to the bettering shop without taking her eyes off me. Tommy left me standing awkwardly in front of Polly while he went to collect John and Arthur. The three eldest Shelby brothers reemerged and closed the doors to the betting shop behind them. In the time it took Tommy to collect his brothers, I hadn’t managed to speak a single word to Polly, nor introduce myself to the woman seated beside her. “Sit,” Tommy coaxed as he pulled a chair out for me to sit in. 

“What is the reason for this meeting Thomas?” Polly inquired, her eyes finally shifting away from me. 

“I’ve an announcement to make.” Tommy said before clearing his throat in a rare show of nerves. “You all know Rebecca.” Tommy he started. 

“I knew it!” John exclaimed with a chuckle. “I fucking win Arthur, pay up!” John said as he taunted Arthur. Arthur looked miffed as John clapped him on the back. 

“Shut up!” Polly scolded as she shot John a harsh look. “Thomas, what business does she have in this family meeting?” Polly asked. 

“She is here because we are getting married.” Tommy announced. 

“Like hell you are!” Polly yelled as she stood to her feet. 

“I told ya Arthur! He always had a soft spot for the barmaid.” John said as he returned to taunting his older brother. 

“No! Our bet was on them fucking. Nobody said anything about weddings.” Arthur protested. 

“Stand up.” Polly said as she approached my seat. I looked at the formidable Polly then back to Tommy. He nodded his head; his eyes silently told me that it would be wise to comply with Polly’s request. I rose to my feet and turned to face Polly as she closed in on me, her brown eyes scrutinizing me openly. Then she circled me slowly as she took me all in. “How far gone are you?” Polly questioned as she took my face in her hands. Her gaze even harsher than before, and now unavoidable with her nails dug into my cheek. 

“Polly!” Tommy warned. Polly held a hand up silencing Tommy. John and Arthur’s bickering over who had won the bet ceased as they turned their attention to Polly and I. 

“I know you’re with child. Now, tell me how far gone are you?” Polly asked again. The room was painfully silent as everyone’s eyes focused in on Polly and I. 

“I don’t know.” I replied honestly. 

“Everyone out!” Polly ordered sternly. Her eyes still locked with mine. Everyone made quick departures from the room without further protest. “Tommy, you’re smart. You always have been.” Polly said as she turned and pulled a cigarette from her silver case. “Please tell me you didn’t agree to marry this girl just because you loaded her with a bastard.” Polly said. 

“Fucking hell, Polly!” Tommy roared as his fists connected loudly with the table. His sudden outburst caused me to jump back, but Polly didn’t even flinch. “Yes, she’s pregnant, you confirmed it yourself. Yes, I agreed to marry her, but it’s not just because I fucked her.” Tommy said sternly as he eyed his aunt intently. He leaned over the table to close the gap between himself and Polly. “She scares you, doesn’t she Polly?” Tommy challenged. Polly scoffed in response to Tommy’s last statement.

“Go on Tommy. Marry her. Have your bastard. But let me be crystal clear, she has no place in this business from this moment forward. Do you understand me?” Polly shouted. 

“Why the fuck not?” Tommy replied sharply. 

“Because you love her! She’s your weakness, Thomas!” Polly fired back. She took another drag from her cigarette before proceeding. “If you think your enemies won’t use her or your bastard child to bring this entire organization to the ground then you really have gone soft in the head.” Polly replied flashing me a glance. Tommy remained silent as he absorbed her words; an explosion of anger waiting just below the surface. In a rare show of self-control, he pushed against the table, scooting it towards Polly. Their sparring match ending without another word. 

“Come on.” Tommy said as he took my hand and pulled me out the door. 

“Tommy! Thomas! Stop!” I practically shouted as he towing me down the street. With one final pull I freed my hand from his tight grip, which caused him to finally stop. Tommy turned on his heel, the adrenaline and fire still burning in his blue eyes. 

“What?” He snapped. 

“That could have gone better.” I replied. Tommy scoffed, his eyes quickly scanning the street. 

“Yeah, it fucking could have.” Tommy shot back as he placed his hands on his hips. 

“Who was the young woman with the short brown hair?” I asked, hoping a change of topic would help.

“Ada.” Tommy replied tightly. Tommy had told me all about the strife that stemmed from Ada and Freddie’s relationship. He told me how he nearly killed Freddie for getting his little sister pregnant. And although he disapproved of their union, Tommy had made a deal with Inspector Campbell to spare both Ada and Freddie when the Inspector was hell bent on arresting Freddie for his radical political ideals. I remember the pained look that was etched on his face the night Ada had given birth. Tommy maintained his innocence, but that didn’t stop everyone from blamed him for Freddie’s arrest. 

“Oh, the infamous Ada Shelby.” I replied. 

“No. She’s Ada Thorne now. She’s always making it a point to ensure everyone knows she’s no longer a Shelby.” Tommy replied, the pain flashing across his face momentarily. He worked quickly to light a cigarette in hopes I wouldn’t notice his pain. “So, still want to get married?” He asked as he blew out a cloud of smoke. I gave him a small smile. 

“It’ll take much more than a little argument to scare me off.” I replied. Tommy shook his head, a small smirk forming on his lips. 

“Argument? No. That doesn’t even come close.” He said as he led me down the street, this time at a more manageable pace. 

Despite the disastrous family meeting the day prior; Polly, Ada, John, Esme, Finn, and Arthur accompanied us to the church the next afternoon. I was both shocked and grateful when Tommy agreed to a private Catholic ceremony on such short notice. There was no time for special arrangements, or for us to wait for banns to be read. But for Thomas Shelby, Father Morgan was willing to wave a few of the usual requirements. It certainly was not what I had dreamed as a little girl. I thought that my father and mother would be by my side, and that I would get to wear a white dress made by mother. Instead, I wore a simple light grey dress with my lace prayer veil. Following the ceremony we walked to the Garrison to continue the celebration. Surrounded by family and friends Tommy looked so relaxed. He smiled and laughed openly for the first time in my memory. I must have shaken a dozen hands, each one offering their congratulations. While everyone else got busy drinking and being merry, I was out back vomiting. 

“You coming back in?” Tommy asked as he approached me. I held onto the wall with one hand while the other rested on my knee, bending over so that I wouldn’t vomit on my dress. 

“Yeah, it’ll just be a minute. Go back to the party. One of us ought to be there.” I told him. 

“Alright. I’ll send Ada or Polly out.” Tommy said. I nodded my head, which caused my vision to spin again. 

“Ask Polly if she has any Gypsy remedies that will make this stop.” I pleaded. In a matter of minutes, Polly stood beside me, her hand resting on my back. 

“Come on, up you go.” She said as she forced me upright. My vision spun yet again. “How long you been sick for?” She inquired. 

“Only a couple weeks.” I answered, still unable to open my eyes. Fuck – stop spinning. “Maybe a month or two.” I replied honestly.

“It’ll stop soon. Then you’ll go back to wanting him.” Polly informed me without much affection. I opened my eyes to find Polly’s stern brown eyes staring back at me.

“I think it’s passed for now.” I said with a long exhale. Polly nodded her head and turned to return to the party. “Polly!” I called. The Shelby matriarch stopped and turned, her eyes landing on me once again. “Why do you hate me? Have I done something to offend you?” I asked. My question brought a pained smile to Polly’s face. 

“I don’t hate you Rebecca.” Polly replied. 

“You had me fooled.” I shot back. My quick response only broadened Polly’s smile. 

“I admire you Rebecca. From what Thomas has told me, you’ve had a rough go of things. You have the instinct to survive. That’s good. But you will need more than instincts to survive in this family. You have to be smart, especially under pressure.” Polly said as she gave me a knowing look. My mind drifted back to my encounter with Inspector Campbell, and how much trouble my temper had brought on Tommy and his family. “Thomas is a complex man. He won’t admit it, but I know him better than anyone else. I understand the way he thinks. I know that he loves you. If he didn’t love you, he never would have married you. Lord knows Tommy could have paid to have things taken care of, he’s done it enough times before.” Polly commented. 

“What are you saying Polly?” I asked. With a sigh, Polly took hold of my shoulders, our eyes connecting again.

“You’re a lovely girl Rebecca. You have done everything Tommy asked of you, even when he had no right to do so. You would do anything for the man you love, and he would do anything to ensure your safety. It’s that simple.” Polly said. 

“So it’s because we love each other?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Let Tommy handle the business. He’ll make sure that you and your child will be safe, and you’ll want for nothing.” Polly promised. 

“Oi! Come back to the party. It’s your wedding after all.” Esme called in her thick accent as she stuck her head out the back door. 

“Thank you for your honestly Polly.” I said. Polly forced another uncomfortable smile before we both made our way back inside. When we returned I saw the boys drinking whiskey while Arthur drunkenly sang atop a table. I suppressed a giggle as some of them joined Arthur in the song. Polly and I sat down in a booth with Esme, Ada, and Karl. For a brief moment, my mind drifted to the growing baby in my belly. I wondered if it would be a boy or girl. Would the baby have Tommy’s devastating blue eyes, or would they be deep blue like mine? 

“You’re off with the pixies, ain’t ya?” Esme commented as she took another drink. I snapped my head toward her, leaving the thoughts of my child behind. 

“Yeah, it’s terrible as of recent.” I replied. 

“Wait til you have four of them running around, screaming like banshees all day and night. I can’t keep anything straight these days.” Esme said. 

“It’s called discipline Esme, give it a try once and a while.” Polly commented. Esme rolled her eyes and took another drink. 

“Mrs. Shelby,” Tommy called as he approached the table. 

“Gosh. That’ll take some getting used to.” I replied as a goofy smile spread across my face. 

“Get used to it. The whole fucking world will know by morning.” Ada commented. Tommy extended his hand, which I accepted gladly and stood to my feet. He shrugged his coat back on before leading me out the front door to the cheers of everyone left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to thank all of you who have followed this story faithfully, left comments and kudos. I will be working on the next chapter and hope to have it up by the weekend.


	19. The Aftermath

The Aftermath 

“Tommy, it’s perfect.” I said as we walked into the front room. Tommy had promised me a surprise, and a place of our own was no disappointment. It was down the street from the betting shop and across the street from Arthur. 

“Good, you like it.” Tommy said as he came up behind me. I felt one of his hands encircle my shoulders, while the other wrapped around my middle. I stood there savoring our first moments together in our new home. 

“Like it? I love it.” I replied enthusiastically. Tommy released me slowly as I moved to further investigate the house. It was simple and minimally furnished, but it had all the necessities. I made my way up the stairs and opened the first door on the left. “A bed that’s big enough for the both of us.” I chuckled as I pushed open the bedroom door. Tommy followed quietly behind me, his eyes never wavering. He leaned against the doorframe, a smile on his face as he watched me explore my new surroundings.

“I figured with the baby you would want the space. The rest of it could use some work. Just tell me what needs done. I’ll see it done.” Tommy said. 

“It’s a roof over my head. I have clothes on my back, and food to eat. What more could a poor Irish girl ask for.” I said as I moved to where he stood and wrapping myself around his lean frame. I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes, our eyes connecting once again. 

“No, you’re not just a poor Irish girl. Not anymore, Mrs. Shelby.” Tommy corrected as his fingers brushed lightly against my cheek before they danced their way toward the strands of my hair that framed my face. I smiled, but diverted my eyes down, feeling the guilt suddenly return. 

“I know you didn’t want it this way.” I said as I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Letting out a deep sigh, Tommy followed, and sat beside me on our new bed. 

“You’re right. I wasn’t planning on marrying you. Not right now at least.” Tommy confessed. “But none of that matters. Not now.” Tommy said as he took my hand in his.

“Polly and I talked after the wedding.” I informed him. Tommy nodded his head. 

“Was your conversation beneficial?” He inquired.

“She thinks I’m a weakness, a liability, for you and the company. Weaknesses are dangerous, aren’t they Tommy?” I asked remembering Polly’s words. 

“I will keep you safe. I will make you both safe.” Tommy promised. I found something new in his piercing blue eyes – a fierce love and protectiveness I had not seen in him before. He leaned in and planted a kiss on my forehead in an effort to ease my unsettled feelings. 

“I love you Tommy. I know I made some bad decisions in the past that have nearly cost you everything.” I felt a lump forming in my throat remembering the night Tommy almost lost his life because of my encounter with Campbell. “I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe. I don’t want to be your undoing.” I said as the tears formed in my eyes. 

“I know Rebecca. That is why you can’t be a part of the business like Esme.” Tommy said as he looked up at the ceiling, undoubtedly feeling the same uncomfortable tension I had been carrying around for days. 

“Stay out of the shop and don’t ask questions, right?” I asked as I attempted to hide the bitterness in my voice. 

“You can come to the shop if you need me, or to visit Polly. No one will bother you. But no questions, and I promise to keep you safe.” Tommy promised. After a moment of reflection I nodded my head, agreeing to his terms. I knew the rules were coming; Esme had warned me of that much. However, the forewarning did little to dull the pain of being cut out of the family business. “It’s time you had yourself seen to Rebecca.” Tommy said. 

“Alright,” I replied quietly. 

“I need you to do one more thing for me.” He said. I turned towards him, giving him my attention. “You can’t keep on at the Garrison either.” Tommy said. 

“What do you expect me to do all day? Knit?” I asked with an unamused laugh. 

“I cannot and will not have my wife working. Especially not with my child growing inside you.” Tommy replied firmly. He let out a sigh of frustration as he rubbed his face. “I don’t like this anymore than you, but this is the way it has to be. I need to know that you are safe.” Tommy said firmly. He didn’t mean to be cruel with his ultimatums, but he was behaving the only way he knew how. 

“I can’t be prisoner in the house Thomas.” I protested. Tommy flashed me an annoyed glance before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Fine. But you will stay where my men can see you.” Tommy ordered. 

“I’m your wife Thomas, not a child. I can take care of myself. I have a gun. You taught me how to shoot for heaven sakes.” I replied sharply. 

“Rebecca, please. Fuck. I hate it when you fight me.” He said as he rubbed his face with his hands before standing and moving to the window. “There are men out there who have no honor and they would do anything to undo me. Until the baby comes, all they have to do is get to you. Then they have leverage over me, over the entire fucking operation. And I can’t let that happen.” Tommy said before turning back to face me. 

“So what? You’ll just have me followed everywhere?” I asked. 

“You will be watched for your protection.” Tommy said. I nodded my head, allowing the room to fall silent.

 

The next morning Esme, Ada, and a two rather terrifying men arrived to escort me to my appointment. I never noticed it before, but Esme’s belly was already swollen with her first child. While Ada had already physically recovered from her own pregnancy. I peered down at Karl who was fussing terribly in the pram despite Ada giving him a light bounce. 

“Who are they?” I inquired as I locked the door behind me. 

“Your husband thinks we need fucking minding.” Esme replied without hesitation. Her fiery personality made some people, mainly Polly, crazy. She shot one of Tommy’s blinders an annoyed glare over her shoulder, which brought a slight smirk to my lips. 

“He does it because he cares. He won’t admit it, but he does. Sometimes.” Ada commented as we began making our way down the street. 

“How long were you and Tommy fucking before it happened?” Esme inquired once we had walked a ways. I looked sideways at Esme, shock and embarrassment written all over my face. “What? It’s a serious question.” Esme fired back.

“God. I don’t want to hear this.” Ada pleaded. 

“The first time was after I got shot that night in Sparkbrook. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. And now, I can’t say that I’m sorry.” I confessed. 

“With Thomas Shelby, nothing happens by chance.” Ada interrupted.

“Was it his good looks or his bad attitude that got you? I always wondered why women went for a man like Tommy. He’s always got that dangerous, don’t come any closer look to him. I’ve heard he’s a good fuck, so I guess that would do it.” Esme asked, earning her another sharp look from Ada. “What!” Esme shot back defensively. 

“You realize you’re talking about my brother. And not the one you’re married to, mind you.” Ada commented. 

“I can’t help it. It’s the baby, makes me crazy. All I can think about is sex.” Esme confessed. 

“It wasn’t anything like I imagined, you know my first time. But Tommy was nice. He made it feel right.” I said with a small smile. 

“Holy shit! You lost your virtue to Thomas Shelby?” Esme asked, stopping us all in the middle of the street. 

“Keep your voice down! I don’t need the whole world knowing!” I scolded Esme, a deep blush spreading across my cheeks. 

“It’s probably all the virtue Tommy has.” Ada teased, which made Esme burst into laughter. I shook my head at the two women. “Oh to be a woman in Birmingham.” Ada said with a sigh. As we continued, I tried my best to ignore the women who stood in the street and in their doorways gawking. My first outing as a Shelby was certainly earning me an uncomfortable amount of attention. After nearly a year of trying to be invisible, it felt awkward to be the center of so much attention. 

“You’ll get used to it. They just want to know what you look like. Eventually, they’ll stop staring at you and start clearing out of your way in fear of pissing the men off.” Esme reassured me. 

“I fucking wish.” Ada replied harshly. Tommy had told me of Ada’s struggles. Only recently had she been allowed to reunite with her husband, thanks to Tommy getting Freddie out of jail. “Here we are.” Ada said as she motioned us toward a house at the end of a street.

“Alright love, little bit of pressure here.” The midwife said as she spread my legs. I grimaced as my entire body tensed. Ada took my hand and stroked the back of my hand softly with her thumb. She flashed me a sorry smile, knowing full well that there was no way around the unpleasant aspects of womanhood. “All done dear.” The midwife said after a few minutes.

“So how far gone is she?” Esme asked from where she stood in the corner. Ada shot her a disapproving look. Esme shrugged her shoulders and shot a look back at Ada. The midwife smiled at Ada and Esme’s exchange. 

“When was your last monthly Rebecca?” She asked kindly. 

“Maybe a month ago. I really don’t remember. I’ve never been good with keeping track of it. Women don’t talk about things like that where I’m from.” I said as I pulled my underwear back into place. The midwife looked at Ada and then Esme before settling back on me. As I sat up, I felt everyone’s gaze falling on me. 

“I need you to be honest with me love. I’ve been doing this a long time. Long enough to know that you aren’t a month gone.” The midwife said. I looked to Ada, then back to the midwife. 

“I haven’t had a cycle since the heat wave at the end of the summer.” I replied. She nodded her head and scribbled it into her ledger. 

“I think you’re nearly three months gone, Mrs. Shelby.” The midwife said as she turned from her ledger. From the kind look in her eyes, I could tell that I wasn’t the first girl she had seen in this situation, nor would I be the last. 

“That’s good. It means the sickness will pass soon.” Esme chimed in. I sighed, feeling utterly embarrassed at my ignorance. It would be challenging to explain the baby coming so soon. How had I not known sooner? How had I not noticed?

“She’s right.” The midwife agreed as she turned back. “You’re in good hands Mrs. Shelby.” She assured me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the happy times while they last. Stay tuned for more!


	20. Praying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a glimpse into the blossoming relationship between Polly and Rebecca.

Praying  
Winter 1920

“It’s fucking freezing.” Polly commented as she pulled her black coat tight around her thin frame. 

“Oh come on Polly. It’s good to get out.” I said as I spread my arms and took a deep breath; allowing the cold air to fill my lungs. Damn the dreary weather! It felt good to be out of the house. My overly enthusiastic actions earned me a sideways smile from Polly as we entered the St. Mary’s church. 

“Tommy’s rules making you mad in the head?” Polly inquired as she shrugged off her black coat. Her eyes widened as I removed my coat and draped it over my arm. I followed Polly’s eyes down to my ever expanding belly; a small smile forming on my lips as I felt a swift kick. 

“You could say that.” I replied. I positioned my black prayer veil atop my head as I made my way to the inner doors. Polly and I paused momentarily to make the sign of the cross before proceeding. 

“No hiding that baby anymore I’m afraid love.” Polly said. I nodded my head. 

“I know. I just hoped it wouldn’t be this obvious until the spring.” I muttered. 

“But you are well, and the baby?” Polly inquired as we continued down the center aisle. 

“The baby is fine.” I replied before I knelt and made the sign of the cross. I attempted to stand with one hand on my belly and the other gripping the pew. Unwilling to stand by and watch me struggle; Polly took hold of my arm and pulled me upright before directing me to sit. 

“I think God would forgive you if you didn’t kneel.” She commented with a cheeky smile playing at her lips. 

“You think God will forgive another four months of not kneeling? I don’t look it, but I’m only five months gone Polly.” I joked. “Well, that’s the best guess the midwife could give me given my inexperience.” I said quietly. My heart instantly returning to the deep sea of guilt and shame. I had done anything and everything to get over the guilt that gripped my soul since the day I went to the midwife. I tried everything I could think of to appease my guilty conscience, which included begging for forgiveness from the Church. As time went along I began to feel an unquenchable, burning anger. I was angry that my family, friends, community, and church had been silent about the realities of life. Sure, I should have known better. I had seen it happen to plenty of other girls back home in Dublin. Sexual promiscuity meant exile, a lifetime of shame, on top of the physical burden of motherhood. Shame kept women and mothers silent; leaving the next generation to walk as blindly as the one before them. 

“Rebecca, love this is not your burden to bear alone.” Polly said as she turned and took my hands in hers. “I know how it tortures you. I can see it in your eyes, even when you think you’ve hidden it deep down inside yourself. Ask for forgiveness, pray, do whatever it is you have to move on.” Polly’s brown eyes staring knowingly into my deep blue eyes. 

“I’ve done all of that Polly! God won’t take this from me.” I replied tearfully. 

“Tommy should have known better. You can claim ignorance, but he certainly cannot!” Polly fired back as her temper flared. 

“Tommy tries Polly. We both are.” I replied.

“You’re a good girl Rebecca.” Polly said as she patted my hand. 

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you Polly.” I replied honestly. Polly squeezed my hand and flashed me a kind smile. I slowly managed to get down on my knees, which only made Polly shake her head at my persistence. We prayed in relative silence until it was time for confession. When the priest appeared Polly helped me to my feet, but not without another witty comment about my stubborn devotion to God. Afterwards, we braved the bitter cold once more as we made our way swiftly back to the betting shop. 

“My fingers are frozen.” I muttered as I shed my coat and made my way to the fire. 

“Maybe you should take up knitting. Make yourself a pair of mittens.” Polly teased as she went to work preparing tea. I shot her sideways glance as I took a seat at the table.

“Polly, I’ve acquired many skills since arriving in Birmingham but I’ll have you know that knitting is not one of them.” I chuckled. Polly placed two cup of tea on the table and took the seat beside me. I thanked her before taking the fragile teacup in my hands, hoping to regain some sensation in my frozen fingers. 

“I doubted that you had it in you to work for Tommy. I’m rarely wrong, but I’ll admit it just this once. I was wrong about you Rebecca. You’re a capable young woman.” Polly admitted. 

“In the spirit of honesty, I didn’t know I had it in me either.” I replied. 

“Have you thought of what you might like to take on after the baby is born?” Polly inquired. 

“What do you mean, take on?” I asked. 

“Surely Thomas doesn’t expect you to sit at home every day for the rest of your life. As the company becomes more legitimate you will have a prominent place, influence.” Polly replied.

“I think the only plans Tommy has for me is childbearing. Once this one comes, there will be plenty to keep me busy.” I replied as I looked down at my enlarged belly. Polly’s amused look faded to a rather pained one. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I expected it to happen at some point; maybe not quite like this. Please don’t think I’m unhappy Polly. I love Tommy and he loves me. I know it.” I told her. Polly nodded as she absorbed my words. 

“Do you worry that you’ll lose him to the business?” Polly inquired, her brown eyes connecting with my deep blue ones. 

“I suppose I should have expected it, but I never thought Tommy would cut me out. No questions. Nothing.” I replied with a sigh. 

“I find that Thomas has very little to talk about besides business.” Polly remarked as she pulled a cigarette from her silver case.

“You were right Polly. He is afraid, terrified even, that something will happen that is out of his control.” I replied. Polly exhaled, leaving us in a cloud of smoke. 

“I wish you could have met him before the war. Before all the smoke and mud fucked with his head. Oh could that boy smile, and that laugh.” Polly recalled as she looked off in the distance. My heart ached knowing I would never know all of Tommy. The man he was before had died over there in the mud and there was nothing anyone of us could do to bring him back. 

“There is more of him left than you think.” I replied. Polly tried to smile, her eyes still fixed off in the distance. As if on cue, Tommy entered from the betting shop. Polly and I turned our heads toward the sound of the closing door. Tommy’s piercing blue eyes softened at the sight of us, the corners of his lips curling up slightly.

“Hello,” He said as he squeezed my shoulder affectionately. “What are you doing here?” He inquired.

“It’s Thursday.” I replied with a smile. 

“Ah, yes, I forgot. Thursday.” He muttered as he turned his attention to Polly. “Pol, could I have a word?”

“What is it Thomas?” Polly inquired as she turned, but did not move from her seat. Tommy cleared his throat.

“Maybe it’d be best if we spoke in the shop.” Tommy suggested as he cracked the door open. Polly turned and shot me a brief look of annoyance before rising to follow Tommy. 

“What is it Thomas? It’s Thursday. I’m meant to be entertaining your wife.” Polly firmly reminded Tommy. It was always customary for Polly to have a couple hours off on Thursday afternoon for confession, but as of recent is had turned into the entire afternoon. 

“This way.” Tommy motioned Polly into his office. He closed the door behind them before taking his seat. “As company treasurer, you are aware of the benefits gained from our legal racetrack pitches.” Tommy said as he took the smoldering cigarette from the ashtray and brought it to his lips. Polly slowly slipped into the chair opposite of Tommy and crossed her legs. Her stern brown eyes narrowing on Tommy.

“Yes, I’m well aware.” Polly replied. Her mind easily drifting back to the day when Arthur, Tommy, and John shook down Kimber’s accountant. They forced the man to sign over all of Kimber’s pitches, or lose his eyes. The bloody ordeal left the poor man in a terrified silence. 

“If the business is to be 80% legal within two years, the company requires more space. A separate office for the legal aspect of business.” Polly nodded for Tommy to proceed. “Seeing as you are company treasurer, I need your authorization.” Tommy reminded her. Polly sat in a cold silence. 

“Alright Thomas.” Polly agreed. 

“I’ll see to the paperwork.” Tommy said as he resumed the paperwork left on his desk. 

“Is that all? May I go now?” Polly inquired, the irritation dripping from every word she spoke.

“Yes, yes you can go.” Tommy said as he waved her off. Polly rolled her eyes as she stood to her feet. 

“What should I tell Rebecca?” Polly asked from the door. Tommy’s blue eyes flashed back to Polly. 

“What?” Tommy asked, his words thick with frustration. 

“Should I tell her to wait or send her home with one of your minders, hmm?” Polly inquired. Tommy stared at Polly blankly. “Your wife! It’s nearly five o’clock Thomas. What do you want me to tell your wife?” Polly pressed. 

“Tell her to wait. Whatever you think is best.” Tommy replied as he waved Polly off and returned to his paperwork. 

“If you aren’t out there in one hour, I will drag you out of this office by your ear. If you’re so concerned about her safety, protect her yourself!” Polly spat harshly before closing the door firmly behind her. Tommy let out a sharp exhale as he rubbed his face with his hands. The weight of business and his newfound family responsibilities coming down heavily on his shoulder. But the threat of Polly’s wrath brought Tommy out of his office before the clock struck six.

“Are you ready?” Tommy inquired as he shrugged his long black overcoat on. I thanked Polly for the tea before standing to follow Tommy toward the door. He helped me with my coat before sharing a final knowing look with Polly. Her brown eyes challenging Tommy for reasons I didn’t understand. Tommy kept me close to his side as we walked silently down the darkened street. His hand never leaving the small of my back. 

As soon as we crossed the threshold Tommy and I fell into our routine. I silently took his coat and hung it on the rack beside my own. Then he removed his collar and rolled his sleeves up over his elbows before kneeling in front of the fireplace. He worked quickly and silently to light the fire while I went to work preparing dinner. Soon the crackle of the fire consumed the otherwise silent void. 

“How was your day?” I asked as I turned my head back to my work. 

“Fine.” He said as he approached me. I glanced over my shoulder, a smile pulling at my lips once I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist. “Did I make Polly cross?” He inquired. 

“Tommy, you always drive Polly mad. What makes you think today would be any different?” I replied with a chuckle. I could feel the smirk on Tommy’s lips as he leaned into my neck. His breath tickling the sensitive skin. I felt myself melt back into him as the desire rose within me again. 

“I thought you being there would soften the blow.” He replied playful. 

“Did I?” I shot back sarcastically. 

“No. I think that my interrupting your tea made her even more cross.” Tommy replied. I laughed, remembering the frustration written all over Polly’s face when she had returned from the betting shop. “I’d say she has a soft spot for you my dear.” Tommy said before planting a kiss on my neck.

“I don’t know what I would do without her Tommy. She says I’m strong, but I’m not. Not the way she is.” I replied honestly. The guilt, shame, and anger rushing back in all at once.

“Rebecca-”

“She walks around with confidence, confidence I’ve never seen in a woman before. She can make a grown man shake at the mere sight of her. Today, she asked me what I intended to do after the baby came. I know what I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her that I would be who I was before, that I would be back helping you.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “But I knew that’d only be a lie and I wouldn’t dare lie to her Tommy.”

“I know things haven’t been easy for you with everything that’s gone on the past few months. Be patient. This time next year, everything will be different. Everything is going to change.” Tommy promised. I slid my hands over top of his. My fingers instinctually twisting the gold band on his left ring finger. “I never promised you it would be easy being my wife. You came into this with your eyes open, as did I.” He said as he turned me around. His arms remaining tightly coiled around my waist as he leaned back against the edge of the table. 

“I know, and I don’t regret my decision. I just miss you.” I replied quietly. 

“And?” Tommy prompted. I slid my hands over his chest and allowed the warmth of his body to penetrate my cold fingertips. Tommy slipped his hands slowly up my sides until they were wrapped around my fingers. I looked up into his crystal blue eyes, which only made it more difficult to make the words come.

“You cut me out Tommy! I feel like I’ve lost a part of you, maybe even a part of myself. You brought out something in me, something I didn’t even know was there. I had never known such fear and freedom all at once. I don’t – no, I can’t lose it. And I can’t lose you.” I said as the tears welled up in my deep blue eyes. Tommy sighed, and his gaze softened as he absorbed my words. 

“What would you have me do Rebecca?” Tommy asked. 

“Let me come back to work.” I begged. Tommy shook his head. 

“No. My answer is no Rebecca.” Tommy said as he pulled away and stormed into the sitting room. 

“Tommy!” I yelled. Tommy turned on his heels. The intensity returning to his icy blue eyes. 

“What Rebecca?” Tommy fired back. 

“Just give me a reason. Tell me why!” I begged. Tommy shook his head. “Please!” I cried out in frustration. 

“Because you’re my wife!” Tommy roared. “That’s it Rebecca! You’re my wife, and I told you no!” He said as he closed in on me again. I squared my shoulders and sucked in my quivering bottom lip. 

“Fuck you Tommy!” I shouted in his face. Sensing the futility of our argument, I took my coat off the rack and turned the doorknob. Tommy gripped my elbow and spun me around. The force of his quick movements sent me tumbling backwards. Tommy slammed the door shut just as my back collided with the door. His breathing was erratic and his eyes were brimming with adrenaline. _I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have walked away without cursing him. ___

____

____

“Fucking hell Rebecca!” Tommy roared, unable to contain his anger any further.

“You’re afraid Tommy! I know you are so why not admit it, huh?” I fired back. His left eyes twitched, my challenging words further fueling his rage. 

“Tommy Shelby has no fears.” He shot back through his teeth. I scoffed. 

“Then let me go and do as I please! You taught me to shoot a gun for what reason? To protect myself. Polly believes in me. She thinks I’m capable. Trust me! Please.” I begged. 

“So now this is about what Polly thinks, eh?” Tommy muttered as he released me. He slowly moved toward the fireplace; his gaze fixated on the flames. “This does not concern Polly, or anyone else. I’m your husband Rebecca, and I say no.” Tommy said without turning back to face me. I stormed out of the room and up the stairs. I flung the bedroom door closed with all my might, which sent the picture frame on my bedside table tumbling to the ground. I sat on the edge of the bed with a frustrated sigh before bending to pick up the picture from amongst the shattered glass. The picture of Tommy and I sent a twinge of pain through my body. Unable to bear anymore sorrow, I turned the picture over on the bedside table before laying down and closing my eyes tight. The guilt, shame, and sorrow threatening to swallow me whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry it has taken me such a long time to update. I hope this chapter makes up for it though. As always, comments are so appreciated!


	21. Bury Me

Bury Me  
Early 1921

Tommy rose before the sun. Over the past month, Tommy had developed a terrible habit of going to sleep after the last call at the Garrison and then waking before the sun the following morning. He shaved and dressed in a crisp charcoal suit. He only paused briefly in front of the mirror in the hall to situate his cap atop his head before departing from the painfully silent house. The lengthy walk to the offices on Jamaica Street allowed Tommy to finish his first cigarette of the morning as he debated his rather unfortunate predicament. After a lucrative end to 1920, the early months of 1921 were proving challenging both personally and for business reasons. When Tommy arrived at the office, he found it dark and quiet. Following the chaos of war, Tommy relished the moments of silence and peace. But now it served as a reminder of how empty his life had become. The clock had yet to strike seven o’clock and Tommy already craved a drink to take the edge off. He sought out the liquor cabinet in his office and poured himself a brimming glass of whiskey before collapsing into his leather chair. He unlocked his top desk drawer and removed the documents left over from the day prior. The sight of the papers made Tommy’s head pound as his frustration boiled over. With a single violent motion, the documents took flight then slowly floated down onto the expensive carpets below. The door opened revealing Lizzie, who looked not the least bit surprised to see the mess Tommy had made. 

“Did you even go home last night Tom?” Lizzie inquired as she floated toward Tommy’s desk. 

“Yes.” Tommy replied tightly. He stood to gather the papers that were scattered on top of his desk, while Lizzie bent to gather the papers that littered the floor. 

“Why don’t you let me help? It’s what secretaries do.” Lizzie inquired as she offered him the papers from the floor. Tommy accepted the stack of papers from Lizzie before he slipped back into his chair. Tommy tried to hide it with the whiskey, but Lizzie knew Tommy well. She could see Tommy slipping back into the man he was right after he returned from France. He was truly worn down. Everyone had noticed and everyone worried. Especially Polly, who was exhausted from trying to hold him together. “You need help Tommy. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.” Lizzie said as she slipped into the chair opposite Tommy. She crossed her legs, which provided Tommy a glimpse of the creamy skin hidden under her blue dress. 

“Yeah? Where have I heard that before.” Tommy muttered as he worked to light a cigarette. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you of her.” Lizzie said as she forced an apologetic smile. Tommy leaned back in his chair as his blue eyes drifted off into the distance. “I suppose there is very little chance of that anyway.” Lizzie sighed. Tommy’s eyes snapped to Lizzie’s pale green eyes. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Tommy snapped. 

“You and I… we’re the same Tommy. We’re broken souls drifting through life, like a cloud of smoke. People might try, but there is no fixing us. We’re damned no matter what.” Lizzie said. Tommy turned back at Lizzie with an absent look in his eyes. “She is everything we’re not. She tried to be like us Tom, but in the end she couldn’t do it. She hoped that her God and all her goodness would change you. But you won’t ever change, will you?” Lizzie said. 

“You shouldn’t speak of things you know nothing about.” Tommy said, his eyes drifting to the sunlight shinning in through the window. 

“She loves the man she wants you to be.” Lizzie shot back. 

“Enough Lizzie.” Tommy barked. 

“Alright Tommy.” Lizzie breathed as she stood to her feet. “You know where to find me if you need me.” She said as she turned to leave. 

“I won’t Lizzie. I’m a married man.” Tommy said, his head turning to meet her pale green eyes. Lizzie scoffed, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the doorframe. 

“How could anyone forget.” She spat as she turned and quickly left the office. 

 

“Shh… Karl please. Just close your eyes.” I begged as I cuddled him closer to my side. I continued rocking side to side until finally his whimpering subsided and his eyelids fluttered shut. I had been up all night tending to Karl while Ada sat with Freddie. The poor girl, exhausted and sick with worry, remained at his bedside. Every time I succeeded in quieting Karl, I crept into the room only to find her unmoved from the last time I checked on her. Freddie’s frame had thinned, and his skin was pale from lack of nutrition. When he first took ill, Ada was able to feed him soup and give him sips of water; but now he was barely conscious. Freddie’s health had taken such a rapid decline during the four short weeks I had been in London. Despite Ada’s protest, I paid for a doctor to come assess Freddie’s condition. The doctor confirmed our worst fears, all the signs of influenza were present. He insisted Freddie be moved to a hospital where his condition could be more closely monitored, and prevent the further spread of the disease. But Ada would not hear a word of reason. Many a tragedies had separated Ada and Freddie over the years, and she could not fathom sending him away now. When Freddie further declined Ada begged the doctor to take him to hospital, for any medicine that would heal him. But it was too late. Freddie had already developed pneumonia in addition to his influenza. The doctor told Ada that there was nothing that could be done except to wait. 

“Rebecca! Rebecca!” Ada screamed from the bedroom. I placed Karl in his bassinette and rushed into the bedroom. I came around the bed to where she stood with tears streaming down her face. She raised a trembling hand to her mouth as she gasped for breath amidst her tears. 

“Ada?” I asked cautiously as I stepped closer. 

“He stopped breathing.” She choked out. She closed her eyes tight as muffled sob escaped her lips. “Oh God!” She cried out, collapsing into my arms. I lowered us both to the ground; Ada clutching my shoulders as the sobs shook her entire body. I held her close, barely keeping my own tears at bay. She cried for hours. The sobs continued long after her tears had dried up. “He’s dead.” She whispered hoarsely.

“Yes, yes he is.” I replied quietly. 

“What am I supposed to do?” She asked as she sat up. Her bloodshot eyes drained of all her usual determination and strength. 

“I don’t know.” I told her honestly. “I’ll phone Polly. She would know what to do.” I said. She quietly nodded her head, a forlorn distant look overtaking her beautiful face. I slowly made my way to my feet before leaving Ada to phone Polly. I made my way down to the street to find the nearest phone. In the silence of the telephone box I felt the true weight of the message I was about to deliver. With a deep breath I asked the operator to connect me. 

“Hello.” Tommy’s voice crackled in from the other end. The sound of his smooth Birmingham drawl threatening to steal the breath from my lungs. 

“Tommy… it’s Rebecca.” I managed to choke out.

“Are you alright?” He asked. There was a slight hitch in his voice as he spoke. As if he choked on his own worry. 

“Yes.” I struggled. My throat tightened as the tears rose. “Well, no. Tommy, I’m afraid I have bad news.” I said with a sniffle. “Uh… Fuck. Tommy there’s no easy way to say this. And I’m sorry to have to do it this way.” I said as I rubbed my face with my hand. 

“Then just say it Rebecca.” Tommy said. His voice evening out, but it was lower than before. 

“Freddie died this morning.” Just saying the words made the situation all the more real. 

“I’ll tell Polly.” Tommy replied tightly, his voice carefully guarded now. 

“I need help Tommy. I don’t know what to do here.” I confessed as the tears broke free. “I don’t know what to do.” I cried. I wiped the tears from my face in frustration. 

“I’ll be on the 3:30 train. I can be there before dark.” Tommy reassured me. 

“Alright.” I choked out. “Could you send Polly? I really think Ada needs her now.” I asked. 

“If that’s what Ada wants.” Tommy replied. 

“Thank you Tommy.” 

“I’ll see you soon.” He said before the call ended. I hung the receiver up and stepped back into the world. I walked back to the apartment in a daze. When I returned, I found Ada sitting in the floor, exactly where I had left her. Her face and gaze were completely blank. 

“Ada.” I called as I entered the room. She turned her head towards me, but I could tell that she was looking straight through me and not at me. “Tommy and Polly are on the way here. They’ll be on the next train.” I told her. She nodded her head, but I doubted she absorbed my words given her emotional state. 

“I appreciate everything you have done. But could I just be alone with him?” Ada asked softly, her eyes drifting back to Freddie. 

“Sure.” I replied quietly as I closed the door behind me. I collapsed into the worn-down armchair with a deep sigh. I looked over at Karl who was sleeping peacefully. My heart broke for the little boy who would grow up without a single memory of his father. I was blessed to have sixteen years’ worth of memories of my father to carry with me in my heart. It was a gift Karl would never have. 

By the time Polly and Tommy arrived, the sun had set beyond the apartment blocks and chimney stacks. Polly went straight to the bedroom. I had given up trying to lure Ada out after my numerous failed attempts earlier in the day. I just hoped that Polly’s firm kindness would be enough to pull Ada through this. Unlike Polly, Tommy stood in the doorway as if his feet were glued to the floor. I was astonished at how much he had changed in just four weeks. His perfectly tailored suit did little to distract from the dark purple circles that hung under his intense blue eyes. His blue orbs were filled with an intense but guarded pain; unlike anything I had ever seen before. Undoubtedly, he was drinking in excess and smoking like a train again. If I had known how much my absence would negatively affect Tommy, I never would have agreed to come in the first place. I thought space would benefit the both of us. He would have the freedom to focus on business matters, and I could help Ada during what turned out to be the worst experience of her life. I offered him my hand and a gentle smile, hoping to persuade him to come inside. He accepted hand, and allowed me to pull him inside. 

“Tommy,” I said as I squeezed his right hand affectionate. He stared down at me with his blue eyes overflowing with pain. In his state, I was surprised he was able to demonstrate such emotional restraint.

“I missed you.” He confessed as he leaned in. His lips landing softly on mine, as his hands made their way to my waist. The brief connection rejuvenated my tired soul. I leaned into him; craving the closeness we once shared. The closeness that had dissolved in my ocean of shame and guilt. 

“I missed you too.” I whispered as I leaned my head against his chest. I ran my fingers along the lapels of his black overcoat and inhaled his familiar scent. “Tommy-”

“No, Rebecca. We can discuss it later.” Tommy insisted. I nodded my head reluctantly as I stepped away from him. In the month we spent apart from each other, there wasn’t a single day that passed by when I didn’t think about him. Despite my deep longing for Tommy, I rarely wrote or telephoned him. I wrote to Polly with more frequency and details than I ever did Tommy. A decision I now regretted.

“Alright Tommy.” I agreed as I moved to sit on the couch. Tommy rolled a cigarette between his lips before striking a match to light it. He followed slowly, his eyes scanning the small rundown apartment before taking the spot next to me. 

“I’ve made all the arrangements. You can rest while we wait.” Tommy said as he exhaled. “Come on Rebecca. You’re exhausted.” Tommy said as he repositioned himself and patted his leg. I wanted to throw his comment back at him. But the emotional and physical exhaustion was just too much. With a deep sigh, I surrendered to the exhaustion and laid down on Tommy’s lap. We shifted awkwardly for a few moments as we both adjusted to a comfortable position. Not that there was any position that felt truly comfortable to me in my current state. I closed my eyes, unable to fight off the exhaustion any longer. “Have I ever told you, I like it when you leave your hair down?” Tommy whispered as he ran his fingers through my dark brown curls. I smiled, feeling more relaxed with each passing moment. 

 

Polly did not emerged from the bedroom until after the undertaker had taken Freddie’s body. Her eyes were as dark and withdrawn as the black dress that wrapped her thin frame. 

“I’ll stay here with Ada tonight.” Polly said as she pulled a black cigarette from her silver case. She carefully brought a match to the tip, a puff of smoke escaping her lips as she exhaled. “Have you spoken to her?” Polly inquired as she moved closer. 

“No.” Tommy replied as he gazed at the night sky. 

“She needs to be told Thomas.” Polly warned Tommy as she draped a blanket over my frame.

“I know.” Tommy replied as he continued smoking his cigarette. 

“Then why haven’t you told her?” Polly pressed. Tommy’s blue eyes flashed to Polly. His gaze matching the firmness of his words. 

“Trust me to do it when the timing is right.” Tommy said. Polly nodded her head before bringing the cigarette back to her lips. 

“Alright Thomas. But get to it. I want her fully informed before she steps off that train tomorrow.” Polly said. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy whispered softly in my ear. My eyes opened slowly as the sound of Tommy’s smooth voice faded in. 

“Was I asleep long?” I asked as I sat up slowly, feeling slightly disoriented. 

“Only an hour.” Tommy replied after checking his gold pocket watch. “We should be going.” Tommy said as he stood and smoothed his waistcoat. 

“I thought we were set to leave first thing in the morning?” I asked as Tommy helped me to my feet. He took another inhale before answering my question. 

“Polly will stay tonight with Ada and Karl. We can meet them at the station tomorrow.” Tommy explained. I was too exhausted to entertain the questions that began to circulate in my mind. I went to pack my bag while Tommy and Polly spoke in the sitting room. As I returned their conversation came to a swift end, leaving me with a suspicious feeling deep in my gut. We said our goodbyes, leaving Ada and Karl in Polly’s capable hands. 

“I thought you took the train?” I asked as Tommy helped me into the car before he took his seat behind the wheel.

“We did.” Tommy replied as he shifted into gear. “I borrowed it from a friend.” Tommy added. The guarded tone of his voice warned me against asking anymore questions about his friend or the car.

“It seems that circumstances have changed since I’ve been away.” I commented. 

“Yes.” Tommy replied without taking his eyes off the road ahead of him. He drove us toward the train station; into the bustling center of London, where the marquees bathed the streets in warm light. He stopped the car in front of the finest hotel that I had ever seen. I could hardly maintain a neutral face as I held onto Tommy’s arm and followed his cues. Circumstances had indeed changed in my absence. 

“Seems you’ve come up in the world Tommy. What else has changed in my absence?” I remarked as I moved slowly around the room, examining every fine finishing. Tommy smirked as he lit the cigarette between his lips. He removed his suit jacket; revealing the gun holster that sat over his waistcoat. “Not everything I see.” I replied as I pointed to the gun. 

“I promised you that things would change.” He said as he slowly approached me. His blue eyes gazing intently back at me as his arms snaked around my waist. “But in this world there will always be danger. Always be someone who wishes to hurt me or the family.” He said as he stroked my cheek lightly. 

“I know Tommy. I know.” I replied quietly, my eyes drifting away. I knew he was right. It was a risk, a condition, I accepted when I married Tommy. It came with the Shelby name. 

“I have a present for you.” He said. I shot him a skeptical look. His lips curled up in amusement as he pulled my present from his pocket. A small black box waited for me in his outstretched hand. “Go on. Open it.” Tommy encouraged. I slowly opened the box to find a gold signet ring with the letters RSE engraved. I pulled the ring from the box and examined it closer. 

“Tommy. I don’t know what to say.” I stammered as I looked from the ring to Tommy’s smiling face. 

“Rebecca Shelby you have my heart. And after this, I will never let you leave my side again.” He said as he took the ring from my finger and slipped it onto my right ring finger. I leaned in and pressed my lips firmly against his. My arms circling his neck as I tried to lose myself in him. His hands gripping my hips firmly as he pulled me in closer to his body. Both of us seeking the same comfort we desperately craved. He backed me onto the bed, before beginning to undress me. A month prior I would have protested his actions, but not this time. In my solitude, I had come to realize that guilt and shame over past decisions would only drive Tommy and I further apart. With a surge of courage I followed his lead. Our fingers worked quickly as we both tried to free one another from our clothes. Finally, we stood naked in each other’s arms with our clothes in a messy heap on the floor beside the bed. I stood naked before my husband; and for the first time since our wedding, I was unashamed. Tommy looked down at me, his bright blue eyes burning with desire. A desire he had suppressed after I rejected him time and time again. He took another step closer, his hands carefully guiding me down onto the lush comforter. 

“It’s going to be different.” I warned him as he crawled on top of me. He propped himself up with both arms, his bright blue eyes staring into my deep blue ones. 

“I expect it to be.” He replied softly as he leaned in and captured my lips. He softly caressed my breast with one hand while he supported himself with the other. His lips traveled down to my neck as a skillful hand slipped between my legs. I squirmed under him as the desire built with every swift movement.

“Tommy, I don’t mean to rush you.” I breathed as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my neck. “But I don’t think I can wait much longer.” I pleaded. He propped himself up with both arms. A confident smirk playing at his lips as he positioned himself. He moved slowly at first as he eased us both in before increasing his pace. It took more coordination than I remembered, but it ended with the same glorious sensation. The ecstasy washing over me as I reached my climax, and then again as Tommy finished. 

 

The next morning Tommy and I rose together before the sun. It pained me beyond words to put on the black dress I had packed for this exact occasion. I had hoped and prayed that I would not need it. As usual, there was rarely any fairness in death. God always took the good and the young first. It was a lesson I was all too familiar with. We boarded the train with Polly and Ada, who held a sleeping Karl against her side. 

“Rebecca, I have to tell you about something that happened while you were away.” Tommy said, breaking the silence that had lasted us almost the entire ride. He set aside his newspaper and leaned forward. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. 

“Yes?” I asked hesitantly. 

“There has been some trouble and you need to be prepared for it. I made a deal with a very powerful man, and now he’s come to collect his favor.” Tommy explained. 

“Who?” I pressed. 

“As I’m sure you know, the Irish are fighting amongst themselves. Some of the dissidents and their supporters in Birmingham have escalated. Churchill sent Campbell back. He is on the Irish desk now.” I stared back at Tommy, unable to formulate a reply. I felt completely paralyzed. 

“What will you do?” I asked slowly. Tommy looked out the window and sighed. 

“What I always do. Come up with a plan.” Tommy replied as he shook his head. The train came to a stop as we pulled into the station. Tommy took my hand as we stood, our eyes coming together once again. “Everything is going to be alright. Trust me.” He promised. I nodded my head and tried to convince myself that he was right. But the fear that lingered from my previous encounters with Campbell remained. I followed Tommy in a daze to the exit where one of the service attendants was helping passengers disembark. My heart stopped the moment I stepped down onto the smoke-filled train platform. The devil’s ears must have been burning. In the distance, amidst the thick smoke, stood Chester Campbell. 

“Tommy.” I gasped. Tommy’s eyes followed mine, his grip tightening when he saw Campbell approaching. 

“Mr. Shelby. I see a congratulations is in order.” Campbell replied as he looked me up and down. My heart began to race as my anxiety increased. I placed a protective hand on my belly. “You look well Ms. Murphy.” Campbell said as he fixed his gaze on me. 

“It’s Shelby. Mrs. Shelby.” I replied with all the confidence I could muster. Campbell sneered at me.

“You will have to excuse us Inspector. We have family matters to attend to.” Tommy replied firmly. 

“It’s Major Campbell. You would do well to remember that when addressing me in future meetings.” He corrected. “I’ll be in touch Mr. Shelby.” Campbell said as he tipped his cap and turned. 

“Tommy-” 

“Rebecca,” Tommy said as he cupped my face. The steady gaze of his blue eyes calming my nerves. “I need you to not say anything. Let’s just get through the funeral. We can deal with that fucker later.” Tommy pleaded with me. Despite my reservations, I agreed to Tommy’s terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments! In this chapter, I tried to give Rebecca and Tommy some happiness while still keeping it interesting. With the return of Campbell and a baby on the way, it’s about to get really interesting.


	22. The Parting Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rebecca and Tommy continue to clash when it comes to handling the turmoil in their lives. The IRA make their presence known.

The Parting Glass

“I imagined it would be worse off than this.” I said as I walked through the door. The house was surprisingly well kept; especially considering how poorly Tommy looked. 

“I hired a woman. She comes in twice a week. Her name is Marie.” Tommy replied with a sigh. 

“Well, let’s hope she wasn’t too thorough.” I said as I made my way up the stairs and into our bedroom. I opened my wardrobe, and stretched up on my toes to search for the box that held my gun and holsters. 

“Rebecca, what are you doing?” Tommy inquired as he appeared in the doorway. I ignored him and continued in search of my gun. “Rebecca.” He said again, his voice more cautionary now. I pulled the faded box from the top shelf and discarded the lid on the floor as I pulled the revolver from the box along with my holster. “No! Rebecca. What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?” Tommy fussed as he rushed to remove the gun from my hand. 

“If that devil is going to be lurking about in this city, the least you can do is let me protect myself. Let me protect our baby Thomas!” I replied sharply. I shot him a defiant look as I shrugged the black leather holster over my sweater before I yanked the gun from his hands. 

“Rebecca! This is not a wise choice. Listen to me.” Tommy said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. His blue eyes connecting with my wild ones. I pushed past him and made my way for the door. “Listen to me!” Tommy roared as he spun on his heel. “Would you just fucking listen to me?” Tommy pleaded. The desperation that dripped from his words brought me to a standstill. With a sigh I turned. 

“All I want Thomas, is to protect this baby – our baby. It’s not because I don’t trust you.” I replied as the tears rose. 

“It is not that simple Rebecca and you know it.” Tommy said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. His eyes level to meet mine. “You need to be very careful from now on. Not just for yourself, but for the baby. There is more on than you know about.” Tommy said. 

“Who’s fault is that Thomas? Tell me what I am supposed to be afraid of!” I fired back. I pulled away from him, unable to contain my temper. “I’m sorry. One minute I’m crying and the next I can hardly contain myself.” I admitted. 

“I do it for your protection.” Tommy replied calmly as he approached me. I held my hands up to stop him from coming any closer. If he took me in his arms now I would surely crumble. I was afraid, angry, frustrated, hurt, and helpless. 

“I’m your wife Tommy. Do you know how humiliating it is to be kept in the dark like this? To have my own husband, the father of my child, lying to me.” I said as the tears rose once again.

“I know, I’m not the perfect husband. I can be a fucking asshole.” He admitted. I shook my head as a tear ran slowly down my cheek. His fierce blue eyes softened as he cupped my face with his hands. “I need you to be safe Rebecca. I need the baby to be safe. I love you. Rebecca, if something happened to you because of me I would never forgive myself.” Tommy said, his own voice on the verge of breaking. 

“I love you Thomas.” I said. He pulled me into his chest with one hand on my back as the other weaved through my wavy curls. He kissed the top of my head before releasing me. 

“Everyone will be waiting for us. We should get on with it.” Tommy informed me. He gently wiped the tears from my face. 

“Alright.” I agreed. 

“Rebecca, the gun.” Tommy said as he held his open palm out in front of me. “You won’t need it. I promise.” I reluctantly handed over my revolver before shrugging the holster off my shoulders. 

“You’re fucking lucky that I love you Tommy.” I muttered as I made my way down the stairs.

“I consider myself quite lucky. I married a very beautiful Irish woman.” I heard Tommy’s voice vibrate off the walls as he followed me. The smirk was evident in his voice. 

“God help you.” I said barely able to contain my smile. 

We made our way to the Garrison where the family had gathered. The eerie silence was enough to steal the breath from my lungs as I made my way over to where Ada sat with Karl asleep in her lap. It had been a long time since the entire family was all in one space. It was a shame that it took someone dying to accomplish it. I took the seat next to Esme, opposite of Ada. Both girls sat in a somber silence. 

“What now?” I asked Esme quietly. 

“Shelby’s are better at the killing than what comes after.” Esme replied.

“What would you know about killing Esme.” Polly said as she came up behind us with a cigarette in hand. I looked up at her, but Polly’s brown eyes never wavered from Esme’s. There was a new tension between the pair. It left me to wonder what else I had missed during my extended stay in London. Eventually Esme wavered and turned her gaze back to the sleeping baby in her arms. 

“Back home the adults would drink all night long while they watched over the body. Sometimes we would sing.” I said, trying to break the tension that threatened to suffocate the entire room.

“That’d be a fucking sight.” Polly said as she went on smoking.

“Rebecca! Why don’t you bring us some whiskey for old time sake?” Arthur called from the table across the room. The glazed look in his eyes and the slight slur to his words brought a small grin to my face.

“Get up and get it yourself you lazy fucker.” John chuckled from the seat next to Arthur’s. Obviously, excessive amounts of alcohol was how Shelby men chose to deal with death. 

“Arthur!” Tommy warned his elder brother. 

“It’s alright Tommy. It’s just for old time sake.” I said as I stood to my feet and made my way over to the bar. Thankfully Arthur never rearranging the liquor; which made it easy to spot the bottle of Irish whiskey. I tucked the bottle under my arm and balanced the glasses between my two hands. 

“Can I try some?” Finn asked as he approached the table his brother’s occupied. 

“No!” Polly scolded from where she stood. 

“No. One beer and that is all.” Tommy said from his seat. Finn could barely contain his excitement. The bright look in his eyes made me smile. 

“Come on. I’ll get you one.” I said as I placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder. I was in the middle of pouring Finn a beer when the doors swung open, revealing a group of rundown young men. Ada’s eyes lit up at the sight of her old friends. 

“You came!” She said as she stood to her feet and made her way toward them. 

“Ada, who are these men?” Arthur asked as he stood to his feet. 

“Old friends.” Ada shot back. Her eyes flashed harshly between Arthur and Tommy. “It’s my husband who’s dead. I decide who gets to be here!” 

“Ada’s right.” Tommy reluctantly agreed. His sister was grieving, and Tommy knew that if he pushed her too far with his rules that she would leave. Polly had warned him of that much. “You can see that lovely woman with the last name Shelby about drinks.” Tommy said as he shifted his blue eyes to me. As the day progressed to night, more people came to offer their condolences and raise a glass to a departed friend. When more and more people arrived, Arthur joined me behind the bar. Given his intoxicated state, the nature of our conversation was rather interesting. As we continued to fill orders I almost forgot the reason we had all gathered. My heart felt lighter somehow. I found myself forgetting of all my troubles as the evening carried on. By the time the sun set the room was saturated with liquor; and the men fell into an rare somber silence. Being the only sober individual in the room, I made my way around the room collecting empty glasses from the tables. I hummed an old song from back home softly to myself as I weaved between the tables collecting glasses. I made my way over to where Ada sat with Karl asleep in her arms. 

“Do you want another drink?” I asked. Ada looked up briefly before diverting her eyes. 

“No.” She replied. 

“Ada, I can’t imagine what it is like, losing your husband. But you don’t have to go through this alone.” I said. A scoff escaped her lips. 

“You’re right, I’m not alone. I have Karl.” She said as she caressed her son’s chubby cheeks. 

“You have family here.” I told her kindly. 

“I’m not a Shelby, and now I’m not a Thorne either.” She spat bitterly. 

“Rebecca,” Polly called as she approached the table. A sad knowing look in her brown eyes. “Tommy wants to speak with you.” She told me with a nod. I turned to find Tommy and John locked in a heated debate. The intense nature of their conversation told me that Polly’s words were just a lie. Most likely it was a quick excuse to get me away from Ada. 

“Can I get you boys another drink?” I asked as I walked up to the table. Tommy and John turned, the intensity of their conversation visible on John’s face. Tommy leaned back and brought his cigarette to his lips.

“No, thanks.” John replied as he stood and left the table. 

“What was that about?” I asked. 

“Difference of opinion.” Tommy replied with a confident nod of his head. “Oi! Arthur! I think you’ve worked my wife long enough. This is your pub; I’m sure you can manage the cleanup.” Tommy said as he stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. With some reluctance, I handed my apron back to a now sober Arthur.

“You come back anytime you want.” Arthur told me with a small smile. 

“Thanks Arthur. I had a nice time, given the circumstances.” I said as Tommy directed me toward the door. 

 

The next morning, we stood under the grey Birmingham sky at Freddie’s grave. Everyone’s guard was up, especially Ada’s. She managed to maintain her stoic façade as she cuddled Karl close to her chest. She only shed one tear, and that was after Tommy spoke kindly of the agreement he made with Freddie while they were in France. From where I stood between Tommy and Polly, Ada appeared almost emotionless. Since arriving back in Birmingham, she had closed herself off from everyone except Polly. Most of the time, Polly followed behind her telling people not to take it personally. It hurt that I could scarcely get her to say more than a few words to me after living with her for the past month. Perhaps I served as a terrible reminders of what had happened, or maybe it was the reminder that I was married to Tommy that drove Ada and I into a silence. Polly told me to give her time, and that she would come back around when the dust settled. 

After the graveside service everyone began to disperse, but some of Freddie’s old friends lingered to talk quietly amongst themselves. I waited with John’s children and Esme who was trying to quiet the fussy baby in her arms. Tommy walked off with Ada, only to be joined by Polly moments later. The rumble of a motorcycle drew my attention away from Esme. I watched Arthur move swiftly from the man on the motorcycle over to where Tommy stood. Tommy’s blue eyes snapped up, connecting with mine instantly, before he turned his back to speak with Polly. Even after all this time, those blue eyes could steal my breath away no matter the circumstance. 

“Arthur, take my wife home!” Tommy ordered as he made his way to the waiting car.

“Tommy! What’s going on?” I asked as I rushed up to the car. 

“Business. Arthur will take you home. Put the kettle on and wait for me, eh?” Tommy said as he kissed my cheek quickly before climbing into the car next to Polly. Polly’s brown eyes landing sadly on mine for a brief moment before they left. 

 

When Tommy and Polly arrived at the Garrison, only to find it in ruins, Polly was filled with questions. Tommy maintained his controlled cool exterior as he examined what remained of the structure. He gave no indication that he was caught off guard. Tommy slipped Moss a few bills to close the investigation, saying it was a gas and electric malfunction. Then Tommy made his way toward the Black Lion, the hot bed of Irish action as of recent. The green confetti. Campbell’s assignment to the Irish desk, and his sudden return to Birmingham. All the signs were there. 

“Which one of you’se the Peaky Blinder devil?” A little boy asked from the staircase. Tommy tipped back his whiskey and emptied the glass before following the boy up to the street. He followed the boy through the smoke filled back alleys into an empty slaughter house where he was greeted by two men. They stripped him of his gun and cap before hooding him and leading him away. When Tommy regained his sight he found himself across the table from a man and woman. 

“Thomas Shelby.” The red haired woman spat with disgust. Her thick Irish accent confirmed Tommy’s suspicion that the Irish rebels were behind the trouble.

“You blew up my pub.” Tommy replied tightly as he stared down the woman in front of him. 

“You left us no choice.” She replied.

“You blew up my pub.” Tommy repeated, his eyes and voice level. 

“Tommy has a reputation to uphold.” She informed her companion. 

“You wanted my attention, well you have it. So why don’t you start by telling me what side of this disagreement you are fighting for? For the treaty, against the treaty... It’s all so fucking confusing.” Tommy asked in a rather nonchalant manner. The man pulled out an old revolver and pressed it to Tommy’s head. 

“This is how it’s going to go Mr. Shelby. You are going to keep your dirty Gypsy mouth shut and listen to your instructions. If you do not, there will be consequences.” The woman told him. Tommy fought off a smirk when he felt the pressure of the gun release from his temple. 

“Your name is Irene O’Donnell. Your son's name is Sean-”

“You have a wife named Rebecca Elizabeth O’Neill, or Murphy, depending on if which record you are looking at. She is pregnant with your child. It would be a shame for your baby to grow up without a father… or a mother.” Irene threatened. Her voice was as level as her eyes, which sent Tommy’s mind spinning. “Your threats mean nothing to me, Mr. Shelby. If you do not do exactly as you are told, it will be you who is dead, not me.” Tommy’s heart began to beat wildly inside his chest. It grew persistently louder, until he could hear his pulse in his head. 

“You leave my wife out of this!” Tommy shot back. His eyes flashing between the man and woman in front of him.

“Then do as your told Mr. Shelby.” 

 

It was half past one o’clock in the morning when I heard Tommy’s tired footsteps on the stairs. I sighed as I closed my eyes, finally feeling calm enough to close my eyes now that Tommy was home. 

“Tommy,” I called softly into the darkness. 

“Yes Rebecca?” Tommy replied wearily. I listened to the rustle of his clothes as he undressed in the darkness. He sat heavily on the side of the bed and kicked off his boots. 

“What happened?” I asked as I slowly sat up and laid a reassuring hand on his bare shoulders. My heart sank when I felt his muscles tense under my hand. 

“Rebecca,” He warned. 

“Was it a bomb?” I persisted.

“If anyone asks, it was the gas and electric. That’s what the police will say.” Tommy replied stiffly. His guard was up, and the slight tremor in his hands had returned. In my heart, I knew that something far worse than the Garrison being blown up was the cause of his behavior. 

“Tommy,” I said as I moved to sit next to him. “I know it’s more than that. Tell me.” 

“No.” He replied firmly, his eyes gazing out into the darkness of our bedroom. “Things have changed. Everything has fucking changed after tonight. From now on, the less you know, the safer you are.” Tommy said as he clasped his hands together, trying desperately to calm the tremor . 

“Tommy. Tell me what the fuck that means. Tell me now!” I insisted. His head turned, our eyes coming together in a mixture of fear and love. 

“I’m going to take care of it, but you have to stay away from this. You have to promise me that you will not try to involve yourself. Promise me.” Tommy begged as he reached up to my face. His fingers bringing my face closer to his. “Promise me.” He begged again as his voice broke. 

“I promise.” I replied quietly as the fear crept in. I laid down and turned to face the wall. Tommy slipped beneath the sheets and pulled me back to his chest. “I’m afraid Tommy.” I confessed. His arm wrapped around my belly and pulled me into him. A sigh escaping his lips as he nestled his chin on my shoulder. 

“I know.” He muttered against my skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have lots of ideas about how this is going to end. But I’m so torn. Happiness? All out destruction? There are just so many options. It’s making writing very challenging for me; especially because I have to make a plan to end this story at some point. Thank you to all of you who have shown your constant support!


	23. London

London 

“Tommy, are you sure you want me to come?” I asked as we made our way down Watery Lane toward the betting shop. 

“It’s a family meeting Rebecca. Your last name is Shelby, therefore you have a right to be there.” Tommy replied with the cigarette still hanging from his full lips. I sighed, feeling rather dissatisfied with his answer, but continued along. Although I would never admit it, every day it was more challenging to keep up with him. Six months pregnant was everything but glamorous. It seemed that the baby had run out of room to grow out in front of me, and as a result my hips had taken on the burden. The excess weight of carrying a baby around everywhere only added to the plague of fatigue. When my feet disappeared from view, I vowed that I would not be like other woman and be pregnant before weaning my first born. My thoughts came to a halt when Tommy opened the door to the betting shop and ushered me inside. As I enter the shop I noticed everyone was present, except Ada. Her absence wasn’t surprising. Immediately following Freddie’s funeral she took Karl back to London. In anger or grief, she swore that she would never come back. I caught a glimpse of Polly, who stood in the corner with a black cigarette between her fingers. Her brown eyes beckoning me toward her. 

“Hello.” I greeted. 

“Hello,” She replied wearily. Her usual fire seemed all but gone from her voice and dark eyes. I looked up to Polly who shook her head.

“What’s the matter?” I asked quietly. She sighed as she rolled her eyes before eventually making eye contact. 

“Do you ever just wanna leave this place?” She asked. 

“No… at least not anymore.” I replied honestly. 

“I wish we could go out on the road and leave all this behind.” She said as she looked out into the smoky room. It was as if she could see her dreams passing her by on the clouds of smoke. “Family meetings mean more business. Your husband is never fucking satisfied.” Esme spat as her brown eyes flashed my way. I nodded before stepping away from her. I moved across the room to where Polly stood. I tried with all my being not to take offense to Esme’s strong words against Tommy. She was right. He never settled; he always saw room for more. His mind was complex foreign place to most. But at the end of the day, I trusted Tommy because I loved him. 

“Hello Pol.” I said as I leaned against the wall. She looked sideways at me. 

“Rebecca,” Polly greeted tightly. “You should have come when I called you. Could have saved you the trouble.” She told me. I resisted the laughter that rumbled up into my throat. 

“Maybe you should say something next time Polly. You know, I’m not Gypsy. I’m not good at reading signals or minds, or whatever it is you call it.” I replied with unbridled sarcasm. Polly shook her head as she fought off a smirk. 

“You should sit down. This is going to take a while.” She nodded toward an empty chair. With the growing pain in my feet and ankles, I needed no further encouragement. I slowly lowered myself into the chair, using the table to brace myself on the way down.

“Alright, I know you all want to know why I called this meeting.” Tommy started after he lit another cigarette. The room fell silent as everyone turned their attention to Tommy. “As you all know, Shelby Company Limited has become very successful. But there can be more. That is why we will be expanding all the way to London. So here’s the-” Tommy announced. 

“Tommy, I’ve seen the books, legal and otherwise. Isn’t it enough?” John interrupted. Tommy squared his jaw. 

“If you have an objection to furthering the success of this company John, then let’s hear it.” Tommy challenged. 

“When did we take a vote on this expansion, huh?” John replied. Tommy took a drag of his cigarette, allowing the smoke to calm his annoyance. 

“Anyone else have objections?” Tommy asked as he scanned the room. Esme stood from where she sat on the stairs and stepped into the room. 

“Oh fuck.” Polly muttered behind me.

“London is a mistake Thomas! This will only bring more trouble. As if we haven’t had enough of our own as of lately. And as a wife and mother, I want my husband to see his child grow up. I’m sure your wife feels the same way.” Esme said. Tommy nodded his head as he grit his teeth. 

“Don’t you ever speak for my wife again!” Tommy snapped, his piercing blue eyes burning a hole through the center of Esme’s spirit. “Anyone who lacks ambition, there’s the door, get the fuck out now! Everyone else the expansion starts tomorrow.” Tommy bellowed. I saw Esme look at John with pleading eyes, but John did not move. 

 

I awoke to a loud banging at the door. The banging continued as I shrugged my robe on and made my way down the stairs in the dark.

“Rebecca, it’s Arthur! Open the door!” Arthur yelled as he continued to beat on the door. Arthur entered as soon as I moved the latch. He paused for a moment, trying to steady his breath before speaking. 

“Arthur, what is it?” I asked as the fear crept up. Tommy sent me home with two of his minders, and had yet to return home. Late nights were not terribly unusual, but that did little to curb my current fears.

“Tommy’s been hurt. Some men from London got to him. He’ll be alright, but he’s in a bad way.” Arthur promised. I felt lightheaded and grabbed Arthur’s arm in an attempt to stay on my feet. Arthur wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me. 

“Take me to him Arthur. Now.” I demanded as my head continued to spin.

“I will. I promise.” Arthur said. Returning to my bedroom, I quickly pulled on the dress I laid out for the morning. I threw open the wardrobe and frantically pulled my leather holster and gun from the hook. I left my wavy locks as they were, not wanting to delay our departure any further. Arthur helped me with my coat before escorting me into the waiting car. When we arrived at the hospital John was waiting, which did little to curb my fear. Seeing the fear in my eyes, John brought me into a brief hug. 

“He’s out of surgery, but he’s still unconscious.” John reported. 

“Where is he?” I asked. John looked to Arthur. “John, where is he?” I asked again.

“Rebecca, he’s in a bad way. It wouldn’t be a good idea for you to see him now.” John urged. I pushed him out of my way and I took off down the hallway. I had no idea where I was going so I started looking in every ward I passed. Gazing in through the small window in the door, I saw one man tucked in the bed closest to the window. His face was horribly distorted and his chest was wrapped in bandages. There was more cuts and bruises than untouched skin left on his face. The sound of the doors opening caused the nurse to look up from her papers. The shock was written all over her face at my late night intrusion. 

“Miss, you can’t be here.” She said politely. I ignored her, my eyes remaining fixated the man in the bed. 

“That’s my husband.” I whispered as the realization set in. It was Tommy.

“I’m sorry. You’ll have to come back in the morning.” The nurse persisted. 

“No!” I snapped as I pulled my gun from its holster and pointed it at the nurse. The nurse backed away, and eventually left the room, leaving me alone with Tommy. As I approached his bed, I could scarcely tell if he was alive or dead. He was so still, his chest barely rising as he took a breath. The damage to his face made my stomach churn. “Tommy,” I whispered as I dropped to my knees next to his bed. Taking his hand in mine, I gave it a squeeze, but he didn’t stir. “Please live.” I begged him quietly. Allowing the tears to consume me, I buried my face in the blankets to muffle the sobs that escaped my lips. When my tears finally slowed, I was too exhausted to rise from my knees. I didn’t want to leave him, so I held his hand and laid my head on the starched sheets. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy called hoarsely. I opened my eyes to meet one of Tommy’s piercing blue eyes. Instantly, the relief washed over me. I said a silent prayer, thanking God that he had survived the night.

“Tommy,” I whispered as I reached up and touched his bruised face. 

“How did you find me?” Tommy asked. 

“Arthur,” I replied simply. The morning light revealed more bruises on his face and abdomen. “Tommy, who did this to you?” I asked, my heart full of pain and sorrow. 

“Rebecca, you know I can’t tell you that.” Tommy replied. He gazed at me through one good eye and one swollen one, taking in my rather disheveled appearance. My wavy locks hung around my shoulders, some of the pieces covering the scar on my face. Using his right hand, Tommy tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear exposing my bare face. “You’re so beautiful.” He commented as he pulled his hand slowly away from my face. 

“Promise me you will get well.” I pleaded.

“I’m going to see this baby born.” Tommy promised. I nodded my head; the tears pricking my eyes as a small smile formed on my lips. Tommy flashed me a grin as his eyes fluttered shut again. 

 

Tommy sat behind his great oak desk with his eyes fixated on the papers that laid before him. Since returning from London in the early morning hours Tommy’s headache had not eased in the slightest. The impending arguments did little to help his cause. The double doors swung open as Arthur and John barreled into the small office. Tommy lifted his eyes, revealing the partially healed cuts and bruises that scattered his face. 

“The fuck Tommy!” Arthur bellowed as he barreled into the room like a lose cannon. 

“Hello Arthur. Lovely to see you.” Tommy replied sarcastically as he returned to scribbling on the paper in front of him. Stepping forward, Arthur’s fists collided with the solid wood desk. Tommy refused to give Arthur the satisfaction of looking up. 

“Did you meet with Alfie Solomons! Yes or no?” Arthur persisted. Tommy set his pen on the desk before he slowly leaning back in his chair. Tommy’s icy blue eyes landed steadily on Arthur’s. 

“Yes, yes I did Arthur.” Tommy replied as he continued to glare at Arthur. Arthur’s breathing became erratic as the pair continued their standoff. 

“Fuck!” Arthur yelled as he pushed away from the desk. He turned and rubbed his face harshly with both hands. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Do you know what this means Tommy?” Arthur asked.

“Don’t you think we’ve got enough on Tommy? Sabini, London, your fucking wife!” John questioned. Tommy shot John a warning look. 

“Some of us have ambition John boy.” Tommy replied tightly. 

“Why bring the Jew into it? The Jews and the Italians are at war! Tommy, what the fuck were you thinking taking sides?” Arthur said. 

“What would stop Solomons from starting a war with us after we take out Sabini for him?” John asked. 

“That’s it John.” Tommy said as he stood to his feet. “When we take London we want to have allies, not enemies.” Tommy said as he came around the desk. Arthur paced the floor as he processed Tommy’s statement. 

“So what’s the plan?” Arthur asked after a while. Tommy smirked as he clapped Arthur’s shoulder. 

“I struck a deal with Alfie Solomons that is mutually beneficial. If Solomons wants to export under our license, he will hold up his end of the deal.” Tommy said looking back and forth between an angry John and Arthur. 

“The fuck you talking about Tommy?” Arthur rumbled. 

“Courtesy of Mr. Churchill himself.” Tommy replied proudly as he produced an official export license. Arthur and John stared back at Tommy. Their looks a combination of awe and confusion. “Look, we made our move on Sabini’s clubs. He knows we’re coming for him.” Tommy said as he pulled out a cigarette and began to light it. “So, let’s make a plan.” Tommy said as the cigarette smoke filled the room. 

 

A runner knocked on the door near noon, his message was simple – Tommy had returned. I ripped my coat off the hook and set off toward the betting shop. The two minders Tommy had assigned to me before leaving for London, along with the runner followed as I made my way down the street at breakneck speed. I roughly shrugged my coat over my shoulders just before I made it to the shop. My mind was racing just as fast as my feet. The fucking bastard discharged himself from the hospital and took off to London. His only message was for Polly – she was in charge. Fuck him. I flung the door to the betting shop open causing the handle to crash into the exposed brick on the wall. The loud thud gained the attention of the men in the shop.

“Where is he?” I called from the doorway. The men stopped their work, looking amongst themselves, but no one stepped forward to answer my question. “Where is my fucking husband?” I demanded as I threw the door shut behind me. 

“Hello Rebecca.” Tommy called calmly as he emerged from his office. He removed the cigarette from between his lips; his confident mask firmly in place. Except for a few healing cuts and bruises, the injuries had all but disappeared from sight. “Everyone back to work.” Tommy said as he waved me toward him. I marched into his office, my breathing ragged from the overexertion. 

“Where do you get off Thomas? Discharging yourself from hospital and going to London! You didn’t even tell me! I’m your wife!” I yelled. Tommy’s lips crashed on mine, his hands bringing me in to his body. I brought my arms up and pushed firmly against his chest. My blue eyes filling with the sadness and fury held in my heart. 

“I was in London for a day. It took four days to get there and back.” Tommy informed me. 

“I don’t give a fuck!” I shot back. 

“I think you do. That’s why you’re here.” Tommy replied as he took another drag from his cigarette. 

“I do care, about you Thomas! But it’s obvious you don’t give a fuck about me. I had to sit around waiting for you with no news, scared to death!” I said as I turned my back on him. 

“I had business. It couldn’t wait.” Tommy replied firmly. 

“You had time to leave a message for Polly, but not your wife.” I whispered as the tears crept up. 

“I told you this is for your own safety. You have to stay away from this.” Tommy repeated. If I heard him utter that stupid excuse one more time I would punch him straight in the nose. 

“Alright Thomas.” I replied tightly. 

“You can wait here for me to finish.” Tommy said as he pressed a kiss to my head before he left me alone in his office. I closed my eyes and prayed that the anger would go away. As soon as Tommy closed the door, he moved toward the three men waiting by the door, two of which he had personally assigned to watch over his wife.

“How long has my wife been running around with a gun? Huh?” Tommy questioned them harshly. The two men looked at one another before diverting their eyes to the floor to avoid the intensity in Tommy’s blue eyes. “Oi!” Tommy yelled as he grabbed both of them by the throat and pushed them up against the door. “Have you been watching her at all? How fucking long!” Tommy demanded as he squeezed their necks harder. 

“Thomas!” Arthur called cautiously. Although Arthur understood Tommy’s rage, he couldn’t allow his brother to kill two of his men in front of a room of customers.

“How long!” He yelled again as he laid all of his weight into the two men. They continued to squirm against Tommy’s weight as they gasped for air. 

“Since you left.” Polly replied as she marched into the room. Tommy released the two men from his vice grip. Both of them fell to the floor as they gasped for breath and clutched their bruised necks. Tommy turned to meet Polly’s firm gaze. “Your absence left her feeling vulnerable. She did what you taught her to do a long time ago – protect herself.” Polly told him harshly. 

“Don’t let them out of your sights. I’m going to deal with those two fuckers myself.” Tommy told Arthur before turning back to Polly. “Come here.” Tommy demanded as he marched off. 

“What the fuck are you looking at! Get back to it or get out!” Arthur bellowed. The workers and patrons who had stopped to watch quickly returned to their business. 

“How could you let her do something so fucking stupid?” Tommy pressed once they were within the privacy of the vault surrounded by their money. Polly’s brown eyes filled with anger. 

“How dare I? How dare you Thomas!” Polly fired back. Tommy scoffed. “She is your wife! You should have taken the gun away from her if you didn’t want her to have it!” Polly said. 

“I left her with two armed men. What the fuck did she need a gun for?” Tommy fired back. 

“Perhaps you should have stayed to protect your wife rather than going to meet Solomons! Maybe you should have fought one battle at a time! I don’t know. Go on fucking holiday!” Polly challenged. Tommy shook his head. 

“I did it to protect her, Polly. Everything I do is to protect her and the baby.” Tommy replied tightly. 

“I know.” Polly said. Her anger and sympathy mixing in a way Polly found very displeasing. 

“I love her Polly.” Tommy said softer than before. Polly laid a hand on his shoulder. Tommy looked down into Polly’s brown ones.

“Then do it. You have my blessing.” Polly replied. 

 

At the end of the night Tommy locked the shop, leaving Polly inside to finish the counting. The winter air cut through me like a knife. With every breath my lungs burned. I buried my hands deep into my pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. There was no escape from this fierce wind. Tommy kept me close to his side, providing some of his own body heat to keep me warm. As we rounded the corner I noticed a man approaching. I felt Tommy pull me in closer to his side as the man came closer.

“Keep walking.” He whispered as his hand moved from my waist to his gun. He removed it from the holster but kept it at his side. I thought Watery Lane was safe. Only Peaky Blinders lived here. But Tommy’s response to this dark figure led me to believe otherwise. 

“Tommy.” I whispered as I gripped Tommy’s arm. 

“Thomas Shelby?” The figure asked as he came to a stop. What was an Italian doing in Watery Lane? Then I saw the glint of the knife in the man’s hand. Tommy stepped forward, shielding me behind him, before he pulled the trigger. I watched as the pool of blood began to spill onto the concrete. Blood sprayed from the man’s mouth as he coughed and gasped for breath. I turned away, unable to watch him struggle for his final breath.

“Who sent you?” Tommy yelled as he stood over the man, his gun ready to fire another shot. The man sputtered, but died without providing an answer. Tommy huffed as he stepped away from the man. His expression softened once he turned and saw the shock written all over my face. My heart fluttered wildly as he pulled me to his chest. 

“Tommy,” I whispered in shock. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and my breathing increasingly erratic. 

“Are you alright?” He asked as he lifted my face up. His perfect mask cracking momentarily to reveal his panic.

“Yes, just scared.” I replied. 

“Alright. Let’s get you home.” Tommy said as he turned us towards home. 

“What about the man?” I asked. 

“I’ll deal it. Let’s just get you home.” Tommy said as he placed a hand on my lower back. My feet felt heavy, and without Tommy to propel me forward I would still be frozen in front of the dead Italian. 

“Chuck him in the cut.” Tommy said as he stood in front of the body on the sidewalk. He continued smoking his cigarette as two young men struggled to pick up the bloody body. Tommy exhaled, letting his arm fall to his side as he took in the scene. His mind moved to Sabini and his extensive network of strong men. Tommy expected for Sabini to strike back, but never in such a bold manner. He sent someone into the heart of Small Health – to Watery Lane. It was a suicide mission. But what bothered Tommy most was that Sabini’s men would be willing to harm his wife – his pregnant wife. This broke every rule. 

“What happened?” Arthur asked as he approached Tommy. 

“I shot an Italian.” Tommy replied as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. His tone revealing none of the fear he felt for his wife and unborn child. 

“Why the fuck would you go doing something like that?” Arthur asked as his temper flared. 

“He pulled a knife on my pregnant wife, Arthur. The fuck was I supposed to do, huh?” Tommy shot back. He let out a sharp sigh, barely maintaining his composure. “I think he was one of Sabini’s men.” Tommy replied as he continued to smoke his cigarette. 

“Fucking hell. You really done it this time Tommy.” Arthur muttered under his breath. The pair stood by the pool of blood, quietly smoking in silence for some time. “Let’s go get a drink.” Arthur suggested. 

“No, Arthur. Tonight I’m going home.” Tommy said as he turned toward home.


	24. War of Hearts

War of Hearts 

The sound of footsteps echoed in my ears. No matter where I went those footsteps followed. I hated the sound of their worn boots hitting the cobblestones as they followed close behind. “I can take it from here boys.” I announced as I turned on my heel. My deep blue eyes narrowed in on my minders, Leon and Henry. The pair stopped short of knocking into my perfectly round belly. The two men had the unfortunate task of protecting me from impending danger while Tommy dealt with more important business. The poor bastards. The pair were on Tommy’s good side. He trusted them enough to look out for me. Unfortunately, they were contractually obligated to stay within close proximity to a highly hormonal pregnant woman. 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Shelby-” Henry replied.

“If you say ‘I’m sorry Mrs. Shelby’ one more time I will gut the both of you. I don’t care what Tommy’s orders are. You two have been my shadow for weeks. Now, would you kindly fuck off for just one afternoon.” I snapped. My head began to throb as my frustrations grew. 

“Mrs. Shelby,” Leon started cautiously. My eyes flashed to Leon’s. He raised his hands in defense as my gaze intensified. “Tommy says we can’t let you out of our sight. No exceptions. Even in church.” He explained. I rolled my eyes and made my way across the street to the church. 

“Fine. But you sit in the back and keep your distance.” I called over my shoulder. 

“I don’t know who I’m more afraid of her or Tommy.” Henry whispered to Leon as they filed into the back pew. 

“Shut up Henry.” Leon scolded his partner as he removed his cap out of respect. “The Mrs.” Leon replied quietly after some time passed. Henry chuckled to himself, which earned him a swift slug from Leon. A smile pulled on my lips as their conversation drifted out of earshot. I carefully placed the prayer veil on my head as I made my way to the confessional. I made the sign of the cross before sitting in the small confessional. The small screen the only separation between the priest and I. 

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession.” I said. 

“Indeed Mrs. Shelby.” My head snapped toward the cold voice beyond the screen. 

“Major Campbell.” I replied tightly. 

“You’ll have to forgive the intrusion, Mrs. Shelby. You are a very difficult woman to arrange a meeting with.” Campbell said. His shadow shifted closer as he leaned in to the screen. I protectively held my belly.

“What the fuck do you want?” I inquired through my gritted teeth. 

“Oh,” Campbell sighed, his voice filled with a disturbing mixture of disappointment and delight. “When I discovered that you were a devout woman, I found it hard to believe. After all, how can you love God and carry the devil’s child?” Campbell remarked.

“Fuck you!” I spat as I clamored to my feet. 

“Wait!” Campbell demanded. His voice now cold and eerily under control. I stopped at the door of the confessional. My knuckles turned white as I clutched the doorknob. I was desperate to leave, but even more so to know why he had gone to the trouble of tracking me down. “I alone keep your husband from the gallows. I suggest you sit down and listen to what I have to say.” My racing heart slowed to a stop. I collapsed back into my chair as my breathing became irregular. 

“Whatever you ask I will surely do it. You have my word.” I replied. My voice trembled as the tears rose to my eyes. 

“Your husband has been chosen to carry out an assassination on behalf of the Crown. He carried out his first task without hesitation. You know Mrs. Shelby, I always found Thomas to be one of the most enthusiastic and efficient killers.” The blood in my veins ran cold, and I felt completely paralyzed by the words that floated in through my ears. The fuck was Tommy in to? Why had he done a deal with the devil? “Your husband is a cunning man, Mrs. Shelby. Despite the considerable risk, he somehow persuaded Mr. Churchill to issue him an import export license. The business must be booming.” Campbell said. 

“What do you want from me?” I spat. I didn’t care that my voice shook with anger, or that hot tears streamed down my face.

“I want Thomas Shelby to carry out his given mission with military precision. No more of his fucking about.” Campbell told me simply. 

“How? I mean, how am I supposed to do that?” I stammered. My mind began to race as I considered the impossibility of Campbell’s request. What could I possibly do to make Tommy follow Campbell’s rules? 

“You will speak of this to no one and wait for my instructions.” Campbell replied simply. I scoffed. 

“That’s it?” I asked. The confessional fell into silence. “Hello? Is that it! That’s all you have to say?” I called louder. Silence. I bent down to my knees and peered through the screen. Nothing. “Fuck!” I cried as I hung my head. I angerly wiped the tears from my face before rising to my feet. I pushed the door open and made a direct line for the street. Henry and Leon stood from their places in the back of the church. Both now wore panicked expressions as they rushed after me.

“Mrs. Shelby! Mrs. Shelby!” Leon called after me. I ignored Leon’s continued pleas to slow down and kept on toward Polly’s. 

I barreled through Polly’s front door with Leon and Henry hot on my heels. Polly’s head turned toward the commotion with her teacup paused halfway to her lips. Polly’s brown eyes narrowed in on Henry and Leon. The steady gaze of the Shelby matriarch was enough to drive the pair of them back out the door. I drifted closer to where Polly sat alone at the table. All the boys had gone out for the day to buy a new horse. Despite Polly’s objections, Michael was allowed to tag along for the adventure too. In the past week, this was the first time I had seen Polly without her long lost son at her side. 

“Rebecca,” Polly started carefully as she stood to her feet. “What is it love?” She asked as she guided me into a chair. I shook my head as the tears spilled over and cascaded down my face.

“I’m afraid Tommy’s in trouble.” I managed through my tears. Polly remained silent. Her brown eyes softening in the same way they did when she looked at her long lost son Michael. “Polly, I need to know the truth. Why is Tommy taking orders from Chester Campbell?” I begged. Polly sat up straighter in her chair. She never liked being caught off guard, and my question had done just that.

“What do you know about Tommy and Major Campbell?” Polly demanded quickly. 

“I went to confession and Campbell was there instead of the priest. He said that if Tommy didn’t do as he was told that he would have him hung. Polly, I’m afraid that Tommy’s doing all of this because of me. You said so yourself, we love each other and that makes Tommy weak. What if Campbell is using me to make Tommy do his dirty work.” I explained. Polly’s brown eyes flashed about the room as her mind processed my words. Perhaps she was considering her reply as to not confirm too much information and risk Tommy’s wrath. “Even if Tommy does everything that Campbell tells him to do, what would stop him from having Tommy hung? Nothing. Why would Tommy agree to such a thing?” I asked. The dread took a firm hold of me and I felt powerless to stop it.

“Shit.” Polly swore. She stood and moved to the window. I kept my eyes on Polly while the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. “You really need to speak with Thomas.” Polly said as she returned to the table. “Rebecca, you must tell him that Campbell has found a way to get to you.” Polly said, her brown eyes were stern like when she scolded the boys for their antics. I shook my head in disbelief. 

“Polly, you and I both know that Tommy isn’t going to tell me a fucking thing. This will only make him more distant.” I shot back. Polly’s eyes narrowed in on mine. “Please. Polly, tell me what you know.” I begged. I wiped the tears from my eyes, only for more to fall. Polly let out a long exhale. 

“Go home. Wait for Tommy. It is the safest-” Polly said. I shot to my feet, which made my head spin. Another terrible side effect of pregnancy as of recent was the lightheadedness when I stood up.

“I’m fucking sick of sitting at home waiting for Tommy! It’s all I ever do!” I shouted. Polly looked up at me from behind her smoldering cigarette. My hormonal outbursts tested both Polly’s patience and warm feelings for me. 

“Rebecca,” Polly said gently as she rose to her feet. “Do you remember the last time you let your emotions make decisions for you? Now listen to me! Go home and wait for Tommy. It is for your own good.” Polly told me firmly. I rolled my eyes as I turned toward the door. I slammed the door behind me and stepped back into the dirty, busy street. I found a sorry looking Leon and Henry leaned up against the wall.

“The fuck you two looking sorry for?” I asked as I pulled my coat closed and turned toward home. Leon and Henry followed me home in silence. By the time I reached home my heart was a tumultuous mixture of emotion. My frustration and anger with Tommy’s secrecy was in stark contrast with the fierce love and protectiveness that I felt for him. In an attempt to distract myself I took to any household chore that could preoccupy my overactive mind. However, I failed to shake the thoughts from my mind. I had only succeeded in physically exhausting myself. Not a difficult task given my heavily pregnant state. I resigned myself to worry as I made a hot cup of tea. I collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs and began to mull over Tommy’s deal with Campbell. 

At half past ten o’clock the jostling of the front door brought an abrupt ending to my peace and quiet. I stood to my feet. The adrenaline poured into my veins and my heart began to pound. I looked around for anything I to protect myself with. My eyes landed on the large knife beside the bread on the table. I gripped the knife until my knuckles turned white. Tommy stopped short as he entered the kitchen. His icy blue eyes silently shifting from the knife in my hand to the rest of the room. 

“Is that for me?” Tommy asked as he pointed to the knife. I exhaled sharply, releasing the breath I didn’t even know I had been holding. I lowered the knife to my side as I stared back at Tommy. I noticed the blood splattered across his white collar. Obviously, the horse auction turned out to be more eventful than originally intended. “What is it that I’ve done this time?” Tommy inquired as he tossed his cap on the table. His eyes connecting with mine. I swore he almost appeared amused by my actions.

“It sounded like someone was about to break the door down. I didn’t know it was you.” I replied as I set the knife back down on the table. Tommy nodded. 

“So I’ve done nothing to make you kill me tonight in my sleep.” Tommy teased. His morbid flirtation almost brought a smile to my face, but my encounter of Campbell earlier in the day prevented me from enjoying it.

“To kill you in your sleep would require you to actually sleep Tommy.” I replied. Tommy’s lips curled into a small smirk before he turned to pour himself a drink. “Tommy, I need to speak with you. But I need you to promise me you will try to see things as I do.” I said as I stepped toward him. Tommy turned and leaned against the liquor cabinet. 

“Alright,” He said before taking a drink. 

“Tommy, I have tried for many months to accept-”

“Rebecca, why don’t you save us the introduction. What’s on your mind?” Tommy asked before he took another drink from his glass. I knew he wasn’t being unkind - he was just being Tommy. I took in a deep breath and slowly released it. Why was it now so difficult to speak? I had spent the entire day planning out what I wanted to say.

“I went to confession today and Chester Campbell was there.” I started. Tommy stood up straight. His blue eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched tightly. “He told me about your mission. The one you have been chosen to carry out. It’s payback, isn’t it? For the favor you owe Churchill.” I asked. Tommy’s blue eyes remained unwavering under my line of questioning. His steel expression revealing nothing of what he truly felt. I let out a frustrated sigh. “I know you killed for him already so why don’t you just admit it! I know who you are Tommy. I know what business you do, regardless of whether or not you say it out loud to me! Just admit it!” I shouted. The sound of Tommy’s glass connecting with the wooden table caused me to jump. 

“Rebecca!” Tommy’s voice was as sharp as his eyes were. 

“I know that he’s using me against you!” I shouted back at him. The shock was gone as quickly as it appeared on Tommy’s face. “I have tried to put this out of my mind, but I can’t. Tommy, don’t you see what’s going on here. Campbell is only using you to do his dirty work. I’m sure he promised you that I would be safe as long as you do as your told. Today, he said the same thing to me about you. This is Chester Campbell we’re talking about Tommy. The man can’t be trusted. As soon as you have done your part, he will see to it that you hang. You humiliated him. He won’t soon forget that.” I said. Tommy remained unmoved by my words. He kept his eyes level with mine as the room fell into silence. 

“It all started the day we buried Freddie.” Tommy said. He turned to top off his glass before continuing. “When Polly and I went to the Garrison there was green confetti strewn about. It was the IRA’s way of forcing me to the table. Yes, they threatened to hurt you and the baby if I failed to follow their orders.” Tommy said. Although I had suspected it, Tommy's confirmation sent a chill down my spine. “I killed a man. I didn’t know it, but that was the leverage Campbell needed to ensure I would follow through on the final mission.” Tommy said before taking a gulp of amber liquid from his glass. Tommy had all but filled the gaps where previously I had only my suspicions. 

“Campbell is working with the IRA?” I asked. It was something so unimaginable to anyone who knew of Chester Campbell’s hatred for the IRA. 

“Yep.” Tommy replied shortly before taking another long drink. 

“But why?” I asked. 

“They have a temporary mutual interest.” Tommy replied. His blue eyes returned to mine. 

“Meaning they want you to kill the same man.” I said as the realization washed over me like a tidal wave. 

“Yes.” Tommy said. 

“Why did you have to kill that man Tommy?” I asked quietly. I moved to where he stood and buried my head in his chest. The thick scent of cigarettes and whiskey consumed me in the most soothing way. A sigh escaped Tommy’s lips as his guard dropped. 

“I did it to keep you out of this whole terrible business.” Tommy admitted as his hand slowly moved to the curve of my waist. I looked up at his squared jaw and icy blue eyes. 

“I’m afraid fate is not on our side.” I said as I pulled away from him enough so that our eyes met once again. “I propose you let me help you. Like old times.” Tommy scoffed as he brought the glass back to his lips.

“No.” He replied quickly. 

“Tommy, just listen to me. I am the best person to help you. The IRA and Campbell both know that you will do anything to keep me safe. Right?” I waited for Tommy to respond, but I was met with only the silence of his icy blue stare. “They would never suspect me.” I said. 

“And what happens if they find out? You and I will both be dead.” Tommy replied. I sighed. Tommy was right. If Campbell or the IRA found out that Tommy was deviating further from his orders, they would have just cause to kill the both of us. But the risks were high regardless. Although I was afraid, I could no longer stand by and watch as my family was destroyed. 

“Then at least we will have tried.” I said with as much courage as I could muster. Tommy fell quiet as he considered my proposal. 

“Alright then. You best get some sleep. Tomorrow the work begins.” Tommy announced. He set his empty glass on the table before retreating to the front room to smoke late into the night. A small smile formed on my lips. I had finally convinced Tommy that I could be useful. But my joy was short lived. The reality of death soon settled deep in my belly. As I laid alone in bed I reconsidered my decision a hundred times over. Downstairs Tommy stood in front of the window watching the smoke billow from the stacks. He weighed the risks, the benefits. He calculated the odds. As a gambling man he knew he made a risky choice. It was a choice he would either live or die with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay in my update. I did not had any time to write because I have been training for a road race that happened last weekend. I promise to be more consistent in updating going forward. Thank you to those of you who are still following this story!


	25. The Fallout

The Fallout 

 

It was half past ten when I laid down to sleep. All of the tasks Tommy left me with while he went to London left me completely exhausted. Yet when I was finally able to snuggle under the covers I tossed and turned in an attempt to find a comfortable position. I rolled over and threw my legs over the side of the bed with a groan. I rubbed my hand over the fluttering in my belly until I felt the baby still and return to sleep. How ironic that my baby could sleep whenever he or she pleased, while I on the other hand couldn’t sleep even when I was desperate for it? My feet met the cold floor as I arched my back. I shrugged my robe on as I made my way back downstairs to make a cup of tea. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil before making my way into the front room. I looked out the front window at the dark street. My mind drifted to Tommy, as it usually did late at night. He had finally opened up about Campbell working with the IRA and their plan to kill the Field Marshall. Campbell’s promises of protection was worthless, and Tommy’s fate still hung in the balance. Despite it all, Tommy insisted legitimate business continue on with the upmost importance. I had no doubt that with Michael behind the books the business would be legitimate. That is if Tommy could keep himself out of trouble long enough for Michael to do his part. The thought brought a small smile to my face.

“Mrs. Shelby!” A male voice bellowed from beyond the door. My head snapped toward the door. It took me a minute to process what was going on. The man continued to beat on the door until I opened it. He looked almost shocked that I opened the door to him at all. 

“What do you want?” I asked as I crossed my arms across my chest. The man diverted his eyes to the pavement and cleared his throat nervously. I didn’t recognize the man who stood before me, but the razor blade in his cap told me he was a Peaky Blinder. 

“You need to come to the shop. Polly’s son Michael has been lifted by Campbell’s men.” The man explained. Perhaps it was the nature of the message he was sent to deliver that made him so uncomfortable, or maybe it was my night dress. 

“Did John send you?” I asked cautiously. 

“Yes ma’am.” The man replied quickly. 

“I’ll be back.” I told him before I closed the door. I hurried into the kitchen to remove the kettle from the warmer before climbing the stairs with haste. I pulled a pair of black stockings and a gray dress from my wardrobe. I struggled, as I did most days, to buckle my stockings to the elastic straps on my garter before pulling the dress over my head. I added a cardigan for additional warmth and turned to leave. But my gut churned with suspicion and apprehension as I prepared to descend the stairs. My mind drifted back to the man who was waiting for me at the door. I had just as much reason to trust him as to not. Unwilling to take any chances, I went to the wardrobe and pulled my gun and holster from the top shelf. With my gun carefully concealed under my overcoat, I opened to find an anxious man waiting. “I don’t know what John is thinking. What can I possibly do to help at this hour?” I mumbled as we made our way toward the shop. I glanced sideways at the man next to me. With every step the man appeared more and more nervous. “What did you say your name was?” I asked. His response was quick as lightening. Before I had a chance to react his fingers were around my throat. I thrashed against him but he easily overpowered me. My back collided with the brick wall, allowing him more leverage on my neck. I continued to thrash and claw at his face, but his arm was longer than mine. 

“It has become apparent Mrs. Shelby, that your husband has no fear of death. Major Campbell would like to remind him of your compromised position.” The man spat as his dark eyes bore into my frightened blue eyes. He gave my throat one final mighty squeeze before releasing me. I nearly fell to the ground as I gasped desperately for air. I fell into a coughing fit as the cold night air returned to my lungs. When I finally regained my breath, I stood up and looked around. The man was nowhere in sight. At that moment, I didn’t know if I was relieved that he was gone, or angry that I had been rendered so powerless to stop him. 

 

Before morning light it was apparent that it was all fucked. In one night Campbell and his task force had managed to seize over half of the company assets. The whiskey, the vans, the cigarettes, the clubs all gone. In all his mental anguish, Arthur was an easy target for the London police. No one doubted that when Arthur was in a rage that he was more than capable of killing a man with his bare hands. When I asked John about what happened, all he would say was that a business meeting went wrong. And poor Polly had lost Michael. Polly nearly turned John into the police when he informed her that it was in fact he and Arthur who burned the Marquis of Lorne pub to the ground. Esme, John, Finn, Polly, and I were sat in the betting shop waiting for the inevitable when Tommy walked in. I could tell he was livid. His agitation was evident from his locked jaw to the sound of his boots on the floorboards. I slid my hand over the red marks on my neck. It felt as if a thousand knives were pricking my skin. My mind told my hand to pull away, but the pain was worth it to bide more time before having to explain it to Tommy. He had enough to deal with already. 

“John?” 

“Our men are on the run in Camden Town.” John told him. 

“They’ve taken Michael-”

“Business first.” Tommy insisted. Polly’s teary, angry eyes clashed with Tommy’s emotionless blue ones. 

“All of our whiskey has been taken by the police. Our vans have been impounded, they put their own locks on all of our warehouses, and our pubs turned over to Sabini and Solomons. Not to mention the Eden Club.” John explained. 

“I don’t give a fuck about whiskey! I don’t give a fuck! Tommy, I want my son out of prison now!” Polly demanded frantically. 

“Tommy-” Esme started. 

“This meeting should be family!” Polly shouted. 

“Enough! Polly, enough!” Tommy shouted over Polly’s ongoing protests. Once Polly quieted, Tommy turned his attention back to Esme. “Esme,” Tommy prompted. 

“I’ve spoken to Johnny Dogs. The Lee’s are kin. They can give us men.” Esme explained. 

“We don’t need fucking men! It’s men fighting like cockerels that have done the damage!” Polly shouted back at Tommy. Tommy exhaled sharply, his irritation beginning to boil to the surface. Tommy turned his attention back to Esme. 

“Esme, tell the Lee’s we will take all the men they can spare. We need good men.” Tommy said. Polly scoffed. Tommy and Polly exchanged a few sharp words before Polly pulled Finn from the room. The room was left to fall into a painful and awkward silence. Tommy calmly placed a cigarette between his lips and lit the end. He took a deep inhale before proceeding.

“John, I need a moment with Rebecca.” Tommy told them, rather than asking them to step out. I shifted in my chair uncomfortably, knowing full well Tommy would demand an explanation. 

“Come on, I’ll bring the car around.” John said to Esme. Esme’s eyes burned as she looked from John to Tommy. John took her arm, only for Esme to pull away and storm off, leaving a frustrated and bewildered John behind. I had already been given an earful of Esme’s opinions regarding the entire ordeal, and I knew she badly wanted to let it out on Tommy. I hoped if she was ever to be that stupid, someone would be there to stop her. God knew that Tommy needed little more reason to cut her. 

“So, what the fuck happened to you, huh?” Tommy asked. He leaned back in his chair as he took another drag from his cigarette. His blue eyes narrowing on the red marks I was still attempting to conceal with my hand. I looked down at my boots. It had been a great deal of time since I last faced one of Tommy’s military grade enquiries.

“I was outsmarted.” I admitted. 

“That much is fucking clear Rebecca.” His quick reply was full of frustration with my illusive response. He placed a hand on his knee and he leaned forward in his chair to further close the gap between us. His eyes demanded more information. It almost hurt to look at him, knowing how I had failed. “How did it happen?” Tommy asked. I folded my hands in my lap, my left hand holding the right captive. Tommy nodded his head as he silently took in the red hand print that covered my throat. 

“A man came to the door and told me that John needed me because Michael had been arrested. He looked like one of your men Tommy. A razor blade in his cap just like the rest of them. But I had never seen him before, so I took my gun to be safe. He waited until he had me out of the house before he attacked me. I tried to fight him off, but he was too quick and strong.” I explained. Tommy’s blue eyes remained focused on mine, never once wavering. He took a drag from his cigarette before looking down at the ground. He let out a sharp exhale, the way he did before he lost his cool. 

“And where was Leon during all this?” Tommy replied, his eyes returning to mine. I looked down at my folded hands as they began to tremble. 

“Leon’s dead, Tommy.” I said as the tears rose to my eyes. Tommy hung his head either out of defeat or in an attempt to conceal his emotions. “John found him in the flower bed behind the house this morning.” I told him.

“Did this man say anything to give himself away? Did he have an accent? Anything. I need you to think Rebecca!” Tommy urged me. I closed my eyes and began to play the events over in my mind. 

“Campbell.” I said as I opened my eyes wide. “The man said that Campbell’s men took Michael, but when I made it to John’s last night, John didn’t even know anything had happened. It wasn’t until we phoned Polly that we knew Campbell arrested Michael.” The words flew out of my mouth at such a rapid rate that they all ran together. Tommy sprang to his feet and made his way to the door. “Tommy!” I called after him. He stopped and turned as I rose to my feet. “What is it?” I asked as I moved to meet him. He exhaled before his blue eyes drifted down to meet mine. 

“I don’t know, but I’m going to ask the man himself.” Tommy said as he turned and left. 

 

Campbell outsmarted Tommy that night. As Tommy later discovered, Arthur, Michael, and I were just insurance to ensure that Tommy would behave. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Tommy’s business ventures in London, or even that he convinced Churchill to issue him an export license that angered Campbell. It was the fact that Tommy had taken out an insurance policy, ensuring that the baby and I would be provided for in the event of his death. When Tommy told me that he had put his affairs in order, knowing Campbell would most likely have him killed took the wind from my lungs. Polly would say that it was all Tommy’s fault. In many ways she way right. She blamed him for Michael’s arrest and the subsequent strain on their relationship. She said he had too much on – taking over London, the legal and illegal business in Birmingham, taking on a racehorse. Polly had not been herself since Michael came home, and only her family loyalty bound her to helping Tommy carry out his mission. From time to time her anger would resurface, and she would vow that she would take Michael far away. I on the other hand relinquished my anger as to not create more of a distance between Tommy and I.

 

I pushed the door open to Tommy’s new office on Jamaica Street. It was the center of the legal, respectable side of the Shelby Company Limited, but today it was to be the location of our secret planning meeting. My eyes fell on the thin woman with a short black hair sitting behind the large desk in the corner. From what I could tell she was about Tommy’s age, but it was hard to tell with her head down. She was focused on the typewriter in front of her, most likely typing correspondence for the company. 

“Excuse me. You can’t go in there.” The woman said. I turned to the thin woman who now stood behind the desk.

“Uh, I was…” I stuttered. I couldn’t decide whether I should ignore her and go on, or be polite and introduce myself. 

“You must be Tommy’s wife.” She said as she crossed her arms and forced a smile. There was something – her attitude or tone of voice – but this woman was not sitting right. 

“Yes, that’s right. You must be his secretary.” I spat harshly as I approached her desk. My tone was harsher than I intended, but there was no taking it back. I hated that she was so much taller than me, thereby allowing her look down on me. 

“Yeah, that’s one of the things I am to Tommy.” She replied. I narrowed my eyes and grit my teeth together as my frustrations grew. 

“You’d be wise to remember who you’re speaking to.” I warned her. She scoffed. 

“A little Irish girl who got herself pregnant. Fuck, you’re like a child compared to him.” She remarked. She was right, I was younger than Tommy, by nearly seven years. But why the hell did it matter to her?

“Fucking hell. You love my husband.” I said in quiet disbelief. Shaking my head back and forth it all began to connect. “I bet he fucked you once or twice after the war, am I right?” I challenged as I leaned over the desk. 

“Yeah, Tommy and I fuck sometimes.” She fired back. 

“He married me! And you best remember that!” I shouted back at her. 

“Because he got you pregnant! He would have never married you otherwise!” She shot back. Without another thought I pulled my arm back and hit her square in the jaw. She stumbled back, the shock evident on her face. I felt a pair of familiar arms circle around my waist, carefully pulling me away from the desk. 

“Rebecca, stop!” Tommy shouted as I struggled against him. “Stop it Rebecca! Think of the baby.” He whispered against my hair. I took a breath and stopped struggling. As he released me, he pointed at the girl behind the desk. “Lizzie go home. Now!” He shouted pointing at the door. The girl scurried to collect her bag before storming out of the office with a huff. I looked over to where John and Polly stood in the doorway to Tommy’s office. Fuck. 

“You got yourself a feisty one, eh Tommy.” John remarked with a smirk. 

“Shut up.” Polly scolded John. She smacking him in the chest without taking her eyes off of me. Her brown eyes were a mixture of confusion and sadness reflecting back at me. I almost felt guilty. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy said coolly as he turned his attention towards me. “The fuck was that?” He asked. His eyes were stern and cold now. I brought a hand to my belly, desperate to calm the fluttering baby in my belly so I could focus on fighting with Tommy. 

“Are you fucking her Thomas?” I asked pointedly. Tommy’s eyes bore into me.

“Meetings over.” Tommy told Polly and John without breaking his gaze away with me. The front door shut after a couple of moments, leaving just the two of us in the office. “The fuck kind of question is that?” Tommy asked. 

“Answer the fucking question Thomas! Are you fucking her?” I yelled. 

“No.” He replied sternly. The tears pricked my eyes as the heat rushed to my cheeks. I shook my head feeling the embarrassment welling up inside me. I allowed my emotions to get the better of me, a weakness Polly found within me a long time ago. 

“Well what am I supposed to think when you’re out all night. You don’t tell me where you’re going, who you’re going to see, or when you’ll be back. You expect me to be a good girl and not ask. No more Thomas. I won’t do it anymore.” I told him. 

“I don’t know what the fuck you want from me Rebecca.” Tommy muttered as he stepped forward. 

“I want to be your wife. I want you to love me. I deserve that much.” I shouted bitterly as the tears spilled down my face. 

“You are my wife.” Tommy sighed as he pulled out a cigarette and began to light it. I pulled it from his lips, throwing it away with disregard for where it landed. He exhaled sharply, as he attempted to keep his emotions under control. 

“No!” I spat. “I have forgiven a number of misfortunes against my better judgement because it’s what a good woman does. But there is a limit to what I can endure. You locked me in the house and assigned your men to watch me while you prepared for a suicide mission! Why should I even bring this child into the world Thomas when clearly you have no desire to raise it with me?” I shouted. 

“Because you wanted it!” Tommy fired back. With a swift exhale, his voice and expression were again under control. 

“Fine Thomas. If that’s how you really feel about it.” I said as I pulled the gold band from my fourth finger and pressed it into Tommy’s callused palm. “Go fuck your secretary. I don’t care anymore.” I said as I turned on my heel and left the office. Once outside, I took a deep breath as I angerly brushed the tears from my cheeks before walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s see how Tommy gets himself out of this one!


	26. Betrayal

Betrayal

“Hello Lizzie!” Polly called as she came up behind the girl. The sound of Polly’s heels clicked furiously against the cobblestones as her pace increased. Lizzie continued on despite Polly’s sharp greeting. Given the events of the day, Polly was in no mood for Lizzie’s games. She dug her fingers into Lizzie’s elbow and pulled her into a nearby alley. “Are you really so daft, Lizzie?” Polly’s voice was as pointed as her brown eyes now were. A miffed Lizzie tore her arm from Polly’s fierce grip. 

“What do you want Polly?” Lizzie fired back.

“What was that stunt back there?” Polly asked. 

“Why don’t you ask that little bitch!” Lizzie spat. Polly’s palm cracked sharply against Lizzie’s cheek, sending the girl’s head spinning. Instantly, Lizzie’s hand flew up to hold her tender cheek. A mixture of disbelief and rage emerging on Lizzie’s injured face.

“You would be wise to remember of whom you are speaking of. She is Thomas’s wife!” Polly warned Lizzie.

“Been a long time since I’ve been hit twice in one day.” Lizzie remarked. Polly shook her head disapprovingly. 

“You’re lucky it was me. Tommy can do a lot worse. In fact, you’ll be lucky if this is all the punishment you get for what you said back there.” Polly said sharply. Lizzie’s eyes shifted to hide the sadness welling up in them. “I know you love him.” 

“Polly!” Lizzie’s eyes popped wide open, meeting Polly’s stern brown eyes once again.

“You’ve always had this foolish delusion that you could win Tommy. That one day you might be able to change the way he looks at you.” Lizzie shook her head, her sad green eyes begging for mercy. In truth, there was no need for Polly to explain these things to Lizzie out loud. Lizzie knew. It was her heart on display after all. Polly sighed. She felt bad for the poor girl. She fell under Tommy’s spell, and had waited for him to fall in love with her for years. “Give it time. Tommy might be willing to forgive you.” Polly said before turning her back on Lizzie. 

“Polly!” Lizzie called. Polly slowly turned back to find a sorry looking Lizzie. “Will you speak to him for me? Make him let me come back to work.” She asked. 

“No.” Polly said with a simple shake of her head. 

 

I quickly made my way back to the house. The entire way my heart was somewhere in my throat. As much as the tears wanted to come I wouldn’t let them fall in public. By the time I made it home, I felt sick from choking on my emotions. Tommy had just undermined our entire marriage along with everything else that I held as a certainty in my life. I was torn between feeling grateful that I had discovered the truth, and wishing that I could turn back time so I could do it differently. But turning back time was for children and their fables. For me, it was simply impossible. 

I needed time to clear my head. I needed some time away from this crumbling, dark world. It went against my very being leaving that house. Leaving meant betraying my culture, religion, and family. It took every ounce of courage to walk away, but I did. With my head held high, and heart broken, I walked away. 

 

_I was helping mama knead the dough for bread, while my cousin and aunt peeled potatoes. My cousin Sarah’s rapidly approaching marriage was the main topic of our conversation. Sarah and I were just four years apart in age, and I always looked up to her. I couldn’t wait to be sixteen and start receiving proposals like Sarah. And despite her busy, adventurous life, she still made time for me. She was blessed with fair skin and beautiful red hair. Ironically, I used to pray that God would lighten my dark wavy hair into a beautiful red hue like Sarah’s. I believed it was her beauty that led to her early marriage. It wasn’t until I was much older that I understood the reality of her situation._

_“You ought to pay more attention Sarah. Soon it will be you who is expected to put meals on the table, not I.” My Aunt Martha said firmly. Sarah lifted her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips as we shared a secret look from across the room. I looked back to my work before our mother’s caught on to our secret line of communication._

_“Yes mama.” Sarah replied politely. The room soon filled with the sound of kitchen utensils clanging._

_“What is it Joseph does?” My mother asked, breaking the silence again._

_“He works in his father’s shop.” Sarah replied. My mother had succeeded in returning the conversation to a lighter tone._

_“He said that one day he might be an equal partner. Hopefully one day before the children come.” Aunt Martha told my mother._

_“Here we go again with the children.” Sarah grumbled under her breath. Martha shot Sarah a disapproving look._

_“You will realize one day very soon Sarah Elizabeth that children are a burden you will bear. Especially if you keep going the way you have. Running about like a wild woman. It’s disgraceful!” Martha fired back. It was as if they had resumed their argument where they left off the last time. Like they mentally bookmarked the page of a terrible chapter in life. Sarah stood to leave but Martha’s vice grip on her shoulder prevented her. Martha gave her daughter a hard glare as she imbedded her fingers in her shoulders. “Now it is time for your childish games to end Sarah! This is where it gets you! If only God had given you less beauty and more sense, maybe it would have spared you this mess.” Martha said. Sarah pulled away from her mother and stormed out of the house. I stood silently between my mother and my aunt, waiting for one to make the next move._

_“You’d think she killed someone the way you scold her Martha.” My mother said._

_“She is lucky that her father didn’t kill the both of them. What they were doing was sin, Mary! I wanted to send her away to one of those moral reform schools, but the boy’s father settled a satisfactory arrangement with John.” Martha replied._

_“Rebecca, why don’t you take the clothes from the line.” My mother suggested. I quickly and quietly left the house. As I pulled clothes from the line, I tried to understand what they meant. I heard of the moral reform schools run by the Catholic Church. The nuns always made a point to threaten us with it when we acted out. Sarah did marry Joseph. He beat her to death two years later, not that anyone would admit it out loud. She stayed because it was right. Family and the church told her to stand beside her husband, regardless of how bad the abuse was. She left behind a daughter. A daughter who was foolishly entrusted to Joseph’s care. ___

__I closed my eyes tight, wishing the memory of Sarah far away from my mind. Tommy wasn’t Joseph, yet here I was on Polly’s doorstep with a suitcase in hand. To be honest, I was just as shocked as Polly was when she opened the door._ _

__“Rebecca,” Polly greeted. She looked back and forth between my face and the suitcase a few times before opening the door to allow me inside. “Have a seat, from the looks of it you could use a drink.” Polly said as she led the way into the beautifully furnished sitting room. I left my suitcase at the door and followed Polly. We waited in silence for the maid to bring the tea. Once the maid disappeared from sight, Polly focused her attention on me. “Alright, out with it.” She demanded._ _

__“He swore that he wasn’t sleeping with her.” I told her. Polly gave me a small sympathetic smile._ _

__“Lizzie and Tommy are complicated.” Polly replied. I shook my head. I felt so foolish for believing a man like Tommy would settle._ _

__“I know!” I replied bitterly. “I know I wasn’t the first, but I thought I would be his last. When we got married we loved each other. But now he’s indifferent at best. Was it too much for me to ask him to be faithful?” I asked. Polly shook her head._ _

__“No,” She said as she moved to sit beside me on the couch. “All men are mongrels.” Polly said as she drew me into an embrace._ _

__“I broke every rule leaving him Polly. It’s a sin.” I said. Polly pulled away and quickly began examining my eyes. I looked down at my hands. “I gave him back my ring.” I admitted._ _

__“Has he hit you?” Polly asked quickly._ _

__“No, of course not.” I replied. Polly stood and moved to look out the front window as she considered all the news she just received._ _

__“I should send you back to him. Make you two work it out.” Polly said._ _

__“How? Why?” I fired back. “Should I go back to him and keep on as if everything is perfect? Why? To give him children? Children he doesn’t want! He won’t change no matter what I do or how many children I give him. Tommy will always be Tommy! That much is plain. He will always have secrets.” Polly turned._ _

__“I hope no one ever told you being a woman would be an easy job, because it’s not.” Polly said firmly as she returned to her seat. “And if I was anyone else I would make you go back. You need some time apart, I can understand that. But you have to know that hiding out here will not solve your problems Rebecca.” Polly said. I nodded my head._ _

__“I just need some time.” I assured her._ _

__“Alright, then. I’ll have the maid set up the guest room.” Polly said before retreating from the room._ _


	27. Dangerous Game

Dangerous Game  
March 1921 

Polly forcefully opened the great wood door to Tommy’s office. Tommy shifted his bright blue eyes up from his work long enough to silently curse himself. In casting off Lizzie, he left himself without a gate keeper. It allowed anyone to come and go as they pleased. Tommy looked back to his work even as Polly’s heels rapidly approached his desk. 

“Polly,” Tommy muttered before bringing a smoldering cigarette to his lips. Polly gripped the edge of the desk and leaned in, as Tommy shifted his blue eyes up to meet Polly’s harsh gaze.

“Lost anything recently Thomas?” Polly asked, her voice sharp as a blade. Tommy exhaled, releasing the smoke from his lungs, before answering his aunt. 

“She’s better off. Rebecca being with you. As far as I’m concerned, further she is from me, the safer she will be.” Tommy replied. He leaned back in his leather desk chair before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. 

“That is some shit and you know it!” Polly fired back. Tommy scoffed, which fueled Polly’s frustration. “You have been placing her protection in the hands of other men so that you can blame them when they fail. And fail they have, each and every time! You’re afraid to fail her, Thomas. Your fear puts your wife and unborn child in danger.” Polly told him coldly. 

“Enough Polly.” Tommy replied. His voice leveled and his eyes narrowed on his aunt. “I’m going to deal with the Field Marshall and you are going to deal with Major Campbell. In a week’s time all of this business will be done. Then Rebecca and our child will be safe. We will be back on track to make Shelby Company Limited legitimate within two years.” Tommy explained.

“What makes you so sure she will return to you so easily? After the way you abandoned her.” Polly questioned. Tommy held Polly’s gaze in a painfully tense silence. “Have you been faithful to her?” Polly asked. Tommy’s expression shifted quickly to disguise the shock that threatened to break through his mask. 

“You have no right to ask me that!” Tommy said as he stood to his feet and buttoned his coat.

“She’s a good woman!” Polly fired back, her face a mix of confusion and anger. 

“I don’t deny her goodness Polly.” Tommy replied steadily. 

“I suppose there was never enough goodness in her for you, Thomas.” Polly said, disbelief and disgust dripping from her every word. Before Tommy could open his mouth to reply, Polly turned to exit his office. Rather than engage further with his enraged aunt, Tommy simply leaned over his desk and grit his teeth together. 

 

“You look terrible.” Polly said from the doorway later that evening. I turned in my seat by the window to meet her eyes. I forced a smile onto my face, hoping it would stick there somehow. I turned back to the dark night sky outside my window. Through the lace curtains I could see the lights on in the homes across the streets. They were homes filled with love and laughter. Something I could no longer say about my own. “Tea didn’t suit you?” Polly asked as she approached. I looked over at the cup of tea that went untouched from the afternoon. 

“Not much suits me these days Polly.” I said as I turned back to the darkness. 

“When I agreed to let you stay here, you said it would only be for a short time. While you thought things through.” Polly reminded me as she moved to take the other seat by the window. “Now you’ve withdrawn into yourself, Rebecca.” Polly paused as she awaited my response. “Perhaps I was wrong to have agreed to let you stay here.” Polly admitted.

“No!” I replied quickly. I turned to face Polly, who waited in expectant silence. “I love him, Polly. I love him so much it hurts, but I never thought that love would hurt this much. Why does it hurt this much?” I said as the tears began to fill my blue eyes. 

“Love is a risky business, Rebecca. There is never a great reward without an even greater risk.” Polly told me. I nodded my head and sniffed. 

“Especially when Thomas Shelby is involved.” I replied bitterly. Polly let out a sigh.

“Tommy has a lot on his mind right now. I’m sure it will be better once it’s settled.” Polly said. 

“Once what is settled Polly?” I asked.

“The horse that cost us too much money, he entered her in the Epsom Derby.” Polly told me. I simply nodded my head. I had no opinion on Tommy owning a racehorse. What did it matter to me what he chose to do with a horse?

“I suppose I should let Tommy focus on his horse. Not like this baby is going anywhere anytime soon. We will have plenty of time to sort it out afterwards.” I said as I looked down. I gently stroked my fingers across my swollen belly. As the room fell into painful silence, Polly squeezed my knee apologetically. Both of us knew full well there was nothing that could be done to contain Tommy. He would follow his ambitions wherever it led him. And his fidelity, or lack thereof, would remain elusive to the both of us. 

 

“Will you be requiring a fire in your room?” May asked from the sofa opposite of the one Tommy sat on. Despite May’s question and longing look, Tommy remained fixated on the ornate fabric that hung in the windows of May’s drawing room. “Tommy?” May asked again, this time a bit louder. Tommy turned, and looked as if he had altogether forgotten May’s presence in the room. 

“Hmm?” He hummed before he brought the gold brimmed whiskey glass back to his lips. 

“Will you be retiring to your room or mine tonight?” May asked again. May’s longing gaze reflected off of Tommy’s crystal clear blue eyes. 

“Both,” He replied. His steady voice and facial expression failing to reveal the true reason for his distance this evening. May sighed to herself as she settled back against the lush sofa.

“Is it your wife?” May inquired dryly. Tommy’s blue eyes shifted quickly to meet May’s. 

“My wife is not to be discussed.” Tommy replied firmly. 

“Forgive me. It’s just you seem distracted.” May said. 

“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice Ms. Carleton?” Tommy asked causing May’s red lips to curl up into a small smile.

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no need for jealousy. With you, Thomas Shelby, there is only business. And I am confident that for as long as I can continue to offer you the best deal, you will be mine.” May replied as she stood to her feet. Tommy sat in silence as he absorbed her words.

“Make no mistake Ms. Carleton, what happens between us is _purely _business. I do not belong to you and you do not belong to me.” Tommy replied steadily.__

____

____

“I expect nothing less Mr. Shelby.” May replied tightly. The pair continued their tense eye contact until Tommy rose to his feet. 

“Shall we see to the terms of our agreement?” Tommy said as he motioned to the stairs. 

The next morning, Tommy and May strolled down the gravel drive that lead to his waiting car. Their fingers ghosting against one another as they strolled side by side. May’s hazel eyes sparkled as she looked into Tommy’s brilliant blue eyes and bit her lower lips. 

“I hope I will be seeing you before the race.” May said.

“Mhm,” Tommy hummed his confirmation. 

“Well, no delaying then inevitable I suppose.” May said reluctantly. In a final display of unbridled emotion, May stretched up onto her toes to meet Tommy’s lips. She lingered longer than what was social appropriate, but Tommy didn’t pull away. In the beginning, May told Tommy that she didn’t care what the maid’s whispered to themselves. 

“May,” Tommy said quietly. His voice once again full of command despite the fact he had barely spoken above a whisper. 

“Tommy, I know our agreement. Nothing has changed.” May reassured him before he had another chance to debate the subject. 

“Goodbye May.” Tommy said before turning to the waiting car. Tommy began the long drive back to the home he purchased for Ada in Primrose Hill. Much to his displeasure, he could not stop his mind from returning to his wife. The incessant thoughts nearly convinced him to turn the car around and return to spend a final night beside her. Her smiling face was burned into the forefront of his mind. But his soldiers had their orders, so there was no reason for him to return to Birmingham until after the job was done. His plan for derby day was well underway, and no matter the risk to his own life, it had to to proceed. 

 

“Rebecca, I’m going now.” Polly called as she made her way toward the door. 

“Goodbye Polly. Enjoy the race.” I called out from where I sat on the sofa reading. Polly forced a smile to her face before taking her leave. It did hurt that Tommy had not invited me to be with him at the races. On the other hand, my previous experience at the races left me with little desire to invite myself along. I only hoped that after this business was done Tommy would be willing to talk about things – honestly this time. My thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ring of the telephone. I stood, feeling the aches and pains of being sat down for too long. “Hello.” I said once I made it to the telephone.

“Rebecca, it’s Ada.” Ada’s voice crackled in through the receiver. The tension in her voice instantly set me on edge.

“Ada, what is wrong?” I asked. 

“Rebecca, I’ve done something terrible. I read Tommy’s mail.” Ada explained. 

“What are you doing with Tommy’s mail Ada?” I asked quickly. 

“He has been staying with me on and off while he does business in London.” Ada replied. “Rebecca, I never would have violated Tommy’s privacy if it wasn’t for the way he’s been acting lately. And when he handed me a letter this morning, and told me that if anything was to go wrong today that I should post the letter; I had to know what was going on. He wrote it to a reporter in New York. He says that he has been enlisted by Chester Campbell to murder a Field Marshal Henry Russell for crimes he committed in Ireland. He fears that Campbell will have him killed to ensure the secret never gets out.” Ada told me. “Rebecca? Rebecca, are you there?” Ada asked. 

“Yes, yes. Where is he now Ada?” I asked frantically as my brain kicked into overdrive. 

“He left for the derby already.” Ada said. 

“Thank you Ada.” I said before hanging up the receiver. The pieces of the puzzle quickly fell into place in my mind. This man, Russell, was the mutual interest that brought Campbell and the IRA together. Campbell threatened the family to ensure Tommy would fulfill his end of the deal without exposing the government’s involvement. Tommy knew all along that Campbell would find a way to kill him afterwards, either through the courts or with his hitmen. But I never could have imagined that Tommy would use the derby as his killing grounds. Then I remembered that the entire family, except for myself and Arthur, had a ticket. With that thought I took the receiver in my hand again.

“Hello,” Michael greeted. 

“Michael, it’s Rebecca. Do you happen to have a car at the offices?” I inquired. 

“Yes. Why? Is everything alright? Is it the baby?” Michael asked, worry seeping into his voice. His concern warmed my heart. I was thankful that his arrest had not robbed him of all his good nature. 

“No, no not yet. But I do need you to take me to the derby.” I explained. 

“But Polly-” Michael started to object. 

“Leave Polly to me. Just get here as soon as you can. Please Michael! It’s important.” I pleaded with him. 

“Alright.” He agreed without further hesitation. I hung up the receiver before I hurrying up the stairs as quickly as my feet would take me. I donned the best dress I could find that still fit me. It was a royal blue dress with a rather modern waistline, which almost completely concealed my pregnant state. With the addition of a pair of gloves and hat my ensemble was complete. But there was one more essential piece I knew was missing. I made way downstairs to Polly’s office. I searched every drawer until finally I found what I was looking for. I shoved the small silver piece into my handbag before rushing out front to meet Michael. 

 

“So, when do you plan on telling me what this is about?” Michael inquired once we neared our destination. The car ride had been filled with silent tension, mainly over Michael’s driving. Mainly, I was attempting to formulate a plan, but not knowing all the details Tommy had arranged made that quite challenging. 

“Michael, you know the business Tommy’s involved in. Well this is worse, much worse.” I said as the racetrack came into view over the hills. 

“So what are you going to do about it?” Michael inquired. 

“I’m not sure yet.” I told him honestly. “You still have the ticket Tommy gave you, right?” I asked. 

“Of course. How else would I get in?” He replied as he brought the car to a stop and put the brake on. He swiftly pulled the ticket from his breast pocket and held it in between his fingers. 

“Good, I need it.” I said. 

“If I give you my ticket, then how am I supposed to get in?” He asked. 

“That’s just it Michael. You don’t.” I told him as I plucked the ticket from between his fingers. I climbed out of the car, leaving a confused Michael in the car. “Before you try to argue with me, I will not have your well-being on my conscience today Michael. I already have enough to explain to your mother, I don’t need putting you in danger added to the list. Thank you for all you’ve done Michael, but now I need you to go home.” I told him firmly. 

“And what about me having to explain to Tommy why I let you walk straight into harm’s way?” Michael inquired. _Fuck. _He was right.__

____

____

“Leave Tommy to me Michael.” I said before walking away from the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to clarify that Epsom usually takes place in May or June, but for the purposes of this story and my timeline, I had to fudge it a little bit. I have other things planned for Rebecca and Tommy in May...
> 
> Who else can’t wait to see what ends up happening at the races? Maybe surviving the races will be the least of Tommy’s worries in the coming chapters?


	28. Epsom

Epsom

I walked away from the sleek black car with my shoulders back and best poker face firmly in place. My outward appearance was a stark contrast to the apprehension I felt flowing through my veins. I made my way to the first place I thought to look for Tommy. I figured where the drinks were served and bets placed was as good of a start as any. I figured if I didn’t find Tommy, surely I would find someone with the last name Shelby. The tent was packed with people flitting about with excitement. Finally, I spotted Arthur and John, who were across the room placing a bet. I did my best not to appear in a hurry as I weaved my way through the crowded room. 

“Hello Arthur. John. Lovely day for the races.” I greeted them sharply. My voice carried more of a bite than I intended, but apologizing now would derail my plan. John spun around on the heel of his boot as Arthur straightened. Their faces were a vision of shock and no awe. 

“Rebecca,” Arthur greeted me as he shot John a sideways look full of apprehension. “Does Tommy know you’re here?” Arthur recovered quickly. 

“Do you know where Tommy is?” I fired back. 

“Rebecca, you can’t be here. Today is going to be full of trouble. It’s no place for a woman in your condition.” John warned me. Although I admired John’s kindness and concern, I couldn’t give into it. I certainly wasn’t going to allow myself to crumble when Tommy’s life hung in the balance. 

“That’s enough John boy.” Arthur said as he pushed John to the side. Arthur leveled his eyes with mine and rested his hands on his knees in the most condescending manner as he examined my face. “Like John said, you can’t be here. I’ll have Finn take you to the truck. The pair of you can wait there.” Arthur offered. Before another rational thought could enter my brain, I pulled Polly’s gun from my purse and pressed it to Arthur’s chest. I took another step and closed the gap between us. 

“No offense Arthur, but I came here for one reason only. My husband.” I apologized quickly to Arthur before turning my attention to John. “So John, you care to tell me where Tommy is now?” I asked with as much forced politeness as I could muster. I had enough of being controlled by Shelby men. I swear the next one of them dumb enough to try was going to get it. 

“You wouldn’t shoot your own brother in law.” Arthur chuckled. 

“Do you really want to find out the hard way, Arthur?” I fired back. My blue eyes quickly filled with the rage I had been holding back for so long. Arthur’s Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and cleared his throat. Obviously, my threats were working on Arthur, but would they on John?

“Tell her what you know John boy before she puts a bullet in my chest.” Arthur said through his teeth. John shifted nervously. He was caught between which of his elder brothers he would betray. 

“Tommy’s upstairs with Lizzie and the rest of them toffs.” John replied. His response satisfied my initial question, which would have to be enough for now. I returned Polly’s revolver to its secret hiding spot before taking my leave.

“Thank you.” I called over my shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. 

“You think she was actually going to, you know, shoot me?” Arthur muttered quietly. John shook his head. 

“I don’t know, but I’ve seen how women can be when they’re… emotional.” John said

“I need a whiskey.” Arthur said as he moved in the direction of the bar. 

“Right.” John agreed as they retreated. 

 

I made my way up the stairs towards the owners enclosure. When I saw the man with a clipboard taking names, I knew that I only had a finite amount of time to think of a plan. How was I supposed to get in? 

“Name please Madame?” The man asked in a rather snobbish accent. _Fuck._

__“Mrs. Shelby, my husband is Thomas Shelby.” I told him confidently. He looked down the list._ _

__“I have Mr. Shelby’s name here, but he has already entered the enclosure. Do you have your ticket?” He asked politely. _Think Rebecca. Think._ __

____

____

____“No, I do not. Why would I hold my own ticket? Is that not what a husband is for?” I pressed. The man cleared his throat and attempted to conceal his discomfort. “How long do you plan to keep a woman in my condition standing out here?” I asked him._ _ _ _

____“My apologies, Mrs. Shelby. Please enjoy the race. Terribly sorry for the misunderstanding.” The man said as he stepped aside and directed me toward the club. I smiled proudly to myself as walked toward the doors. Although I wasn’t a formal part of Tommy’s plan, it was exhilarating to meddle with other people again. A smart looking gentleman opened the door for me. Once inside, I quickly began to scan the room for Tommy. I spotted him sitting with Lizzie at a table near one of the overlook points. He whispered something to her, which prompted her to down an entire glass of champagne in one gulp. _Damn. _As he stood to leave his eyes connected with mine. He swiftly made his way through the maze of tables without taking his eyes off of me.___ _ _ _

______“Rebecca, the _fuck _are you doing here?” He questioned as he drug me outside by my elbow. He pulled me over to the side of the building, away from any onlookers, but even so his blue eyes continued shifting around nervously.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“That’s real nice Tommy.” I shot back. I was annoyed, and didn’t care if he knew it. I wanted him to know how furious I was with his stupidity._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You seriously cannot be here.” He said again, this time his voice was pointed and low. He was speaking as if he feared being overheard. His eyes connected with mine, and for a moment I saw great fear in his crystal blue eyes. “How did you get here?” He inquired sharply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“In a car.” I snapped again. “Tommy, are you fucking suicidal? All this business with Campbell and the IRA. Tommy look at me damn it!” I shouted as the frustration boiled over. Tommy’s head snapped back toward me. My scolding words finally earning me his full attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Rebecca, you have no idea what kind of danger you have put yourself in by coming here.” Tommy explained._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ladies and gentleman the race will begin in four minutes.” The announcer echoed overhead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I seriously have to go.” Tommy told me. “I want you to stay out of sight. Do you understand me? This is not the time to play games.” Tommy warned me. I nodded my head. _Perhaps I had compromised Tommy by coming. What was I hoping to accomplish anyways? Convince him to come home with me and give up on his plan? _“Good.” He said before turning.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Tommy!” I called as I moved to meet him again. He turned with the fear and concern almost completely concealed in his bright blue eyes. I ran my fingers delicately along his jaw before pulling him down to meet my lips. He pulled me in close to his body as he deepened our kiss. “I love you Thomas Shelby.” I whispered when our lips finally parted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I will always love you Rebecca Shelby. Remember that, no matter what happens today.” Tommy said. I nodded my head, unable make my mouth produce any words. “Now, please go somewhere safe and stay there until I come find you.” Tommy insisted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Alright.” I replied quietly. Tommy’s fingers fell away from my arm, leaving me on my own. _Alone again.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Tommy turned and made his way to the secret location where Lizzie was supposed to be occupying the Field Marshal. After an unexpected and aggravating stop by the police; Tommy hurried on his way to find an alternate route. He felt like a soldier in battle again. His heart raced inside his chest, and his eyes shifted quickly as he entered the tent. In a single swift motion, Tommy pulled his revolver from the holster and backhanded the police officer who was standing guard. When Tommy pulled back the curtain he found Lizzie bent over the latrine with the Field Marshal on top of her. He was too late._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Russell!” Tommy yelled as he aimed his pistol. Tommy heard his gun click. “Fuck!” He cursed loudly as Russell barreled toward him. Russell slammed Tommy’s back into the wall causing Tommy to drop his revolver to the ground. With no breath left in his lungs, Tommy lunged forward just as Russell pulled his arm back and delivered one punch to Tommy’s left cheek. Russell’s hand flew to Tommy’s neck, his fingers forming a tense grip on his neck. The two continued their sparring match while Lizzie fumbled helplessly with Tommy’s discarded revolver. When Tommy caught a glimpse of Russell’s revolver out of the corner of his eye, it sent another wave of adrenaline through his veins. They struggled for control of the gun, each of them knowing that it would be the only ending to their fight. Tommy used all his strength to point the revolver up at Russell and pull the trigger. Russell’s dead body fell to the ground as Tommy fell forward, nearly landing on top of his dead opponent. As Tommy stood up he took in a distraught Lizzie. With angry tears streaming down her face and her dress hanging half off her body Lizzie pointed the revolver at Tommy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Where the fuck were you?” She cried._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Give me the gun Lizzie.” Tommy demanded, his tone as steady as his blue eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Fuck you! You bastard!” Lizzie yelled as she shoved Tommy in the chest. Tommy raised his hands. He had no desire to apologize. He simply wanted her gone. His mission was far from over, and he couldn’t allow Lizzie to delay him any further._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Just go Lizzie. Go!” He ordered. Once Lizzie had gone, Tommy went to alert the police before making his way to meet Sabini. With police occupied, the Peaky Blinders would be able to carry out their mission. The only thing that stopped Tommy from enjoying his victory was the wild card in his life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I took a seat in the bar just as others began to clear out to watch the race. It had to look odd, but I had no desire to watch a horse race when all I could think about was Tommy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Is this seat taken?” An Irishman asked. I quickly looked up to find Chester Campbell standing beside my table. _Fuck.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I was just leaving.” I said through my teeth. All the warmth drained from my blue eyes as I glared up at the despicable creature in front of me. He was animal, less than human. He wasn’t worthy to walk the earth in the light of day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Now, now Mrs. Shelby. The nature of my business with your husband should have no effect on whether or not you share a drink with me.” Campbell said with a sickening grin. I scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I would rather be dead than spend another moment in the same room as you.” I spat before turning to leave. Campbell grasped my arm tightly, preventing me from leaving. A gasp escaping my lips as he violently turned me around and pulled me in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That can be arrange, Mrs. Shelby.” Campbell said, his voice dropping. “There are men here today, with purpose of killing your husband. Do not fool yourself, that the same could not be arranged for you.” He said. His eyes ablaze with rage over my defiance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Why are you doing this?” I asked. I did my best to disguise my fear in the face of the enemy, but knew I would not be able to keep it out of my voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Because Mrs. Shelby, I want to see your husband suffer for all he’s done. Today, I will even the scales.” Campbell explained. I stared at him in utter disbelief as he turned and walked away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________With the track in disarray, Tommy sat down for a smoke and whiskey while he waited for Sabini. Everything had gone according to plan. Sabini’s reliance on the police had cost him all of his pitches – leaving the Peaky Blinders with a monopoly. And his brief affair with May ensured that when Sabini did reapply for his legal pitches it would be a long and arduous process._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Mr. Sabini. Please, take a seat.” Tommy greeted a rather displeased Sabini. He whispered to his associate as they took a seat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Mr. Shelby,” Sabini greeted him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Was it a profitable day for you, Mr. Sabini?” Tommy asked as he relaxed into his seat. Sabini scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It always is.” He replied tightly as he snapped his fingers at the waiter to bring him a drink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You know, my men have been on the track. They’ve been having a bonfire.” Tommy said before bringing his cigarette back to his lips. His blue eyes sparkling with delight at his victory._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I know what you dirty Peaky Blinders are up to. I know everything.” Sabini spat. Tommy’s lips curled up into a please smirk. He took pride in his ability to unsettle his enemies._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You placed too much reliance on the police for your security, Mr. Sabini. That was your mistake.” Tommy said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Ah, the police. Yes…” Sabini mumbled. “I heard the police are looking for some Irish… what is it?” Sabini asked as he snapped his fingers at his assistant. Tommy’s eyes narrowed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“IRA, sir.” The man replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Ah, yes. I heard the police are searching the crowds now. Your wife is Irish, isn’t she Mr. Shelby? How long do you think it will take for them to find her with that gun in her purse?” Sabini inquired. Tommy’s blue eyes burned with anger as he stared down Sabini. Just as Tommy opened his mouth the police burst through the door and rushed toward him. Tommy scrambled to his feet and turned the table over. Sabini and his associate stepped back and watched as the officers wrestled Tommy until he was rendered powerless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Get your hands off me!” Tommy yelled as he thrashed violently against them. Tommy was too busy fighting to notice the surprised look on Sabini’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Shame he had to go so soon. I was just beginning to have fun.” Sabini said as he smoothed his suit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sir,” His associate stuttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Come. I want another drink before we go see Mrs. Shelby.” Sabini said as he walked off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the delay. I spent a lot more time writing and editing this chapter than I anticipated. But I hope you love it all the same!


	29. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Peaky fans!

Revenge

As soon as I walked out of the drink tent his hand covered my mouth while the other encircled my middle. He hoisted me up as he pulled me away. I screamed and fought to no avail. Everyone was preoccupied with watching the chaos unfold or too drunk to notice anymore. 

“Mrs. Shelby…” The man breathed in my ear. His gruff Italian accent made my stomach drop. “If you behave yourself, we won’t hurt you or your baby.” The man said. Every muscle in my body tensed as I looked around at the men surrounding me. Some of them were dressed in posh suits, while the others wore police uniform. _Shit. _How was I going to get myself out of this one? “Come on boys. Let’s get out of here before anyone spots us.” At his command, another man came to his assist him in picking me up.__

__“Please, I’m pregnant!” I begged in vain. They loaded me into large truck with a canvas cover over the back. Two men sat beside me in the truck, while another pointed his eyes and gun at me. I wouldn’t dare test them in my state. I couldn’t run or fight. If I did, it would mean harm to the baby. I don’t know why they thought I would risk that. We remained in a tense silence until we arrived at our destination. As the flaps opened, the two men drug me to my feet and forced me out onto the street. With a man holding either elbow, I cautiously made my way into the desolate building. I was surprised to find a group of finely dressed Italian men waiting for me. Instantly it clicked in my head. London._ _

__“Where’s the boss?” One of them asked._ _

__“He’s still at the races.” Another replied._ _

__“Well then, I suppose we will just have to find some way to entertain ourselves. Won’t we?” My original captor announced with a wicked smirk. I shot him a defiant glare and balled my fists at my sides. In the back of my mind I could hear Polly’s warning. I would not let my emotions get the better of me. He calmly shrugged his jacket off before he began to circle me. “This is divine! Why don’t you let me try it out.” He whispered in my ear as his hand traveled my bare flesh before grasping my ass._ _

__“The fuck you think your doing!” I yelled as I spun around and hit him square in the jaw. _Shit. _He stumbled to the ground. He cradled his injured jaw while I clutched my throbbing hand to my chest. But before I could catch my breath another man rushed up from behind and wrapped his arm tightly around my neck. Panic set in as I could no longer catch my breath. I grasped and clawed at his arm, but failed to free myself from his vice grip.___ _

____“That was very stupid, Mrs. Shelby.” He said as he stood to his feet. My vision was already fading to black from the lack of oxygen when his fist came hurdling toward my face. Blood streamed down my face as the tears pricked in my eyes. The blood quickly pooled into my mouth and caused me to cough. Despite the fact that I could hardly catch my breath, I would not let them get the better of me._ _ _ _

____“Is that the best you got?” I fired back before falling into another coughing fit. A smirk spread across his face as he reared his hand back again. My defiance only fueled his rage.___ _

______“Antonio!” An angry Italian voice bellowed. Instantly, the arm around my neck was gone. I took in a desperate breath before looking up at the exchange. From the way the one was screaming in Italian, I could only assume this was ‘the boss’ everyone was waiting for. Once Antonio’s tongue lashing was completed, the boss turned to me. His beady brown eyes traveled my body as he approached. “Mrs. Shelby.” He greeted. I found his voice unusually high for a man, and the nasal quality annoying to say the least._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So what the hell did my husband do to you, hmm?” I asked boldly. I stood tall and squared my shoulders back, my blue eyes revealing my deep displeasure. He turned back and smirked at his entourage before closing in on me. Something told me that Italian men did not like their women to be defiant. Perfect._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Surely you’ve heard of me, Mrs. Shelby.” He said proudly. If his ego were any bigger it would consume the whole room. I kept my mouth shut and stifled my laughter. I had no idea who he was, nor did I care to. But my silence was taken in an entirely different way. His eye twitched with rage as his face developed a red hue. “I’m Sabini! I fucking own London!” He roared. “Your fucking, Gypsy bastard of a husband is trying to take it from me!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m not sure what I can do for you Mr. Sabini. My husband does not involve me in his business affairs.” I replied calmly. Sabini nodded before a deranged snicker escaped his lips and echoed throughout the large room._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I did not bring you here for information, Mrs. Shelby. I have an army of men who feed me information. Like the man who followed you for an entire month. He was about to succeed in his mission when your husband killed him in the street?” He said, his voice eerily steady now. Sabini’s proximity would have been uncomfortable under normal circumstances, but in my pregnant state I felt increasingly threatened by his close proximity. “No, Mrs. Shelby, you are revenge.” He explained. “Tie her up and put her somewhere. They’ll have noticed she’s gone by now.” Sabini said as he turned and walked away._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No! Fuck no!” I shouted as I back handed the man who attempted to tie my hands. Antonio pulled his gun and pressed it to my temple._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Let me end her boss. She’s been a _fucking bitch _this entire time.” He bellowed.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“No! She stays alive. For now…” Sabini ordered. His dark eyes flickering back to mine momentarily. “Now would one of you tie her up! You incompetent fuckers should have tied her in the truck.” Sabini spat, disgusted his men. With a gun still pressed to my temple, I allowed them to bind my wrists together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t wait for some alone time with you, Mrs. Shelby.” Antonio whispered in my ear. The cold metal of his gun directing me away from the main room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hurry up Tommy.” I whispered quietly to myself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After being spared by Churchill, Tommy made his way back to Small Heath. He collapsed into his office chair while Michael made them both a drink. Tommy certainly hadn’t planned on being indebted to Churchill, but it was better than being dead. He decided that after a drink to clear his mind, and maybe another cigarette, he would go to Polly’s. Work it all out. “Tommy!” Arthur yelled as he crashed through the door. “Tommy, Rebecca’s gone.” The whiskey glass fell his hand as he bolted toward his brother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“The fuck do you mean!” Tommy demanded as he took Arthur by his shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“When Polly got home, Rebecca wasn’t there.” Arthur explained, allowing his brother to fall into him as the shock set in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I took her Tommy. I was about to tell you, but… I drove Rebecca to the races and gave her my ticket. Polly doesn’t know that I took her to the races. It’s all just a misunderstanding.” Michael explained quickly. Tommy turned. His blue eyes burned holes into Michael’s head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You idiot! Why would you do something so stupid!” Arthur bellowed. Tommy lunged for Michael’s neck. Arthur grasped at Tommy’s shoulders and tried to keep Tommy from strangling Michael._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Maybe she took a later train. She’s a smart woman. She’s probably just fine, Tommy.” Michael said in his defense._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s nine o’clock! There are no more bloody trains ‘til morning!” Arthur fired back at a now sorry looking Michael._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Easy Tom!” John said as he positioned himself between Tommy and Michael. “Rebecca’s not exactly easy to say no to. Michael had no idea what was going to happen today.” John said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She’s pregnant Michael! Did you even consider that?” Tommy questioned Michael harshly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Tommy, there’s one place we haven’t looked yet. What if she went home? To Watery Lane.” John suggested. Without another word, Tommy ripped free of his brother’s grasp and took off running as fast as he could toward the house on Watery Lane._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Go get your mother. Bring her here, then don’t move!” Arthur ordered Michael with a firm shake of his finger. Tommy’s mind was a complete blur by the time he arrived at the house. Tommy, John, and Arthur searched the residence with military precision. Their search ended in the bedroom. Nothing. The house was empty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fuck!” Tommy yelled at the top of his lungs as he tossed the nightstand across the room. The wood splintering against the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It was the fucking Italians, wasn’t it Tom?” Arthur asked. Tommy’s head turned sharply toward his elder brother. The question did not require an answer. It was obvious – Sabini had his wife._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Arthur, get every good man you can find. The one’s who served in the war. We’re going to London.” Tommy barked in an attempt to regain control over a situation that was far beyond his control. Within the hour, the best of the Peaky Blinders had arrived in Watery Lane. Armed with razors in their caps and guns in hand they were ready for battle. John and Arthur ordered them to load up into the box van Charlie brought around from the yard. Tommy observed them from the walkway. His steel expression once again in place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Tommy, are you sure about this? You sure you don’t want one of us to go with you?” Polly asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You said that I should have protected her. That’s what I’m doing now Polly.” Tommy replied coldly. His eyes never leaving his troops. Polly scoffed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“This looks more like a rescue mission to me Thomas.” Polly snapped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just get her things Polly. The rest of it is none of your concern.” Tommy said before leaving an infuriated Polly behind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It became my concern the day she left you!” Polly yelled far too loudly. Tommy stopped in his tracks. The street grew silent as all eyes landed on Tommy and Polly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Tommy, let’s go.” John called from the front seat of the truck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Got to go Polly.” Tommy muttered as he took a final drag off his cigarette before casting it aside._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I woke in a daze. My head throbbed as my vision came into focus. Once again on the stone cold floor. _Fuck. _I shifted myself into a sitting position the best I could with my hands bound. My entire body ached, but it was my face that felt like one giant bruise. The ropes around my wrists burned and stung from my struggling. I looked down at myself. Adrenaline pouring into my veins as I remembered it all over again. Antonio had stripped me down to my slip. He said that maybe the cold would make me more cooperative. The slip did nothing to protect my body from the cold air in this drafty building, but I would never open my legs to a man as despicable as him. If Tommy didn’t hurry, I would die of the cold before Antonio ever had the chance. Based on the fact that I had yet to see the sun rise, I knew I still had to survive more of this dreadful night. Alone. With a savage. Unable to defend myself. As if on cue, the metal door creaked open as Antonio entered.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You can’t possibly be back for more rejection.” I mocked him. He smirked as he bent down beside me. His cold hands grasped my chin, which sent a searing pain through my jaw. I hissed as he brought my face closer to his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s time this game ended.” He sneered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“This is not a game!” I yelled as my eyes filled with anger. “I would rather be dead than lay with the likes of you.” He tossed me back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I said, I’m tired of this game! Now lay on your back or I will blow your brains all over this floor!” Antonio bellowed as he pulled his gun out and pointed it at me. Suddenly, the warehouse filled with loud popping noises and men shouting. Antonio paused to listen to the unfolding battle. _I prayed, please God, make him leave. _“Don’t move!” He ordered as he turned and left the room. I slowly sat myself up and put my back against the cool wall. I let out a long sigh of relief. My heart filled with hope that Tommy would soon have me out of here. The lull in the shouting and gunfire led me to believe that maybe it was all over, but the appearance of Sabini in my makeshift cell told me otherwise. He yanked me to my feet by the elbow.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Walk slowly.” Sabini whispered sternly in my ear as he pressed his gun to my back. I did as he said and walked back to the main room. As we came into view I was overcome with the smell of blood. At least twenty of Sabini’s men lay dead, or bleeding out, on the floor. Tommy, Arthur, and John stood with a group of Blinders, each with their guns at the ready._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Lower your weapons!” Tommy ordered sternly. “Do not shoot.” He repeated as he lowered his own revolver to his side. For a moment his eyes told me how truly desperate he felt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Tommy Shelby.” Sabini called coldly. Sabini stopped us in the center of the room. His gun still firmly pressed to my back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mr. Sabini.” Tommy replied tightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“How nice of you to join us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Tommy he has a gun.” I blurted out. Sabini pushed me to the ground, before pulling me back to my feet by my hair. “Ah!” I cried, unable to hold back the tears this time. The hot tears smeared and mixed with the dry blood as they rolled down my face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Shut up!” He yelled in my ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mr. Sabini, you have me. You can let my wife go.” Tommy proposed. His steady gaze doing nothing to calm Sabini._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“She’s the only thing keeping you lot from putting a bullet in my head. Why would I let her go?” Sabini shot back. “Besides, we have so enjoyed playing with her. She is so accommodating. I can see why you married her Mr. Shelby.” Sabini said as he ran his hand down over my breast to my waist. I shuddered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah, she looks real willing!” John called with an accusatory tone from where he stood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It takes a real coward to use a pregnant woman as a shield.” Arthur spat as he raised his gun and pointed it at Sabini’s head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Arthur no!” I begged. But his actions was enough to anger Sabini. He wrapped an arm around my middle and pressed his gun to my head. “Tommy!” I cried out in a panic. Tommy’s eyes locked with my panic stricken blue eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Arthur, put the fucking gun down!” Tommy yelled. John and Tommy moved toward Arthur. Neither one of them fully trusting that he would put the gun down while high on Tokyo. “John, I want you to search the building. Make sure there are no surprises.” Tommy whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“He’s desperate Tommy. Desperate men don’t care who they take out with them when they die. Don’t test him.” John whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hey! You two, enough! If any of you so much as breath without my permission, I blow her brains out.” Sabini threatened as he pressed the barrel of the gun further into my temple._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You heard the man. No one moves.” Tommy said conceding to Sabini’s demand. Tommy motioned for everyone to stand down again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Tommy Shelby, the Gypsy King. Not so grand are you now.” Sabini spat before he let out a deranged laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What do you want? I have men. Money.” Tommy offered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s simple Mr. Shelby, you took something of mine, so I took the thing that you value most. But what I want most of all, is you dead.” Sabini explained._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“If you let my wife go unharmed, I will let you put a bullet in my head.” Tommy offered as he stepped forward slowly. I couldn’t fathom how he managed to keep his tone steady, and face calm despite the growing intensity of their negotiation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No! Your men will put a bullet in my head as soon as I let the bitch go. No deal!” Sabini shot back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, no they won’t. I’ll tell my men to stand down.” Tommy offered, taking another step closer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I want every fucking Gypsy out of this building! Now!” Sabini yelled in another outburst of anger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You heard the man. Clear out men.” Tommy ordered sternly. I watched as every man followed Tommy’s order, even John and Arthur. _What was Tommy doing sacrificing himself? _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That’s close enough. Put the gun down.” Sabini ordered. Tommy hesitated. “Put it on the floor!” Sabini yelled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Let her go first.” Tommy demanded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You put the gun down or she dies right now!” Sabini replied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Alright.” Tommy muttered in defeat. He kicked the gun off to the side before putting his hands in the air. Sabini cast me off. I landed on my hip with a grunt, unable to break my fall with my hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Turn around.” Sabini barked. Tommy obeyed and turned. Sabini kicked the backs of Tommy’s knees, bringing him down with a thud. Sabini pressed the barrel of his gun firmly to the back of Tommy’s head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Rebecca get out of here!” Tommy ordered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No. I won’t leave you.” I cried._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Go!” He shouted. His eyes shifted discreetly toward the revolver on the ground only ten feet from where I stood. _Was he fucking crazy? _He repeated the action, so I knew he meant it. I turned to leave, walking discretely a couple paces toward the gun, before I bent and picked up the revolver. My belly set me off balance causing me to fall once again. Unwilling and unable to fail now, I rolled over on my side as I cocked the gun. With less than a half second to aim I pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Sabini in the chest; just above Tommy’s head. Tommy stood slowly, his jacket coated in Sabini’s blood. My legs shook and threatened to buckle as I cautiously stood. I let out a sob as Tommy pulled me into his chest. One hand smoothed my hair while the other held me tightly against his chest.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“What did they do to you?” Tommy asked as he pulled away to look me over quickly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’ll tell you after I get the chance to see it for myself.” I replied. Tommy’s blue eyes stared back at me. I could tell from the intensity of his gaze that he had a million questions. But rather than question me, he slowly took the gun from my hands and holstered it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Let’s get those off.” Tommy said as he went to work. Unfortunately, even after Tommy removed the ropes the stinging pain remained. “Come on. We have to go.” Tommy told me as he took my hand and lead me outside. I emerged from my personal hell in the early morning light. I had survived the night. The waiting men lowered their weapons, but not their eyes. I folded my arms across my chest to cover myself. Enough men had seen me half naked for one day. “Go on!” Tommy scolded them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You alright?” John asked as he approached me. His concern was so genuine. The darkness in his eyes all but faded away as he looked down at my belly. “Esme would have my balls if I didn’t ask about the baby.” He told me._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yeah, yeah I’ll be alright John. I think the baby is fine.” I said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“We need to get a move on Tommy. Especially if you want to get there by nightfall.” John said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Get where?” I asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Rebecca,” Tommy said softly as he took my shoulders and turned me to face him. “We are going to go away until the baby is born.” Tommy informed me._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Where exactly do you expect me to have this baby, Tommy?” I asked as my volume escalated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Tommy we need to move!” Arthur called from the truck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Alright!” Tommy hollered. His eyes returned to mine. “Rebecca, this is the safest option. I can’t risk this happening again.” Tommy said. His mask broke, and the fear and brokenness came to the surface. “Please Rebecca.” Tommy pleaded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Alright Tommy.” I agreed as I nodded my head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The trucks arrived back at Charlie’s yard a few hours later. I looked on as Tommy’s men walked away exhausted after a long and sleepless night. I wanted to thank them but I knew Tommy wouldn’t approve. I took Tommy's outstretched hand and stepped down from the cab of the truck. I groaned when he directed me toward the stables. After my harrowing night, all I wanted was to take a bath and put ice on my face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Here, put this on.” He instructed as he handed over my dark green dress. “You should have what you need.” He said as he shrugged his coat off. I turned away from him and slowly removed the bloody slip. I pulled the green dress over my head before beginning to work on the buttons. Once I was fully clothed again, I sat down on a crate to pull my stockings on and tie the laces of my old boots._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“What are you doing?” I asked when I saw him saddling his horse. Tommy had already exchanged his bloody suit for a collarless white shirt, charcoal trousers, and matching jacket. He didn’t look grand. He was still handsome, but now he looked like an average man. It was a sight I never thought I would see as long as I lived._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Come here.” He called with a wave. I watched skeptically as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and began wiping the blood from my face. He blotted tenderly, and apologized softly when I hissed in pain. “It should heal alright.” He said after my face was clean._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“When do you plan on telling me where we are going?” I asked again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You’ll see.” He replied cryptically. His eyes not moving to meet mine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Tommy,” I warned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Trust me Rebecca.” He said as he turned. His blue eyes begged for me to go along with his plan. “Here,” He said as he shrugged off his overcoat. I accepted the black coat that was Tommy’s trademark. Although I was displeased with his secrecy, his kindness gave me the confidence to follow him. “It’ll be a long ride. And before you ask. No. We can’t take the car. They don’t have cars where we’re going.” He told me as he flipped a crate over and set it beside the horse. He helped me up onto the crate before he lifted me into the saddle. He put one foot in the stirrups and pulled himself up in one swift graceful movement. His arms came around me as he took the reins and clicked the horse onward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it! I would love to know your thoughts. Once again, thank you!


	30. I love you.

I love you. 

It was nightfall before we arrived at the encampment. My legs and abdomen ached from sitting sidesaddle, but the support of Tommy’s strong arms kept me upright when I tired. The camp consisted of about twenty caravans and tents. Small fires dotted the landscape, giving light to the dusky valley. We continued on into the center of the camp. A large crowd of people emerging from their homes to follow us. Tommy pulled back on the reins, bringing us to stop in the center of camp. Two men approached and helped me down from the horse. It took all my might to stay upright on my own while Tommy dismounted. My head spun and I reached out a desperate hand toward Tommy. 

“This way.” Tommy said as he took my hand and urged me on with the hand on my back. He guided me up to an intricately adorned caravan. A middle age woman with dark hair and dark eyes stood in the doorway. Her stature was small, but her gaze was formidable. I looked away as she examined us from her high position. I kept my head down to hide my face; fearing what she might say.

“Thomas Shelby.” She said. 

“Queen Mahala Lee,” He replied. “This is my wife Rebecca.” Tommy said introducing me. The woman stepped down from her caravan so she could take me in. I lifted my weary head to meet her dark eyes. I was sorry to meet such a respected woman under these circumstances. 

“May I?” She asked as he extended a hand to touch my belly. I looked to Tommy, feeling very unsure of myself. Tommy nodded me on. 

“Yes,” I replied quietly. She placed both hands on my belly. The woman’s face lit up as I felt the baby kick furiously inside of me. 

“You’ve a strong baby Thomas.” She beamed. 

“It’s has Shelby blood. I expect nothing less.” Tommy said proudly. The woman moved back to her position on the top step. 

“Until this child is born, these two will be among us. Speak of this to no one. Protect them as the kin they are.” She proclaimed. With the crowd in agreement, she motioned for us to follow her into the caravan. I placed my weight on Tommy in order to stay upright as I cautiously maneuvered the stairs. Inside was small, but warm, for which I was very grateful. The gold paint and candlelight gave the small space almost a spiritual atmosphere. “Welcome Mrs. Shelby, I hope you will feel welcome among us.” She said. 

“Thank you.” I replied politely. 

“How did such a nice girl marry a devil like you?” She joked as she cracked a smile. 

“A real mystery.” Tommy muttered as a smirk spread across his face.

“No… You love her Thomas. I can see it in your eyes.” She said as she looked between us. Tommy’s gaze shifted sideways to me. 

“Don’t lie to this woman. She not only has second sight, but an inherent ability to detect any lie.” Tommy warned me. 

“Is that how you know our baby is strong?” I asked, placing a hand on my belly. She nodded. 

“I’ve delivered and named every baby born in this camp for the past fifteen years.” She said. Taking in her words, I could only assume Tommy intended for her to deliver me when my time came. “I’m sure you’re very tired from your ordeal. Perhaps after a good night of rest you will tell me what happened to you, my dear.” She said to me. “Johnny has seen to your arrangement as was discussed.” She told Tommy. Tommy nodded and thanked her, before we made our way back into the darkness of night. Tommy guided me through the maze of caravans until we arrived at a green caravan with minimal adornment. 

“Go on inside. Let me see to him.” Tommy said as he worked to remove the saddle from the horses back. I nodded, which only made me woozy again. I opened the door to find a small one room space illuminated by a single candle. It contained nothing but a small bed, two bench seats, and a stove. I eased myself down into one of the bench seats as another dizzy spell threatened to bring me to my knees. A few minutes later Tommy opened the door. His blue eyes full of questions as he stepped inside. 

“Will it do?” Tommy asked. 

“Yes, it’ll do.” I replied. 

“Come here.” Tommy said as he took me by the hand and led me over to the bed. He lifted me up into bed with ease. In that moment, I envied his strength and energy after such a long day. I scarcely had the energy to keep my eyes open, and he was carrying on as if he was not taxed by the strain of last night’s events. “Rebecca,” He started before his voice trailed off. His expressions were difficult to interpret in the dim candle light, but the glistening of tears in his eyes was unmistakable. “God, I’m so fucking sorry.” He said after a while. His face broke and his mask fell away. The air rushed from my lungs as the single tear rolled down his cheek. 

“Tommy…” I whispered in disbelief. 

“No, please Rebecca. Let me speak.” Tommy said as he attempted to gather himself. He turned to me, his face wet with tears. “I thought if I kept you away from the business it would make you safe. I put your safety in the hands of other men when it should have been my responsibility. This is all my fault.” Tommy said as his voice cracked. He stretched out his hand and captured my face. The pain overflowed from his eyes as he forced himself to look at my injuries. 

“I wanted was to be close to you Tommy. To be sure you would be safe.” I told him quietly. 

“I told myself, even if it took making you hate me to keep you away from this trouble, that it would be worth it. I lied to myself. I thought you would be better off with Polly.” Tommy admitted. I had never seen this side of Tommy. He had never cried or displayed such vulnerable emotions before. I gave his hand a squeeze and laid my head on his shoulder. 

“You may have entrusted your men to keep me safe, but I was the one who left you Tommy. I constantly defied you and then ran away. Leaving you was inexcusable. I knew it was a sin, yet I did it anyway.” I admitted. 

“No. I’ve not been worthy of you for some time now. You are a good woman, Rebecca. A lot better than what I ever deserved after all the things I’ve done in this life.” Tommy said. 

“I love you Thomas Shelby. I couldn’t stop if I tried.” I replied. A small chuckle escaped his lips. 

“Your ability to forgive is nothing short of a miracle.” Tommy said. I smiled into his shoulder at his words. We stayed tucked into each other with our hands intertwined in my lap until a series of flutters interrupted the stillness. 

“Here.” I said as I moved his hand to the place where I felt the kick. Tommy couldn’t help but smile at the sensation. Everything – my exhaustion, questions, and emotions faded into the background. In that moment nothing else mattered. 

“It’s late and you must be exhausted. We can talk more tomorrow.” Tommy said before he stood and shrugged off his jacket. He removed one layer of clothing at a time until he was left in an undershirt and his underwear. Like a dumb girl, I had frozen on the side of the bed, watching him in appreciation. “Rebecca, are you alright?” He asked as he returned to where I sat on the edge of the bed. My eyes moved up his body until I met his eyes. 

“Um… yes. Just terribly light headed. I think it’s the lack of sleep or food. I’m not sure.” I replied.

“Here, let me help.” He said as he knelt to remove the boots from my feet. He set them carefully to the side before rising once again to his full height. “May I?” He asked quietly. I was so lost in his blue eyes that all I could muster was a nod. He went to work carefully unbuttoning the dozen buttons on my dark green dress before helping me to my feet. His calloused fingertips ghosting my skin as he slipped the dress off my shoulders. He placed the dress on the bench behind us before returning to bed. As we laid down, he wrapped his arms around my frame and pulled me in. The warmth that radiated off his body relaxed my aching muscles. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Wrapped in Tommy’s protective embrace, exhaustion quickly overtook me. 

“I love you,” I heard him whisper as I faded off to sleep. 

“I love you Tommy.” I replied before slipping into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you are, a short emotional chapter full of reconciliation! 
> 
> So what direction do you think this will go? Happily ever after? Or will more demons come to haunt Rebecca and Tommy?


	31. Women’s Business

Women’s Business

I woke to the sound of birds welcoming a new day. My face felt like a giant bruise; pounding with the beat of my heart. The pain left me feeling less than enthusiastic about the day. Despite all the pain, I turned my head away from the morning light that poured in through a small window and opened my eyes. I found Tommy still sleeping peacefully beside me. His face was a picture of serenity. For once it was undefiled by bruises, scars, or blood. My lips curled up as I stroked his face softly. His eyes fluttered open to reveal his striking blue eyes. 

“Good morning.” Tommy muttered, his voice deep and thick with sleep. 

“Morning,” I replied. 

“How did you sleep?” Tommy asked. As he sat up the thick quilted blanket fell down and revealed the various war tattoos and battle scars. 

“It was my first good night of sleep in a long while. And that is saying something considering this baby is crushing me constantly.” I told him with a smile. Tommy tutted as he reached over to gather his silver cigarette case and matches. 

“And your face?” He asked. He took a long inhale of his first cigarette of the day before turning his sharp blue eyes back toward me. I turned my eyes away from him. Not because I was ashamed to be seen by him, but I was sorry. Sorry that I allowed it to happen. 

“You tell me. Does it look as bad as it feels?” I asked frankly. 

“The bruises will fade with time.” Tommy replied. I nodded my head solemnly. “Come on. Let’s get on with the day.” He said as he stood to his feet. He turned back and offered me an outstretched hand. 

“What exactly am I to do all day?” I asked as I scooted to the edge of the bed and took his hand. 

“You will do what all Gypsy women do.” Tommy replied as he pulled his undershirt over his head. 

“Which is?” I prompted before shrugging the green dress over my head. 

“If I knew I would tell you.” Tommy said with a smirk as he pulled on his trousers. 

“Alright, Tommy Shelby. Why don’t you tell me what you will be doing all day? Hmm?” I asked sarcastically as I placed my hands on my hips. 

“I would say an honest day’s work, but I’ll be with the Lee boys so I can’t say that.” Tommy replied as he pulled his suspenders into place. “Hey, don’t worry. I won’t be far.” He promised when he sensed my hesitancy. 

“Alright,” I agreed. 

“Come on. We slept too long as it is.” Tommy coaxed as he took my hand and pulled me toward the door. 

“Tommy, wait. Wait just a minute.” I said as I pulled against him. “What will people think… about you know?” I asked, pointing to my face. Tommy let out a sigh. 

“Rebecca, people are going to think whatever the fuck they want. But if anyone is daft enough to mention it to you then you come tell me.” He said. I nodded in agreement, but his words did little to actually ease my worry. He led me out into the morning light and toward the center of camp. When we arrived at Queen Mahala Lee’s home she was waiting for us on the top step. 

“Thomas. Rebecca. Fine morning.” She greeted. 

“Good morning.” I replied. Tommy tipped his cap to her and remained silent at my side.

“Thomas, the boys have gone out already. They’ll be waiting on you. I assume you can find your way?” She said. Tommy nodded. 

“I’ll see you later on.” Tommy told me before he turned and left. 

“Bye.” I called after him. I turned my attention back on Mahala Lee. I shuffled my feet awkwardly. She had the same dark eyes that Polly possessed, and along with them the ability to pin you down.

“What do you say we have that chat now.” She said before turning and motioning me to follow her inside. I complied with her request and took the seat she offered. “So where in Ireland are you from?” She asked as she placed a cup of tea in front of me. 

“Dublin.” I replied. 

“So you are Catholic, are you not?” She asked.

“Yes, that’s correct.” I said. 

“What possessed your parents to bring you to a place as lawless as Birmingham?” She asked. I took a deep breath as I looked into my tea. 

“I actually came on my own. Both my parents have passed on.” I told her. She simply nodded. Her dark eyes staring directly into mine. 

“You hold great sadness in your heart Rebecca Shelby.” She said. 

“I have known great sorrow. I doubt that is much a secret.” I told her simply. 

“Tell me.” She said. I shot her a skeptical look. I paused, suddenly unsure if I should discuss such personal information with a practical stranger. Then I remembered that Tommy had trusted her with my safety, and her family to hide us. 

“My father died when I was sixteen. He was good to me and my mother…” I trailed off as my mind floated away to the place where I kept my mother. In the months after her murder I saw her every time I closed my eyes, but now she was banished to the far corners of my memory. It was not for a lack of love. Exactly the opposite. It was a matter of living in the past or being able to move on in life. 

“She was taken from you, wasn’t she?” Mahala Lee asked tenderly. I focused back on the older woman, and did my best to keep my composure. 

“Yes, she was.” I admitted quietly as my voice threatened to break. “She died protecting me. I try not to think on it much anymore. But recent events have brought back my doubts. What if I had the skills I do now, would she still be alive? If I had a gun that night the pair of them would have gone to hell on a cloud of smoke. I know I could have protected her better.” I told her, the bitterness unmistakable in my voice now. 

“Just because something is painful does not mean it is without purpose.” Mahala Lee told me. Her voice was soft, yet filled with a firm sense of wisdom. Her words made little sense, nor did they provide any comfort. 

“I suppose that is true. Although I don’t see how it applies to my mother.” I replied. I searched her dark eyes for her intentions, but they proved to be more elusive than even Tommy’s.

“Tell me, my dear child. What good would it have done to marry a boy you did not love? It may have spared your mother, but you would have lost a piece of your soul forever.” She explained. My blue eyes widened at her words. How had she known about Aedan?

“How did you know?” I stuttered. She smiled to herself. Obviously my confusion and surprise was amusing. 

“I heard the stories about the gun wielding young woman who took Thomas Shelby’s heart. Some disagree on the finer details, but they all agreed you were passionate and fearless in the defense of those you love.” She told me. I hung my head again. 

“That was quiet a long time ago.” I brushed her words off.

“No! I can see you Rebecca Shelby. You were born with strength and fierce determination. Far more than you know.” She countered. “Now, tell me how a woman as strong and skilled as yourself ended up as someone else’s punching bag?” She asked.

“That is a very long story.” I told her. 

“I have all day.” Mahala Lee replied simply; her dark eyes willing me to speak. I took a deep breath before starting from the beginning. I told her the whole story of how I came to know Thomas and his family, our adventures, and the fallout that led us to her camp. Mahala Lee sat in respectful silence as I spoke. Her face steady no matter how unsavory my descriptions. When I came to the end of my story I waited with batted breath for her response. “Sorrow has torn the fabric of your soul, but your ability to trust has remained intact. That is very interesting.” She said after a long silence.

“I guess it is my faith.” I replied.

“Can one have faith and be married to Thomas Shelby?” She asked skeptically. 

“I don’t condone his indiscretions, but I know him. He would do anything for his family. It is no excuse for some of the bloodshed, but it helps me come to terms with some of it.” I told her. She nodded. Her dark eyes continuing to examine me.

“What about when his business threatens your well-being?” She asked. I was growing increasingly exhausted with her line of questions. 

“I don’t understand-” I stopped when she raised a hand to silence me. I watched as she stood and moved over to the cabinet. She took a small hand mirror that had been hung on the wall and brought it back to the table. 

“Perhaps it is time you saw your face.” She said gently as her wrinkled fingers squeezed mine. I shifted my puzzled expression to the mirror as I lifted it out in front of me. A gasp escaped my lips as I took in my injuries. 

“Oh.” It was the only sound I could muster. I ran my fingers across my bruised jawline; and a searing pain along with it. Some of the dried blood remained crusted between my teeth. I would need to remedy that before too long. I looked then to the source of the blood. My nose and the area under both eyes were a deep shade of purple. If my nose had been broken, it had somehow set straight on its own. I set the mirror down on the table. I had seen enough. 

“I hope you know that I have not said anything today in hopes of turning you against Thomas. I only wish to remind you what lies within you Rebecca. You were born with all the strength, passion, and determination anyone could ever require. Now you have to be strong enough to use it. Use it to protect what you love most – your family.” She told me. I found myself at an utter loss for words at the end of her emotional inquisition. 

“I know.” I replied as a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. I swiped it away quickly, not wanting to be perceived as weak. 

“Now, I won’t blame you if you want to rest for the remainder of the day. You have been through an ordeal. But I would be amiss if I did not offer to introduce you to some of the ladies.” She said. 

“Would you blame me for wishing for make up to cover my face?” I asked her. She smiled kindly back at me.

“Don’t trouble yourself with it. No one will ask you any questions. I’ve warned them that such actions would bring the wrath of more than just Thomas Shelby down upon them.” She promised. I thought on her offer before nodding my head in agreement. “Good.” She said. I followed her lead down the steps and back into the camp. “You don’t understand much about us?” She asked after a while.

“I’m afraid not.” I replied reluctantly. She simply nodded her head.

“Well, good thing I know just the perfect person to teach you.” She said as she wrapped my arm around her own. “Margo!” She called out. A young woman with waist length dark brown hair and dark eyes turned at Mahala Lee’s words. The first thing I noticed about Margo was the swell of her pregnant belly underneath her apron. My heart leapt with joy. A warm smile spread across her face as she presented a hand for me to shake. 

“Margo Lee.” She said as she shook my hand. 

“Rebecca Shelby,” I replied with a smile.

“Oh, I know who you are. We all do.” She informed me. 

“I thought that Rebecca could help you with the wash today. Perhaps you could show her how we do things around here.” Margo nodded her head. “You’ll be in good hands my dear.” Mahala Lee assured me one last time before departing. 

“Well, might as well get started.” Margo said as she passed me an apron. “But first you’ll have to do something with your hair.” She told me. 

“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I must look a fright.” I replied apologetically. Margo held out a scrap piece of fabric. I raised an eyebrow; skeptical and uncertain of what she intended me to do with it. She shook her head as another warm smile formed on her face. She pulled the wavy strands of hair away from my eyes before quickly braiding it down my back. “Thank you.” I said as she moved to collect her basket. She perched the overflowing basket precariously on her hips. 

“Much better already.” She said as she looked me over. “Marian! Come along darling!” She called in her native tongue. A young girl, maybe four years of age, dressed in a simple tan dress and thick black tights barreled down the steps. “Oi! Slow down!” Margo warned. The child slowed at her mother’s request, but continued to skip happily ahead of us the entire way to the creek. 

“Here take this.” She said handing me a bar of soap. She sat down on a large stone bedside the creek and took to vigorously scrubbing at a shirt. I sat down and quickly followed Margo’s lead in scrubbing the clothes. Within a matter of minutes numerous women from appeared to shake the hand of Thomas Shelby’s wife. 

“Margo, do you mind if I ask you something?” I asked once the frenzy had subsided. 

“Sure,” She replied as she set her wash aside. 

“What’s it like? Having a baby, I mean.” I asked. Margo gave me a small smile. 

“You never seen a baby born before?” She asked, trying to not sound too surprised. 

“No, never had the chance.” I replied. 

“Well, I won’t lie to you. It’s the worst pain I ever felt in my life. But you forget all about it once you hold the babe in your arms.” She explained. Her smile only grew as she look over at Marian who was playing with some rocks a short distance away. It was as if she was reliving her own journey as she spoke. “You’re nervous, yes?” She asked. 

“Very much so.” I confessed. 

“Every woman is nervous, no matter how many she’s had before.” Margo assured me as she gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Her smile was so genuine, it was as if she was soothing one of her own children. “Gosh, I was only about sixteen when I had Marian.” She told me. 

“Really?” I replied trying not to look or sound too shocked. “How old are you now?” I asked. 

“I’ll be twenty this year.” She told me. My eyes widened. 

“You brave girl! I’m nearly twenty three, and I must be more afraid than you were at sixteen.” I confessed. Margo let out a hearty laugh, her head tipping back.

“Oh, but I was at the time. I was married a month when I fell pregnant. I was so afraid that people wouldn’t believe me when I told them it happened after the wedding. When my time came, my ma was with me through it all. I knew nothing would go wrong as long as she was with me.” She said. My stomach dropped. I shut my eyes and turning my head up, needing to feel the cool air on my face. “You alright?” Margo asked concerned. 

_Oh mama, I wish you could be here._

____

____

“Yes,” I replied quickly as I opened my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.” I told her. I scrambled to my feet as quickly as I could. I kept walking, desperate to clear my mind of the deep sadness that was threatening to swallow me whole. Speaking about my mother after such a long time had broken the mental barrier that kept my sadness at bay. I picked up the skirts of my dress, determined to make my feet carry me faster. 

_Mama I’m so sorry. If only I knew what I did now. I would have fought Byrne or shot him. If I’d just stayed and fought him, maybe you could be here with me. I wish you could be with me. I’m so afraid._

____

____

“Rebecca, where the fuck are you going?” Tommy asked as he took me by the shoulder. His voice as undone as his facial expression. I gasped as he turned me toward him, my eyes wild with confusion and fear.

“What?” I asked. I tried but failed to clear the mental fog that had dulled my responses.

____“Some woman named Margo came in screaming that you took off. I was calling after you but you kept running.” Tommy explained as he tried to recover his breath._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” I said shaking my head in a final attempt to clear my head. Tommy placed his hands gently on my shoulders. His sharp blue eyes searching mine now._ _ _ _

____“Eh, you can tell me. What happened? What’s got you so shaken?” He asked. I shook my head knowing that if I spoke about her that the tears would follow._ _ _ _

____“It’s nothing.” I lied. Tommy’s gaze intensified, his hand capturing my face so I could no longer avoid his eyes._ _ _ _

____“It’s not nothing Rebecca. Tell me why you ran off.” Tommy asked again._ _ _ _

____“I wish my mother could be here.” I admitted as the tears came to the surface. Tommy pulled me into his chest before the first tear could fall. “I’m terrified. And I’m ashamed to admit it. Even after everything that’s happened I’m still afraid to bring this baby into the world.” I confessed._ _ _ _

____“You will not be alone. You will have all the help you need.” Tommy promised. His fingers gently lifted my face so that our eyes came back together. “Is that the reason you took off?” Tommy asked._ _ _ _

____“I just wanted to clear my head.” I lied again. He placed a warm kiss on my forehead._ _ _ _

____“It will be alright.” He promised. I nodded my head, but my heart refused to settle. “Come on.” Tommy said as he took my hand and began to lead me back toward a confused Margo. “Will you be alright?” He asked quietly._ _ _ _

____“Yes,” I said giving him a reassuring nod. He turned and walked back down the hill toward a crowd of Lee boys and horses were waiting. I sat down beside a quiet Margo. “I’m sorry I took off like that.” I said._ _ _ _

____“Help me bring this back?” She asked as she stood. A reassuring and warm smile returning to her face._ _ _ _

____“Of course.” I replied. I took one handle and Margo the other, splitting the weight of the wet clothes amongst the two of us. Once the wash was hung to dry, Margo and I sat in front of the fire for tea. The conversation found a natural cadence as the tea warmed our chilled bones. It was near dark when the men returned. They were absolutely filthy with mud caked to their shoes and the hem of their trousers. I did my best to hide my own surprise to find Tommy among them. I could scarcely recognize the man who stood in front of us. His sleeves were rolled up past his elbows despite the chill in the air, his charcoal jacket draped over his arm._ _ _ _

____“You two look a cozy pair.” He commented._ _ _ _

____“And you look… muddy.” I replied which brought a giggle to Margo’s lips. Tommy fought his own smile at our childish amusement with his disheveled state. “I will see you in the morning Margo.” I told her as I stood._ _ _ _

____“Goodnight Rebecca.” Margo said. Tommy and I walked back toward the caravan in relative silence. Both of us exhausted from the long day._ _ _ _

____“Johnny Dogs!” Tommy called as we approached our caravan. Johnny turned, a cheerful smile plastered on his face._ _ _ _

____“Tommy.” He replied. “Rebecca, more beautiful than I remember. The family way suits her Tom!” Johnny said with a large smile._ _ _ _

____“Hello Johnny.” I greeted him. It had been a long time since I had seen Johnny. The last time must have been in Charlie’s yard before getting romantically involved with Tommy._ _ _ _

____“Did you bring what I asked for?” Tommy asked, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand._ _ _ _

____“Right here.” Johnny said as he pulled my gold wedding band from his pocket. Tommy took it and shoved it deep into his pocket before moving on to the canvas sack atop Johnny’s horse. Tommy immediately began to look through the bag despite his less than cleanly state._ _ _ _

____“Tommy Shelby if you get your dirty hands on those clean clothes I swear I’ll have you gutted!” I scolded as I took the bag from him._ _ _ _

____“What hell she gives you Tom!” Johnny laughed, his face beaming._ _ _ _

____“Johnny, thank you for these.” I said._ _ _ _

____“No trouble at all. Tom knew you’d need some more of your things. I just delivered.” Johnny said._ _ _ _

____“How is everything?” Tommy asked as he lit a cigarette. “It falling to shit in my absence?”_ _ _ _

____“John and Polly have the betting shop in hand. Arthur’s gone back to London. As far as I know London’s still standing.” Johnny reported with a chuckle. Tommy nodded seriously. I could tell he was doing business now._ _ _ _

____“Anything else I should know about?” Tommy asked as he exhaled. My eyes shifted between Tommy and Johnny as the tension grew._ _ _ _

____“Well you know Tom… people talk. You don’t kill the leader of a family and not get people talking.” Johnny said kicking some dirt._ _ _ _

____“What are they saying?” Tommy pressed. Johnny looked at me then back at Tommy._ _ _ _

____“Some of it’s not so nice Tommy. You sure you want her to hear it?” He asked. Tommy nodded as he took another drag. “Well they all know about the kidnapping… men talk to their wives, wives talk to other wives-”_ _ _ _

____“Fucking say it already!” Tommy demanded. His blue eyes narrowing on Johnny._ _ _ _

____“There is a lot of rumors. Mostly people are saying that Sabini’s men slaughtered the pair of ya. Then there’s the one where Rebecca was fucking Sabini, or maybe it was that Sabini was fucking her… Anyways, they both end with you killing the pair of them in a rage. But some are just calling you a coward. That one’s popular amongst the Italians.” Johnny said. I felt dazed. What kind of shit were these people talking about? While I was taken aback by the news, Tommy maintained his composure as he steadily puffed on his cigarette._ _ _ _

____“Fuck.” Tommy muttered before rubbing his face, smudging dirt all over it. “I’ll deal with it. Thank you Johnny.” Tommy said as he shook Johnny’s hand. Tommy opened the door and motioned me inside. I set the sack on the bench before turning to Tommy and waiting for his response. He lit another cigarette before speaking. “I have to go back.” Tommy said. The playful lightness in his voice from before was completely gone now. My heart sunk._ _ _ _

____“Tommy, no! You can’t just leave me here. I won’t stand for it!” I protested._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca, it’s just for a day. People need to see my face. Rumor or not, I can’t have anyone thinking I’m dead.” Tommy told me firmly as he began to undress. He shrugged his suspenders off his tired shoulders._ _ _ _

____“What about me? They think I’m dead too! Worse yet, people think I actually fucked with Sabini! Do I need to remind you why I look like this? It’s what I get for fighting with a sick bastard!” I shot back in utter disbelief and anger. Tommy held my shoulders gently, his piercing blue eyes connecting with mine._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca, I won’t bring you back to Birmingham. I can’t risk your safety. Do you even think you could make another trip there and back in your condition?” He asked. I hung my head. He was right. I was too far gone to be traveling, especially on horseback. “And I’ve never been more proud of you for fighting. You never should have had to, but I’m fucking glad you did.” He said. My anger retreated at his words._ _ _ _

____“No trouble. Promise me it is just for them to see your face. Promise me Thomas Shelby!” I demanded._ _ _ _

____“I promise. I’ll only stay long enough for people to see me. I’m the leader of the Peaky fucking Blinders. How can I expect Arthur to finish off Sabini’s men in London, or Polly to keep the shop up if people think I’m dead?” Tommy replied._ _ _ _

____“I know.” I admitted reluctantly. This went beyond the two of us, this was about the family. It had to be done._ _ _ _

____“I won’t be gone long.” He promised again before wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing me in close to him._ _ _ _

____“Geez Tommy, you smell foul!” I scolded him. I quickly pushed him away and brought my hand to cover my nose. Tommy chuckled as his lips curled up. Our conversation taking a lighter turn._ _ _ _

____“I smell like honest work. Just remember this is what it’d be like if I wasn’t who I am.” He teased. He wiped his face with his sleeve, which only smeared the mud on his face further. I laughed as he made another attempt to remove the dried mud but failed. His blue eyes looked even brighter amidst the mud._ _ _ _

____“For fuck sake take those clothes off and put them outside. I would tell you to bath, but I haven’t figured out how they do that here.” I said with my hand still covering my nose and mouth. He smirked as he knelt to untie his shoes._ _ _ _

____“I could march down to the creek ass naked.” He offered as he kicked his boots off._ _ _ _

____“You’d enjoy that too much, wouldn’t you Tommy?” I replied. He shot me a mischievous smirk as he slipped his undershirt over his head and unbuttoned his trousers. Removing the last of his clothing with one final motion, he stood up straight with a proud smirk plastered across his face. The shadows of candlelight providing more than enough light to illuminate the curves of his body._ _ _ _

____“Now what would you have me do, Mrs. Shelby?” He asked a hint of seduction in his voice. I remained silent as I continued to examine him. He took a step toward me, which brought my attention back to his face. “Will you have me Rebecca?” He asked as he reached out and tangled his fingers in my hair._ _ _ _

____“Why would you want me like this Tommy?” I asked quietly. So much had transpired since the last time – hell even in the past 48 hours. As much as my heart longed to be close to him again there was an undeniable thought floating around in my mind that told me there was still much to be said and explained between us._ _ _ _

____“You are my wife Rebecca. I will always want you.” He replied quietly. His tender reply bringing an end to my logical thoughts. He brought me into a gentle kiss. It lasted but a second before he pulled back. His bright blue eyes returning to mine. “I missed you. Sometimes so much it hurts. After everything that has happened I would forgive you for denying me, but I still hope you will have me.” At that there was no need for further words, or reason. I reached up and pulled him into a crushing kiss. One arm slipped over the muscles that bulged under his freckled shoulder, while the other hand ran over the short hairs on the back of his head. His tongue moved methodically across my lips begging for entrance. He wrapped his arms around my waist to bring me flush against his naked body. I could feel his excitement, which only fueled the fire forming in my core. He deepened our kiss as he directed me toward the bed. My feet momentarily left the floor when Tommy lifted me onto the elevated bed. I hastily fumbled with the buttons on my dress while Tommy nibbled at the soft skin on my neck. We separated long enough for Tommy to pull the dress over my head and discard it on the floor. He didn’t bother to remove my stockings and boots. His hands traveled down my hips. His deft hands removed my underwear with a single swift motion. Without another hesitation he entered me, a loud moan escaping my lips as I stretched to accommodate him. His lips returned to mine as he continued with his skillfully rhythmic movements. With every thrust I felt my walls begin to tighten around him. Tommy’s movements grew less coordinated as we approached our climax together. Unable to hold on any longer, my entire body tensed as a groan rumbled deep from Tommy’s throat as he came. He rolled onto his back and continued his labored breathing._ _ _ _

____“That was… wow.” I breathed as my chest continued to rise and fall. I heard Tommy chuckle as he rolled up onto his side. He propped his head up with one arm, his bright blue eyes dancing playfully down my naked body._ _ _ _

____“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Tommy said. I turned my head, a content smile on my lips. After my breathing recovered we moved under the blankets and settled in together. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the rhythmic beat of his heart. The only light now came from the tip of Tommy’s burning cigarette. It had been wonderful and carried absolutely no consequences. I could appreciate now why Esme was always pregnant._ _ _ _

____“Tommy.” I said, breaking the silence._ _ _ _

____“Mm,” He hummed quietly in response._ _ _ _

____“Can I have my ring back?” I asked. He did not reply; he simply untangled his body from mine and went to search for the ring amidst the pile of clothes. He returned minutes later. His skin slightly chilled from the night air. He took my left hand and gently slid the gold wedding band back into place on my fourth finger. “You never took your ring off.” I said. He laid down on his back and opened his arms for me to join him. I snuggled into his side, my fingertips lightly playing over his chest._ _ _ _

____“I saw no reason to take it off.” He replied._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry.” I told him again. The pain and regret creeping back into my heart and voice._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca,” He said quietly. I looked up at him and hoped the lack of light would conceal the regret that was etched on my face. “Enough apologies. It’s done and over as far as I’m concerned.” He assured me. I nodded my head before I settled back into his side. We shifted against one another for a few minutes until we found a position that was comfortable for the both of us. Sleep was slightly more elusive this time. With Mahala Lee’s words swirling around in my head like a cloud of smoke. The memory of my mother hiding amidst her words now. I took a deep breath and pushed the smoke from my mind._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is in sight readers! I can’t wait to share it with you!!


	32. Tommy Shelby Lives

Tommy Shelby Lives 

“I’ll be back late. Don’t wait up, alright.” Tommy said as he tightened the saddle. He turned back, a sigh on his lips and a forced smile. He was dressed in a clean three piece navy suit with a crisp white shirt and collar. It had been less than a week with the Lee’s and he seemed more than ready to return. Even if the purpose of the trip was to prove to the whole of Birmingham that Tommy Shelby was very much alive. 

“Be safe.” I told him. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before positioning his cap firmly on his head.

“Try not to have that baby while I’m gone.” He said as he pulled himself up into the saddle. 

“Thomas Shelby, I should have you whipped for mentioning the possibility of such things. But considering you are the father, I’ll turn my head just this once.” Mahala Lee warned as she approached Tommy’s horse.

“How about you just behave yourself, eh.” He told me with a smirk. 

“She will be just fine, Thomas.” Queen May Lee promised. He gave Mahala Lee a final nod before turning the horse in the direction of Birmingham. “I have just the thing to keep your mind busy.” Mahala Lee said as she turned to me with a smile. 

 

Tommy tried to cherish the hours of peace and quiet as he rode. It gave him time to consider his most advantageous move. He would need to be judicious with his time if he was going to keep his promise of only spending the day. If he was honest, what he wanted was to ride south all the way to London. The business there needed his attention; maybe even more than Birmingham. Arthur and his men had the challenging job of flushing the remainder of Sabini’s men out. Tommy knew that Sabini’s murder was sure to attract others who were eager to fill the power vacuum in London. If Derby day had gone his way, Sabini would have been exiled and rendered powerless. There would have been a swift take over, devoid of any power struggle. His unexpected death added yet another complex layer to the situation. Then there was the matter with Churchill, and the fact that he was still indebted to the powerful man. By the time Tommy arrived in Charlie’s yard, his quiet thoughts had given way to a pounding headache. Tommy dismounted and passed the reins off to Curly. He took a deep breath and welcomed the smoggy air back into his lungs. 

“Welcome home Tommy.” Curly stuttered. 

“It’s good to be back Curly. See to him would you? He’s come a long ways.” Tommy said as he rubbed his hand over the horses mane. 

“Yes, Tommy.” Curly said as he began mumbling to the horse in his native tongue. Charlie abandoned his work to greet his nephew. 

“Tommy,” He greeted. 

“Heard things got a little fucked up on the home front, Charlie.” Tommy said as he lit a cigarette. He could only hope the cigarette would take the edge off his pounding headache. Thoughts of Churchill, Sabini, and the family business banged around in his mind like a fucking drum. 

“Eh, from what I hear John and Polly are doing alright. I haven’t heard from Arthur… or about him now that I think about it. Considering his temper and love of drink, I’d say no news is good news.” Charlie said. Tommy nodded as he took another slow drag off his cigarette and considered his uncle’s words. “Rebecca doing alright up there? I’ll hand it to ya Tom, you got yourself a good Catholic girl, but she’s no gypsy. You know how women folk can be.” Charlie said. 

“She’s alright Charlie.” Tommy replied. Charlie nodded, sensing Tommy’s disinterest in the current conversation. “I’ll be back. Make sure my horse is ready.” Tommy said before he strode off towards Watery Lane. He took his time as he strolled past the crowds of women who gawked at the sight of him. The women cleared out of his way, while the men quickly tipped their caps. He kept his eyes steady ahead of him. This visit was about business, not revenge. There was no time for deviation if he was to keep his promise. When Tommy opened the door he found business continuing on as usual. His dark figure in the doorway brought the previously bustling room to a screeching halt. 

“Oh fuck.” Polly muttered as her nephew strode confidently over to where she stood in the center of the betting shop. A dozen quiet eyes now fixated on the pair. 

“Hello Pol. Miss me?” Tommy replied with his usual confidence. A smirk playing at his lips as he eyed his aunt. People needed to know that nothing had changed. He was still Thomas Shelby. He looked like a proud king as his bright blue eyes scanned across the room. “John, a word in my office.” Tommy called over his shoulder as he made his way down the hall. John closed the door behind them only for Polly to burst through moments later. Tommy didn’t let Polly’s intrusion stop him from pouring a generous glass of whiskey before taking a seat behind his desk. 

“Tommy, the fuck are you doing here?” Polly questioned him harshly. 

“Johnny Dogs told me that people think I’m dead. I can’t be dead and expand a business at the same time, can I Pol?” Tommy replied. His tone commanding the respect due. Polly rolled her eyes. 

“If there was trouble, don’t you think I would have sent word to you? It’s just women talking. That’s all. Not even their own husbands give a fuck about what they have to say!” Polly pressed. Her brown eyes narrowed on her nephew as she leaned over his desk. Tommy stood to his feet, not to be outdone by his aunt. He leaned in while balancing a cigarette in one hand and a whiskey in the other. John simply stood back and waited for the inevitable argument to ensue. “Where’s your wife Thomas? Did you fucking abandon her again?” Polly demanded. 

“It’s funny you mention her.” Tommy began. “My dear wife has become the subject of many rumors. Now, I don’t like a single one of them; but the one I hate most is where I kill her for fucking Darby Sabini.” Tommy told them sharply. His bright eyes flashing between Polly and John. 

“Tommy, please tell me that you didn’t come all this way because some women talk too much?” Polly replied, her tone full of mockery and pure displeasure. Tommy’s harsh gaze settled on his aunt once again. 

“No, I came to make rumors of my own.” Tommy replied cryptically. Polly eyed him sharply, her displeasure palpable to all in the room.

“John, how’s business?” Tommy asked as he shifted his attention to his younger brother. 

“I think that’s more my area of expertise, don’t you? Considering I’m company treasurer.” Polly interjected. Tommy’s eyes remained on John, not honoring Polly’s objection with so much as a glance.

“We had a profitable day at the races. And that isn’t the half of it! Arthur’s reclaimed the Eden Club from Sabini’s men. It should turn a profit before the months end. With the last of Sabini’s men out of London, our bookies are guaranteed a position on every racetrack from Birmingham to London. The only business that could use your attention is Solomons.” John reported. Tommy nodded. 

“Let’s hope Arthur keeps it on the books. I won’t have his obsession with snow fuck the entire London operation up.” Tommy said as he waved his cigarette in the air. 

“What’s left of Sabini’s men are in hiding. Run them down into the fucking sewers we have Tommy.” John told him proudly. A boyish smile spreading across his face. 

“That’s good news John boy. Now, I need you to get me the name of the man who owes the most money to the company. You have until I finish my meeting with Michael.” Tommy said. Taking a final puff of his cigarette, Tommy turned to leave. His curiosity fully satisfied with the brief status report. 

“And when do you intend to bring your wife back? Thomas! You can’t hide her away forever!” Polly called after him. Polly’s words stopped Tommy in his tracks. Her words struck a chord within him; one he wasn’t aware of until this moment. Tommy turned sharply on his heel and marched right up to where he’d left Polly moments ago. His blue eyes were ablaze with anger. 

“No. Thomas Shelby does not hide. Hiding is for fucking frightened children.” Tommy spat as he pointed an accusatory finger at his aunt. “If anyone asks, you tell them I’ve taken my wife on a holiday. She is not hiding, and neither am I! You know what? Why don’t you let John take anyone stupid enough to ask questions around the back, and he can show them exactly where I’ve gone.” Tommy said, his voice low and pointed. His blue eyes daring Polly to challenge him again. Silence fell, snuffing all the oxygen out with it. Polly’s silence told Tommy that he’d made his point. 

 

With John tasked and Polly in her place, Tommy made his way to the new offices on Jamaica Street. He required a status report from Michael on the legal side of things before moving on to his next task. As soon as he stepped into the entry way, Tommy felt a wave of warmth wash over his chilled skin. It relaxed his tense muscles after his encounter with Polly. He removed his black overcoat and cap before making his way further inside. His eyes fell on Lizzie’s slim figure perched behind the desk. The click of the typewriter keys brought back Tommy’s pounding headache with full force. 

“Tommy,” Lizzie stuttered nervously as she stood to her feet. Her dark eyes carefully watched Tommy’s dark figure waltz over to her desk.

“Lizzie,” Tommy greeted her quickly. He dropped his coat and cap on her desk before he let himself into Michael’s office. “Michael,” Tommy called. 

“Tommy! You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Michael said enthusiastically as he stood up to greet his boss. “Has Rebecca had the baby? You back already?” He asked. His smile was so full of a youthful joy, while Tommy reluctantly returned a subtle nod. His face poised for business matters, rather than genuine family relationships. After all, Tommy still held some animosity in his heart for the role Michael played in the Derby fiasco. 

“No, not yet. These things take time, or at least that’s what they all keep saying.” Tommy said as he pulled out a cigarette from his silver case. He slowly rolled the cigarette between his lips before he brought his hands up to protect the naked flame. “Tell me, how is the legal side of things?” Tommy inquired as he settled into the chair opposite of Michael. Michael slowly took his seat and pulled out a thick leather bound ledger. 

“Running like clockwork from my perspective. Profits are steady, but could be better.” Michael reported. 

“I assume you have a proposal.” Tommy replied. Michael nodded. Tommy motioned for him to proceed before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. 

“Well, what I’ve been wondering is why we only make spare Riley parts? Why not make the cars? It’s not like we don’t have the men who already know how to make all the parts. We would just have to teach them how to put it all together. Now Tommy, I’ve run the numbers. We have the money and then some.” Michael said, his eyes full of longing for approval. Tommy sighed and motioned for him to continue on. “I think the old warehouse on Livery would be a good place to set up a larger operation.” Michael said. Tommy quietly mulled over Michael’s proposal. His headache creating road blocks to what would otherwise make this a straightforward decision. 

“Have you spoken to your mother about this?” Tommy inquired.

“Yeah, she thinks it’s a smart move for the company. It’s more legit business.” Michael replied. That’d have to be good enough, Tommy thought. 

“Alright Michael. Do I need to sign anything?” Tommy asked as he stood to his feet. 

“No, uh, John or Arthur can sign the papers later. I mean when I have the papers.” Michael said as he stood. 

“Good man, Michael.” Tommy said before turning to leave. 

“Tommy!” Michael called. His sudden plea brought Tommy to a halt in the doorway, much like his mother’s earlier. “I am sorry about the races and Rebecca. If I’d a known, I never would have agreed to take her.” Tommy found Michael’s apology to be a genuine one. He still wanted to do the right thing, and that is why Tommy had entrusted him with a job in the first place. Unfortunately, doing the right thing rarely applied to decision making in the Shelby family. It was a lesson Michael had yet to fully learn or understand. 

“That’s the problem, ain’t it Michael.” Tommy replied as he inhale deeply. “Right. Well, if you have any trouble you send word to your mother and she will know how to contact me.” Tommy said. He quickly moved from Michael’s office to his own. He firmly closed the door behind him in hopes that Lizzie would not knock on the door and then invite herself in either way. He poured himself a generous glass of whiskey before he allowed himself to relax into the comfort of his leather desk chair. Its comfort alleviated some of the pain he felt in his back from the long ride, but it did little to ease his thumping headache. After he took a gulp of whiskey, Tommy picked up the phone and receiver. 

“Do you have a name?” He asked as soon as his younger brother picked up the phone. 

“Ellison Wilcox III. He owes us a tidy sum, he does Tommy. Those rich pricks don’t know when to quit.” John reported. 

“I’ll be in touch.” Tommy replied, his voice running cold. 

“Tom, what exactly do you intend on doing with him?” John inquired.

“Oh nothing much. Just a house call.” Tommy said, his voice sounding more devoid than nonchalant. 

“You sure that’s such a good idea?” John pressed.

“Thanks you for your concern John boy, but it’s not necessary.” Tommy said before he hung up the receiver. He discarded his cigarette in the ashtray before he rose to his feet. He downed what remained in his glass before making his way to the door. He collected his coat and cap off Lizzie’s desk without so much as another word to Lizzie. His icy blue glare was the only farewell he found fitting for Lizzie. As he marched toward the front door, he made a mental note to have John fire her before he came back again. He would call John later and tell him to fire the foolish girl who refused beyond all reason to love him. First, he had a rich brat to pay a visit to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Tommy got himself into during that house call? Murder? Money? One may never know. But one thing is for sure, Rebecca must never find out...
> 
>  
> 
> Only 2 or 3 chapter left! And there is so much to fit into those chapters. I can’t wait to share them all with you!


	33. Another Shelby

Another Shelby  
May 1921

Earlier on in afternoon one of Mahala Lee’s sons was married. This meant only one thing – a party. After attending my first Gypsy wedding ceremony, there was a grand spread of food and sweets. And there was enough alcohol to drown all of us. The barrels of ale were being sucked dry faster than even the busiest night at the Garrison. As afternoon turned to night, the sun dipped below the hillside and the sky was painted in a rich shade of orange. The upbeat folk music floated lightly through the air, infecting everyone in earshot with merriment. It had been a long time since I had seen such a lively party, or a wedding for that matter. If it had been different circumstances I would have been there in the midst of it all, not acting my age. But as my time grew nearer I could not shake this feeling of absolute exhaustion. So I was content to enjoy the festivities from my position on the bale of hay next to Tommy. He sat beside me with his shoulders relaxed. He held a cigarette between his fingers and balanced a mug in the other. I could tell that he loved it; not that he’d admit to anyone. Tommy looked sideways at me. His blue eyes were light, full of life and happiness. The way the firelight accentuated his sharp facial features made him look even more handsome. I smiled back at him, my heart threatening to overflow with happiness. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy said as he hopped off his makeshift seat. “Will you dance with me?” He asked, his tone far too formal. The gesture was sweet, but I could not contain the laughter that burst from my lips. 

“No, Tommy. No! Honestly, in the state I’m in?” I questioned him. Tommy’s smile refused to budge. My words not discouraging him in the slightest. 

“You have been sat here all night. What happened to the Irish are superior dancers, hm?” Tommy countered. I shook my head furiously as he took my hand and pulled me to my feet. Reluctantly I followed him onto the makeshift dancefloor. 

“Tommy, look at me. How do you expect me to dance?” I asked as I motioned to the blurs of color surrounding us. The dance was fast, even by my standards. Tommy took my hand and placed it on his shoulder before carefully positioning the other. 

“Trust me and follow my lead.” He said as he started us out slow. He lead us gracefully amongst the other dancers while I got the feel for the movements. Honestly, I was just surprised that I could make my feet move fast enough. Once I had my bearings, I could not contain my smile, and neither could Tommy. The song came to an end and applause erupted. “Not so bad was it?” Tommy said with a pleased look. I rolled my eyes and swatted at him playfully. 

“No. It was perfect.” I replied with a smile. He leaned in, removed his cap before bringing his lips to meet mine. 

We spent the night celebrating and dancing. It was well past midnight by the time Tommy and I disappeared to our caravan. Despite the late night Tommy still woke before the sun. He made a morbid joke about France and sleep deprivation on his way out the door. I simply shook my head and returned to bed. It was easy to slip back into a deep sleep; my body ached with exhaustion. Margo’s colorful morning greeting two hours later finally pulled me from bed. We spent the morning at the river with the washing. By early afternoon we had finished with the washing, and all that remained was to hang it to dry. We were on our way back from the creek with Marian in tow when I doubled over in pain. I dropped the basket and brought a hand to my belly, willing it to pass like the others had. I had never felt a pain like this one. This was completely different from the twinges and cramps I had felt over the past few hours. Margo had told me to relax and not worry. She said I would know when the pains were real. 

“Oh, no. Margo.” I winged. “I think this is it.” I told her. Margo knelt in the mud beside me and placed her hand low on my belly. Her face went white as she moved her hands over my belly.

“Marian, go get the others.” Margo said in her native tongue. Although I couldn’t understand the words, the urgency in her tone required no translation. “Come on. You have to stand.” Margo instructed as she helped me to stand upright. She wrapped an arm around my waist and urged me on. “Please! Rebecca, you have to walk. I can’t hold you up on my own.” Margo begged. Somehow, I willed my feet to move despite the pain. With every step it felt like a white hot knife threatening to split me in two. 

“Margo, I can’t anymore!” I cried. We were nearly back to camp, but I couldn’t go on anymore. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I leaned into Margo’s shoulder as an earth shattering cry burst from my lips. Thank God Mahala Lee and some of the others women were already on their way to meet us with little Marian leading their way. Mahala Lee took my other arm and forced me forward. “Fuck!” I cursed loudly as another wave of pain hit. 

“There it is my girl. This is it.” She said. If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn there was joy in her voice. 

“Where’s Tommy? I want to see him.” I asked as they helped me up the stairs of the caravan. 

“I’ll send someone to fetch him, but this is women’s business. There’s no need for him now.” Mahala Lee said as she helped me toward the bed. I flopped back into the bed and took a long deep breath. “Trust me dear, if men saw the suffering that goes into birthing a baby, no one would ever have a second child.” She told me. 

“Oh god! How much longer?” I asked. A sympathetic smile crossed her face. 

“This is likely just the beginning.” She said as she pushed my skirt up. “Let’s see.” I tried to relax as she examined me but tensed with the onset of the next pain. A cry escaped my lips as my entire body tensed. Mahala Lee whispered to Margo in their native tongue. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked as I propped myself up with my elbows. The panic truly set in at the sight of Margo rushing off. No woman as pregnant as Margo would run if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Mahala Lee sighed; her dark eyes leveled with my fearful blue ones.

“The baby is coming very quickly.” She said as she rolled her sleeves up. “Rebecca, look at me. Pretty soon, too soon, your body is going to take over. You are going to want to have this baby born. Do not push with the next pain. Do you understand? We have to slow this baby down.” She instructed. I nodded my head frantically. My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I panted. I resisted the urge, but that gave way to an even more intense burning pain. I swore loudly. It felt as though I would come apart with the next one if I couldn’t push. Suddenly, the door burst open and a breathless Margo entered. She quickly filled a basin with boiled water and handed Mahala Lee an armful of blankets.

“It’ll be alright.” Margo said as she took my trembling hand. I gripped her hand tight in hopes that her courage would somehow transfer over to me. 

“Get up there and help her Margo.” Mahala Lee instructed. Margo did as she was told. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me up against her own large belly. 

“Here, put your hands there. It’ll help you.” Margo said as she moved my hands to my knees. 

“I can’t do this! I can’t do it!” I cried as I allowed the fear grip my soul. _Oh mama, I wish you were here. _A single tear slid down my cheek.__

__“You can do it and you must do it. Come on now.” Margo said as she gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze._ _

__“Rebecca,” Mahala Lee called. Her quiet and commanding voice opened my fearful, tear filled eyes. The steady gaze of her dark eyes was all that kept me from surrendering to an all-out panic. “Push with the next one, but you have to stop when I tell you. Can you do that for me?” She asked. I nodded my head just as the next pain built. Margo helped me to pull my knees to my chest while I pushed with all my might. “Alright, stop, stop.” Mahala Lee said after a few seconds. I groaned as I fought to stop body. “The head is here. Good work my girl, good work.” Mahala Lee said with a smile._ _

__“Oh Rebecca, if only mine had come this quick.” She said. Her words full of encouragement._ _

__“I wish my mother was here.” The voice that emerged from my lips was scarcely recognizable. It sounded utterly broken, barely above a whisper._ _

__“She is my dear. She would be so proud.” Mahala Lee said as she squeezed the hand rested on my knee._ _

__“Okay.” I whispered._ _

__“Now with this next one, push just a little.” Mahala Lee instructed. I pulled in a ragged breath and nodded my head._ _

__“Do just as she says. You’re nearly there. It will all be over soon, I promise.” Margo said in my ear. I felt the tension build again, which brought another unrestrained cry from my lips._ _

__“That’s it!” Mahala Lee said. Finally, the burning pain subsided and a shrill cry filled the room._ _

__“Look! Rebecca look!” Margo coaxed as she rubbed my arm vigorously. I looked down at the baby Mahala Lee held wrapped up in a blanket. _My baby. _“It’s your baby!” She told me happily.___ _

____“Is the baby alright?” I asked. The adrenaline coursing through my veins made it impossible to have a single rational thought in my head._ _ _ _

____“He’s perfect my dear.” She replied as she placed the baby on my chest. With her words, the tears fell like a waterfall and there was nothing I could do to stop them._ _ _ _

____“A boy?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around him._ _ _ _

____“Yes dear. A healthy boy. What will you name him? Everyone will want to know.” Mahala Lee asked._ _ _ _

____“I don’t know. Tommy and I never discussed it.” I replied. Perhaps we should have because now I found myself mesmerized by the baby boy in front of me. I ran a shaky hand gently over his soft skin. In my whole life, I’d never seen anyone as perfect as him._ _ _ _

____“Well, let’s get you cleaned up. Then you and Tommy can decide on a name.” Mahala Lee suggested. She turned to fetch another towel and the water basin._ _ _ _

____“Here, put him just like this. He’ll know what to do with the rest.” Margo said as she helped to unbutton my shirt and positioned the baby on my bare chest. Margo was right. He latched and began to nurse without so much direction from me. I stared down at my son in utter amazement. In my eyes, everything about him was perfect. I gently stroked my fingertip along the soft skin of his cheek. His skin was fair, more like mine than Tommy’s. However, the piercing blue eyes that gazed back up at me were undeniably from his father._ _ _ _

____“I promise, as long as I live, no one will ever hurt you. You will always be safe. I promise.” I whispered._ _ _ _

____“A natural.” Mahala Lee said as she stood back and observed the interaction. After a while, only when she was sure that the bleeding had slowed, she took the baby while Margo helped me to change._ _ _ _

____“This will feel a lot better.” Margo said. I lifted my arms so that she could slip the nightgown over my head. She took my sweat soaked, bloody clothes and set them with the soiled blankets. “I’ll wash these and bring them back. I’ll be back in the morning. I’m sure by then the sheets will need boiling.” She said. I tucked myself under the thick quilted blanket, and relaxed into the pillows. I felt raw from the waist down, and every muscle in my body ached._ _ _ _

____“You’ve been a good friend to me Margo. How will I ever thank you?” I asked. Margo gave me a small smile and shook her head._ _ _ _

____“We’re family. There’s no need to thank me. If you need anything, day or night, just send Tommy around. I can’t sleep most nights anyways.” Margo said. Her smile still full of kindness and life despite the exhaustion I was certain she felt._ _ _ _

____“Now, do not get up until I come back later.” Mahala Lee warned me. She placed my son into my arms with a warm smile._ _ _ _

____“Thank you,” I said._ _ _ _

____“Your mother would have been proud of you Rebecca, and so am I.” She told me. I nodded my head as a tear slid down my cheek._ _ _ _

____“Do you want me to get Tommy now?” Margo asked as they prepared to take their leave._ _ _ _

____“Yes. I’m surprised he hasn’t let himself in yet.” I said with a chuckle. I wiped my face of tears and focused on the beautiful baby in my arms. I remained lost in his perfection until Tommy opened the door. I looked up with a tired smile. Tommy closed the door and then stopped. His eyes trained on our son. He was silent as he approached the bed. “It’s a boy Tommy. We have a son.” I told him. A smile spread across his face as he moved to sit beside me in bed. His bright blue eyes quietly examined the bundle in my arms. “Do you want to hold him?” I asked._ _ _ _

____“Yes,” He replied. I carefully placed the baby in his arms. Tommy settled back and adjusted the baby in his arms. I couldn’t help but think that he looked more of a natural than I did. Perhaps he’d helped with Ada and Finn more than he was willing to admit._ _ _ _

____“He needs a name Tommy.” I said after a long silence. For the first time since entering the room, Tommy looked directly at me. His bright blue eyes locked with mine, and his lips curled up into a smile._ _ _ _

____“James. James Michael Shelby.” Tommy said as he turned back to his son. He looked truly content – peaceful – perhaps for the first since I’d met him. The shine in his blue eyes made it seem as though France or Sabini or Kimber had never happened._ _ _ _

____“James Michael Shelby.” I repeated. Tommy leaned in, and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead._ _ _ _

____“Thank you.” He whispered, his breath hot against my skin._ _ _ _

____“I love you.” I replied as I leaned my head against his._ _ _ _

____“I love you.” He confirmed. The warmth of his lips ghosting over my skin once again._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, this baby has been a long time coming! Who else is glad it’s finally happened?!
> 
> A side notes on this chapter, Rebecca experienced what is referred to as a precipitous birth. In order for a birth to be considered precipitous, the baby must be born in 3 hours or less from the onset of labor. This type of birth is very sudden and intense. However, this is far from the norm, with most births taking hours. I would say that the dancing is what did Rebecca in, but it was also just a sweet moment I got to write for her and Tommy. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I can’t believe there is only two chapters left! I have already written the final chapter, and will begin work on the epilogue soon. As always, I can’t wait to share them with you all!


	34. The Return of 1921

The Return of 1921  
June 1921 

“Thank the Lord, he’s asleep.” I whispered as I sat down beside Tommy on the steps of the caravan. He wrapped his arm around my waist and continued quietly smoking his cigarette. 

“Loud that one, ain’t he?” Tommy muttered as he exhaled. 

“Yeah, he is.” I chuckled softly. I nestled my head into his shoulder and let out an exhausted sigh. After listening to James cry all day, it was a relief to be surrounded by silence. The entire camp was asleep in their beds, and the valley was enveloped in a cloak of silence. Up above the night sky appeared to stretch out to the ends of the earth. The stars peeked out from behind the clouds as they rolled gently by. “Part of me doesn’t want to go back.” I admitted. Tommy brought the cigarette back to his lips while he pondered my words. 

“Rebecca,” Tommy cautioned. 

“No, Tommy, please just listen to me.” I begged. I sat up straight, which turned his head toward mine. The way his bright blue eyes shown even in the darkness of night still made my heart flutter. “In the past two months you’ve scarcely had a single nightmare. You slept through the night until James was born. Lord knows that boy has the lungs to keep the both of us up at night. I guess what I’m trying to say Tommy, is that you seem so peaceful out here. I don’t want to see that disappear overnight.” I said. 

“I can’t help who I am, Rebecca. It’s in my Gypsy blood.” He replied coolly as he turned to look out at the valley. He brought the cigarette back to his lips and inhaled deeply. Reformation – it was the one thing Tommy and I strongly disagreed on. Tommy believed he could never be redeemed. I, on the other hand, firmly believed there was goodness in him. No matter how deep down it was hidden.

“Tommy.” I said firmly as I stood. He kept his eyes trained on the dark abyss in front of him, refusing to look at me. I released a sigh of frustration. It was clear, if I was to succeed then I would need to take matters into my own hands. Before he had the opportunity to flee the conversation; I settled into his lap. A questioning expression spread across his face as I adjusted myself. Obviously, my actions came as a great surprise to him. A fact that his face failed to disguise. I held his face in my hands; my right thumb gently sliding back and forth against the small scar on his left cheek. “Thomas Shelby, I love you. I love you and I love our son. I solemnly promise to do everything in my power to keep this family safe. I will stand by you and be faithful to you. God willing, I will give you all the children your heart could ever long for.” I told him as a smile spread across my face. He opened his mouth and I pressed my finger firmly to his parted lips. “I believe that you are a good man, Thomas. I don’t care if you can’t or won’t see that within yourself. I will believe it for the both of us if I have to. God knows you’ve not had it easy, and I could never blame you for the things you have done over the years just to survive. All I want is for you to have some happiness. So whatever role I play in that happiness, I will do it Thomas.” I said. His blue eyes flickered back and forth as he examined my face. After a long silence he brought his hand to my face. I felt his fingertips barely ghost over the spot where my scar had faded many months ago. Gone was the bruised and timid girl he rescued long ago. In her place there was a woman. A fiercely determined woman who had emerged from the fires of hell stronger, but still uniquely good. 

“Rebecca Shelby, I love you.” He replied quietly. He softly smoothed back the stray hairs that veiled my face, his steady gaze once again piercing straight into my soul. His fingers snaked through my wavy locks before settling on the nape of my neck. He brought me down to meet his parted lips. I didn’t protest him. My body instantly melting into his comfortable and familiar warmth as he leaned back against the steps. I had said my peace, and he had heard me out, there was little else to do. My mind drifted further away from our conversation as his hand traveled down and grasped at my ass. “What do you say we pawn James off on Margo and go find some trouble to get into? Like old times.” Tommy proposed as he pulled away enough to examine my face. His blue eyes were alive with a rare glimmer of youthful mischief. The movements of his hands and the growing fire in his eyes made it perfectly clear exactly what kind of ‘trouble’ Tommy had on his mind. 

“No! Thomas Michael Shelby, you can beg me all you want but I’ll not let you between my legs. Not for at least another week.” I scolded him. Tommy leaned back on his elbows as a wickedly handsome smirk spread across his face.

“I’m already there love.” He replied arrogantly. His eyes flickering back down to where I had strategically placed myself. _Fuck, he was right. _I quickly stood to my feet and swatted at his chest before retreating to the grass. “What happened to all the children I could want, eh! It’s been four weeks. Come on Rebecca!” He called after me before he clamored to his feet. I took off running with Tommy hot on my heels. As I rounded the caravan, I missed the fact that Tommy had switched directions and went around the other way. He caught me around the waist; a shriek escaping my lips at the excitement of it all. He swung me around, which brought girlish laughter to my lips. His strong arms were wrapped tight enough to keep me from falling, but not so much that it hurt. “Gotcha!” He yelled far too loudly given the hour of night. We laughed until both of us were weak in the knees. Once again, I relaxed into the warmth of his chest. His arms remaining firmly around my waist as he held me close.__

__“Thomas Shelby! You devil! Leave that girl alone!” Mahala Lee yelled in her native tongue from the doorway of her caravan. I had no clue what she said to Tommy, but the tone of her voice required little translation._ _

__“Sorry about the noise.” Tommy called as he gave her a friendly wave. I held my laughter in until Mahala Lee had returned to her home. Tommy tried his best to look displeased with me, but there was an undeniable glimmer of mischief that remained in his eyes._ _

__“I quite like her. She keeps you in line. Maybe we should take her home with us.” I joked as I made my way back toward our caravan. My suggestion stopped Tommy in his tracks._ _

__“No! Absolutely fucking not. I can barely manage to put up with Polly most days. The last thing I need is for Polly to have an ally.” Tommy replied quickly. The image of Tommy being reprimanded by an angry Polly and Mahala Lee at the same time brought laughter to my lips once again. “Before you get any more of those bright ideas, off to bed with you! Something tells me, tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Tommy said as he motion me up the stairs with a wave of his hand._ _

__“Oh yes! Your grand surprise! How could I forget?” I replied sarcastically._ _

__

__“Goodbye dear Rebecca.” Mahala Lee said as she kissed my cheek. “Never forget the strength within you. It is your birthright. Do not let anyone take it from you.” She whispered in my ear._ _

__“Thank you. Thank you for all you’ve done for us.” I said as I looked down at James. A wide and warm smile spread across the older woman’s face._ _

__“Bless you Shelby’s.” She said in her native tongue. Tommy gently squeezed my shoulder and a smile formed on my lips._ _

__“Time to go.” Tommy quietly reminded me. “Mahala Lee, thank you. If you should ever find yourself in need, you know where to reach me.” He said respectfully and tipped his cap. Mahala Lee simply nodded in return. I turned toward Margo, who was holding her own new baby. I rushed to hug her neck; knowing full well that I could never truly repay her for her kindness._ _

__“Thank you my dear, dear friend.” I said before I released her._ _

__“Don’t be a stranger.” Margo said as she flashed me a smile. I walked back to Tommy who was waiting with the horse. I fastened James to my chest, the same way that Margo had taught me, before Tommy helped me up into the saddle. Once I was positioned, Tommy put one foot in the stirrups and pulled himself up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and took the reins._ _

__“Ready to go home?” He whispered in my ear. I couldn’t see his face, but I swore there was a smirk on his lips._ _

__“Yes,” I replied happily._ _

__The ride took nearly double the time due to the need for more frequent stops. When we finally arrived back at Charlie’s yard, it was late in afternoon. Charlie and Curly had abandoned their work to greet us; no doubt because our screaming son alerted them of our impending arrival. Tommy pulled back on the reins, bringing the horse to a stop, before he passed the reins off to Curly. Tommy dismounted in a single graceful motion. I had always envied his comfort around horses. I had little experience with horses. In fact, my time with Lee’s had been my first chance to really get used to them. Whereas Tommy could ride bareback with his eyes closed. As he turned back, he extended his hands out for me to take. I leaned into him, placing the majority of my weight on him, and allowed him to ease me back to the ground. My stomach muscles had ached with every sway, which made for a long and painful journey home. James’s birth had more of a lasting effect than I had anticipated. I thought that it would easy to return to normal life, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Deep down, I knew that it would be a long time before I would feel like myself again. If that time ever came._ _

__“Welcome home Tom.” Charlie greeted._ _

__“Hello uncle.” Tommy replied as he worked to light his cigarette._ _

__“I never thought I’d see the day Tom. Look at you, you’re a father!” Charlie chuckled happily. The older man shook his head in sheer disbelief and delight. “And Rebecca… you look like a beautiful Gypsy woman. You could be a double to Esme.” Charlie commented as he took a step back to look me over. Although I couldn’t see it personally, my long skirt and my hair being pulled back in a messy braid must have been enough to convince Charlie._ _

__“Very small.” Curly interjected as he peered curiously down at James. His curiosity brought a smile to my lips._ _

__“Yes, indeed Curly. If you can imagine it, he was much smaller when he was born.” I told him as I loosened the wrap to allow Curly to have a proper look at the newest member of the Shelby family._ _

__“Be careful Curly.” Tommy warned. His voice was once again full of authority and limited emotion. My heart dropped. It had taken Tommy less than 5 minutes to return to his previous state._ _

__“Yes, very careful Tommy. Very careful.” Curly echoed._ _

__“I’ve got the car in the back.” Charlie said. Tommy nodded as he discarded his cigarette in the mud._ _

__“Good.” Tommy agreed. Without another word, Curly scurried off to fill the car with petrol._ _

__“So, when are you planning to show off the little one? Everyone has been sitting on pins waiting for the lot of you to come home.” Charlie reported._ _

__“Yes. One quick stop, then we will be off to see your surprise.” Tommy promised. I nodded my head in agreement, and then followed him to the car. Tommy gave his uncle a brief goodbye before he slid into the seat beside me._ _

__“Please tell me that your surprise isn’t a car ride.” I joked. Tommy turned his head, a dazzling smirk playing at his lips._ _

__“Oh, Rebecca.” He chuckled. “Let’s get out of here.” He said as the car roared to life. The familiar streets of Small Heath seemed to fly by. While we were away out day to day lives had slowed considerably. As we turned onto Watery Lane, I realized that our simple and slow lifestyle was dead and gone. The smoke, smog, and factory noise signaled the ending of our respite. I certainly hadn’t missed the smog or the noise that polluted the sky above. My realization stirred something deep inside of me. My heart began to pound so hard in my chest that it traveled up into my head. By the time we arrived at the betting shop, I was desperately excited to share our son with the family, but terribly afraid of what the future would hold. The Lee’s green valley had been my hiding place – my safe heaven. This was real life. And for anyone who bore the surname Shelby, life would always be dangerous. I took Tommy’s outstretched hand and stepped onto the sidewalk. Suddenly, James felt heavier in my arms. The weight of responsibility a heavy burden on my shoulders. The blinders who stood guard outside the shop tipped their caps as we entered. The noise inside somehow rivaled the noise outside. John was shouting odds across the chaotic floor. Esme was nowhere in sight, most likely because the children were at home. Polly stood in front of her desk. She was leaning heavily on the desk as she examined the open ledger. She must have felt Tommy’s intense gaze fall on her, because her brown eyes found us in an instant. Her previously focused expression melted into one of pure happiness._ _

__“Hello Pol.” Tommy greeted. Polly rounded the table and bypassed Tommy to hug me first._ _

__“Oh thank God.” Polly said as she squeezed me tight._ _

__“It’s good to be home Polly. I’m sorry it took me so long.” I whispered into her shoulder. As she pulled away, her eyes drifted to James. Her smile growing even wider. A couldn’t help but smile as I looked down at the sleeping baby boy in my arms._ _

__“I assume you want a family meeting?” Polly asked, turning her eyes to Tommy._ _

__“Yes.” He replied._ _

__“Right. Let’s go into the other room.” Polly suggested as she ushered me toward the kitchen. Her dark eyes snapping back to her nephew for only a second, as if to tell him they had much to discuss._ _

__“Tommy!” Arthur’s boisterous voice rumbled as he emerged from his office. His eyes lit up at the sight of his younger brother returned home. In all his excitement, Arthur brought his younger brother into an embrace._ _

__“Hello Arthur.” Tommy greeted his brother. “How was London?” Tommy inquired._ _

__“Fucking fantastic! You should see the girls I got dancing at some of the clubs these days. Tits as big as your head! You gotta come see it!” Arthur reported happily as he clapped Tommy on the back. Tommy laughed off Arthur’s highly descriptive invitation. “John! Close it down for the day. We got family business to attend to.” Arthur announced. John turned, a smile spreading across his face at the sight of Tommy._ _

__“You all heard the man! Close it down!” John called from his position by the chalk board. It took a few minutes to clear the room. John hurried across the way to collect Esme, while Arthur locked the shop door. Tommy pulled John and Arthur aside before they joined the meeting._ _

__“Do we still have a certain Irishman to deal with?” Tommy asked quietly. Arthur looked to John before turning to Tommy._ _

__“Yeah, the fucker is still rattling around down there. Polly wanted him dealt with before you got back, but I reminded her of your orders.” John reported._ _

__“Tommy, what exactly are you planning on doing with the bastard? It’s not easy to kill a copper and get away with it.” Arthur asked. Tommy rubbed his face with his hand._ _

__“We will deal with him, we just have to decide how.” Tommy replied firmly before he opened the door to the kitchen. John and Arthur took their seats at the nearly full table. With the exception of Ada, the entire family was represented. Tommy’s blue eyes drifted to mine, his hand motioning for me to join him at the head of the table. “As I’m sure you all have noticed, we have a new member joining us today.” Tommy said as he took James from my arms. “I would like to introduce you to my son… James Shelby.” Tommy announced proudly. He smiled happily as he showed off his son to the rest of the family. For a fleeting moment, my hope for happiness was renewed. The room erupted with celebration as everyone rose to their feet and swarmed around us. The commotion startled James; his blue eyes opened wide as he let out a loud cry. Tommy didn’t protest when I quickly took James from his arms and began to rock him. I was James’s mother, it was my job to console and protect him. Sensing my unease, Tommy’s blue eyes followed me to the back of the room. I whispered comforting words to my sweet boy as I began to sway from side to side. His father’s eyes never far from the pair of us. A silent reminder that I would never again be alone when it came to James or my own personal safety._ _

__“I think that we have waited long enough to wet this baby’s head. Finn, why don’t you run down to the Garrison and get us a couple bottles of the good whiskey.” Polly suggested as everyone moved back to their seats. A wide and eager smile spread across the thirteen year old’s face as he turned and ran off to collect the whiskey. Polly watched Finn close the door before turning her dark eyes back to Tommy. “Alright, we have ten minutes at the most before we can expect Finn back. Get on with it Thomas.” Polly demanded. Her voice firmly guarded and full with tension._ _

__“Right. We have a rather unsavory matter to discuss, and given the risks, I have decided to bring it to a vote.” Tommy announced. “As most of you already know, it was Major Chester Campbell who planned to have me killed by some Ulster men after I did his dirty work for him at Epsom. He is also guilty of threatening my wife on numerous occasions. He did this to ensure I would follow his orders without question. He has even taken advantage of a mother’s love for her son.” Tommy said, his eyes drifting momentarily to Polly. “Now he has to die. The question is how and who?” Tommy announced._ _

__“I will do it, Tommy. We can cut him piece by piece. The police would never be able to trace a thing.” Arthur suggested._ _

__“It’s too big of a job for you to do on your own.” Tommy shook his head. “We’ll do it together.” Tommy said solemnly._ _

__“Then we do it the three of us, together.” John agreed._ _

__“I don’t give a fuck who does it! How do you intend to do it without being caught? I’m sure the bastard has made sure that any harm done to him is eventually traced back to this family!” Polly interjected._ _

__“Me.” I said quietly as I stroked James’s cheek lightly with my finger. The chairs creaking loudly as everyone shifted to look at me._ _

__“The fuck did you just say?” Tommy snapped as he leaned forward on the table. His disapproving, cold blue gaze pierced straight into my soul; making the blood in my veins run cold._ _

__“Rebecca, dear, honestly?” Polly said as she turned in her seat. Her voice a mixture of amusement and disapproval now._ _

__“It should be me that does it.” I repeated, my voice slightly stronger this time. I saw Tommy open his mouth to argue. “Just listen to me. Alright?” I begged. Tommy pursed his lips into a thin line; his displeasure was palpable and had put everyone else on edge. “John, how long have you had him?” I asked quickly._ _

__“Two weeks. Give or take some.” John spoke up from his seat._ _

__“It’s been two weeks, so they’ll have noticed he’s missing and begun the inquiry. Well, I don’t know where the lot of you were two weeks ago, but I was walking around in a field with my newborn son. And that’s exactly what I’ll tell them if they should ever trace it back to me. Besides, the whole city knows that Tommy and I have been away for quite a long time. I’m certain the police will still attempt to pin it on Tommy somehow, but they would never suspect me. Esme, if they question John, you tell them that he was with you. You can say he was at home fucking you all night long. We can come up with a story for all of you. They would expect bloody torture from anyone with the name Shelby, but not from a young mother. What did you say when we first met, Tommy? I had a virgin bride look to me.” I said. By the time I finished, Tommy’s eyes had burned a hole through my chest. My proposal obviously had not set well with him._ _

__“You might look it sister, but I think we all know you were not a virgin bride.” Arthur interjected. John chuckled loudly before biting his knuckles to suppress further outbursts. Tommy glared at his brothers as he desperately attempted to keep his colorful rebuke at bay._ _

__“Arthur!” Polly scolded before turning toward me. “That is a very logical plan, but Rebecca, how do you expect to kill a grown man? Your pale with weakness, love.” Polly inquired._ _

__“Enough! You will not do it, Rebecca! It will be Arthur, John and myself that does it. Come on. Let’s get on with it.” Tommy said as he motioned for John and Arthur to follow him._ _

__“Thomas Shelby, don’t you walk away from me!” I yelled. My words were filled with such authority that it surprised everyone, even myself. Arthur and John returned to their seats, both looking like terrified school boys. Tommy slammed the door and returned to his position at the head of the table. His disapproving gaze once again landing sharply on me. I took in a shaky breath, hoping to level my voice, so as to not be perceived like an irrational woman. “Please, Tommy! I need to do this. I need to look that bastard in the eyes and tell him that it was us who won. I won’t soon forget that it was him and all his fucking toy soldiers that nearly cost us everything! I can do it, you just have to trust me.” I said. Tommy glared at me for another minute before he broke. He hung his head and exhaled loudly._ _

__“Oh fuck. Alright. Fine.” Tommy reluctantly agreed. “On one condition, the three of us go with you. The first sign of trouble and you are done.” Tommy told me firmly._ _

__“All those in agreement?” Polly asked. Everyone hesitantly gave their approval; most likely only because Tommy had already agreed. “Then it’s decided.” Polly said. I nodded my head just as Finn burst through the door with a large bottle of whiskey in each hand._ _

__“Good work Finn.” Polly said as she rose from her seat to collect the glasses. Arthur swiftly filled the glasses, while John passed them around. “Alright, everyone raise a glass.” Polly said._ _

__“Wait just a minute Pol. This baby may have Gypsy blood, but he also has Irish blood. Arthur, do you have a sixpence on you?” I asked. Arthur hastily dug through his pockets and quickly producing a sixpence coin. I motioned for Tommy to join me, which he reluctantly did. I heard him sigh loudly once again as he placed a hand on my shoulder. I tucked the coin into James’s hand with a proud smile. “May you want for nothing James Shelby.” I said, as I kissed his head._ _

__“Here, here!” Arthur cheered as everyone raised their glasses and drank to their content. Tommy pressed a kiss to the top of my hair before he slipped out into the deserted shop. I passed James off to Polly before quickly moving to follow Tommy. I found him pacing the length of the shop floor as he smoked a cigarette._ _

__“I know you don’t want me to do it.” I said. His eyes snapped up to meet mine. A bitter laugh escaping his lips._ _

__“No, not that my opinion matters.” Tommy snapped. “Do you have any idea how it makes me look when you overrule me?” Tommy asked, his anger fading to frustration. I sighed as I approached him._ _

__“You are Thomas Shelby, no one would question that you are capable of ending Chester Campbell’s miserable existence. If anything, this makes you look all the stronger. You don’t need to kill himself to be the winner.” I said. He brought me into his arms and held me to his chest._ _

__“I just don’t like the idea of you doing it.” He admitted as his voice leveled out._ _

__“I know. Will it change the way you look at me?” I asked quietly._ _

__“Yes. But it will only make me love you more.” He said._ _

__“So it’s settled then?” I asked as I pulled away to examine his face._ _

__“Yes. Then tomorrow I will take you to see your surprise.” He promised as he ran his finger slowly across my face. His blue eyes slowly closed as he leaned his forehead against mine. “Between your strong will and sharp wit, you will be the death of me Rebecca Shelby.” He whispered._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for making you wait so long for this chapter. This was going to be a GIANT chapter, and I spent a long time debating whether or not to split it up. Finally, I decided to split it up so now I am sharing the first part with you. That being said, there will be one more action packed, nail biting chapter before the epilogue.


	35. Do You Wanna Know?

Do You Wanna Know?

The day quickly transitioned to night the streets of Small Heath fading quickly into the darkness. The factory smoke polluted the sky and robbed us of the moonlight. As we stepped into the night, I had to wonder how a bustling city could be darker than the valley? Perhaps it was an omen of what was about to pass. Tommy, John, Arthur, and I stepped out the back door and proceeded down the stone path to the underground cellar. When we took the stairs down it felt as though we were descending straight into hell. John closed the cellar doors and closed us off from the world above. I stilled in the walkway and waited for my eyes to adjust to the blackness that was threatening to swallow me whole. I held my hand out in front of me, but could not see it even when I brought it up to my face. Before my eyes could fully adjust Tommy deftly struck a match and lit his lamp. Perhaps his time as a tunneler had given him the unique ability to see in the dark. In the candlelight I realized that the sod ceiling was so low that all three men had to crouch slightly. I had to wonder how John managed to get Campbell down here in the first place… Or why this place existed at all?

“You sure you want to go through with this?” Tommy asked one last time. I nodded my head, and waited until he had turned back around to release a shaky breath. We proceeded, the warm light from Tommy’s lamp illuminated the dank makeshift cell. Campbell was tied to the chair in the center of the room. His head was hung either out of exhaustion or lack of will. For a moment, I had to wonder if he was already dead. I looked back as my nerves swelled. Tommy nodded me on as he struck a match to light his cigarette. Then he proceeded to roll up his sleeves, no doubt hoping that he would have the chance to get his own hands on Campbell. But his emotions remained carefully guarded, his face like a mask. Arthur twitched with rage, while John took an authoritative stance and glared at Campbell. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to run. Every horrifying memory seemed to add fuel to the fire that burned inside of me. I balled my fists as my anger turned to pure rage. My fingernails broke through my delicate palms and blood pooled in my hands as I marched toward him. 

“Wake up you sick bastard!” I shouted as I kicked the chair Campbell was tied to. He startled, which caused the chair to rock and nearly tip backwards. The bruises and cuts to his face and body made it clear that he had not given up fighting yet. Despite the fact he looked gray and weak, his eyes somehow maintained their terrifying darkness. 

“Well if it isn’t Mrs. Shelby.” He chuckled, his lips curling into a sickening smirk. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? It’s not every day that I can enjoy the company of a beautiful young thing such as yourself.” He taunted me as he looked me up and down. He enjoyed a long look at me before he leaned to the side and glared at the three men behind me. I smacked him across the face and glared sharply at him. 

“You’d be wise to remember that it is you, Inspector, who is strapped to a chair. I may be a woman, but I have the power in this situation. The only reason you are even still breathing is because I said so.” I spat as I bent slightly so that I could stare directly into his dark eyes. Campbell remained silent for a few moments as he contemplated my words. 

“I love when you women get all riled up. Nothing like a bitch in heat.” He said, venom dripping from every word. In a single motion I stood up straight and kicked his chair over. He howled as his head smacking against the floor and his own body weight crushed his arms. I turned and made my way over to Tommy with an outstretched hand. 

“I need your gun.” I demanded. His blue eyes filled with skepticism as he pulled his gun from the holster. 

“You sure you want to give the bastard such a quick death?” Tommy asked. I shook my head no as I examined the chambers. I was thankful this would be done at close range; it had been so long since I had actually fired a gun. I would definitely need some target practice to get my skills back. 

“The last thing I intend to do is give him a quick death.” I assured him. I tucked the gun into the back of my skirt as I returned to where Campbell lay writhing against his restraints. “Now… I know you’re fucking daft when it comes to women so I will warn you against calling me a bitch ever again.” I told him. He stilled and looked up at me. 

“What would you prefer – Gypsy whore or traitor?” Campbell asked. 

“I am none of those things!” I shouted. 

“You turned your back on your own kind and allowed this Gypsy scum to pollute your eternal soul! You are the worst of the Irish kind. A deserter and traitor.” Campbell spat with disgust. 

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me!” I snapped. Campbell chuckled with delight. I had forgotten how much he enjoyed sharp words and mind games, especially with a woman.

“I know more than you think Rebecca O’Neill. Yes… I know your real name.” I could hear my pulse in my ear. My breathing grew ragged as I backed away from him. I heard scuffling behind me. Little did I know that it was Arthur and John attempting to hold Tommy back. Arthur’s muffled words were desperately calm in an attempt to contain his younger brother. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Polly’s words from long ago came to the forefront of my mind. You need more than just instincts to survive in this family. You have to be smart, especially under pressure. I opened my eyes and marched back to Campbell. 

“What do you know?” I growled as I pulled the gun from my belt. I pointed the gun in the center of his chest, which brought another sickening smile to his lips. I shifted my aim and squeezed the trigger. He cried out in pain as the bullet shattered his knee. “Tell me what you know or you will have two bad legs!” I warned him as a pool of bright red bloomed on his pantleg. He chuckled either out of amusement, pain, or shock. 

“Your name is on the church register at Immaculate Heart of Mary in Dublin. You were born to Mary and Jonathan O’Neill. Your given Christian name is Mary Rebecca Elizabeth O’Neill, contrary to what you told me when I investigated you last year.” Campbell informed me. 

“Seems that you have done a better job of investigating, now doesn’t it?” I snapped. He chuckled. 

“I know that you have killed members of the IRA. Although, I have to wonder why, with you being a girl from the south.” I felt my heart stop beating in my chest as Campbell’s words registered. “I suppose all of you are savages. You would have to be to kill your brothers and sisters. For what? A vain quest for independence.” He mocked. My eyes went dark. Campbell knowing my true identity and accusing me of murder were two completely different things. The later, I was sorely unprepared for. 

“Fucking Proddy!” I spat in an attempt to recover. 

“Enough! Kill him now or I will!” Tommy shouted. Campbell laughed at Tommy’s outburst. It was obvious that he hoped to get a rise out of the both of us. 

“And what makes you so sure of this, huh?” I asked him boldly. I had no choice but to keep my composure. If I took his bait every time, then I would never figure out all that he knew about me. 

“Why don’t you ask your husband who Irene O’Donnell is?” Campbell said. I turned to find Tommy looking disheveled from struggling with Arthur, and fiercely angry. It was undeniable, the way burning frustration and anger brimmed in his piercing blue eyes. He never answered, and in the current situation the answer really didn’t matter. “Isn’t it funny how husbands always keep secrets from their wives? Mistresses, dirty business deals, murder; all of which I am sure apply to you Mr. Shelby.” Campbell chirped. I turned back and shot him in the other leg. This time slightly lower, in the shin. Another shrill cry of pain filled the room as the bullet lodged into the wooden chair. 

“Listen you sick bastard!” I shouted as I placed my boot firmly on his shoulder. I leaned in, which brought another cry from his lips. “I am going to kill you before this night turns to morning. And make no mistake, it will not be swift or merciful! If you answer my questions then maybe I will put you out of your misery rather than turn you over to the lot behind me.” I explained. Before he could reply, I knelt down beside him so that I could lower my voice. “If they had their way, they would hack you to pieces. In fact, that is the only reason they’re here. They would love it if you would give them the opportunity.” I explained. I straightened and called for John. 

“Yeah, what is it?” John asked as he stood behind my left shoulder. I turned to prevent Campbell from hearing out conversation, but more than anything I needed to see Tommy again. Instantly, his eyes connected with mine. Pain had etched lines into his otherwise flawless face, while fear and sadness filled his eyes. It had to be torture for him to watch, and for a fleeting moment I considered stopping. 

“Sit him up again, and then I need you to do what I say. Just because I can’t manage to carry out some of the more physical aspects doesn’t mean he deserves them any less. Can you do that for me?” I asked quietly. 

“You sure you don’t want Tommy?” John asked. I shook my head at his proposal.

“No. He’ll just end up killing him. I need to figure out what he knows… and what that means for all of us.” I replied quietly. John simply nodded, and moved to sit Campbell upright again. 

“Quit your whinging!” Arthur bellowed from behind me. Nevertheless, Campbell continued to howl like a wounded animal. Blood was flowing steadily from both of his legs, and his left shoulder appeared to be out of the socket from where I stepped on it. There was no doubt he was in pain. I just hoped that I hadn’t crossed the line where he would no longer be able to give me useful information. 

“Now, I am going to ask you a question and you are going to answer.” I told him. “Tell me what proof the police have of my involvement with the IRA.” He chuckled at my demand. 

“Or what? You’ll kill me? Then what Mrs. Shelby?” His dark eyes and sick smile mocked me. I pulled the small knife from my boot and flicked it open with a single swift movement. The ability to disguise the small knife was one of the only advantages of wearing such old worn boots. I pressed the blade firmly to his skin; just enough to break the skin, before I slid it quickly across his chest. The pain brought forth another pitiful howl. 

“Answer the question Inspector. I don’t have all night.” I told him frankly. 

“I have enough to hang you.” He admitted quickly, as he tried to further compose himself. 

“You’ve said that too many times about my husband. And look at him. Look at him!” I demanded as I gripped his face and forced him to look at Tommy. “He is very much alive. So how does it feel to lose? Probably not even half as good as it feels to win.” I said with a demeaning smack to his cheek. “Now I want you to tell me exactly what proof you have?” I demanded. His continued silence quickly earned him another deep gash. He failed to suppress his cries as I slid the blade across his torso. 

“Fuck! Bitch!” He cried out in a gratifying mixture of pain and misery. 

“Answer me! Now!” I shouted. 

“I listed you as an agitator and murderer. I have a written witness statement that puts you as the last person to see both Mae Finney and Malacki Byrne alive. Given your rather confusing political stance, I decided you killed them in a power struggle. Congratulations, you won, considering their both dead now.” Campbell explained as struggled through the pain. 

“I’m not IRA you fucking moron!” I fired back at him. 

“But that doesn’t matter now does it? Your lack of beliefs made it rather easy to create them for you. You are a Catholic from Dublin, no one would question my story. Besides, you have no proof otherwise.” Campbell explained. 

“You are a snake! No better than the devil himself. Slithering about in the dark of night.” I spat with disgust before I plunged the knife into his leg. 

“Rebecca, you better get on with it. At the rate you’re going he is going to bleed to death, and quick.” John warned me. I simply nodded my head and kept on. 

“You know, I expected this treatment from them, but not from you. Not from such a beautiful little girl.” Campbell said as his strength and sanity continued to waver. 

“You like little girls because they are timid and easy to subdue. You’ve never been enough of a man for a real woman.” I spat. I knew all about his improper acts and sick preferences. Polly ensured to tell me as much. “Seeing as you are going to be dead rather soon, I will tell you exactly why I hate being called a little girl.” I said as I tucked the gun back into my belt. “When I was sixteen my father died, the next year the war, then without warning we started fighting each other in the streets for reasons I couldn’t understand. I hate what happened to my home! I hate the way it turned friends into enemies. It stole my childhood and my freedom! You see Inspector, one man refused to see me as little more than a girl that needed to be subdued. He is the reason I ended up here. Despite what is in your files, I did not kill Malacki Byrne. But there is not a day that passes when I don’t wish I could have! He took my mother from me. Now I can only see her in my dreams. Although I will always harbor ill will toward them, my vendetta ended with Aedan and Malacki. Mae was just circumstance.” I explained. The regret rose up within me as soon as I looked up at John’s face. He had never been good at keeping the pain out of his pale eyes. I didn’t dare to look at Tommy or Arthur. No doubt all three would not approve of my confession. 

“Since I am a dying man, I want to tell you something Mrs. Shelby.” Campbell said as he continued to fade. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. My face twisted with confusion at his words. Surely, a man as evil as Chester Campbell was not about to use his final breaths to repent. “I’m sorry I didn’t kill you myself. I am ashamed that my men refused to kill a woman.” He chuckled briefly, his mind and breath fading rapidly. “I handed you over to those Italians because they were the only ones with no moral objections to killing a pregnant woman.” He whispered. I firmly grasped the blade and pulled it from his leg. The blade quickly disappearing into his chest. His eyes bulged and he struggled to take in the next breath. I pulled the gun from my belt and John; sensing my next movement, jumped out of the firing line. I aimed the gun at his head and fired. No hesitation or regrets. A stream of blood slowly flowed down his face as he bowed his head and went limp. I took in a few shaky deep breaths, the gun still pointed at the now dead man sat in front of me. I wiped the sweat from my forehead before I tucked the gun into my belt. 

“Rebecca…” I heard Tommy behind me. He reached out his hand and dropped his guard, the sadness overtaking his usually authoritative tone. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry as the emotions flooded in. 

“What will you do with him? I asked quietly. 

“We will burn him, and then put the ashes somewhere no one will ever find them.” John assured me. I nodded my head and sucked in a raged breath before I dared to face them. 

“We’ll see to it sister.” Arthur promised as he stepped forward. 

“Come along. I think you’ve more than earned yourself a drink.” Tommy said. I allowed him to lead me back through the darkness. A gust of wind hit us as we emerged to the surface. Perhaps rain was coming in. That was just what this night needed. A cleansing rain to wash all the filth away forever. Another wind whipped through the garden; and I reached up to contain my increasingly disheveled hair. Despite the air being thick with the smell of sulfur; having the wind in my face was a welcomed feeling. 

“Can I have a cigarette?” I asked. Tommy closed the cellar doors before passing me a cigarette from his case. He cupped his hands around the flame and helped me to light it. I don’t know how I would have managed to do it myself. My hands continued to shake like leaves in a hurricane. I inhaled deeply and ended up coughing terribly with the first few puffs, but my lungs quickly adjusted to the sensation of the smoke. I turned my eyes up to the sky; wishing more than anything I could see the stars. To escape to the valley, even if it was just in my mind. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. Tommy reached out and gently put his hand on my shoulder. It was as if he feared what I would do if he startled me. Did the way I conducted myself in the cellar make me seem unstable? Maybe I was mental or hormonal. I suppose I had to be to some form of ill to have volunteered for such a grotesque task. “I’ll be alright.” I said, more to convince myself than Tommy. He wrapped one arm around my waist as the other snaked across my chest. His embrace full of warmth and reassurance. I brought the cigarette back to my lips; hoping the nicotine would stop the shaking in my hand. 

“My hands shake too, sometimes they still do. When they dropped us in France my hands fucking shook for days.” Tommy whispered against my hair. I nodded and accepted his words, although they brought me little solace. 

“I said too much, didn’t I? I let him get to me.” I said. 

“No. No, you didn’t. And it doesn’t matter now anyways.” Tommy reassured me. 

“I saw the way they looked at me, John and Arthur. I don’t want them to look at me any different.” I whispered. Tommy sighed.

“Rebecca, you just killed a man. A police officer, and not in self-defense. You volunteered for some fucking reason that I can’t understand. So they will look at you and treat you differently. But at least now they will know what I have all along.” Tommy said as he turned me to face him. He brought his hands up to cup my face gently. “You have a strength within you that is nothing short of incredible. You never let yourself get beat. You fight for what you think is right. Even if it makes me fucking mad in the head. Life dealt you the short stick and you turned it around and beat the shit out of it.” Tommy chuckled. I couldn’t help but crack a small smile at the lunacy of that image. 

“Is that what you really think of me Tommy?” I asked. 

“Yes. And I couldn’t love you more.” Tommy promised. I closed my eyes and leaned in to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. “What about that drink?” He asked. 

“Alright.” I agreed. Tommy sent me off to bed with the promise of a hot bath and whiskey. In his search for more whiskey, Tommy stumbled across Polly in the front room. She was whispering in Romani to James as she rocked him softly from side to side. 

“Pol.” Tommy said as he leaned on the doorframe. Polly turned with a wide smile, but the sight of her nephew caused her soft smile to fade as her jaw tightened. 

“Thomas.” Polly replied, her dark eyes burning with displeasure. “Is it done?” She snapped. 

“Yes. John and Arthur will take care of the body. I’ve sent Rebecca up to bed.” Tommy replied. 

“And how did she do?” Polly asked. Based on her tone and cold hard glare, Tommy knew that she really didn’t want to know. She was just lashing out at Tommy for allowing things to get out of hand.

“She did fine. A little talkative for my taste.” Tommy reported. His strange words caused Polly to raise an eyebrow.

“What does that mean, Thomas?” Polly pressed.

“She kept her head on for the most part. Good thing she did too.” Tommy said as he pulled out another cigarette. Polly rolled her eyes as he paused to light his cigarette. “Campbell has… well had, a file on her. I’ll have to go tomorrow to figure out if it really exists.” Tommy said. 

“Why? What’s supposedly in this file?” Polly asked quickly. 

“I don’t know. A parting gift, I suppose.” Tommy paused for another inhale. His mind still ablaze with questions and uncertainty. “Has she ever mentioned that her first name is Mary?” Tommy asked. 

“No… she never to me.” Polly replied as her expression shifted to one of utter disappointment. 

“Yeah, apparently her given name is Mary Rebecca Elizabeth O’Neill, not Rebecca Elizabeth.” Tommy said as he shook his head. Polly nodded her head as she tried to absorb the information without looking too caught off guard. “I will get to the bottom of it Pol. She’s my wife and James’s mother, no matter what her name is. I just need some time to sort through what’s true and what’s not.” Tommy assured his aunt. 

“Let her take a warm bath and drink a glass of whiskey before you ask her anything. I’ll see to James.” Polly offered. Tommy nodded. He scooped the whiskey bottle off the table before he made his way up the stairs to the room at the end of the hall. He stopped in the doorway at the sight of me in front of the fire. Not a stitch of clothing remained on my body as I stared intently at the blaze. The flames lapped at the worn out skirt, blouse, and undergarments. In haste, I failed to consider my reservations about Tommy seeing me naked. Mahala Lee’s rules had kept Tommy and I apart, and in all honesty, I felt horribly unprepared for such a moment. I looked sideways at him and waited anxiously for his reaction. His eyes traveled down my frame; beginning with my face and ending the curve of my legs. His full lips parted but no words ever emerge. After another long look, he swung the door shut and waltzed across the floor to meet me. His piercing blue eyes captured me in an intense gaze. We remained unmoved from in front of the roaring flames; our bodies barely a breath away from one another. The moment seemed to stretch on for eternity. It was in that sacred moment that we both made a decision. One made in fear and in love. 

“Mary?” 

“Thomas…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you all have enjoyed this final chapter, and the journey thus far. I look forward to sharing the epilogue, and the next story in the series with you all very soon! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments.


	36. Epilogue

Epilogue  
June 1921

It was well past midnight when Tommy departed from the Garrison. This time of night belonged to drunks and prostitutes. It was the perfect time of night to conduct such unsavory business. The tip of his cigarette burned bright orange as he inhaled deeply and welcomed the swell of nicotine into his lungs. Tommy turned into the tunnel leading to the canal, and instantly spotted his target amidst the smog. The man’s back was turned as he stared off into the murky water before him. The sound of Tommy’s boots reverberating off the tunnel prompted the other man to turn. 

“Moss.” Tommy greeted him gruffly and discarded his spent cigarette. 

“Mr. Shelby.” Moss replied respectfully. Despite being bankrolled by the Peaky Blinders, Moss lacked the general confidence and swagger of Tommy’s other men. His position was rather complicated. Without a doubt, Moss stood to lose the most out of all the men on Tommy’s payroll.

“Have you made progress on your mission?” Tommy inquired. Despite his usually confident and controlled demeanor, in his current emotional state, Tommy could not stop grinding his back teeth. Forget how high the stakes were for Moss! Tommy was the one who stood to lose it all. A reality that angered Tommy more than anything else in life. 

“Yes.” Moss reported. Tommy visibly tensed as Moss reached under his jacket. Much to Tommy’s surprise, Moss had succeeded rather quickly. Moss held out the large file folder for Tommy to take. “It took a considerable amount of effort to procure. Mr. Shelby, if anyone ever notices it’s gone, I will lose my job. It will be up to dumb luck, whether or not someone ever comes looking for it.” Moss said. Tommy nodded and quickly accepted the thick file. _Fuck. _There was a lot more to Campbell’s file than he could have ever imagined.__

__“Have you looked inside this file, Moss?” Tommy asked, his voice thick with tension. Tommy’s heart raced as his mind began to consider the damning evidence he now possessed. Based on the size and weight of it, there was more than enough to hang whatever her fucking name was Tommy thought bitterly._ _

__“No.” Moss replied. Moss took a cautious step back as Tommy’s anger spread across his face. “Mr. Shelby-”_ _

__“What are you still doing standing here?” Tommy snapped. His dark eyes struck fear straight into Moss’s soul. The frightened man turned and made a hasty departure. Tommy scanned his surroundings. He needed to be alone now more than ever. This file had the potential to destroy his life, and the last thing he needed was an audience. He tucked the file under his arm while he lit a cigarette. He would have preferred a cigarette and a strong drink. Unfortunately, the later of the two was not a current option. After a few deep breaths full of nicotine, Tommy opened the file and sighed._ _

__

__The next few days were filled with an uncomfortable amount of tension that bubbled just beneath the surface. Tommy managed to keep his questions at bay the night it happened, and in the days that followed. We both were desperate to ask the questions that pulled heavily on our hearts, but fear kept us paralyzed in silence. Neither one of us was willing to be the first to speak up. In the silence Tommy drifted away. His mind never stopped moving. All day long, he sat in silence and smoked. His eyes always trained on something that was far off in the distance. After a few days he decided it was finally time to move on. I honestly had forgotten all about his surprise. Given our current state of disarray, I would have settled for a casual conversation or one heartfelt smile. Unfortunately, neither of my wishes would come true that day. Tommy drove us out of Small Heath and back into the countryside. It felt a little as if we had returned only to leave again._ _

__“Tommy, where on earth are we headed off to?” I questioned after a while._ _

__“Patience.” Tommy told me without taking his eyes from the road. “We will be there before you know it.” He reassured me. His tone softening slightly, but not much._ _

__“Is that so?” I asked, in an attempt to lift the gloomy clouds that seemed to follow Tommy wherever he went._ _

__“You and your questions. Never could help yourself, could ya?” He replied, his tone coming out harsher than he intended it. There was a loud crunching noise as the tires hit the gravel drive. My eyes widened as I took in the large stone structure that loomed at the top of the long drive. I leaned forward and tried to take in more of the ginormous structure before we were too close for me to see it all. When he stopped the car, I shifted my eyes away from the formidable structure and focused on Tommy._ _

__“Thomas…” I failed to formulate a suitable response before he got out of the car and came around to my side. He led me up to the front door, my head still in a daze. The door opened to reveal an older woman in a simple black dress. Her expression was not necessarily unkind, but it was a far cry from friendly._ _

__“Mr. Shelby, welcome home.” She greeted us politely. She stepped aside and motioned for us to enter. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open at her words. Tommy glanced in my direction briefly before stepping inside. Despite my great surprise, I followed Tommy into the grand entryway. “It is good to have you at home, Mr. Shelby. My name is Mary.” She introduced herself. Tommy stiffened and my mouth went dry after that. Her polite introduction made me realize that I had failed to formulate a single intelligent sentence since the car ride. I must have looked dumb and frightened; and in this grand house, I wasn’t entirely sure which one was worse. “Are you alright Mrs. Shelby?” Mary asked, noticing my stunned expression._ _

__“You’ll have to forgive her. I’m afraid I kept this place a secret. A surprise for my wife.” Tommy explained. His words came out sounding rather tight, almost as if it pained him. Mary nodded her head respectfully, but her face still contained a hint of concern._ _

__“Mrs. Shelby, I could bring the baby to the nursery. Perhaps you should lay down for a while.” She suggested._ _

__“Rebecca,” Tommy said. His words finally brought the world back into focus. I shook my head and attempted to compose myself as quickly as possible. “Why don’t you let Mary bring James upstairs.” Tommy suggested._ _

__“You’re sure it won’t be any trouble? He tends to fuss when he is with someone unfamiliar.” I hesitated._ _

__“It is no trouble, Mrs. Shelby. I am certain that you will find nurse Edwards more than satisfactory.” Mary assured me. I looked over at Tommy, who nodded me on. I passed James over, reluctantly so, to a perfect stranger. Without Tommy’s encouragement, I certainly never would have agreed. It wasn’t until my shock had subsided that I realized how out of place I looked and felt in this great house. My face flushed red despite the fact that only Tommy and I remained in the room. If this was to be our new home, I would need to purchase a completely new wardrobe as soon as possible to spare any further embarrassment._ _

__“Come along.” Tommy said once Mary had ascended the enormous staircase with James._ _

__“Shouldn’t I change first, or take my shoes off?” I asked. Tommy chuckled, and my heart leapt with joy. It was hope. Even if it only lasted a moment._ _

__“We own the place. Who fucking cares about your shoes.” He replied. It was clear that Tommy’s humble beginnings in life did not leave him nearly as uncomfortable or embarrassed as mine did. Before I could protest any further, he walked off and began the tour of our new home. As we moved through the rooms, he explained their proper purpose. The tour came to a natural end in the nursery. It was the final door at the end of the long upstairs hallway. I was surprised to find James asleep in the arms of the nurse. She had to be past middle aged given the gray streaks in her blonde hair. She lacked the warmth and cheer I had hoped for. Her long white apron only made her look more formidable._ _

__“Could I have him back now?” I asked as I stepped further into the room. My words came out sounding more forceful than I had intended, but there was no taking it back now. Tommy remained at the door, mainly I assumed because he refused to interfere with women’s business. The nurse’s face twisted with confusion at my request._ _

__“He’s fine, Rebecca. I’m sure that nurse Edwards will let you know if she needs you. Isn’t that right, nurse Edwards?” Tommy interjected. Amidst the sleep deprivation and fear regarding many other unsettled issues in life, my fierce maternal instinct reared its ugly head._ _

__“Yes, of course, Mr. Shelby.” Nurse Edwards assured Tommy. Her eyes shifted past me and focusing on Tommy._ _

__“It’s been more than three hours since his last feeding. Not that you would know considering you met him less than half an hour ago. So I suggest you give me back _my _son before this becomes more uncomfortable for the both of us.” I replied sharply. Nurse Edwards stood, and despite the extreme displeasure written all over her face she complied with my request.___ _

____“I’ll leave you to it.” Tommy excused himself as quickly as possible. He closed the door behind him, leaving the three of us alone in the white washed room. Gently, I stroked James’s cheek and his bright blue eyes opened. I moved to the window as I unbuttoned my shirt with my free hand. Once James successfully latched, I turned my attention to the expansive greenery outside the window._ _ _ _

____“Mrs. Shelby, I meant no offense…” Nurse Edwards started._ _ _ _

____“Nurse Edwards, I will not lie to you, I am new to this way of life. But please don’t ever expect me to be like the other ladies you have worked for. I will never be like them, nor do I have an interest in becoming like them.” I replied. Somehow I had managed to keep my voice level; even despite the flurry of maternal emotions that I were attempting to take control. In an attempt to seem somewhat civilized, I took a deep breath and released some of the tension from my body. Only then did I turn. My state of partial undress made nurse Edwards visibly uncomfortable. Her eyes darted around the room as she sought something suitable to look at. “You would be wise to bear in mind that I am James’s mother. I will not be handing my son over for you to raise. He grew inside of me, therefore he is a part of me. I intend to remain fully involved in caring for him and protecting him. Now, I understand that everyone needs a living wage so I will not dismiss you. I am sure in time I will find some use for you, but until that time comes, I would ask that you take your cues from me. Not the other way around.” I told her._ _ _ _

____“Yes, Mrs. Shelby.” She replied tightly. It was so blatantly obvious that she was not used to being told how to manage children._ _ _ _

____“Good. I’m glad we could come to an understanding.” I said as I turned back to the window. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence that lasted until James finished his feeding. After twenty minutes his blue eyes closed and he drifted back to sleep. I placed him in the crib, being careful not to wake him as I settled him in. I buttoned my blouse before turning to address nurse Edwards again. It didn’t seem fair to make the poor woman uncomfortable after giving her such a harsh tongue lashing. “When he wakes, you come find me.” I told her as I moved to the door. Immediately, I went in search of Tommy to give him a piece of my mind regarding nurse Edwards. Eventually, after fifteen minutes of searching, I found Tommy behind the desk in his office. It shouldn’t have surprised me that he was there. In fact, it should have been the first place I looked. He brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled as he examined the document in his left hand. He lifted his eyes to meet mine when he heard the door shut behind me._ _ _ _

____“Do we still have a nanny or did you run her off?” Tommy inquired as he set the document to the side. The tone of his voice and sharp gaze of his eyes was enough to tell me that he was not pleased with my performance. I looked down at my feet, feeling much like a child in front of the head master for misbehaving._ _ _ _

____“I don’t know what came over me. I was an absolute terror, wasn’t I?” I asked. I brought my hands to my face and shook my head in embarrassment and disbelief. Tommy motioned for me to come closer and sit in one of the leather padded chairs. His guarded expression left me to wonder what he thought of my outburst._ _ _ _

____“Do you want me to dismiss her?” Tommy inquired. He leaned back in his chair before he brought the cigarette back to his lips._ _ _ _

____“No. I gave the poor woman quite the dressing-down… but I’m sure we can manage to work it out.” I explained. Tommy nodded as he exhaled. He looked dangerous and powerful behind the great wood desk, sharp blue eyes trained, dressed in a perfectly tailored dark suit, and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. I wanted to round the desk and sit myself in his lap. To kiss him and make him forget everything that had happened._ _ _ _

____“Would you like a drink?” Tommy asked as he moved to top off his own glass._ _ _ _

____“No, but could I have a cigarette?” I asked carefully. Tommy was rarely without a cigarette in his hand, but I had never asked what he thought of me smoking. He set his tumbler on the desk before passing me the silver case and matches. I slipped the cigarette between my lips and struck a match, before brining the guarded flame closer. I discarded the match in the large crystal ashtray on his desk before settling back into my chair. Tommy moved behind his desk, but did not sit. He sighed loudly and he leaned over the desk. The tension visible in the way his shoulder muscles bunched under the rich fabric._ _ _ _

____“We need to discuss somethings.” Tommy started. He lifted his eyes and met my gaze. I nodded my head. My arms began to tingle with anticipation, while my heart kicked up into a flutter. My mouth went dry, which left me wishing I had accepted the drink. “It took some doing, but I was able to get the file.” Tommy said. He held up the thick manila file and looked at it in disdain. I wanted to vomit at the sight of it. I never considered the possibility that Campbell’s threat could actually exist. How terribly stupid I was!_ _ _ _

____“What does it say?” I asked cautiously. Tommy opened the file and pulled out the first sheet. I discarded my cigarette, suddenly feeling too nervous to smoke._ _ _ _

____“This is a certified letter from the Archbishop in Dublin.” Tommy explained as he passed me the piece of paper. “Your legal, given name is Mary Rebecca Elizabeth O’Neill. According to the church register, you were born in March of 1898, the only child born to Mr. Jonathan and Mary O’Neill. Your name is all over the church registers.” He continued. I ran my finger over the church seal at the bottom and closed my eyes. The taste of bitter desperation quickly rose as my stomach turned._ _ _ _

____“Yes…” I confessed. I opened my eyes just as Tommy dropped his head in defeat. “My mother named me Rebecca, but she was told to choose a more suitable, traditional first name. Seeing as her name was Mary, she just put it out in front and kept the name she wanted for me. I’ve never gone by Mary a day in my life! I wouldn’t even turn my head if someone shouted it at me.” I explained. The strength in my voice began to waver as Tommy’s eyes darted upwards, as he glared sharply back at me._ _ _ _

____“Do you have any idea what trouble your lies have caused me, this family?” Tommy snapped as he straightened up tall. His grief was short lived; anger quickly overtaking him. I lifted my hand to my mouth and shook my head. His anger left me to wonder just how badly had I misjudged the matter?_ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry. I never meant for it cause trouble.” I told him honestly._ _ _ _

____“You lied to me!” He spat through his teeth. He slammed his fists on the top of the desk, and I couldn’t help but flinch in my seat. His body began to shake as he struggled to restrain his rage. “I don’t even know if our marriage is legal!” He shouted before he turned toward the large window behind his desk. The shock of those words brought a sob up from the depths of my soul. I buried my face in my hands as my own fear and frustration rose to the surface. “It’s going to take me months to sort through the rest of that file. He was right, there is more than enough to hang you in there.” Tommy said._ _ _ _

____“God, no! Please.” I cried out to God without a care for how frantic I looked or sounded. Tommy turned at the sound of my hysterical cry. Even his trained expression was barely able to disguise the tremendous pain he felt at the sight of me. I stared up at him through my blurry, tear filled eyes. Desperation and sorrow written all over my face._ _ _ _

____“I’m not going to let that happen.” Tommy promised. His guard fell, only for a minute, in an increasingly rare display of sensitivity. “I had hoped that this house would be the beginning of a new future for us. I promised you that everything would change. Well… I guess now it has.” His voice trailed off as his eyes overflowed with sadness and disappointment. “All that being said, somethings will have to change around here.” Tommy said as he took his seat and crossed his hands on the desk. I blinked back the tears and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hands._ _ _ _

____“Yes?” I asked and tried my best not to sound too scared. In that moment, the fear of the unknown was far greater than anything Tommy could say next. At least, that was how I felt._ _ _ _

____“For better or worse, we have a son who deserves to have two parents. No matter what troubles may exist between us, it should not become a burden on him.” I nodded my head in agreement. My chest tightened in preparation of Tommy’s looming ultimatum. “First, I have asked Moss to look for any copies that may have been made of this file. So far this is the only copy we know of, and we will proceed with that knowledge. Like I said, it is going to take me weeks, if not months to investigate all the claims made in this file. Also, I will have to figure out if this marriage is even legal.” Tommy explained._ _ _ _

____“Tommy, I assure you that nothing in that file is the truth! This is the product of a sick man’s mind, nothing more.” I said._ _ _ _

____“I would take your word, if only I could trust you.” The indifference in Tommy’s words chilled me to the bone. I rose from my seat in a panic. I was running out of time, I could feel it in my bones._ _ _ _

____“I made a mistake! I had no idea that it would cause such a great deal of trouble. I know it will take time, but Tommy, I am begging you to forgive me.” I begged. Despite my plea, Tommy’s stoic facial expression was unmoved. “I love you…” I whispered._ _ _ _

____“I love you too. That’s what makes this so painful.” Tommy said as he stood. He sighed before he took a final puff of his cigarette. He discarded the spent cigarette in the ashtray and crossed his arms. “I want to spare us both the scandal of a divorce. So I propose we continue with this marriage, in name only.” Tommy suggested. The steadiness in his voice sounded almost like indifference. I would have believed it, but the glimmer in his blue eyes betrayed him. He still cared. The tears quickly built in my eyes as his words raced through my mind._ _ _ _

____“So you suggest that we live in this big fancy house just to keep up appearances? Why?” I cried in anger as the tears fell once again. This time, despite my embarrassment, I refused to hide my face from him. If he was going to push me out of his life, the least he could do was watch the aftermath of his decision._ _ _ _

____“I have big plans for this family and the company. I will not have any scandals fucking it up!” Tommy replied quickly._ _ _ _

____“I’m not a scandal, I am your wife!” I cried out in frustration._ _ _ _

____“Some wife you are! You lied about your own name, Rebecca! What else have you lied to me about?” Tommy fired back. I shook my head in bitter disbelief. A week ago, Tommy would have told me anything and now he was trying to break up our marriage._ _ _ _

____“After everything we’ve been through, you’re just going to quit? Paperwork or no paperwork, I am your wife! We’re bound together by God. I’m James’s mother for fuck sake! You can’t just cast me aside for making a mistake!” I cried as hot angry tears continued to stream down my face._ _ _ _

____“Rebecca… can’t you see? This brings everything of certainty into question. It’s like a house with a fracture in the foundation. It can’t stand up.” Tommy replied as he pointed to the open file on his desk. In that moment, I realized that there was no perfect words I could utter to convince Tommy. Nothing would make him forgive me. What little hope that survived up until this point died like a naked candle in the wind. My heart continued to pound like a drum in my chest as I debated whether to ask the question weighing most heavily on my heart._ _ _ _

____“Will you still love me?” I asked as my voice broke._ _ _ _

____“Yes, which only makes this decision more difficult.” He admitted. I nodded my head and attempted to accept his words. Those words. How could anyone accept them? The words that could never be unspoken. And I knew that no matter how long I stayed and fought back, Tommy would not be swayed. To that point, I asked myself, what was the point? I wiped the tears from my face as I took in a ragged breath._ _ _ _

____“I know that I am in no position to make requests, but if I don’t say this now, I fear that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” I told him with all the bravery I had left. He nodded me on as he crossed his arms. His eyes never leaving mine. “I’m not foolish enough to think that there won’t come a time when you will long for the company of a woman. Sex, I mean.”_ _ _ _

____“Rebecca-”_ _ _ _

____“No! Let me say it. Please!” I begged. Reluctantly, Tommy nodded and allowed me to finish. “If I knew it would be the last time, I would have suffered the pain to be with you one last time. To truly be your wife.” I confessed. I took in a shaky breath, and attempted not to cry. “I will agree to your terms for two reasons. First, because I will always love you, and second I want the best for our son. My request is rather simple. No strange women in this house. James would be none the wiser at his age, but as he grows older, I don’t want him making any unfortunate discoveries. If you must… I ask that you see to your needs elsewhere.” I finished just as my voice began to falter. Tommy’s eyes remained fixated on mine in the most uncomfortable way as he considered my request._ _ _ _

____“Alright.” He agreed after the most painful, long silence. I let out a sigh and willed myself not to cry again. “You can go, if you’re finished.” Tommy released me. I smiled bitterly at the significance of those words._ _ _ _

____It was done._ _ _ _

____Over._ _ _ _

_‘You can go.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading until the end! 
> 
> Let me know what you hope to see in the next story! I would love to hear your thoughts.


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